If Not Happy In Oz, How Do You Cope In Aussie 'Society'.

[Guest guest37336]

As we all know the migration process to Australia is often paved with hurdles and obstacles, many a time it feels as if it is a never ending cycle of up's and down's, but the one thing we have in common is that one day all the hassle and aggravation will be worth it because we will soon enough be in a country that we 'think' may offer us a better, different, samey, life, BUT.

 

 

What happens when we arrive there and we decide it isn't for us, maybe this is feeling that is there within a week, maybe it takes a lot longer, but in all honesty at times we decide that Australia isn't for us and a return to Blighty is not only needed, but also drives our very existence.

 

If this happens what do you do, or rather, interact on a daily basis with life in general and those around you?

 

I'm NOT talking of the reasons WHY you want to return, but the much more important issue of HOW you cope in the interim between living in Australia and the long awaited return.

 

Do you hide under the dooner for as long as you can all day and ignore you are living in Australia, do you decide to get on with it until the date in question. But maybe even more importantly, how do you find yourself reacting to everyday scenarios, do you tell each and every Aussie that you meet that you don't like it and can't wait top get back, do you vent your frustration on PIO and then pretend that nothing is wrong when you 'enter' Australian society? If an Aussie asks how you are doing do you tell them the truth, or grin and bear it? Do you in fact let your feelings (strong/weak) show to the everyday Aussie.

 

In short, do you let your true opinions show, and bugger what others think?

 

Most of us know that the Aussies have a great sense of pride in their country, so do you take this into account and temper your feelings toward the people and the country or do you come out and say exactly what you think to work colleagues, etc.

 

Just interesting that the frustration at times at having to wait for a return to the UK would I imagine boil over and surface when you least expect it, and if this happens how do the Aussies react to you?

 

This is a serious thread, no back biting please. As I said, it's aimed at those who have decided to come 'home' and how they interacted with Australian society in general is all, you never know it may help one or two out there.:wink:

 

Cheers Tony.:wink:

[Guest Guest16631]

..................in any country it all boils down to what makes your life content..............happiness is a state of mind that changes sometimes on a daily basis.............also your perception of 'home' changes........even though i have lived here since 1992 i often have overwheming desires for things in the uk ......................wild flowers..........pubs and churches.............i miss the smells of malaysia ...........the scenery of germany....................not havving a true 'home'.................makes things harder but when i have moments or even days of i really don't want to be here..............i try and think of all the things i would miss if i had to leave....................some people don't have a choice of where they live..........................and accepting where you are and looking for the good instead of the bad is the difference between being happy and content ......................or being in a constant state of anticipation and apprehension..........................just waiting to be somewhere else means you could be missing so much...................and no one wants to hear constantly that you are just waiting to go back to your 'home'...............if you really feel that you cannot stay just go ...............as i said in the beginning it is what you NEED to make your self content and happy...decide before you leave where you are..................and most people except that if you come from a different country you will miss some things............find them if possible or move on ....................share your positive thoughts.............and people will be more accepting of you in your down times........i find that by being honestabout the things i don't like is best .............i don't like a lot of the customs ,the large volumes of alcohol .,the laid back attitude in qld sometimes makes me scream...............aussies know their country is not perfect but if you only share your negative views be prepared to be met with animosity...................how would you feel if only negative things were said about where you come from...................[if you visit mum every sunday and have a close family net work will you really be able to live without this ?............friends [mates] do tend to fill this void but for some only family will do...........well worth that extra thought !]

[Guest TLC1]

I just feel happy in the knowledge that I am going home & that there is an end in sight! If people(Aussies) ask me how I find it over here I do choose my words carefully so as not to offend & normally say something along the lines of " Australia has lots of nice things about it & I love coming here on holiday but it's just not home" they normally agree with me & say they can't imagine moving to the other side of the world themselves! and as a very thoughtful young lady once said "There's no place like home!"

[Guest siamsusie]

Tony, I have lived for donkey's years all over Asia...

 

Thailand is a typical example of which I have a love/hate relationship with! Despite speaking the language fluently,and enjoy a good relationship with the people. I find its robotic to a large degree, racist, corruption +++, the list is endless, but I cant blame the country, its the system, its their own culture. No I cant talk to the native people about the negatives in their country, for me it shows the greatest disrespect and ultimately who am I to come along and demand their country should be a "little Holland or uk" ??

Laos, Cambodia, all of these countries are inordinately proud of their history and culture, and its not dissimilar to living over here, you fit in, respect that things are and work differently and either adapt or you leave for the "familiar".

 

Susie x

[Guest guest37336]

I just feel happy in the knowledge that I am going home & that there is an end in sight! If people(Aussies) ask me how I find it over here I do choose my words carefully so as not to offend & normally say something along the lines of " Australia has lots of nice things about it & I love coming here on holiday but it's just not home" they normally agree with me & say they can't imagine moving to the other side of the world themselves! and as a very thoughtful young lady once said "There's no place like home!"

 

Hi TLC.

 

Wise words, and a little off topic. I always find it amazing how many people say to me (both here in the UK and OZ) that they would never move to the other side of the world even if they were unhappy in their present country. They mention such words as brave, courageous, and the like, then I proceed to tell them, 'Oh go on, give it a go'.:yes:

 

[YOUTUBE]7w0ZyfkukUs[/YOUTUBE]

 

Cheers Tony.:wink:

[Guest guest37336]

I have not been myself since we have been here. I have become very shy, nervous and sometimes quite panicky and I dont know why.

I dont hate Australia but I have to admit, I do not like the Gold Coast one bit.

When talking to English friends we know, I feel I have to smile and say how wonderful life is and that if I am down, its just because its taking us a while to settle. After all, we are living the dream, arnt we?

We also have a few Aussie and Kiwi mates. Well with them, I can really tell them how I am feeling and they do seem to care. They agree the problem with crime is out of control, the kiwi's understand the pull of back home. Its like they have nothing to prove and also they dont slag the UK off cos they know nothing about it, apart from cricket & soccor lol.

Since we have decided to return home (I know only been here 7 months), I have posted on Facebook that the flights are booked and how I cant wait. Friends back home have posted on my wall asking why? well I have explained that my boys cant settle and us too and that I think Gold Coast is rough and liked it on Sunshine Coast but couldnt get work. I have said the Gold Coast is rough twice in response to people back home asking me.

Well now I feel really guilty and again I dont know why I should feel like that. Aparantly I think I have upset some of the English we know here by saying that. Also on there wall, I think they have had a little dig at me about "living the dream"

Just because some people love it here, surely its doesnt mean we all have too.

I just cant wait to get back to my "normal" life. I too slagged the UK and tbh, thought I was moving to Eutopia. I was wrong. Its a nice looking place but not for me.

Jill

 

Hi Jill.

 

Very valid points of view. And I totally agree with slagging the UK off. I make no bones about the fact that I love Australia, but have always tried NOT to slag the UK off when I return to Australia, the UK has after all been very good to me, and in equal measure bad, but that is my 'interpretation' of the facts. If truth were know it was probably my own fault that I 'felt'; like this.

 

And you are so right when people ask 'WHY' are you coming back. I admit I always say for 'personal reasons' (which they are) and I can't wait to get back to OZ, but to try and explain the 'pull' of any country (let alone your birth country) is at times impossible, because you HAVE to of had that very experience to sympathise, let alone empathise.

 

Cheers Tony.:wink:

[ali]

Sadly, some people don't cope with it and depression within the migrant population is quite high, which tends to lead to increased feelings of isolation.

[Guest marra2000]

I have not been myself since we have been here. I have become very shy, nervous and sometimes quite panicky and I dont know why.

I dont hate Australia but I have to admit, I do not like the Gold Coast one bit.

When talking to English friends we know, I feel I have to smile and say how wonderful life is and that if I am down, its just because its taking us a while to settle. After all, we are living the dream, arnt we?

We also have a few Aussie and Kiwi mates. Well with them, I can really tell them how I am feeling and they do seem to care. They agree the problem with crime is out of control, the kiwi's understand the pull of back home. Its like they have nothing to prove and also they dont slag the UK off cos they know nothing about it, apart from cricket & soccor lol.

Since we have decided to return home (I know only been here 7 months), I have posted on Facebook that the flights are booked and how I cant wait. Friends back home have posted on my wall asking why? well I have explained that my boys cant settle and us too and that I think Gold Coast is rough and liked it on Sunshine Coast but couldnt get work. I have said the Gold Coast is rough twice in response to people back home asking me.

Well now I feel really guilty and again I dont know why I should feel like that. Aparantly I think I have upset some of the English we know here by saying that. Also on there wall, I think they have had a little dig at me about "living the dream"

Just because some people love it here, surely its doesnt mean we all have too.

I just cant wait to get back to my "normal" life. I too slagged the UK and tbh, thought I was moving to Eutopia. I was wrong. Its a nice looking place but not for me.

Jill

 

Hi Jill. You should not feel guilty, people like that normally generalise that the UK has gone to the dogs and is rough with crime all over, even though they have not lived in allot of places and when they say ' I have lived all over the UK ' .... Balls ! . My view on these people are just Retards who cannot see the whole picture. I have lived in Australia in the past and can say that there are many places you would not dare go go in the evening, and even the best suburbs are within walking distance to a ghetto . People living the dream will one day just wake up. You do as you please and not like for others pleasure or views, chin up and all the best twinkle :biggrin: .

[Guest Guest16631]

...............another thought is how do those cope who cannot return for some reason"...............there is no option but to accept it and get on with life..........and yes depression is a real problem and often looking for like minded people is a must.......the only way sometimes is to focus on kids or those less fortunate .........count your blessings..."........etc...............sometimes a glass of wine and a post on here.........is what gets you through the bad days..."......

[calNgary]

I have not been myself since we have been here. I have become very shy, nervous and sometimes quite panicky and I dont know why.

I dont hate Australia but I have to admit, I do not like the Gold Coast one bit.

When talking to English friends we know, I feel I have to smile and say how wonderful life is and that if I am down, its just because its taking us a while to settle. After all, we are living the dream, arnt we?

We also have a few Aussie and Kiwi mates. Well with them, I can really tell them how I am feeling and they do seem to care. They agree the problem with crime is out of control, the kiwi's understand the pull of back home. Its like they have nothing to prove and also they dont slag the UK off cos they know nothing about it, apart from cricket & soccor lol.

Since we have decided to return home (I know only been here 7 months), I have posted on Facebook that the flights are booked and how I cant wait. Friends back home have posted on my wall asking why? well I have explained that my boys cant settle and us too and that I think Gold Coast is rough and liked it on Sunshine Coast but couldnt get work. I have said the Gold Coast is rough twice in response to people back home asking me.

Well now I feel really guilty and again I dont know why I should feel like that. Aparantly I think I have upset some of the English we know here by saying that. Also on there wall, I think they have had a little dig at me about "living the dream"

Just because some people love it here, surely its doesnt mean we all have too.

I just cant wait to get back to my "normal" life. I too slagged the UK and tbh, thought I was moving to Eutopia. I was wrong. Its a nice looking place but not for me.

Jill

 

 

Hi Jill

Firstly :hug:,,

Why don't you tell your friends how you really feel? Why not tell them your not settling or really enjoying it? If they are real friends they will be able to help and support you. I have had a couple of familys return that i was friendly with,, i made it known if they wanted a chat or a vent i was here to listen, as i would imagine NOT having anyone to let off your frustrations on and bottling it up won't help your feelings. I was able to tie up loose ends for them when they returned and they used me aqs their mailing address. Have a chat with some of your friends, especially now youve decided to go home, you may be surprised by the support you recieve .

Lots of luck for your return , at least you tried and will never be saying ''What If ?''

 

Cal x

[Quoll]

I have not been myself since we have been here. I have become very shy, nervous and sometimes quite panicky and I dont know why.

I dont hate Australia but I have to admit, I do not like the Gold Coast one bit.

When talking to English friends we know, I feel I have to smile and say how wonderful life is and that if I am down, its just because its taking us a while to settle. After all, we are living the dream, arnt we?

We also have a few Aussie and Kiwi mates. Well with them, I can really tell them how I am feeling and they do seem to care. They agree the problem with crime is out of control, the kiwi's understand the pull of back home. Its like they have nothing to prove and also they dont slag the UK off cos they know nothing about it, apart from cricket & soccor lol.

Since we have decided to return home (I know only been here 7 months), I have posted on Facebook that the flights are booked and how I cant wait. Friends back home have posted on my wall asking why? well I have explained that my boys cant settle and us too and that I think Gold Coast is rough and liked it on Sunshine Coast but couldnt get work. I have said the Gold Coast is rough twice in response to people back home asking me.

Well now I feel really guilty and again I dont know why I should feel like that. Aparantly I think I have upset some of the English we know here by saying that. Also on there wall, I think they have had a little dig at me about "living the dream"

Just because some people love it here, surely its doesnt mean we all have too.

I just cant wait to get back to my "normal" life. I too slagged the UK and tbh, thought I was moving to Eutopia. I was wrong. Its a nice looking place but not for me.

Jill

 

 

Good for you! If your friends cant be supportive then they arent friends IMHO.

 

The slagging off of the place you have just left is what is technically termed cognitive dissonance - when you realize that you dont quite think the way you thought you would think but have made a decision that you basically have to stick with so you spruik loud and long the way you think you should just to make that dodgy decision feel better. You see it a lot on here.

 

I dont know that anyone can really understand that feeling of displacement without having felt it themselves and situational depression is a very real condition - solved mainly by removing oneself from the situation be that location, work environment, relationship etc. I suspect that a lot of people actually become desensitzed to their feelings after a while - whether they then break out into the lurve of the place I dunno but I wouldnt be surprised if say 10 years down the track the superficial gloss wears off and they get back to how they felt in the first place.

 

I tell people how I feel these days after decades of keeping mum and not rocking the boat. To hell with it! One of the best things for me was finding forums like this one and learning that I wasnt abnormal, that there are hundreds of people out there feeling just the way I do - perfectly normal in fact. If the recipient doesnt like my message well too bloody bad, I am going to tell it like I find it if anyone asks. Some of my acquaintance sort of joke about my displacement but the "real" friends know when to stop joking and start being serious.

 

I cope in a myriad of ways - being a CBT type person I use thought stopping and affirmations a lot. I also allow myself a "me" time and if I want to bawl my eyes out then I will do it in the shower - actually that was the first inkling that my DH had that anything was "wrong". I would happily spend 1/2 hour in the shower and, bless his little greenie socks, he was panicking about the need for 3 minute showers in the midst of a drought - he got the message pretty quick smart that time. Other thing I do is to always have a trip home in the pipeline - best if it is booked but sometimes just knowing the month of departure is enough to keep me from slitting my wrists (joke, never felt suicidal just occasionally angry and resentful!) - I do know of women who have actually been suicidal at being trapped here (that's my job) and I know that if I ever get that far down I would be gone. BTW if you dont fancy CBT then ACT is a good strategy to try and Russ Harris' book "The Happiness Trap" is a good place to start for mindfulness strategies.

 

Good luck with the next step of your life, make the most of it and relish what you have!

[Guest guest37336]

Thanks Cal

I have mentioned to them and they do know we are going. I am not that close to them to be honest. I could of made more of an effort really. One has been very supportive when i was struggling but I think I have upset her by calling the Gold Coast. I am not feeling myself and dont want to fall out with anyone so would rather leave it. They havent done anything wrong, its just how I am feeling (paranoid) :wacko:

 

Sorry Tony for this thread going off track.

 

Jill

xxx

 

Hi Jill.

 

Don't worry about it going off track, I normally do the same to others,:tongue::embarrassed:.

 

But in all honesty if it has helped then who cares if it goes off topic a bit,:notworthy:. Does us all good to have a place to chat, even if slightly off topic.:wubclub::yes:

 

Go for your life matey,:yes:

 

 

Cheers Tony.:wink:

[calNgary]

Chin up Jill, you can always get me on here if you want to vent,lol. I won't mind you slating the GC ,lol and even though i have no plans at all to move far away from the Gold Coast,i couldnt live ''on it'' and i totally agree with you about the change in the area, its sad and of course there are worse places still but compared to how it was 4 or 5 years ago you are right.

 

Cal x

[starlight7]

I have lived here in Australia most of my adult life ( I went to school in the UK) and I wouldn't dream of going back to the UK but I have to say I couldn't live in the Gold Coast, either. Brisbane is another story, I like it there and I think I could live there. The Gold Coast for me is great for a holiday with kids and grandkids but that is all. We are all different,though, aren't we?

[fish.01]

I have lived here in Australia most of my adult life ( I went to school in the UK) and I wouldn't dream of going back to the UK but I have to say I couldn't live in the Gold Coast, either. Brisbane is another story, I like it there and I think I could live there. The Gold Coast for me is great for a holiday with kids and grandkids but that is all. We are all different,though, aren't we?

 

Out of curiosity, why?

[Guest guest37336]

Could be wrong here, BUT.

 

I 'think' even the most Ocker of Aussies would sit down and listen to concerns. It depends entirely on the way it is said, or rather the manner it is said.

 

If you go and say 'I hate this place, I want to get back asap', or 'For Christ's sake I just don't like it', then you could be met with a certain degree of, shall we say, 'hostility',:mad:.

 

But if you are reasoned, not sarcastic, and said in a 'manner' that allows understanding you may be surprised at what reaction you receive.

 

I could be wrong, but the Aussies in general will accept a point of view if said with a reasoned mindset and explanation and dare I say 'humour' (NOT SARCASM). I know there are some out there who believe that ANYONE who can't settle in OZ are scum bags, but they are in the vast minority thankfully,:yes:.

[calNgary]

I totally agree with that Tony, i have a friend who has been here a couple of years and dogged the place and wanted to go home since the day she arrived,lol, she does it to the extent her husband just laughs now ,lol. Its not just Oz though ,its everythinggggggggggg, it does depress you after a while and it is hard to support someone who is constantly down and negative about absolutely everything.

 

Cal x

[fish.01]

I totally agree with that Tony, i have a friend who has been here a couple of years and dogged the place and wanted to go home since the day she arrived,lol, she does it to the extent her husband just laughs now ,lol. Its not just Oz though ,its everythinggggggggggg, it does depress you after a while and it is hard to support someone who is constantly down and negative about absolutely everything.

 

Cal x

 

I think some people are just totally stressed with being away from their comfort zone and are not cut out for change/travel...the unfamiliarity and feeling of not belonging sends them into this unreasonable negative view of everything. Maybe it is a cover for the fear they are feeling...a kind of trash the place to cover the underlying panic and desire to be home back in their comfort zone. It may also be part of justifying the case to their partner about why they should leave...the postman is different kind of comment....this is all guess work of course and may be wrong - just a theory from observing some on here over time. I think it may explain some who get home and get their bearings again and then ping pong after recognising the panic that overtook them....let me be clear I am not suggesting this is the case for all or even the majority who return home.

[B1K3R]

I think that there are various reasons why some immigrants are not happy in OZ, but I think Fish.01's post above really nails it down. Well, its exactly my wife's case.

 

She had great support from many Aussies :notworthy: and there were so many people ready to listen and be there for her. I'm amazed at how supportive the Aussies are. It helped a lot, but it was not enough. Unfortunately, going back does not always solve things, especially when you have no house or job to go to and have spent your lifetime savings to make the OZ adventure work.

 

I have to admit that moving here has been very hard, in all senses, but I never look back, just forward and up. It's what keeps me going. What the future will bring I have no idea, I just do my best and accept what comes along. I'm only sad cause of our daughter, she is innocent and at the first moment I can I'll just shove my dream up my @r53 and go back to the life I never wanted but be with my little girl..but then again, like Tink said, happiness is all about perceptions and if one wants, he can turn life around.

 

As always, easier said than done....

[fish.01]

Didn't even think of your experiences when writing that b1k3r but I guess a few go through similar things on here. I think everyone on here is very brave for trying...and for you personally I think almost everyone on here will be hoping things work out for you. Hard to keep a good man down.

[Guest siamsusie]

I think that there are various reasons why some immigrants are not happy in OZ, but I think Fish.01's post above really nails it down. Well, its exactly my wife's case.

 

She had great support from many Aussies :notworthy: and there were so many people ready to listen and be there for her. I'm amazed at how supportive the Aussies are. It helped a lot, but it was not enough. Unfortunately, going back does not always solve things, especially when you have no house or job to go to and have spent your lifetime savings to make the OZ adventure work.

 

I have to admit that moving here has been very hard, in all senses, but I never look back, just forward and up. It's what keeps me going. What the future will bring I have no idea, I just do my best and accept what comes along. I'm only sad cause of our daughter, she is innocent and at the first moment I can I'll just shove my dream up my @r53 and go back to the life I never wanted but be with my little girl..but then again, like Tink said, happiness is all about perceptions and if one wants, he can turn life around.

 

As always, easier said than done....

 

 

Posts like this Biker, have my utmost respect.. written with honesty and frankness.

I have followed your story since the beginning, and with your determination and love for your family I just know you will achieve your goals.

 

:hug::notworthy:Much love Susie x

[B1K3R]

I just know you will achieve your goals.

 

:hug::notworthy:Much love Susie x

 

Yeey, am I going to win the national lottery? :laugh:

 

'Joking' apart, you're an amazing soul Siamsusie, one of a kind :cute:

 

Now back on track to OP, cause Tony might jump on us!

[Guest guest37336]

Yeey, am I going to win the national lottery? :laugh:

 

'Joking' apart, you're an amazing soul Siamsusie, one of a kind :cute:

 

Now back on track to OP, cause Tony might jump on us!

 

Not me mate, for one I would get a bloody great slap from Susie as the court order is still in place:eek::wubclub:, and secondly I've seen you mate, soft as a soft thing inside, but by god you still remind me of a certain someone, and I remember the damage he did in Melbourne mate.

 

Cheers Tony.:wink:

[B1K3R]

but by god you still remind me of a certain someone, and I remember the damage he did in Melbourne mate.

 

Cheers Tony.:wink:

 

Naaa, I can't even harm a fly :laugh:

 

And I look better too! :wink:

 

Cheers

B!K3R

[Guest Guest37175]

As we all know the migration process to Australia is often paved with hurdles and obstacles, many a time it feels as if it is a never ending cycle of up's and down's, but the one thing we have in common is that one day all the hassle and aggravation will be worth it because we will soon enough be in a country that we 'think' may offer us a better, different, samey, life, BUT.

 

 

What happens when we arrive there and we decide it isn't for us, maybe this is feeling that is there within a week, maybe it takes a lot longer, but in all honesty at times we decide that Australia isn't for us and a return to Blighty is not only needed, but also drives our very existence.

 

If this happens what do you do, or rather, interact on a daily basis with life in general and those around you?

 

I'm NOT talking of the reasons WHY you want to return, but the much more important issue of HOW you cope in the interim between living in Australia and the long awaited return.

 

Do you hide under the dooner for as long as you can all day and ignore you are living in Australia, do you decide to get on with it until the date in question. But maybe even more importantly, how do you find yourself reacting to everyday scenarios, do you tell each and every Aussie that you meet that you don't like it and can't wait top get back, do you vent your frustration on PIO and then pretend that nothing is wrong when you 'enter' Australian society? If an Aussie asks how you are doing do you tell them the truth, or grin and bear it? Do you in fact let your feelings (strong/weak) show to the everyday Aussie.

 

In short, do you let your true opinions show, and bugger what others think?

 

Most of us know that the Aussies have a great sense of pride in their country, so do you take this into account and temper your feelings toward the people and the country or do you come out and say exactly what you think to work colleagues, etc.

 

Just interesting that the frustration at times at having to wait for a return to the UK would I imagine boil over and surface when you least expect it, and if this happens how do the Aussies react to you?

 

This is a serious thread, no back biting please. As I said, it's aimed at those who have decided to come 'home' and how they interacted with Australian society in general is all, you never know it may help one or two out there.:wink:

 

Cheers Tony.:wink:

 

 

 

In terms of day to day interactions with Australians and other Brits I make it a rule to never let on what I'm thinking or feeling. As I see it, it's my problem that I don't like it here and it's up to me to manage it. In the job I do, I work with the public and have to adopt a professional persona which is polite and respectful, so I do the same when dealing with people outside of work. I never go so far as to feign interest in Oz or it's culture because I have none. No disrespect to the place or it's people, but it's their country, their home, not mine. I'm just lodging here until the time comes for me to go home. So I would never criticise the place publicly. I just keep my thoughts to myself.

 

As a strategy that generally works pretty well. Where that comes unstuck is when people expect something more from me, some genuine level of enthusiasm for the place. Like yourself Tony, I'm aware that Australians are very proud of their country and often expect newcomers or visitors to be as impressed by the place as they are. That's lead to some difficult situations for me as most Australians can detect when I'm being politely disinterested in the place and want to know why. Oddly I'm helped by the fact that I suffer from Depression, so I can usually allude to my illness as a reason before changing the subject back to safe territory.

 

It does mean that I come across as a fairly bland, uninteresting individual.....mind you, I think I probably am!. But, it makes the wheels go round. I get through the days without too much stress that way and every day safely negotiated is another day nearer to going home.