moving back a possible disaster

[Guest jak2503]

Not Changed that much then.

 

 

Sounds like you need to move again

 

A bit like the possies who now have a big house and a swimming pool

 

 

And you brought heaps of it with you

 

If the last two months have been dreary then, then whats good weather

 

 

Well you know what the aussies say? if you don't like .

 

My advise if you can afford it go back to Aus. Your right about people being negative in the UK, and its the people who make a great country. So we don't need any more negativity. Australia is a great country because of its people,Bod

 

 

 

i must be a bit on the simple side folks, i thought poms in oz was a forum where you could ask questions, gain info, find friends, and also put into words how you are feeling when down and generally a bit low, but as normal you get muppets dragging you even further down, now i can express a opinion as much as i want, if the uk doesnt need people like me then its a sorry bloody country, people like me that worked here for 20 years paying taxes, doing my bit towards voulantry work, always looking to move forward, i went to aus for a new challenge with my family, now ive come back with my family to find its even worse than when we left, maybe im wrong, your right about aus being a great country and maybe some of that has rubbed of on me and i see just what a mess of a country this is.

[Dawny]

So sorry to hear that your return has not worked out how you had hoped! Maybe you are just feeling a tad deflated, it took my o/h about a month to get back in the swing of things, and we were not in oz that long! Thats why i think the MBTTUK section of the forum can be so helpful to those thinking of returning,Lots of useful information can be found,

Maybe as you say you are very independent away from family you could consider moving areas as others have said!

We are down south and happy to say, its fairly upbeat to be honest, House prices have not risen that much, seem pretty much the same, Parks and beer gardens all clean, Sounds to me its very much your local councils fault the area you live in is cluttered with needles etc, Hope you work something out, and find happiness soon wether here or back in oz!

[Bod]

i must be a bit on the simple side folks, i thought poms in oz was a forum where you could ask questions, gain info, find friends, and also put into words how you are feeling when down and generally a bit low, but as normal you get muppets dragging you even further down, now i can express a opinion as much as i want, if the uk doesnt need people like me then its a sorry bloody country, people like me that worked here for 20 years paying taxes, doing my bit towards voulantry work, always looking to move forward, i went to aus for a new challenge with my family, now ive come back with my family to find its even worse than when we left, maybe im wrong, your right about aus being a great country and maybe some of that has rubbed of on me and i see just what a mess of a country this is.

 

This forum is for exactly as you say. Life might be crap where you are but its not crap every where.

Its hard coming back in some ways its harder. You have to give it time. I know how you feel but slagging this country off wont help you settle or bring posativity to those around you and reading your thread who actually like this country for all its walts.

 

Im sorry if your feeling sh!t but its not going to help you by getting on other peoples goats.

 

I'm sorry if I have dragged you down further that was not my intension. I love this country and if I don't say my bit it'll give me the hump.

 

All the best

 

Kermit

[Conniebygaslight]

We all have likes and dislikes and depending on our situation and where we return is how we see either country. I totally agree that people are generally much more positive in Australia than here and at first i found it really refreshing. I then began to have the opinion that so much is drilled into the aussies about living in the lucky country (singing the national anthem in class from 4 years old)'that I think it is just a way of life to them. I found that they question very little and don't really have much to compare things to. If they do travel it tends to be third world countries so they have this very grateful attitude. They live by the "but that's just how it is"attitude which to be honest drove me mad! I don't think they are laid back just far more accepting than us.

I think it must be great to live your life like that but I tend to question things and us Brits do moan when things are not as they should be....part of being British is being realistic but I understand that moaning can get tiresome.....not as tiresome (IMO) as Oy Oy Oy though.

[Guest jak2503]

This forum is for exactly as you say. Life might be crap where you are but its not crap every where.

Its hard coming back in some ways its harder. You have to give it time. I know how you feel but slagging this country off wont help you settle or bring posativity to those around you and reading your thread who actually like this country for all its walts.

 

Im sorry if your feeling sh!t but its not going to help you by getting on other peoples goats.

 

I'm sorry if I have dragged you down further that was not my intension. I love this country and if I don't say my bit it'll give me the hump.

 

All the best

 

Kermit

i do agree with some of what you say, the uk is a great place, i just feel its slipping behind in moving forward, i did not intend to generalise on the whole of the uk, i only meant the area i live in, and as you said you have every right to have your say, as did i, i often read threads and see all the threads about those that love aus and those that hate aus, the same with the uk, i say this with the greatest respect and i mean that, but i couldnt care less if i offend someone with my opinions, the simple solution is not to read this thread, i often see a thread and dont read it because i know it will annoy me, anyway ive gotta go and start spending my dole money building my new house in romania, thanks for all those who replied and im sure tommorow will be a better day.

[Guest Guest 47403]

hi all,

just a quick one on heading back to blighty, we arrived back 2 weeks ago, im starting to think its been a big mistake, we headed back after two years in aus, the missing of family ect was the main reason, we went to oz for no reason other than the challenge of somthing new and exiting, i worked for all of the time there and we had some really good friends, however it seemed right to head back (family ilness ect) . after getting back we were in total shock, the unemployment is massive where we live, (was thriving when we left) family were pleased to see us for about a day , its back to normall already, house prices seem to have risen here, freinds are still here, their lives have not changed which is fine because thats a individual choice, however we have changed a lot, we are more independant as a family unit, we no longer need family to dictate our lives any more, and yes the green rolling fields are lovely, but so were the hinterlands of qld, marks and spencer rocks but so does big w. coffee here is shocking and going to the pub involves not taking a piss due to the possibility of being mugged by a 14 year old on coke!!! wine bars have sprung up every where and folks seem to go in and pretend their somthing else due to the fact their in a wine bar, honestly it baffled me when i bumped into some old friends acting like somthing from a flaming reality show, food is cheap as chips here, fuel is through the roof expensive, all people talk about is how crap the govt is, there is no positivity about the place, i spoke to so family friends about the floods and the damage it caused and also the spirit of how people turned up to help out because its about "doing the right thing" , one bloke said how pathetic it was that the govt needed to get the public to help out, i nealy swung for him, but thats the spirit of the uk, no motivation at all, this is only how i see it so dont leap on me, i just want folks to understand that heading back to the uk may not be the right thing to do, we were so exited at the thought of heading back, only two weeks in and were almost broken, one more thing, nothing is free here, the weather is bland and dreary, i read folks banging on about driving through the countryside here for a lovely pub lunch in a beer garden with the kids a watching a fantastic sunset over the hills, reality is cheap microwaved pub food indoors due to the dreary rain with the kids moaning because the beergarden is vandalised and full of vomit and needles, oh and you know that carvery or fish and chips your dying to have when you arrive, well it tastes great but after you have had it you wonder why you missed it, i hope those who are back in blighty are enjoying there time here and not having the fun times im haveing, to those in aus, think before you head back in fact try a holiday before you ship it all back. this is only my opinions so dont bag me to much,

 

How dare you say those things about beautiful perfect blighty, the Oz haters will be out in force defending England...........wait until there leader see's this he'll be livid :biggrin::biggrin:

 

Sounds like you need to save up and get back to Oz mate you know it makes sense.

[Petals]

Sorry you are unhappy back in the UK but am sure you will do what is best for you and yours. You will not be the first or the last to return to the UK and find you preferred living overseas, be it Canada, South Africa, New Zealand, Aus or the USA. You get no medals for staying where you are not happy.

 

As for slagging off as has been referred to I have noticed that there is a fair bit of slagging going both ways, so if you feel like it why not, gets it off your chest and if it upsets people that is their problem. Its a forum for all and all people's opinions are relevant whether I agree with them or not.

 

That is what is good about the net we can say what we really feel instead of putting on a happy face like we do in real life. Cyber world relieves the stress.

 

Keep posting, keep venting and good luck.

[Bod]

i do agree with some of what you say, the uk is a great place, i just feel its slipping behind in moving forward, i did not intend to generalise on the whole of the uk, i only meant the area i live in, and as you said you have every right to have your say, as did i, i often read threads and see all the threads about those that love aus and those that hate aus, the same with the uk, i say this with the greatest respect and i mean that, but i couldnt care less if i offend someone with my opinions, the simple solution is not to read this thread, i often see a thread and dont read it because i know it will annoy me, anyway ive gotta go and start spending my dole money building my new house in romania, thanks for all those who replied and im sure tommorow will be a better day.

 

 

Somtime I care about offending people somtimes I don't. But the last thing I'm going to do is not read a thread because I don't agree with an opinion, I'd rather get stuck in than slope off to Rommania.

 

I love a ding dong . But it seem all Ding tonight.

 

Thats de viaţă

[Guest jak2503]

Somtime I care about offending people somtimes I don't. But the last thing I'm going to do is not read a thread because I don't agree with an opinion, I'd rather get stuck in than slope off to Rommania.

 

I love a ding dong . But it seem all Ding tonight.

 

Thats de viaţă

i must be a bit slow on the uptake here but idont inderstand what you mean about ding dong, probably living in aus has slowed my thinking down,

[Bod]

i must be a bit slow on the uptake here but idont inderstand what you mean about ding dong, probably living in aus has slowed my thinking down,

 

 

You'll be alright, it did that to me. Give it time

[Quoll]

Well the usual advice given to people who decide that Aus is not for them is to "give it 2 years" so maybe 2 weeks is a bit premature.

 

I must say that it doesnt sound like the Suffolk I venture into when I pop back to neighbouring Cambridge but hey, I am sure there are bits of grot I dont get to see (I do tend to avoid Ipswich but that is because I prefer the smaller places!). Perhaps moving elsewhere would be the go. I often think that unless you have a house/job etc then it is a mistake to go "back" to what you had. The whole of UK is very much your oyster if you dont have those constraints (or even if you do, perhaps you could continue to rent out the house etc). There are some amazing other places you could try and not feel like it is the same old same old. Darn sight cheaper than trekking back here where the same things that drove you back to UK are still here.

 

BTW what you are experiencing is the "Curse of the Expat" - destined to forever be looking at the other bloke's greener grass and forgetting that it still needs mowing every week!

[kernow43]

How dare you say those things about beautiful perfect blighty, the Oz haters will be out in force defending England...........wait until there leader see's this he'll be livid :biggrin::biggrin:

 

Sounds like you need to save up and get back to Oz mate you know it makes sense.

 

Where is he? He hasn't been seen for a few days!

[Guest guest36762]

hi all,

just a quick one on heading back to blighty, we arrived back 2 weeks ago, im starting to think its been a big mistake, we headed back after two years in aus, the missing of family ect was the main reason, we went to oz for no reason other than the challenge of somthing new and exiting, i worked for all of the time there and we had some really good friends, however it seemed right to head back (family ilness ect) . after getting back we were in total shock, the unemployment is massive where we live, (was thriving when we left) family were pleased to see us for about a day , its back to normall already, house prices seem to have risen here, freinds are still here, their lives have not changed which is fine because thats a individual choice, however we have changed a lot, we are more independant as a family unit, we no longer need family to dictate our lives any more, and yes the green rolling fields are lovely, but so were the hinterlands of qld, marks and spencer rocks but so does big w. coffee here is shocking and going to the pub involves not taking a piss due to the possibility of being mugged by a 14 year old on coke!!! wine bars have sprung up every where and folks seem to go in and pretend their somthing else due to the fact their in a wine bar, honestly it baffled me when i bumped into some old friends acting like somthing from a flaming reality show, food is cheap as chips here, fuel is through the roof expensive, all people talk about is how crap the govt is, there is no positivity about the place, i spoke to so family friends about the floods and the damage it caused and also the spirit of how people turned up to help out because its about "doing the right thing" , one bloke said how pathetic it was that the govt needed to get the public to help out, i nealy swung for him, but thats the spirit of the uk, no motivation at all, this is only how i see it so dont leap on me, i just want folks to understand that heading back to the uk may not be the right thing to do, we were so exited at the thought of heading back, only two weeks in and were almost broken, one more thing, nothing is free here, the weather is bland and dreary, i read folks banging on about driving through the countryside here for a lovely pub lunch in a beer garden with the kids a watching a fantastic sunset over the hills, reality is cheap microwaved pub food indoors due to the dreary rain with the kids moaning because the beergarden is vandalised and full of vomit and needles, oh and you know that carvery or fish and chips your dying to have when you arrive, well it tastes great but after you have had it you wonder why you missed it, i hope those who are back in blighty are enjoying there time here and not having the fun times im haveing, to those in aus, think before you head back in fact try a holiday before you ship it all back. this is only my opinions so dont bag me to much,

 

two names I never thought I'd hear mentioned in the same sentence!

Seriously though, you're there now, make the most of it rather than looking for negatives. As petals has said previously, it's all about perception, and adapting to the difference between the 2 countries, both ways. I'm not sure if you're subconsciously hoping for people to advise you to get straight back on that plane, but IMO that's the worst thing you could do. Settle in, rather than resigning yourself to a life of pingpong. Remind yourself of the financial and emotional costs of relocating a 3rd time....and just stay put (for now, nothing is forever), chillax

[Guest famousfive]

What we think about the UK or Aus will have no bearing whatsoever on how you feel or what you decide to do unfortunately.What will have effect on that decision however is how you deal with the disappointment you feel upon returning.One way to clear the head on this one is to ask yourself some tough qquestions and answer them honestly.

For example-

How did you really feel in Australia?Something made you come back,was it the pull of family or was there more to it than that?

If you had work would you feel more optimistic?

If you are prepared to consider a return to oz then why not a move for employment and a better locality within the UK?

Did you really want to come back in the first place or was it more your partners decision?

Presuming you knew this area well before your return,why on earth did you not know how bad unemployment was?

If returning to oz would you live in an area that has many social issues and high unemployment? If not then why do you think this is wise to do in the UK?

If the decision to head back to the UK was your partners idea then a serious question needs to be asked........have you intentionally[maybe subconciously]set yourself up for failure in the hope of reversing the decision and heading back to oz?A tough one,but be honest here.

Had you reinvented yourself in oz and left the old you back at home?If so maybe slotting back to the old ways is a step too far and one you are not comfortable living with.

And most important of all....how does your partner feel,you said we,because at the end of the day this is not your decision alone.

 

You need to figure out what is actually making you so glum because otherwise you will feel defeated before you have even begun.

Good luck with the sou lsearching and I hope things start getting easier for you soon.All the best.

[Guest guest36762]

What we think about the UK or Aus will have no bearing whatsoever on how you feel or what you decide to do unfortunately.What will have effect on that decision however is how you deal with the disappointment you feel upon returning.One way to clear the head on this one is to ask yourself some tough qquestions and answer them honestly.

For example-

How did you really feel in Australia?Something made you come back,was it the pull of family or was there more to it than that?

If you had work would you feel more optimistic?

If you are prepared to consider a return to oz then why not a move for employment and a better locality within the UK?

Did you really want to come back in the first place or was it more your partners decision?

Presuming you knew this area well before your return,why on earth did you not know how bad unemployment was?

If returning to oz would you live in an area that has many social issues and high unemployment? If not then why do you think this is wise to do in the UK?

If the decision to head back to the UK was your partners idea then a serious question needs to be asked........have you intentionally[maybe subconciously]set yourself up for failure in the hope of reversing the decision and heading back to oz?A tough one,but be honest here.

Had you reinvented yourself in oz and left the old you back at home?If so maybe slotting back to the old ways is a step too far and one you are not comfortable living with.

And most important of all....how does your partner feel,you said we,because at the end of the day this is not your decision alone.

 

You need to figure out what is actually making you so glum because otherwise you will feel defeated before you have even begun.

Good luck with the sou lsearching and I hope things start getting easier for you soon.All the best.

 

top o' the mornin to ye FF!

Wise words indeed, ah to be sure, to be sure.

Anybody would tink ye had a degree in psychology or something like dat!

[Guest famousfive]

and the rest o' the day to yerself to be sure Dom

 

Psychology?......Would that be the same as Codology do ya think?

Ya see Dom,'tis like this.......I come from a place that is called the island of saints and scholars and seein' as we have no hope in the world of pretending we are saints it has become a well known fact that we have become the best in Europe,even the northern hemisphere or dare I say it the world........at pretending we are scholars.....and they call the oirish thickos...ha,ha we have it all sussed really!!!

[Guest guest36762]

and the rest o' the day to yerself to be sure Dom

 

Psychology?......Would that be the same as Codology do ya think?

Ya see Dom,'tis like this.......I come from a place that is called the island of saints and scholars and seein' as we have no hope in the world of pretending we are saints it has become a well known fact that we have become the best in Europe,even the northern hemisphere or dare I say it the world........at pretending we are scholars.....and they call the oirish thickos...ha,ha we have it all sussed really!!!

 

:biglaugh:

[Guest megapixel]

hi all,

just a quick one on heading back to blighty, we arrived back 2 weeks ago, im starting to think its been a big mistake, we headed back after two years in aus, the missing of family ect was the main reason, we went to oz for no reason other than the challenge of somthing new and exiting, i worked for all of the time there and we had some really good friends, however it seemed right to head back (family ilness ect) . after getting back we were in total shock, the unemployment is massive where we live, (was thriving when we left) family were pleased to see us for about a day , its back to normall already, house prices seem to have risen here, freinds are still here, their lives have not changed which is fine because thats a individual choice, however we have changed a lot, we are more independant as a family unit, we no longer need family to dictate our lives any more, and yes the green rolling fields are lovely, but so were the hinterlands of qld, marks and spencer rocks but so does big w. coffee here is shocking and going to the pub involves not taking a piss due to the possibility of being mugged by a 14 year old on coke!!! wine bars have sprung up every where and folks seem to go in and pretend their somthing else due to the fact their in a wine bar, honestly it baffled me when i bumped into some old friends acting like somthing from a flaming reality show, food is cheap as chips here, fuel is through the roof expensive, all people talk about is how crap the govt is, there is no positivity about the place, i spoke to so family friends about the floods and the damage it caused and also the spirit of how people turned up to help out because its about "doing the right thing" , one bloke said how pathetic it was that the govt needed to get the public to help out, i nealy swung for him, but thats the spirit of the uk, no motivation at all, this is only how i see it so dont leap on me, i just want folks to understand that heading back to the uk may not be the right thing to do, we were so exited at the thought of heading back, only two weeks in and were almost broken, one more thing, nothing is free here, the weather is bland and dreary, i read folks banging on about driving through the countryside here for a lovely pub lunch in a beer garden with the kids a watching a fantastic sunset over the hills, reality is cheap microwaved pub food indoors due to the dreary rain with the kids moaning because the beergarden is vandalised and full of vomit and needles, oh and you know that carvery or fish and chips your dying to have when you arrive, well it tastes great but after you have had it you wonder why you missed it, i hope those who are back in blighty are enjoying there time here and not having the fun times im haveing, to those in aus, think before you head back in fact try a holiday before you ship it all back. this is only my opinions so dont bag me to much,

 

Not sure if this is helpful or not, but sounds like you could be suffering from some reverse culture shock (in addition to the shocks you have had about what you didn't expect!). Have a read here and see what you think.

http://www.vagabondish.com/how-to-survive-reverse-culture-shock/

 

I spent a few months back in the UK some years back and really felt like I did not belong. it wasn't a good feeling!

 

I hope things start to look brighter for you. I have no advice from experience yet, as I am in transition and about to go back to the UK in the next few weeks (sold up and left Australia already, due to work relocation). However from expat friends in various countries who have gone back to the UK, I understand it is not an easy transition to make and takes time to settle (or to decide it is not for you).

 

Good luck and thanks for sharing your experience.

 

 

 

 

.

[Guest guest30038]

Sorry to hear of your plight mate.

 

Ignore the inquisition............the usual suspects occasionally take a day off from knocking Oz to indulge in questioning those who are dissatisfied with their UK experiences.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide to do but I'm guessing that you're saving the pennies already.

 

kev

[kernow43]

Sorry to hear of your plight mate.

 

Ignore the inquisition............the usual suspects occasionally take a day off from knocking Oz to indulge in questioning those who are dissatisfied with their UK experiences.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide to do but I'm guessing that you're saving the pennies already.

 

kev

I think it is close to 5 days:jiggy:

[Guest guest30038]

I think it is close to 5 days:jiggy:

 

It wasn't aimed at anyone in particular mate, but as soon as the OP posted about his experiences, he came under a bombardment of questions. I'm sure they were all posed with the best of intent though :wink:

[Paul1Perth]

So during the 2 years in Oz how many times did you go back on holiday. We have been here 8 years and go back every year so we know exactly what awaits us when we move back

 

Why would you do that, no wonder you haven't settled. How do you afford it too, you either must be on fantastic salaries or continually save up from one trip to the next.

Sounds like you never really left.

[Guest Ph0en1x]

Why would you do that, no wonder you haven't settled. How do you afford it too, you either must be on fantastic salaries or continually save up from one trip to the next.

Sounds like you never really left.

 

Yes we are on good salaries, combined total of 220k. We have no family at all here, we go back to see our respective parents that are still alive, to see our children and to see our Grand Children. Who said we haven't settled? after 8 years we have decided that we dont like Australia and it isn't a country that we want to spend any more of our life in.

[Guest nm123]

When I got back from travelling round the world for a year (a few years back now) it took me aaaaaages to settle again. I hated that nothing had changed and some people even said "blimey was that a whole year that you were away for" as if they'd barely noticed the time passing, I hated the weather, I hated having to move back in with my parents and hated having no money or job, I hated the daily grind, I hated the fact that the daily adventure of travelling had been replaced by monotony.

 

Then. I got a job, and we found a nice flat and our focus shifted into rebuilding our life and it turned out to be fun. It took the best part of a year for me to feel happy again and even longer to learn that I hadn't had my fun-peak at 25 and that next few years could also be fun, just in a different way.

 

I think you've got a serious dose of "the grass is always greener" so I would urge you to try to focus on the positives.

 

OH and I are moving back to the UK in September. I'm very excited, OH not so much, so I am very wary of the novelty wearing off pretty quickly. And the town we're moving back to might not be perfect, and isn't as pretty as Sydney, but it is home. And that for sure is where my heart is.

[Guest Ph0en1x]

When I got back from travelling round the world for a year (a few years back now) it took me aaaaaages to settle again. I hated that nothing had changed and some people even said "blimey was that a whole year that you were away for" as if they'd barely noticed the time passing, I hated the weather, I hated having to move back in with my parents and hated having no money or job, I hated the daily grind, I hated the fact that the daily adventure of travelling had been replaced by monotony.

 

Then. I got a job, and we found a nice flat and our focus shifted into rebuilding our life and it turned out to be fun. It took the best part of a year for me to feel happy again and even longer to learn that I hadn't had my fun-peak at 25 and that next few years could also be fun, just in a different way.

 

I think you've got a serious dose of "the grass is always greener" so I would urge you to try to focus on the positives.

 

OH and I are moving back to the UK in September. I'm very excited, OH not so much, so I am very wary of the novelty wearing off pretty quickly. And the town we're moving back to might not be perfect, and isn't as pretty as Sydney, but it is home. And that for sure is where my heart is.

 

Very well put :notworthy: