Guest flick72 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 My 10 YO daughter has recently decided to live with her father so will not be emigrating with me, my husband and two young sons...we are currently looking to hire a migration agent to start the process to move us to Australia but first need to know if my daughter remaining in the uk will hinder us at all or would I need my ex husbands permission to leave the country? any advise would be most appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Welcome to PIO Flick, I cant answer your questions personally but you are bound to receive many replies shortly. Good luck with your future migration. Susie x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 I don't think it would stop you. He can kick up a fuss if you try to take HER out of the country without his permission, but don't think he's got any say over what another adult does. One thing to consider, kids often change their mind. Would her father be ameanable to you having her on the visa and coming out for a holiday to validate, just to give her more options later? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Your ex cannot stop you, But I would agree with RockDr and see if your ex would agree to her being included on your visa and then having a holiday with you on Australia to validate the visa. Then if she decides in 2 years to join or visit you ther would not be a problem with visa's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuju Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 I know you say your 10 year old daughter does not want to come to oz with you now but if she decided to in the future you would need a document signed by your ex to say that she could live outside of the duristriction of England & Wales you would also need this for immigration here in oz too, just so you are aware in case anything changes (ive been through this myself) good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mandi1971 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Hi i did a post on leaving the children behind, you should have a look as there are some great stories on there. http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/dilemmas/106973-leaving-children-behind.html?highlight=leaving+children+behind My daughter is 15 and wanting to stay too. What we have decided to do is apply for her visa with ours, she will come with us to validate her visa then she can return home to finish school and make her own mind up where she wants to be. Kids need to have options as they change there minds like the weather, and plus she has never been away from me so she wont know how hard its going to be and vice versa. You will need your ex.s permission to put her on your visa, but i explained to mine all ive just said to you about giving her options and hes agreed, aslong as she stays and does her gcse's. From what ive learnt on POMS i would try your best to include her now as its so hard to do it at a later date. Good luck with it all xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyt Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 My 10 YO daughter has recently decided to live with her father so will not be emigrating with me, my husband and two young sons...we are currently looking to hire a migration agent to start the process to move us to Australia but first need to know if my daughter remaining in the uk will hinder us at all or would I need my ex husbands permission to leave the country? any advise would be most appreciated. If you dont mind me saying your statement sounds a little harsh. (recently decided and hinder) at 10 years old does she really know her own mind? Speaking as one with a parent who lived overseas whilst growing up, its not something personally I would consider. Teenage girls need their mothers, I'd save my money on the agent and use it to go on nice hoildays as a family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest flick72 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Thank you all very much for your responses and I will definitely consider trying to add her on the visa to cover her options at a later date.if we can:biggrin:...fingers crossed! x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest 47403 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 My 10 YO daughter has recently decided to live with her father so will not be emigrating with me, my husband and two young sons...we are currently looking to hire a migration agent to start the process to move us to Australia but first need to know if my daughter remaining in the uk will hinder us at all or would I need my ex husbands permission to leave the country? any advise would be most appreciated. I'm going to hold my tongue on this one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 I'm going to hold my tongue on this one! Funnily enough so am I... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 I'm going to hold my tongue on this one! I read into Flick's post... "would my daughter remaining in the Uk be problematic for our visa application":wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumpkin Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Funnily enough so am I... Me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Helchops Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 My 10 YO daughter has recently decided to live with her father so will not be emigrating with me, my husband and two young sons...we are currently looking to hire a migration agent to start the process to move us to Australia but first need to know if my daughter remaining in the uk will hinder us at all or would I need my ex husbands permission to leave the country? any advise would be most appreciated. Just read your post and it made me quite sad. I know there are exceptional circumstances where split families need to live miles apart, but the way you worded your post made it sound as though you don't want your daughter to prevent you from living your life, without any reference as to the massive impact not having her mom around will give her. As somebody else said, a ten year old really needs her mom and as her maternal mother, I would seriously think about taking her with you, or not going. You literally may never see your daughter again - ten year olds hold big grudges - and turn into 20 year olds in just five short visits (at once very two years). Finally, if your two sons are with your new husband, your daughter will probably feel totally pushed out and that you're starting again, with her as baggage. I don't know whether this is the situation, but it does sound like it. I hope I haven't offended anyone by commenting, just feel strongly about it having a daughter myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mandi1971 Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 I'd just like to add that my daughter will be almost 17 and is staying to do her gcse's and a levels. Leaving her is going to kill me but she's almost an adult. At ten,she wouldn't get to make that decision,if I had permission from her dad I'd go and do everything to make the move a happy one for her,if he said no,I'd fight him or stay till she was older. Mandi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 If you add your daughter to your visa you will need your ex's permission. If your daughter is to remain in the UK she will still need a medical as a non migrating child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest flick72 Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 Admittedly poor choice of wording! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annagilda Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 I'm going to hold my tongue on this one! Hmmm, I thought the same, but we never know people's personal circumstances. While i don't agree, or whatever, there could be a whole host of reasons why things have worked out the way they have. Good luck with it all, but yeah. Make sure everyone is sure they know what they want to do, and EVERYONE, Yourself included, has options if you decide to change your mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metoo Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 My daughter was 10 yrs old (same age as yours) when her father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. She is now 17 and is still grieving for the loss of her dad. You can not imagine the impact that the loss of a parent can have on a child so young until it happens. I worry that by leaving your daughter and travelling so far away you would be causing her more damage than you can ever imagine. In our case we did not have a choice, but you have the luxury of choosing. Please be very careful in what you decide to do. Children are not posessions that can be passed around for convenience sake. We will be leaving my two adult children behind (27 and 25 yrs) that will be hard enough but never would I consider leaving a ten yr old. I wish you well and hope you can find a happy solution but at the very least, like others have said, please include her in your visa then at least you can keep her options open. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coxy04 Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Hi, thought i would just add to this thread our experiences. Family consists of 23, 19, 16, 6 and 4 yr olds, plus hubby and me. The decision for us to emigrate came from me and hubby, big shock to older children. Our 19 yr old has oz passport/ citizenship as she was born out there, but the rest of us have gone on visa application. None of 3 older children have contact with father, bar odd christmas and b'day card hand delivered and odd email. When we applied for visa, we put 16 yr old on it, to give her options, and although we had to name her father at no point have we had to get permission from him for her to leave the country (i'm not sure of cut off age for parental permission). The 3 older ones are leaving options open, but we will all validate so they do have options in future. They are fickle, because their life as it has been, is all they know, and they do change their minds....we have had priods of time where they're all champing at the bit to get out of UK, but right now, they just want to see how things go and leave options open. As a parent, of course we want them all with us, but we are realistic that they will do what they want to do, and if that means staying here, that will be their choice as they will always have a home with us if they want one. At the moment, their father does not know we are going, i have no responsibility to him to let him know about my migrating as we are divorced. The children are all old enough to make their choices and they wish to tell him when they are ready and when they have made their choices. We are validating in feb, and moving for good in July 2013. The time cannot come round fast enough (we are waiting for 16 yr old to do A levels in UK, again so she has choices and options, and for 19 yr old to settle into Uni and get 2 yrs under her belt before we go). It's never easy, people will always have their opinions, but we all make the choices we feel are the right ones. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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