Guest lindar Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Hi everyone Now the practical advice is out of the way (see thread called 'Practical advice if you have not set off yet').....how has it been emotionally ? I thought hard about doing this post as where do you begin ? But seeing as the purpose of the Forum is to help other people, I will try and highlight things that others may experience or be feeling instead of making it too personal to my own situation. The decision to come back was easily made - Perth, whilst a beautiful environment if you are a sun and beach person, never touched my soul. I was constantly returning home and having those wrenching goodbyes when returning to Oz= all becomes just too exhausting! We have no kids but we did have good jobs and a great lifestyle that you are all familiar with.....but there was no nipping round to Mums for a cuppa...and all those landmark occasions that I constantly missed - family described it when I got back as 'there was always an empty chair'. Don't understimate how much family n friends miss you all too! Leaving Oz was a teary time saying goodbyes to many special people - that is never easy. Landing back, I did not do cartwheels as I felt very overwhelmed and a bit adrift with it all and I struggled getting my head around 'setting up' a life again after just 'packing one up'!(no house, no car, no job etc) Also I had some quite emotional days when I first got back as family n friends really rallied round and I realised just how much family stuff I had missed out on and you have to somehow get over that and acknowledge that the huge effort it took to pack up that life in Oz and start again here is now more than richly rewarded with the fact that there will be no more empty chairs and that is a priceless feeling. Always keep in mind when it all seems too much that you have done this because you were not completely happy with the life down under. Brill to have experienced it but now time for the next chapter which will be rich and full as we indeed still have the most beautiful country here. Do not entertain the 'why on earth have you come back here' brigade - they will never understand so not worth effort of trying to explain. Remember they have lived through some pretty rough times here and so cannot understand that we are coming back to it but we have not lived through it so are not down by it. Plus we see things much differently as we can appreciate the simple stuff they take for granted - like green hills, running woodland streams and land we can roam on with our dogs! Sadie the springer has discovered rabbits and is fitter than she has ever been! Our lives are so full now even though we are far from fully settled (still renting pending house purchase so not unpacked everything yet ) -but there is so much more choice of places to go and people to keep catching up with We have both found work and although we wont be as well off financially as we were in Oz we are richer in love and life being surrounded by our wonderful families and friends and exploring our homeland again. Yes, the soul is soothed! I could go on and on but I hope this has helped..... I am happy to fill in any gaps for anyone on any topic in particular (yes of course I have had some 'what the' days but not many!)....just ask and I will be honest To all of you who are on your way - good luck , you have been missed by many and get ready to explore!:wink:
gilliantay Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 To all of you who are on your way - good luck , you have been missed by many and get ready to explore!:wink: Just reading this after having had one of those early morning phone calls from the northern hemisphere............................... You know the ones where you hear the phone ringing and your heart misses a few beats......... We are now into our 3rd year here............................................... back to the UK in the 1st year as FIL died suddenly (contigency fund used up) back to the UK in the 2nd year as 1st grandchild arrives Now we are into our 3rd year and are moving back to the UK in a few weeks ..........................another family member is ill.............................. Yes.............. so true.......................... as per the telephone call, we have been missed..................................
Guest lindar Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Exactly! Didnt go into that in my post but same thing has happened to us on too many occasions and I just wasnt prepared to hang around for more of 'those calls' I have just took Mum out for tea tonight and I can see she is getting older in front of me and I am so relieved to be here and spending precious time with her....no amount of sunshine can make up for that - if you feel deeply like you do then you are absolutely doing the right thing..family is about sharing the sadness load as well as the joy - good luck
gilliantay Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 When you read the posts.........................."Oh, as a family, we are not that close"...... People should never underestimate the ties/bindings of a family............... But then again, it takes moving away to fully appreciate what 'family' is............. Enjoy your time with your family, hoping that everything goes well for you.
Conniebygaslight Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 When you read the posts.........................."Oh, as a family, we are not that close"...... People should never underestimate the ties/bindings of a family............... But then again, it takes moving away to fully appreciate what 'family' is............. Enjoy your time with your family, hoping that everything goes well for you. I would also like to add that some of us return purely because we really didn't like Australia...our reason to return had nothing to do with family (we have none here).
Quoll Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Good to hear that you have settled happily into the next step of your life and are having a good time. It is amazing just how much there is to enjoy in UK in such a small space - there is so much variety and the bonus of having family around you is priceless! Good luck with the rest of it!
Dawny Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 So pleased to hear you are now settling down, and enjoying your time back in the uk, Im sure you will feel much more comfortable with things once you are settled into your new home with all your belongings around you!! Have fun re-exploring who knows what little treasure you will find that you had never seen before x
gilliantay Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I would also like to add that some of us return purely because we really didn't like Australia...our reason to return had nothing to do with family (we have none here). So true.....................................I am a firm believer that you know pretty quickly if this place is going to work for you or not.
nicolalouise Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Hi just wanted to say thankyou so much for your comments, After reading your post it has put my mind and heart at ease about my return to the Uk after an emotional rollercoaster 11 months enduring cyclone yasi, floods, corrupt estate agents just to name a few. My heart has ached for my life back home since moving to Townsville Qld and have been told by all I speak to that it will get easier just stick it out. I felt so confused and gulity for not settling causing my family another big move in 11 months, Financial burden of relocasion costs and family upset we didnt give it "A good go" Again thanks for the clarity! been hard to find :confused::smile:
nicolalouise Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Hi just wanted to say thankyou so much for your comments, After reading your post it has put my mind and heart at ease about my return to the Uk after an emotional rollercoaster 11 months enduring cyclone yasi, floods, corrupt estate agents just to name a few. My heart has ached for my life back home since moving to Townsville Qld and have been told by all I speak to that it will get easier just stick it out. I felt so confused and gulity for not settling causing my family another big move in 11 months, Financial burden of relocasion costs and family upset we didnt give it "A good go" Again thanks for the clarity! been hard to find :confused::smile: Ha Sorry new to this site this reply is for Lindar
Guest chris955 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Virtually all my family are here in Australia so family ties are of little importance to me as far as reasons to return to the UK. My wife has no parents or siblings in the UK either. I would also like to add that some of us return purely because we really didn't like Australia...our reason to return had nothing to do with family (we have none here).
Lynne S Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Hi Lindar, Just wanted say thank you very much for writing this thread and also the emotional one - it has been a really comforting read. We have been in Australia 3.5yrs (3yr in Vic & 6mth in Perth) we thought a move to Perth would help, but it hasn't at all, in fact its made it worse in a way, have been agonising over the decision to move back now for a couple of months and its been awful, as we will have to uproot our sons again. Feeling sick most days over it - just booked our tickets for the 6th July - so no going back now! But your post was very positive, both for people returning and coming out from the UK. Just because your going back, I don't think it means you don't like Australia, I think its just not for some people long term. I come from a large close family and after the initial 6month honeymoon period, I started to miss them terribly and that has only got worse over the years, although you do learn to live with it - you have too. When I read that you had taken your mum out for tea, I felt the tears stinging - thats priceless! Anyway all the best for the next chapter in your lives. Thanks again for taking the time to write this, I'm sure it will help alot of people. Lynne S:rolleyes:
Guest mozziebite Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 "Do not entertain the 'why on earth have you come back here' brigade - they will never understand so not worth effort of trying to explain. Remember they have lived through some pretty rough times here and so cannot understand that we are coming back to it but we have not lived through it so are not down by it. Plus we see things much differently as we can appreciate the simple stuff they take for granted - like green hills, running woodland streams and land we can roam on with our dogs! " I must admit I found this a difficult one to answer, still do, and everyone says it if they find out you have lived in Aus. It still makes me inwardly cringe and feel a bit of a failure when I am having an off day! Sometimes I wished it had worked out but you can't help the way you feel and as you say the pull of families, friends and your roots was far stronger than I thought it would be, it took the wind out of my sails, and its not nice feeling depressed, especially when you are living there and the sun is shining and people back home and in Aus are saying 'you haven't given it long enough' and you just pine for home.....
bloomersthebear Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Going home end of the year after 5 years. Leaving my wife and 3 daughters to begin with, making sure its really what we should do. A big decision for me to have to make based on my return, but thats the way they wanted it. 4-5 month trial. Not sure its going to work mind you if Im missing them to much. Only time will tell. My job is having me back. And things with my family a bit ropey since we went back for my sisters wedding in 2009. So a patch up is in order of sorts. I do hope it works out. Anyway thanks for the encouraging post.
andyperiam Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 We are very close to making the final decision on whether to return or not. I think the only thing at this stage that may make me stay is that I want to be as sure as possible that my kids will be OK at a UK public school, they are 9 and 7 and the 9 year boy old struggles currently at school with his reading, Maths etc... so I am worried he will not fit in or be even further behind when he moves to the UK.
Guest chris955 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 The interesting thing is that we feel our kids arent 'pushed' enough at school, the teaching just seems lax and we are hoping that a UK school will actually bring out their full potential.
sunni1234 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 We are very close to making the final decision on whether to return or not. I think the only thing at this stage that may make me stay is that I want to be as sure as possible that my kids will be OK at a UK public school, they are 9 and 7 and the 9 year boy old struggles currently at school with his reading, Maths etc... so I am worried he will not fit in or be even further behind when he moves to the UK. I think this is a very important point. We are concerned about our children when we return. The school they attend here in OZ is a lovely school - but do not tend to focus as much on the academic side of things. Wish it was more balanced. We have family/friends with the same aged kids in the uk - the work they are doing now, my kids would struggle with. Apparently it is all supposed to balance out when they are in HS. We have decided to go back for a number of reasons, but returning now while our children are still primary age will give them the earliest opportunity to catch up. I would rather do it now then wait, as they may struggle even more by delaying our return. These are my thoughts. best wishes sunni
andyperiam Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Agree, I keep telling myself that if required we can get assistance with his learning after school hours and all will be good. Everyone says that young children can adapt far better that adults can.
sunni1234 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Perhaps contact the school (if you know where your heading to) and have a discussion about resources, what help is available. We have done this. sunni
Guest chris955 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 We have several friends here that have after hours tutors for their kids, the feeling seems to be that if kids fall behind they get left behind to a degree.
Guest Guest 47403 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Unfortunately that is definately the case in the UK the more academic students will get pushed far more than those struggling who tend to get left behind, you have to remember some kids just are not as academic as others. But after school tutors are an option here too but expensive for a good one.
Guest famousfive Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Just a suggestion for those of you concerned about your kids transition into the UK education system on your return home.We are returning to Ireland with three kids at the end of the year and have started doing online learning with them through one of the irish education websites.The one we use is the official education department website and means they are doing lessons and projects to the same level as irish kids their age.We also got some website recommendations from the school they will attend.The school post the homework sheets online for it's students and they have given us access to this also. The same could be done using UK educational websites i'm sure.
menlow4 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 In response to andy's post I hope that this will help. I have taught in both UK and Australian primary schools. In both systems teachers are required to identify children in 'need of further support' and provide this for them. Such children can be identified through testing and observation. In my case, if a child is below their chronological age in reading or spelling, or if they below the benchmark in National testing, then they should have IEP's (Individual Education Plans). After identifying the core problems, specific work can be prepared for them. In the Uk this was done by a designated special needs teacher and children were given further support in small groups. When it does come to returning to the UK, ask the school for any test results or observations etc to show the new school in the Uk. While working in Australia, I have found that children who come into my class from the UK are usually very intelligent and 'mature' in their outlook. Perhaps this is because they have come from 'professional' families and also because of the huge experience of moving to the other side of the world. Who knows. I am sure that your children will be fine in the Uk. What an experience they would have had living in a different country. You will all be surrounded by family also which is a huge emotional bonus. I would like to say that working in Austalia (WA) has been a massive learning curve for me and I have learned alot. I am hoping that with the arrival of the National Curriculum, things will settle down a bit as it has been all change since I arrived in 2005! My first week was a bit like 'Ok what do I teach then?' Good luck for the future and if you want any further information from me then I would be more that happy to help.
sunni1234 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I am friends with a mom at school whose child has been identified as requiring extra support. Unfortunatley there are limited resources within the school to met the extra support. As a result the parents pay for private extra tutuion, within school hours. Not sure if this is a common issues in WA or just this particular school. It is the first time i have come across parents paying for tutiution while actually in school time. This is a state school. sunni
Billysgirl Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Hi Lindar, Just wanted say thank you very much for writing this thread and also the emotional one - it has been a really comforting read. We have been in Australia 3.5yrs (3yr in Vic & 6mth in Perth) we thought a move to Perth would help, but it hasn't at all, in fact its made it worse in a way, have been agonising over the decision to move back now for a couple of months and its been awful, as we will have to uproot our sons again. Feeling sick most days over it - just booked our tickets for the 6th July - so no going back now! But your post was very positive, both for people returning and coming out from the UK. Just because your going back, I don't think it means you don't like Australia, I think its just not for some people long term. I come from a large close family and after the initial 6month honeymoon period, I started to miss them terribly and that has only got worse over the years, although you do learn to live with it - you have too. When I read that you had taken your mum out for tea, I felt the tears stinging - thats priceless! Anyway all the best for the next chapter in your lives. Thanks again for taking the time to write this, I'm sure it will help alot of people. Lynne S:rolleyes: Can't believe I have just read your quote. We too are leaving Perth beginning July after 5 years and have exactly same feelings as you have described. Have bottled up feelings for so long, just had good cry thinking about taking my mum out for tea!! Killed me taking kids out of school and leaving all their friends, feel worse for them than for me and hubby, but they are looking forward to going back to Grandma's and Grandad's, so what is the right thing to do?? Have loved our time in Oz but there has been a massive gap which we just cannot fill. Not prepared to wait for that awful phone call. Good luck with your move, hope all goes well x
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