getting cold feet, what should we do

[the raes]

my OH has started to get cold feet, we started the prosses in feb, got agent,sent TRA skills assesment passed, then applied to SA waiting they got doc on 18th april so should get news soon, agent has just sent us visa doc to check and fees request. i think he got a reality check, dont know what to do, dont want to spend all this money and not go. he realy wants to go but is worried that i will not likeit and our son will not like it, he pulled out of going about a year ago he had a company sponser on 457 but could not go through with it. so this is round 2 for me. why is it so hard for him:arghh:

any advice would be great.

 

pauline 37,david 38,callum 8

[karen79]

Its now or never, right?? Only my point of view, but would think it would be soul destroying to decide in two or three years, maybe? or, what if we had? And for some reason it be too late or not possible then, or even harder than at present.. Would you rather not regret the things you did do, than the things you did not? Its a major move yes, but it is not the path of no return.. Thats the way we are viewing it anyway. Whatever those feelings of- there must be something more/dissatisfaction with life in the UK were at the start when the thought of trying a new life came about, surely you must keep them in the forefront of your minds now, and re-evaluate the pros and cons. It is a very short little life we get, and there is a big wide world out there, thats my view anyway..:smile:

[the raes]

thanks karen

you are so right, are you in oz yet or when are you going, cant make up my mind to sell house or rent, due to what if?, its such a big move.

thanks pauline

[Dawny]

My o/h was exactly the same! Oz was his dream, something he had wanted to do for many years, every hurdle we came too he was full of excitement, Then he would doubt his decision and what he was asking us to do! We did sit down and discuss this at some length, and decided jointly that if anyone in the family really couldn't settle, we would return home, nothing has to be set in stone! My o/h and i loved oz, it was our youngest two that pulled at our heart strings to return!, Nothing has to be for ever, :wubclub: x

[Guest guest30085]

my OH has started to get cold feet, we started the prosses in feb, got agent,sent TRA skills assesment passed, then applied to SA waiting they got doc on 18th april so should get news soon, agent has just sent us visa doc to check and fees request. i think he got a reality check, dont know what to do, dont want to spend all this money and not go. he realy wants to go but is worried that i will not likeit and our son will not like it, he pulled out of going about a year ago he had a company sponser on 457 but could not go through with it. so this is round 2 for me. why is it so hard for him:arghh:

any advice would be great.

 

pauline 37,david 38,callum 8

 

Hi Pauline

 

If you get the state sponsorship and then get your 176 visa application in, then you could have a wait until it is finalised, then you only have to validate within 12 months, and then you would still have upto 5 years from the visa grant date to actually move over. This will give you a lot of thinking time.

 

I would be following it through, I understand its a lot of money to part with if you are having (or OH) having doubts, but at least this would give you the option. Rather than withdrawing and maybe finding in the future you may not be eligible for the visa again and having your decision taken away from you?

 

Good luck :hug:

[gaz n family]

I can sort of know how he is feeling.

 

For the last two years its been all guns blazing to get our visa. That we now have and have set a date to move with our departure date mid July. OMG as the day is getting closer i am really getting those last minute nerves, what if, and are we doing the right thing?

 

I guess its very normal to have these feelings, but boy have we both lost some sleep in our house, sitting up in bed talking about it.

 

In our situation we are still going, we are in agreement that we will all give it at least two years before we give it up (assuming we dont settle). But we both want to go, in your situation i guess its a little harder. Can you not do simular to us, agree a time in which you will agree to give it up and come back if it doesnt work out.

 

Best of luck

[saz71]

Hi Pauline

 

If you get the state sponsorship and then get your 176 visa application in, then you could have a wait until it is finalised, then you only have to validate within 12 months, and then you would still have upto 5 years from the visa grant date to actually move over. This will give you a lot of thinking time.

 

I would be following it through, I understand its a lot of money to part with if you are having (or OH) having doubts, but at least this would give you the option. Rather than withdrawing and maybe finding in the future you may not be eligible for the visa again and having your decision taken away from you?

 

Good luck :hug:

 

This is what we are doing - we both really want to go but do worry sometimes about making the move and leaving family in particular as we have a 4 year old. But this is our last chance to apply for PR due to the immigration changes in July so we're going for it on the proviso that if and when we go to Oz we keep our house in the UK and don't rush into it, ie go in 4-5 years time.

[Guest Mallam]

Don't get me wrong i think it is easier for a women to make thye move as the man normally is the breadwinner and looks after the family, he is just worried I expect that he will not be able to provide the same standard of living you have in the UK, it is normal.

Hope you make a go of it though.

[Quoll]

If you have a belt and braces approach it should be OK - get a career break if you can so you arent jobless, rent out the house etc also try and get a job before you arrive and, if you cant do that, then bring over a lot of money to see you through the first 6 months just in case.

 

If you have a great life where you are (nice house, good area, good job, good social network) then you do really need to think about how much of that you are prepared to gamble and lose if things dont work out.

 

I tend to disagree with Mallam - I think women do it tougher once they get here. The blokes are usually out working and connecting with people socially. The women, unless they are working, tend to struggle socially for a while and if they are used to a wide support network from extended family then the self sufficiency they need can be lacking. However, I agree that the chaps probably do have it harder to contemplate the move because they will be jolting themselves out of their comfort zone workwise and will have to be out there competing in the market again. I dont think women realize quite just how self sufficient and selfish they are going to have to be to make a go of it on the other side of the world.

[the raes]

HI

thanks everyone for your advice, our friend has just came back from perth and they say very exspensive, dose any one know what is a comfortable amount you need as a salary ,

 

thanks pauline