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dont tell all your friends to visit you when you emigrate... you may regret it!

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now I know we should be grateful to welcome with open arms to all our friends and family arriving from the UK to visit us for holidays now that we have moved down under..........but seriously, we have had a constant stream since december last year. Has anyone else been subjected to this? don't get me wrong its lovely to see them all come (and go) but it costs a fortune, they borrow your car, they moan about the price of everything and eat all your food!! It's driving me crackers :arghh:............ i just want some PEACE AND QUIET!! ..........now I feel really guilty for saying that, especially when they have paid a fortune to come and see us :wacko:

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Guest Andy
now I know we should be grateful to welcome with open arms to all our friends and family arriving from the UK to visit us for holidays now that we have moved down under..........but seriously, we have had a constant stream since december last year. Has anyone else been subjected to this? don't get me wrong its lovely to see them all come (and go) but it costs a fortune, they borrow your car, they moan about the price of everything and eat all your food!! It's driving me crackers :arghh:............ i just want some PEACE AND QUIET!! ..........now I feel really guilty for saying that, especially when they have paid a fortune to come and see us :wacko:

It sounds as if some of your friends and family might be taking advantage of you, its a bit of a cheek staying with you and then moaning about how expensive everything is:mad:. Tell the next lot that you want them to contribute to the food bill etc, its only fair.

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Guest

yes I know I should Andy but I find it impossible when they are family... my mum said that she wasnt going to spend anymore money considering how much she had already spent on her flights. I dont think she meant to be mean and offered to only eat salads!! but not practical when I am cooking for my family anyway and seriously, how mean would I be if I let her just sit and eat salad whilst we all eat something else..... it wasnt just the cost of stuff, it was the moaning about their jet lag etc.... I love em but when they come and stay for 6 weeks.... it's hard. The good news is that time never stands still and eventually they go home..... ouch, that was a bad bad thing for me to say!!

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Guest Andy
yes I know I should Andy but I find it impossible when they are family... my mum said that she wasnt going to spend anymore money considering how much she had already spent on her flights. I dont think she meant to be mean and offered to only eat salads!! but not practical when I am cooking for my family anyway and seriously, how mean would I be if I let her just sit and eat salad whilst we all eat something else..... it wasnt just the cost of stuff, it was the moaning about their jet lag etc.... I love em but when they come and stay for 6 weeks.... it's hard. The good news is that time never stands still and eventually they go home..... ouch, that was a bad bad thing for me to say!!

Moaning about the jet lag? They had SIX bloody weeks to get over it :shocked::biggrin:

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Had my bro and his mrs albeit they are over 60`s and do fookin cruises , in Wa pay for your water and we are in drought showers 2 to 3 times a day for forks sake , shower to go to the beach no on , our lass ferried em round for 2 weeks( i could not get time off work) put 20 bucks to the petrol .paid nob all hes reet tight tho she moaned about forkin everything , bah


Here at last:jiggy:

SUFC life not a pastime

I limit myself to 2 drinks a day, I`m now 10 years in front make that 15

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This is a problem and I guess you have to be cruel to be kind really. It does cost a lot to put people up.

 

What to do, get a smaller house, have more children. :laugh:

 

 

A guy my husband worked with had people all the time and he had been here for yonks so it does not stop. He even had friends of friends etc.

 

My mother in law had it in UK as well with her brother's kids from Aus.


Petals

:ssign15:taking no prisoners :wink:

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Guest siamsusie

Hi Jojo,

The price of flights are miniscule in comparison to Oz-Europe.

There is nothing stopping them going to the Butchers and buying up for your freezer.

You borrow a car... you fill it to them brim on its return.

People have to realise that air con costs money.

You buy your own grog.

 

Its always a difficult one having friends and family over. We dont have many house rules , its good to make people feel comfortable.. we give a set of house and car keys and off they go.

People are welcome to eat and drink off us, but when the beer runs out, just refill please, its common courtesy.

Some people actually dont know how to react staying with others, so a gentle guideline/nudge from you in the future could ensure for a happy visit.

 

Susie x

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Maybe those who have lots of visitors need to get their heads together and make a list of rules of the house, have it framed and hang in a prominent position. This way they will know right away how to behave as a guest.


Petals

:ssign15:taking no prisoners :wink:

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Guest SusieOR

I think what would be a great idea would be for 5 or 6 families to all put together & buy a holiday house together...

 

then when anyone comes over for a visit the guests could stay in there... buying their own food & car & petrol etc etc etc

 

Not have visitors in your house...

 

having said that, I havent made the move yet, in fact, I was on the other end of this last year when I went out to visit friends in Port Kennedy!!! Although I have to say, we bought loads of food & paid for shopping & rented our own car & even went off (SOR) for a few days to give everyone a break!!! LOL...

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Guest Guest31881

Well, i have had a couple of friends "offer" to visit us, i tell them they are most welcome to visit. All they need to do when they arrive in Brisbane is to Hire a car and drive 4.5 hours west into the real Australia, till they find us.

 

Funny thing is they look our location up on Google earth and no one has taken me up on the offer yet:wink:. I think its to far to the beaches :biglaugh:

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I think friends should definately contribute.

If it was my mum though I wouldn't expect her to, given she fed and looked after me for about 20 years.


I want it all, and I want it now.

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Well, i have had a couple of friends "offer" to visit us, i tell them they are most welcome to visit. All they need to do when they arrive in Brisbane is to Hire a car and drive 4.5 hours west into the real Australia, till they find us.

 

Funny thing is they look our location up on Google earth and no one has taken me up on the offer yet:wink:. I think its to far to the beaches :biglaugh:

 

:biggrin: probably be a more interesting and different experience visiting you than most of the rest of us...guess not everyone is after "interesting" :laugh:

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Years ago when mum went for a visit back to the UK, some distant Uncle she met (who strangely enough came to be known as Uncle Buck:laugh:) asked if he could come over for a visit - a few months later, bingo, there he was on the doorstep. He drove us all crazy, hogging the TV and the pool, and stayed for 3 months. He never paid for anything, until Dad finally nudged him to return to England, and we never saw him again. Recently while I was researching some family history a lady contacted me and asked me if I had ever met any of the family who were based in Hornchurch, and I immediately knew - "Uncle Buck" !Most of our other relatives have never been over ("too far") so we've only had that one person. My friend has had lots of problems with relatives over though - to the point where she has actually stopped some of them who are not immediate family members. This lady's 'best friend' and daughter came over, moaned the whole time about how Melbourne was too cold in June, they hardly went anywhere because 'the roads were too big and daunting" and they flew off home never to contact her again. Don't think they liked Australia (never saw any of it, but never mind, :wacko:).


If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

John Quincy Adams

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When I visited my best friend in Florida for thanksgiving a little while ago, I put food in her pantry, and paid for us all to get into some of the sightseeing places, and then when I left I did the most important thing of all - I gave her a coffee gift card for her favourite coffee chain which would have kept her in coffee for eons:yes:which she didn't expect and loved.

I also said to her, which I think is important, that due to the fact that she had seen a lot of the sights, I didn't expect her to keep going there, so said I would go off and look after myself on some days while she went to work - I didn't want her to feel obliged to take me everywhere, which can cause some problems with some people visiting. Get a map and/or a car/public transport is the best thing !


If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

John Quincy Adams

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Guest

thanks for your advice guys........ am thinking that I am just a miserable old wotsit who would rather not have any visitors....... ha! my 3 kids, our social life and all that is perfect for me....... I really find the catering every night a chore ..... and laying up the big table out in the alfresco, the making puddings and making sure my kids manners are appropriate at all times a stress ...... even when visitors offer to help clean up after - its usually half hearted etc........plus has anyone noticed that they stay up so late and get up late in the morning too (coz their on holiday) but that lifestyle doesnt fit in with us so if we want to get up and out on a saturday morning to take them sightseeing etc.... we often dont get out the door til late morning/lunch time..........oh gawd, i'm bored of moaning.... worse things happen in life jo jo ....... get on with it and quit moaning!

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Guest

Whenever we go visit we always pay our way with stuff. Last year when we were back in Aus and stayed with my MIL we bought most of our own food, drink and put petrol in the car when we used it. I'd never expect my MIL to have to feed 3 of us day in day out for a month :err:

 

When she comes over to stay with us I do the food shopping as normal and include her into it all. However, she will often go shopping and buy food for a meal and cook for us all. And that's fine with me, she likes to contribute toward it I'd rather that way than having money pressed into my hand each week. Same with fuel, she chips in on trips out etc.

 

Other family visiting from Aus we've not worried overly but they have all brought some food and drinks etc, or taken the family out for a meal and paid.

 

This summer we will have Aussie family here for over 6 weeks total and I know the food bill will be high as for a few weeks we'll have 3 extra people staying. But I am sure they'll contribute to the food shop and offer to prepare a few meals which is enough for me. Also they'll hire their own car so won't be reliant on using ours.

 

When we move over to Aus next year I know we'll have some visitors from the UK but I always do the two/three week rule (unless its my parents). People are welcome but they need to make arrangements to have more of a holiday than staying with us the entire time. And to chip in. And we can't always promise to be around each day so they need to make their own entertainment and plan trips out etc.

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Guest jackie Macdonald

The perfect solution is to reside in a place that hasn't got a spare bedroom. You'll find the ones that are genuinely happy to visit you don't want to live in your pockets or expect you to pay for and entertain them 24/7. Admittedly this is harder if a relative or friend is coming on their own but if it is a couple they shouldn't expect you to 'put them up everytime'. We all know how expensive living costs are and visitors should respect this.

 

I am one of the lucky ones and very fortunate in that my mother and in laws are very aware of this and have in the past made every effort to help us all out. Hence, we will be happy to put them up, when I finally get back there.

 

Having said that, I agree it is a difficult one!

 

J xxx

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We havent even got our visa yet & all we get from our friends & family (oh & some people we barely know) is "a nice cheap holiday for us"!!!!!. Ive started telling people we wont be putting them up & they will have to stay in a hotel lol. It costs enough to feed my own family let alone others. I think you need to start charging rent when they stay. :wink:


Danny 33 (gen.Elec), Sharon 37, Ria 11, Mace 8, Riley 3. 176 visa. Vet.passed Feb 09, house sold feb 09, SS app received Apr 09, App lodged june 09, SS approved Oct 09,C.O assigned feb 11, Meds/Pc's done march 11 referred for more tests on youngest son.

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Just as an alternative point of view, I really wish some of our friends who said they'd come and visit would actually do so! Our family have all been over (great visitors, always pay their way, no hassle) but all the so-called friends who I thought would visit, suddenly find it's too expensive to fly out to us (even though I'd be HAPPY to provide free board and lodging for them while they're here!)

 

So many times I find myself thinking "Oh, I'd love to show so-and-so this" but can't see it ever happening. And these were people I thought were my best friends in the UK!!!

 

We're going back to the UK for a visit in July (our 2nd trip back since leaving 7 years ago) and to tell the truth, I'm allocating one day to catch up with them all, that's all. Got better things to do with my holiday time than spend it with people who won't make an effort to come see me!!


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Hi all,

 

I think that's its great that people visit but we were told that when we finally get to oz to not have anyone visit for at least 6 months or even better a year. The theory being that if you are constantly having guest's you wont make new friends in Oz, you will alwys be thinking well no point putting my self out there to make new friends when whoever is coming for a couple of months. I can see the point, why make new freinds when you have a constant stream of old ones visiting?

 

Also the cost is an issue, we have told the people that say they will visit that we can't really be taking much time off work the entertain them so they should plan a bit of a trip up or down the coast,hence getting them out of our house. I also can not imagine having the mother in law living with me for 3 months, 2 hours is normally my limit!

 

Good luck all those with guest's.

 

Tina Family of five.


WDU filmed 06/07.09, Job offer recevied. AQF III for shoemaker awarded 26.01.12. TRA successful 01.06.12. Qualified as a midwife 23.09.12. 457 Grant 29.01.13 Arrived Brisbane 23.04.13. ENS 186 apllied 16.03.14..

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