Jump to content

You're currently viewing the forum as a Guest
register-now-button_orig.png
and join in with discussions   
ask migration questions
message other members

..and much much more!

Guest katiegriffiths

Husband wants to move to oz!!!!

Recommended Posts

Guest katiegriffiths

hello

 

my husband really wants to move to australia, hes been wanting to for many years...we have two children a four year old and a 1 year old!! im in two minds on going? i would like to move house but to move around the world is a different matter!!

im concerned if i decided to go ahead with it i will regret moving,, as i dont want to take my kids from their gran parents!!! my kids are the only gran kids they have and it will break their hearts if i was to take them away...but i do want to make my husband happy! i feel like im the reason why hes so unhappy living in wales...uk and that i need to make it up to him!!?!?

im 25 and my husband is 31 he is a tool maker...engineer and i work in a care home! so i know we prob get in...what to do????

please help...............is it a better life for the kids as i hear!?!?!!?

 

thank you

katie x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest siamsusie

I think the long and tall of it is you both have to want this experience.

 

Yes this is the hardest part of migrating, being torn away from your friends and family.

 

I dont believe that either country is better or worse off for children. A loving and secure family is all that is required.

 

There are some stringent laws on removing your child from Australia if one parent chooses to return/remain, so that is worthwhile reading.

 

I adore living here and have very few negatives but this is something you do with 100% heart in it as a family or not at all.

 

Good luck

 

Susie x

 

 

 

http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/news-gossip-chat/47091-children-what-happens-if-you-your-partner-decide-go-home.html

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest katiegriffiths

thank you so much

 

im just concerened that we cant afford to live out there...and if am honest there is nothing here where i live at the mo if u want a nice day out you have to drive and then that cost diesel and thats not cheap at all!!! is it cheaper living in oz...where would i find these things out please!!?!

thank you

katie x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest The Ropey HOFF

Hi katie

 

the cost of living is almost identical in both countries as long as you get wages at approximately $2.2 to £1, which is based on average wages in both countries, ignore the exchange rate. Also once you are there, you have so many things you can do outdoors with young kids and........... they are free.

It is a tough decision emigrating and only you can decide, best of luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thank you so much

 

im just concerened that we cant afford to live out there...and if am honest there is nothing here where i live at the mo if u want a nice day out you have to drive and then that cost diesel and thats not cheap at all!!! is it cheaper living in oz...where would i find these things out please!!?!

thank you

katie x

 

It is something that you really need to do as a team. Have you been before? Maybe a reccie would be perfect for you to start with. I would also write down you biggest concerns & research them online or via a reccie. Your concerns about grandparents need to be discussed with your husband. I don't think it can work long term if one partner is going to make the other happy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi

I agree with the other posters in that you both need to be 101% behind the move.

 

We came 41/2 years ago and havent looked back yet. Leaving parents and friends was hard and i worried about the kids being without grandparents to but as selfish as it may sound you sometimes have to do whats best for YOU and YOUR family and im sure your parents would understand this in the long run.

 

The first year of your new life here will more than likely be a tough one,, its really hard leaving everything you know behind and moving to somewhere alien,, but if you dig in your heels and don't fall and retreat at the first hurdle life sure can be great out here.

 

As for diesel its gone up here to,, its approx $1.50 litre around where i live now but you can have such a great day out here for nothing other than a picnic and fuel it all evens itself out.

 

Lots of luck with whatever you decide

 

Cal x


If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place...

If you get a chance,take it, If it changes your life,let it. Nobody said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest siamsusie
thank you so much

 

im just concerened that we cant afford to live out there...and if am honest there is nothing here where i live at the mo if u want a nice day out you have to drive and then that cost diesel and thats not cheap at all!!! is it cheaper living in oz...where would i find these things out please!!?!

thank you

katie x

 

 

I forgot to welcome you to PIO Kate:hug:,

 

There is a mine of information on PIO on the cost of living... it does play a huge part on which state you reside in as well.

Where I was living in northern WA, the prices were exceptionally high for all and sundry, whilst for me in Tasmania I find it much more reasonable.

 

Outdoor activities are in abundance here (bear in mind some states are warmer than others), beaches, free BBQ areas, fishing, kayaking, camping are all free etc.

 

If I had my time again, yes I would have preferred to have brought my children up in Australia for a variety of reasons.

 

Petrol/Diesel prices are also rising here, today I paid $1.40 pl. Bear in mind Tasmania is the smaller state so it remains cheap for us, but in some states your travelling distances are of course further.

 

Housing/accomodation costs are higher on average I think, my own cost of living is lower, we tend to eat well from the land or sea.

 

There are many aspects to consider Katie, pros and cons...

 

In the event of death.sickness, this is where chronic hardship prevails...a 24 hr flight back home can be the longest hours you have spent in your life time getting back home.

So many aspects to consider!

 

For me its the good life in a good country but it depends on your own personal circumstances.

 

 

Susie x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest NeilEB

Tough decision, particularly if one of you isn't really set on it.

 

Can you maybe take a long holiday there (3/4 weeks) and see what it's like? Maybe you'll grow to love it more then the hubby, or maybe you'll realise it's definitely not for you.

 

One thing I would say, and it sounds a bit heartless, but you can't live your life for your parents. Your new family is your hubby and your kids, and if the move is right for all of you then your parents will have to deal with it. Don't not do something to make your parents happy.

 

On the other hand, you shouldn't do something for the prospect of a mythical better life without doing research. Oz isn't a utopian candy-land that will suddenly make life better - it's has the same trials and tribulations as any other country. If you have secure jobs, a nice house etc, then it may not be worth risking the move. If you're like my wife and I and have nothing much to risk, then it may be worth the move.

 

Hope that helps a bit?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
hello

 

my husband really wants to move to australia, hes been wanting to for many years...we have two children a four year old and a 1 year old!! im in two minds on going? i would like to move house but to move around the world is a different matter!!

im concerned if i decided to go ahead with it i will regret moving,, as i dont want to take my kids from their gran parents!!! my kids are the only gran kids they have and it will break their hearts if i was to take them away...but i do want to make my husband happy! i feel like im the reason why hes so unhappy living in wales...uk and that i need to make it up to him!!?!?

im 25 and my husband is 31 he is a tool maker...engineer and i work in a care home! so i know we prob get in...what to do????

please help...............is it a better life for the kids as i hear!?!?!!?

 

thank you

katie x

 

 

All I can say is my Hubby is a toolmaker and we have a wonderful life here. we moved out in July last year and have made a fantastic life here. If your OH has the qualifications that allow him to apply. ( has he enquired yet?) then do lots of research and yes I really wish I had done it at your age when the kids were younger its a fantastic life for them but it gets harder in my opinion as they get older :wubclub:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thank you so much

 

im just concerened that we cant afford to live out there...and if am honest there is nothing here where i live at the mo if u want a nice day out you have to drive and then that cost diesel and thats not cheap at all!!! is it cheaper living in oz...where would i find these things out please!!?!

thank you

katie x

 

 

My OH earns much more than he did in the UK. He has more than doubled his basic wage and has far more well paid OT too. So that really helps. Shed loads of work too:wubclub:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Katie, welcome to pio.

 

I can only repeat what some of the others have said, You both need to be behind each other 100% to make such a huge move work, If you have doubts now they will follow you when you make the move! Your children are young enough to adapt really well, as i'm sure your parents would come round to the idea.

Our children were older when we moved, they were 6, 9, and 11, The youngest two were so unsettled and really wanted to return home, My o/h and i had already discussed what we would do if anyone wanted to return, we would back each other and return. I also suffered badly due to the fact i left my eldest daughter behind with two grandchildren, i thought i was coping really well, i was happy, (so i thought) It wasn't until my o/h mentioned returning home that the flood gates opened! Maybe just maybe my heart wasn't in it to start with, who knows?

So what im trying to say is... Talk all possibilities out with each other, discuss what would happen if one of you really couldn't settle, what would you do etc, It's a very expensive and stressful process to go through, Do your research and im sure you will come good in the end,

 

( i have no regrets going to Australia,I loved it there, i only wish i had done it when the kids were younger)

Wishing you all the very best

Dawn x


Oz is Beautiful, but the uk is home :wubclub:

Returned to Bournemouth 20th August 2010

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Guest 47403

Some excellent advice here as always, especially seeing as Que Sera, Sera OH is in the same trade as your husband.

 

But I'd say you must both be 100% behind it to make it work, if you can go for a holiday and see if that helps you decide, tough one when you have the only grand kids without sounding harse the kids will be around a lot longer than the grand parents not saying the kids will definately have a better life in Oz but I hope so It's one of the driving factors behind our move.

 

But if my missus said tomorrow she no longer wanted to go I'd totally accept it, your immediate family is what counts most.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest chris955

As has already been said many times you both have to be 100% for this, if not it is potentially a recipe for disaster.

It isn't automatically a better life for you or the kids. You still have to pay to take them places other than parks etc.

Of course no one else can make the decision for you. Again as has been said many times before on this forum I am a firm believer in 'if it ain't broke don't fix it'. In other words if you have a nice comfortable life and BOTH of you aren't 100% then stay put.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest NeilEB

Just to add there are a couple of threads in the "Chewing the Fat" section that look at the Pros and Cons of moving to Oz.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also firmly in the if it aint broke dont fix it camp. Sorry, but if you are close to your parents and your kids are attached to them then dont do it. You have to be incredibly strong minded and self sufficient to be a successful migrant and you have to be behind it totally and utterly and be aware of what you are signing yourself up to. It isnt any cheaper here, so many things are more expensive (housing for starters) and even if petrol is cheaper you usually have to drive further to get to where you want to go so it all evens out in the end.

 

You do need to read carefully through the thread about taking kids out of Australia if it all goes pear shaped - it's a huge decision to make.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I disagree that you both have to be 100 percent behind moving over. Are any of us in all honesty? We had never even visited Australia so how on earth could we be 100 per cent. You are bound to have doubts, human nature and all that. However what I will agree with is you both have to agree to TRY it. To give it a go. If you dont like it when you have tried it , then at least you dont live your whole life wondering. Only one of you wanting to go and then going, is just as bad as only one of you not wanting to go and staying in my opinion. Also something I have noticed from friends both here and in the UK. 40 seems to be magic number. All lifes little itches seem to get much worse at 40 and thats why at that age a lot of us look for something better if we havent already found it. Whether we all find it or not is another matter , but if you dont try how do you know ???:wideeyed:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest NeilEB

You can be 100% behind moving without being 100% behind staying.

 

In other words, I am 100% certain I want to try Oz (if WA ever approve my SS), but I'm not 100% certain it will be for life :-)

 

If there are serious doubts about even trying it out, such as there is in this case, it doesn't sound too promising.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest hughielewis

i'm not really in favour of the "take a holiday first" approach.

 

the problem is that most people love australia when they come on holiday, (although it was MUCH better when it was $3's to the pound).

 

The reality hits when you're set in your house, the gloss has worn off the weather and the beach and you're at home on your own, 10,000 miles away from your family and friends. If you're able to get out in the community (join a club, sport, church, or whatever), make new friends, get a job and generally keep busy then it's a good move, if not then you may struggle.

 

We've been here nearly 3 years, i love it, but my wife has found it more difficult.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
i'm not really in favour of the "take a holiday first" approach.

 

the problem is that most people love australia when they come on holiday, (although it was MUCH better when it was $3's to the pound).

 

The reality hits when you're set in your house, the gloss has worn off the weather and the beach and you're at home on your own, 10,000 miles away from your family and friends. If you're able to get out in the community (join a club, sport, church, or whatever), make new friends, get a job and generally keep busy then it's a good move, if not then you may struggle.

 

We've been here nearly 3 years, i love it, but my wife has found it more difficult.

 

The holiday approach worked for us.

 

Knowing how happy and settled some of our family members were in WA, we fully expected to be caught by the emigration bug, and saw our first visit as an opportunity to check out for ourselves whether life in Australia was something to aim for. We had a fantastic holiday (and several more since), but we knew fairly quickly that we did not want to trade our life in the UK. Looking back I think it would have been quite difficult for us to weigh the pros and cons of such a big decision based on the views and opinions of others. But every one and every situation is different. If, as a family, you are up for the challenge and feel that your opportunities for a better life lie in Australia, then it is surely worth thinking long and hard about. A holiday might just be the opportunity to reassure you, one way or the other.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Burchos

I agree you have to be in it together to make the move. Both me and OH are agreed we want to go to Oz. However that still doesn't stop me from having the odd bout of cold feet and then the over whelming feeling of excitment at the prospects of a new life in a beautiful country. Only once we are living our day to day life there can we be sure it was the right/wrong decision.

 

We have a good life here, nice house, OH runs his own successful business, great friends and social life and I often question why are we going. And then OH and I have a chat and remember why. The adventure for us and the children, different lifestyle, culture etc. It helps that we both lived out there for 18 months in our early twenties and my sister is there. It's a gamble, but one worth taking, as I think we would always wonder what if and regret not going. We will always make sure that if we want to we can come home if it comes to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×