Serious cold feet

[Lakaal]

Hi there.

 

I have received sponsorship from Melbourne and am just about to click apply on 176 visa application but am having serious cold feet. I have a feeling this is the wrong decision but at the same time afraid it's just nerves and don't want to not submit my application as will lose sponsorship(only valid for four months which is up nxt week)

 

There is myself and my husband and two daughters 5 and nine months. We have both been talking about going back to oz when we met there 15yrs ago but more seriously in last four yrs. We have mire or less put our lives on hold for last four yrs planning.

 

However I am seriously worried. I am a social worker and the salary in oz is alot less than I earn here. Here I can work parttime whereas over there I will be fulltime. I am very close to family, my did lives across the road and generally we have a good life. My husband runs his own business very successful but works way too much - the cause of alot of arguments.

 

We are hoping that he will work less in oz when he gets set up again . But even writing it I am thinking are we fooling ourselves. Obviously if I earning less he will have to work more.

 

I guess we are chasing the dream of more family time, more outdoor life but I am afraid we wIill be living in poverty and kids will be in childcare do much, is that a better quality if life whereas here I can mind them. We have had a tough few years in our marriage and several times have talked about separating. We are putting this down to not being happy here.

 

Any advice from anyone before I click apply and possibly waste two grand or before I don't cluck apply and lose sponorship and maybe live with regret

[newjez]

Hi Lakaal - have you thought about moving within the UK. If you want more time, then if you could move somewhere closer to work, or somewhere cheaper so you don't work as much.

 

Australians are always amazed when they are looked upon as hard working - but they are. You often don't get the holidays you get in the UK. There are rich rewards, but it doesn't come easily.

 

They do play hard as well, and you can do that as the weather is better. But it's not a life of leisure. Not with the current exchange rate anyway.

[Guest valleylass]

Hi Lakaal

 

Only you can make this decision but you are thinking it through properly i.e. weighing up the pros and cons of full and part time work, children in childcare, financial strain etc. One thing to be aware of when you are coming to a definitive conclusion, migration is a highly stressful experience and if you have doubts about your relationship this may make or break you. To be fair even the strongest relationships can take a right old kicking.

Perhaps spend a bit of money and time talking to someone together before you make the leap to Oz??

 

Good luck and I'm sure others will be along soon to offer you pearls of wisdom

[cobbler]

Hi Lakaal,

OMG a lot of what you say is just like my situation, but I have always wanted to move to oz ( wife has not) I am in perth now for the next month on my own (wife is in uk) looking at the area with a view of moving here soon full time. I am loving it. my wife is considering us seperating after 14 years together. I also have my own business in the UK doing well, loads to consider what do you think?

[GavCar]

Hi there.

 

I have received sponsorship from Melbourne and am just about to click apply on 176 visa application but am having serious cold feet. I have a feeling this is the wrong decision but at the same time afraid it's just nerves and don't want to not submit my application as will lose sponsorship(only valid for four months which is up nxt week)

 

There is myself and my husband and two daughters 5 and nine months. We have both been talking about going back to oz when we met there 15yrs ago but more seriously in last four yrs. We have mire or less put our lives on hold for last four yrs planning.

 

However I am seriously worried. I am a social worker and the salary in oz is alot less than I earn here. Here I can work parttime whereas over there I will be fulltime. I am very close to family, my did lives across the road and generally we have a good life. My husband runs his own business very successful but works way too much - the cause of alot of arguments.

 

We are hoping that he will work less in oz when he gets set up again . But even writing it I am thinking are we fooling ourselves. Obviously if I earning less he will have to work more.

 

I guess we are chasing the dream of more family time, more outdoor life but I am afraid we wIill be living in poverty and kids will be in childcare do much, is that a better quality if life whereas here I can mind them. We have had a tough few years in our marriage and several times have talked about separating. We are putting this down to not being happy here.

 

Any advice from anyone before I click apply and possibly waste two grand or before I don't cluck apply and lose sponorship and maybe live with regret

 

Hiya,

 

I feel for your situation and you are right that its hard to tell whether its just nerves or not. I guess its similar to last min nerves before any big decisions like getting married etc.

 

I can totally see what your saying about the relationship - I would weigh up the reasons you've talked about separating and is moving away more likely to make things worse or better? If a new start could refresh your relationship and give it a better chance then maybe it is worth the risk. What does you OH think? Will he be upset if you don't go or is he as undecided as you?

 

I think it all depends on what you think you can lose too. When we talked it all through we decided we are renting our flat out & not selling it, partly because we wanted investment property anyway and partly because then we havent done anything permanent that cant be reversed. I am earning good money at work at the moment but the job is really boring and I know in my heart I want more and at some point I would get itchy feet and want to try something new anyway. OH has a great job working for his dad but him and his dad dont get on at all and he needs to get away from him but not easy living in the same small town.

 

When we weighed it all up we made the decsion that we needed to know if the grass was greener and whatever happens, even if we come home after 6 months, we will be glad we had the adventure and at the very least it would make us appreciate the UK more.

 

Also sometimes in life you need to make a change if you want to shake things up - you might not end up where you first went but it could lead to other things eg different jobs or areas of Oz you hadnt thought of or even a different country altogether.

 

However, if you actually are happy with your life here then perhaps you should stay here. I'm sure there would be opportunities in the furture? Alternatively you could still apply, go there on holiday to validate and then you would have 5 years to decide, that way you dont have to make a rash decision that might not be right. Perhaps the timing is just all wrong.

 

Sorry about the long waffle, just thought I would try to help.

 

Let us know what you decide.

 

Cara xx :hug:

[Guest NeilEB]

Why does the exchange rate make a difference one you are out there? I get that you will go with less, but once over there surely exchange rate is meaningless?

 

Anyway moving seems like a huge risk when you have something to risk (as clearly you do) - I'm surprised that wages are lower in Oz for Social Workers however - they're not exactly highly paid over here.

 

Personally in your shoes, if you can afford the £1800 to lodge the visa application I'd lodge it - why come so far only to turn your back at the last hurdle. Nothing says you have to go just because you have the visa.

[Lakaal]

Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom you are all so kind for taking the time to write back. I think your words have made the decision for me. At this time I will apply and then at least it gives me close to a yr till visa comes to think and even then if we validate five yrs further to decide. Although after four yrs I am not willing to keep my life on hold much longer. We have sold our house and renting now. Oh really wants to give it a go but he never researches it like I do, so I believe he has rose tinted glasses on.

I should have said sorry I am actually in Ireland, hence the good social work salary as I know in the uk it's very low.

I will apply and mull it all over for a few more months heeding all your advice and speaking to oh further about it.

Thanks again guys

[Guest Andy]

Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom you are all so kind for taking the time to write back. I think your words have made the decision for me. At this time I will apply and then at least it gives me close to a yr till visa comes to think and even then if we validate five yrs further to decide. Although after four yrs I am not willing to keep my life on hold much longer. We have sold our house and renting now. Oh really wants to give it a go but he never researches it like I do, so I believe he has rose tinted glasses on.

I should have said sorry I am actually in Ireland, hence the good social work salary as I know in the uk it's very low.

I will apply and mull it all over for a few more months heeding all your advice and speaking to oh further about it.

Thanks again guys

Hi,

 

I think that to move to the other side of the world with your family and everything that comes with that would be unwise if your relationship is rocky, if things are not perfect when you get there which they probably will not be then the blame game will start instantly and lead to bitterness and more arguing. Like someone else suggested why not move somewhere else in Ireland or even over here.

[GavCar]

Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom you are all so kind for taking the time to write back. I think your words have made the decision for me. At this time I will apply and then at least it gives me close to a yr till visa comes to think and even then if we validate five yrs further to decide. Although after four yrs I am not willing to keep my life on hold much longer. We have sold our house and renting now. Oh really wants to give it a go but he never researches it like I do, so I believe he has rose tinted glasses on.

I should have said sorry I am actually in Ireland, hence the good social work salary as I know in the uk it's very low.

I will apply and mull it all over for a few more months heeding all your advice and speaking to oh further about it.

Thanks again guys

 

Hiya,

 

From what I've read on here it's quite common for women to do a lot of the work and research. This is definitely the case with us! (Apologies to the men that are on here and have done the work! I'm not saying all, I'm just saying that I've hreard it talked about a lot) My husband has decided he wants to go whatever and I'm always asking him to spend time looking at stuff!

 

It is easy to look at it with rose tinted glasses, some people it really works out for and some it doesnt. I think for us even if we find it tougher over there we are hoping the extra sunshine and warmth and outdoor life will make up for it. We are not just going for more money & less working hours, if that isnt the case then I think we'll be OK as we just want to spend more time out doors and less time watching tele. Its my dream to own a swimming pool as I love swimming but theres no way we'd be able to afford it here, certainly not in the near future anyway.

 

I think its a good idea to re-evaluate the reasons for going. Just because you think you can have more money & work less then perhaps not a good idea. However if there are other reasons too like the ones above, better schools, better health care etc... then its more likely to be worth a try.

 

I totally understand what people are saying about if your relationship is rocky the move might put more strain on - however, just the other side of the coin, if your OH really wants to go and then you dont go that could also cause tension. You could have an agreemnet like some families have said on here that you give it 6months/1 year etc and if after that time one of you hasnt settled then you go home.

 

Also, do you think it would be easy enough to get work again if you cameback?

 

Just a few more points I have thought of.

 

I defnitely think you're doing the right thing getting the visa, dont put your life on hold anymore, get on with your life for a while and perhaps just focus on having a holiday out there & then take it from there.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

Cara xx

[Petals]

Welcome, there have been quite a few threads here from Social Workers who are in Aus and have been disappointed with the way things are run here and where they are given jobs..

 

Perhaps if you post another thread specific to social work and where you are intending to go you will get more information.

[Quoll]

As a SW you probably need to send a message to Madgen - she just experienced the work in Vic and could give you a heads up.

[starlight7]

With social work it very much depends what area you are working in - if it is child protection ( protective services) I would be very, very wary. The service is undergoing a lot of upheaval right now and copping a lot of criticism for lack of support for workers, too heavy work loads etc. It also depends where you go - Western suburbs are difficult so I have been told, and so is the Dandenong area. The Eastern suburbs are much better apparently. I don't want to put you off though - the country certainly needs sws and I think there would be plenty of work around. As someone else pointed out, Australians do work very hard and that is why they have been:wink: so popular as workers over in the UK!

[sunni1234]

Welcome, there have been quite a few threads here from Social Workers who are in Aus and have been disappointed with the way things are run here and where they are given jobs..

 

Perhaps if you post another thread specific to social work and where you are intending to go you will get more information.

 

This is very good advice.

[Lakaal]

Will post a social work thread, thanks again guys for all your advice. Myself and oh had long chat this morning about all pros and cons and we have decided we are going to go for visa and hopefully make the move. We feel we have to give it a try and see as we have just thought about it for so many years and feel we would really regret not even trying it.

Thanks for the advice re social work over there. I have had several colleagues who gave worked in child protection Melbourne and I had heard quite mixed reviews. I am however an experienced Medical Social Worker so would be hoping to secure a post in a hospital. I will post a thread re same.

Anyway thanks everyone and fingers crossed all goes well for us all xx

[Guest PocketMamma]

Will post a social work thread, thanks again guys for all your advice. Myself and oh had long chat this morning about all pros and cons and we have decided we are going to go for visa and hopefully make the move. We feel we have to give it a try and see as we have just thought about it for so many years and feel we would really regret not even trying it.

Thanks for the advice re social work over there. I have had several colleagues who gave worked in child protection Melbourne and I had heard quite mixed reviews. I am however an experienced Medical Social Worker so would be hoping to secure a post in a hospital. I will post a thread re same.

Anyway thanks everyone and fingers crossed all goes well for us all xx

 

The fact that you and your OH seem to be on the same wave-length regarding a possible move over is great. While making the move across is very stressful to a relationship - I think it can also prove to be an adventure (with ups and downs) that can make your relationship stronger (it has in my experience anyway). Work as a team and whatever happens will be the right thing to do. Good luck :biggrin:

[Guest Revs30]

My wife has just been sponsored to work in CP as a SW based in Melbourne, have heard very mixed reviews but would be silly not to give it a go. If we don't like it then can always come back to UK.

[GavCar]

Will post a social work thread, thanks again guys for all your advice. Myself and oh had long chat this morning about all pros and cons and we have decided we are going to go for visa and hopefully make the move. We feel we have to give it a try and see as we have just thought about it for so many years and feel we would really regret not even trying it.

Thanks for the advice re social work over there. I have had several colleagues who gave worked in child protection Melbourne and I had heard quite mixed reviews. I am however an experienced Medical Social Worker so would be hoping to secure a post in a hospital. I will post a thread re same.

Anyway thanks everyone and fingers crossed all goes well for us all xx

 

Hiya,

 

It must be a weight off that you've made a decision & sounds like you are both united so hopefully it should make you stronger.

 

Good Luck with the rest of your journey.

 

Cara x

[Lakaal]

Thanks cara for your posts you are so level headed

hope you get your visa soon, sure oz would be lucky to have you.

[GavCar]

Thanks cara for your posts you are so level headed

hope you get your visa soon, sure oz would be lucky to have you.

 

That's so sweet, thank you. I'm not really that level headed though :biglaugh: This Oz stuff does drive you a bit crazy :twitcy:

 

I'll add you as a friend and we can stay in touch if you fancy it.

 

 

Cara x

[Lakaal]

Great thanks that would be great. A bit crazy a definite understatement in my life take care x

[Guest chris955]

Basing my view purely on what you say in this post I think you would be crazy if you have a good settled life in the UK.

You won't magically get more family time, it does confuse me when people say this as we have the same 24 hours in the day :wink:

The cost of living is rising here and if you are earning less than you are at home it will be difficult.

 

Hi there.

 

I have received sponsorship from Melbourne and am just about to click apply on 176 visa application but am having serious cold feet. I have a feeling this is the wrong decision but at the same time afraid it's just nerves and don't want to not submit my application as will lose sponsorship(only valid for four months which is up nxt week)

 

There is myself and my husband and two daughters 5 and nine months. We have both been talking about going back to oz when we met there 15yrs ago but more seriously in last four yrs. We have mire or less put our lives on hold for last four yrs planning.

 

However I am seriously worried. I am a social worker and the salary in oz is alot less than I earn here. Here I can work parttime whereas over there I will be fulltime. I am very close to family, my did lives across the road and generally we have a good life. My husband runs his own business very successful but works way too much - the cause of alot of arguments.

 

We are hoping that he will work less in oz when he gets set up again . But even writing it I am thinking are we fooling ourselves. Obviously if I earning less he will have to work more.

 

I guess we are chasing the dream of more family time, more outdoor life but I am afraid we wIill be living in poverty and kids will be in childcare do much, is that a better quality if life whereas here I can mind them. We have had a tough few years in our marriage and several times have talked about separating. We are putting this down to not being happy here.

 

Any advice from anyone before I click apply and possibly waste two grand or before I don't cluck apply and lose sponorship and maybe live with regret

[Guest NeilEB]

Basing my view purely on what you say in this post I think you would be crazy if you have a good settled life in the UK.

You won't magically get more family time, it does confuse me when people say this as we have the same 24 hours in the day :wink:

The cost of living is rising here and if you are earning less than you are at home it will be difficult.

 

I'm not disagreeing with you Chris, but one thing I'd point out - the cost of living everywhere is rising (particularly in the UK).

Petrol is going up, which puts pressure on pretty much everything (after all, most things are delivered by road....)

Taxes are going up (see the new 20% VAT rate)

Soon interest rates will go up - and seeign as the vast majority of people have some form of debt this will hit people hard

Food prices bizzarely have come down slightly, but there is a feeling this is due to price wars from the supermarkets, which can't last forever.

 

Wow! I'm feeling positive today... :err:

[Quoll]

I'm not disagreeing with you Chris, but one thing I'd point out - the cost of living everywhere is rising (particularly in the UK).

Petrol is going up, which puts pressure on pretty much everything (after all, most things are delivered by road....)

Taxes are going up (see the new 20% VAT rate)

Soon interest rates will go up - and seeign as the vast majority of people have some form of debt this will hit people hard

Food prices bizzarely have come down slightly, but there is a feeling this is due to price wars from the supermarkets, which can't last forever.

 

Wow! I'm feeling positive today... :err:

 

Living costs $$, no matter where you are and it would be naive in the extreme to suppose that Australia is going to be immune from increases in the cost of living that is impacting the whole western world. We have our GST and the new carbon dioxide tax will add another huge whack of taxation. Interest rates already sitting on close to 7% here (had to laugh at the DM predicting that rates will quadruple in UK to a giddy 2%!) and you only have to look at house prices and rental costs and have a minor coronary. Just yesterday on the radio they were talking about retailers here not passing on the CO2 tax (yeah right) and the point was made that retailers have been massively discounting everything just to keep their heads above water, the tax has to be passed on to Joe Blow. If the resources market goes belly up (not unlikely) then Aus is economically in the toaster - we have little else and the strong dollar is putting what little manufacturing we have out of competition.

 

Add to that the fewer vacation weeks and the cost to leave the country (more expensive to leave than to arrive) and that puts a bit of a crimp in people's holiday planning.

 

I remain to be convinced that Australians work fewer hours than their UK counterparts. For us the norm has been the 37hr week +5 to 10 hrs just to get the jobs done. I agree with Chris - just the same number of hours in a day. Similarly moving here doesnt raise your IQ points (cue joke), make you look like Elle McPherson or magically endow you with any other skills that you didnt have before. It isnt a NEW life, it is a continuation of the one you have got and with the same amount of energy and enthusiasm you could continue your life in another place just as successfully - if you are happy and successful where you are why bother to risk it all?

[Guest NeilEB]

Completely agree - personally if we were happy and successful we wouldn't be risking the move (or at least we'd be thinking long and hard about it). But I was just trying to point out that living costs are on the rise everywhere, and it does seem that most Western Manufacturing is in the toilet - does the UK actually produce anything these days?

 

For years I have never understood why the West don't try and develop new 'greener' technology. Let's gear up out economy for that, for science, for research - if nothing else at least it will move us away from the ever dwindling resouce known as oil.

 

Anyway I digress slightly - the problem with all these threads is that no-one can answer the question for you. Only you and your family know the exact situation you are in, and what you want out of life. No doubt there would be people who would look at my life and think "what are you talking about, you have a house, a job, a family, of course you're successful", whereas I know what we want out of life, and that isn't achievable here in the UK.

[Guest SusieOR]

I agree with Cara who said that in general it is the women who do a lot of the research... My hubby wants to go to Oz just as much as me but he doesn't do much about it!!! I fill the forms, I am on here, I do the research!!!

 

Other thing I think re this... if you go to Oz... & it doesnt work out for you... & you dont like it... & the quality of life isnt good... you can always return to Ireland if you want... keep the cost of the flights saved somewhere!!!

 

Its an adventure (one that most people wouldnt even consider) & this is how you should look at it!!! It could be the best decision you make or it could be not so great... but either way, life is for living & nothing is irreversible. It could make your marriage stronger instead of breaking you up??? It could open different doors to you which you didnt even consider???

 

Anyway... in the end, only you & your fella can make the decision to stay or go... & best of luck with whatever you decide :hug: