Guest Happy Haggis Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Hi to Everyone, Found this site the other day, and found it to be helpfull to a lot of people. Not sure if anyone can help my situation, but I will tell it the best I can. I have been with my second wife for 16 years, 15 of those years in Sydney, Australia. I have 2 Children from my first marrige that still live in Scotland, and my wife has three children from her first marriage. Two in Scotland and 1 here in Australia. We have no children together, and her daughter that lives here in Australia is now grown up and married with 2 children. We have both longed to return to Scotland for many years now, but our daughter wanted to stay in Australia, and we could not leave her here until we felt she was happy and settled in a secure relationship. She has now been in that position for several years, so the wife and I decided it was time for us to go back home to Scotland. We made this decision last July with a predicted return to Scotland of March/April 2011 to give us time to finish off renovations to house and sell it. In October last year, My wifes mother phoned with bad news that she had bowel cancer, my wife told her mother she wanted to be there with her but would not be able to return until March this year. I made the decision that the wife should return straight away and I would finalise everything in Australia and follow as soon as possible. My wife left Australia in October last year and since then I have continued working, struggling to keep my head above water on one income, complete renovtions to house and get it on Market for sale. I have now got all our possessions packed and ready to ship and the house is under contract and finally sold. Should have been the happiest week of my life, unfotunately not. My Wife phoned me on Monday morning just before I was leaving for work and told me it was over between us. I am now in the position that all our furniture has been sold, our house here is sold and I have no family to return to in Scotland, so I am in effect homeless. Once I split the proceeds of house 50/50 there is not enough left for me to return to Scotland pay accommodation long enough to find work. Not sure what to do at this point, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Happy Haggis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Oh Haggis, I am so so sorry to hear this!:hug:, Devastating news, you must be crestfallen ! May I ask what options you have in terms of employment? Do you want to stay in Australia to be near your daughter and is that an option? What sort of funds do you have to re start your life in either Scotland or Australia? You certainly have a positive exchange rate at the moment! I feel for you Haggis, you wouldnt wish this on your worst enemy, and I am so pleased you have found PIO, where you will I am sure receive much support. Welcome! love Susie x:hug: Edited to add, I see you feel there is not enough to relocate to Scotland, have you thought about a different state like Tasmania for example? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I don't really know what to say, except I feel for you. I hope that it works out for you whether you return to Scotland or stay here. With best wishes, Susie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Happy Haggis Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Thanks for your kind words Suzie, I am self employed with landscape business, unfortunately have wound down business, cancelled insurances, website and everything associated with business. Proceeds from sale of house will be about $80,000. Unfortunately, I owe $37,000 on landscape equipment. That is basically my half of house proceeds gone. We had planned to ship equipment back to Scotland and start up business there. Don't think wife will change mind, told her I have spent last 5 months apart thinking of being back with her, she told me she has spent last 5 months thinking about ending it with me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Thanks for your kind words Suzie, I am self employed with landscape business, unfortunately have wound down business, cancelled insurances, website and everything associated with business. Proceeds from sale of house will be about $80,000. Unfortunately, I owe $37,000 on landscape equipment. That is basically my half of house proceeds gone. We had planned to ship equipment back to Scotland and start up business there. Don't think wife will change mind, told her I have spent last 5 months apart thinking of being back with her, she told me she has spent last 5 months thinking about ending it with me Haggis,:hug: May I asked what both sets of children think about this happening? Have they offered you any support? be it emotional or physcial? You do both have children in both sides of the globe! This bombshell has happened very suddenly, but have you thought about any other options here in Australia? Susie xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Happy Haggis Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I haven't told my children in Scotland from my first marrige. I have only spoken to my wifes daughter here, and although she feels for me, it's the old saying, bloods thicker than water Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I think in situations like this Haggis, it is easy to make a huge mistake making instant decisions! Maybe you could store your equipment and possessions for now, and this could possibly be done quite cheaply, get hold of a camper van and travel a wee bit until your brain has adjusted somewhat to your new situation..... finding work along the way. I have met many wonderful landscape gardeners in Karratha WA who were stretched out workwise, living in campers and enjoying the nomadic way of life. The opportunities are there in this region for making some quite good money hence possibly paving your way to return to your native land. This will give you some sort of roof over your head for now, and company in various camp sites until you find your feet. I am just trying to throw a few ideas at you, not knowing your full financial circumstances. Susie xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest famousfive Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 What an awful lot for one person to have to deal with at once.It must feel as if your whole world has come crashing down around you in the space of one short phone call.I really feel for you,it is an awful situation to find yourself in. I believe heading home to Scotland will still be possible if this is what you really want to do.Unfortunately this may now take a bit longer than planned but all is not lost yet.As the financial situation is now a stumbling block you need to get back into work and into a low cost rental so you can start putting some money aside for your return.With your experience it may be easy enough to get a good job that will pay the bills and leave some over for saving. If you have friends in Scotland they may be able to help out by keeping an eye on jobs there for your return too.If you are still close to your kids they may be of help. The most important thing right now is to have friends and support around you if possible and to give yourself time to come to terms with what has happened before undertaking any major plans.Your change of circumstance may well leave you with a different outlook on life so it is important to not jump too quickly,give yourself some time.Counselling might also be of help. I wish you the very best and feel free to PM me if I can be of any help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Happy Haggis Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Thank you for your kind response. I am actually a qualified Electrician to Trade, but I have never applied for my Electrical Licence in australia due to the time it takes and all the red tape to go through when from overseas. I worked on the Oil rigs back in Scotland before coming here, so I might be able to get back on my feet quicker if I try and pursue that line of work again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa&Martin Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I realise that the finances are only a part of the bigger picture right now, but I would have thought that both assets and debts whilst you were married were joint? Seems very generous of you to own all the equipment debt, and take it off 'your half' of the house equity when it was the use of the equipment that provided an income to you both, and the funds that paid for the house renovations to be completed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 What a shock that must have been mate. I can only suggest you follow up on your oil rig experience. You must have a lot on your mind right now and work would help give you somethng else to think about. The extra money wouldn't go a miss either. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest megapixel Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 How terrible for you. I haven't been at PIO for long but already have seen many good people here with generous hearts and souls who will help as much as they can. Possibly if you have time it might be good to let the dust settle and think carefully before doing anything. Meanwhile I will watch this thread and help if I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Oh heavens I feel for you, sometimes relationships end in the most surprising ways don't they, and it hits hard - but there is always light at the end of the tunnel so to speak even though it seems hard now, if you want to go back to Scotland then follow your heart and something might turn up there jobwise. Best of luck with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Good luck to you with whatever you decide to do, the only way now is up.:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaroo Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Hi Haggis What a bombshell to drop on you! I agree with those that say a move back to Scotland would still be possible and if that is where you really want to be then I would go for it! I wish you lots of luck Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishgirl1 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I am so sorry for what has happened. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do.:yes: Take care of yourself Laney xx:hug::hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest happycrappy Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Tough times ahead mate, just remember one thing, take care of your health and be strong, Australia is the land of opportunity, there could well be a happier life just around the corner for you and you just can't see it at the moment. Hope it all works out for you what ever you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GregM Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Mate, that's a terribly sad way for things to end up. I don't know the details and I guess I don't know your "personal style" but the advice to maybe take some time out and travel around a bit sounds good to me; it might be what I would do if I were in your situation. You just need to keep your chin up, be open to change and whatever comes your way and if dark thoughts start to enter your head, just make sure you talk to someone about it! You appear to have a number of people caring about your story on this forum, so don't think for a moment that you're completely alone; you're clearly not. I wish you well for the future. Find yourself, find a new direction, focus on making it a positive journey and I hope it comes good for you. All the best Greg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Oh wow, if you werent a bloke I'd offer a {{{hug}}} (well, have one anyway!) It must look as if you are faced with an insurmountable problem here but I am sure there are some things you can do to help deal with things one step at a time. First of all, check out some legal advice and see what you need to do to protect your assets and ensure that you get what it rightfully yours - your debts also belong to the relationship so they have to be halved as well and maybe you should take out your fare and cost of transporting belongings at least from the halving equation. Secondly, consider where is your best support network - it may be here, it may not. Wherever it is, make sure that you are connecting with the people in it and dont be afraid to ask for help/support/a cup of coffee. I guess from where you are standing right at this moment, the only way is up! Good luck! (and remember that PiOers are a great crowd when it comes to support!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Happy Haggis Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Thank you all for your kind remarks and words of advice. I must admit I have felt so alone and afraid of the future, but have managed to look at your advice and never thought about maybe taking off and travelling around Australia. As much as I really wanted to return to Scotland, I wanted that with my partner, now that does not feel the same, and to return to our home town iwhich is quite small, we would inevitably bump into each other. I feel that iI need a clean break to try and get over this, and travel just might be the answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lara24 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Oh Haggis, My heart goes out to you, that is a terrible situation to be in but as others have said hopefully the only way is up. I know there is a lot of work in WA if you have oil and gas experience perhaps that could help fund your way home. I live in Aberdeen, if you want to pm me I will certainly send you various companies and recruitment agencies based here who might be able to offer you a job. An offshore salary should certainly be able to cover rent and bills here and enable you to save up for a house. I wish you all the luck in the world............:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Happy Haggis Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Thanks Lara, new on here nad not sure how to pm on this forum. My home town is Keith and I mainly worked offshore on Shells Brent field where I spent 4 year on the Brent Bravo platform as part of their core team. Unfortunately haven't been offshore for about 10 years. Have worked offshore however in Bass Strait, Off Karratha, Gulf of Thailand and Gulf of Mexico since leaving Scotland Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saz Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 OMG what a terrible shock for you. Here is a big :hug: I do think you need to stand back a little & take stock & you defo need to get some legal advise. Sounds to me as though you are being more than generous with the split of the proceeds from the house sale. Hope you get some sort of resolution soon & all the very best for what lies ahead, wherever you end up :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Feels like the end of the world when it happens mate doesnt it?i "forced" meself to get divorced tbh,i didnt really want to but knew it was for the best,it turned out the best thing ive done,hopefully "in the end" you'l feel the same way. If i was you i'd stay there,rent a cheapish flat and try and start again,and eventually get your disco shoes on and get out there,best wishes,hope things turn round for yer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lara24 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 No problem Haggis, Am just about to head out but when I get home later will put together a few contacts for you in Aberdeen. At least you can test the water and maybe then make a decision on where to live. Sounds like you will have more of an idea about the offshore world out of Karratha than me but one contact I was talking to at the weekend may be worth a punt..... Barry Sweeney at SWGR, his e-mail is aus@sw-gr.com and website is SW Global Resourcing Get back to you later with some Aberdeen info.... Lara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.