Re-reading the pros and cons list

[Guest famousfive]

We have been to oz a few times now and currently 2yrs into our latest stint here with a view to returning home sometime within the next 12mths.The decision to return was an easy one for us but we still sat and made the pros and cons list just to be sure we were all on the same page and would have no regrets later down the road.

 

Yesterday I re-read that list and compared it to the list we made before moving here.Boy was that an eye-opener.One of the things we did was write a diary entry each day for two weeks about what we did that day and how it felt etc..we did this before each decision and the kids also did this.Reading back through both the most noticable aspect is how mundane our life here seems compared to there and the lack of humour in our writings.

 

Has anyone else re-read their list and thought "Wow,has life become so uneventful?Have we become so boring?"Even the kids diary entries have so little in them,so little to write about,struggled to fill a page a day whereas in ireland their books were overflowing.

 

Was making such a list an eye-opener for anyone else?My husband,an aussie,often makes one comment when talking about how life here compares to what we left behind,he says..'How the mighty have fallen,from living life to just existing because of one fateful decision'.

 

Not sure if this makes any sense to others,just having one of those days I suppose and wondering if anyone else has experienced the same.

[DannyCoyles]

Hi

 

Interested to hear what kind of things you done in Ireland that you dont do in Australia? Not disagreeing with your findings just interested to know as we find the opposite. I found our days and weeks in Ireland were filled with the same things every week and now we do something different each week, day to day stuff is much the same apart from getting outside a more in the evenings.

 

Thanks

 

Danny.

[Paul1Perth]

Hi

 

Interested to hear what kind of things you done in Ireland that you dont do in Australia? Not disagreeing with your findings just interested to know as we find the opposite. I found our days and weeks in Ireland were filled with the same things every week and now we do something different each week, day to day stuff is much the same apart from getting outside a more in the evenings.

 

Thanks

 

Danny.

 

Must say we found the same. Lots more to do here.

Never been down the road of keeping a daily diary but when we were in the UK we felt we were just existing in a way. Wondering what we could do to keep entertained. If we went out on a long weekend and the weather happened to be good you usually ended up in a traffic jam for hours as everyone else had the same idea. Then when you got to whrever there would be no parking or expensive parking.

 

Taking our youngest out in the pram with him all cuddled up and a rain hood on the pram. A walk to the local duckpond and back was a highlight.

 

Never been to Ireland though so that may be a lot different. We lived just outside Stockport on the road out to the pennines. Nice area but not a lot to do we felt.

[Guest siamsusie]

We were living in London but as motor bikers we escaped to the continent most weekends.

I have a far better life here and certainly more affordable in a gorgeous setting.

 

Susie

[Guest famousfive]

Lots of things here we would love to do and plenty of choice even in regional NSW where we live but alas our financial reality does not allow for much.In ireland we were in a better position to avail of the activities on offer and many of the kids interests were free of charge so even in the down times they could contiue to take part in classes etc that they had an interest in.I was part of an art club and a drama group,I played badminton weekly,did various night courses that took my fancy and had a varied social life.My OH played indoor soccer and badminton.The kids did music,drama,art,handball,irish dancing and karate,all up cost E20pw for three.As a family we had people around for dinner weekly,2 foriegn holidays a year,3-4 local weekend breaks,went to festivals we liked,walks,bike rides,social life etc nothing mind blowing,just normal stuff.

 

We could do all of the above here and many other new and interesting things but this is not how life has turned out,if it costs money we don't get to do it usually and most of the above are beyond our reach here.Will it be any different on our return home?Who knows.But we are pretty happy to be going home to find out and getting out of the rut we are in here.Some people say'I would much rather be poor in oz',not me!!

[DannyCoyles]

Lots of things here we would love to do and plenty of choice even in regional NSW where we live but alas our financial reality does not allow for much.In ireland we were in a better position to avail of the activities on offer and many of the kids interests were free of charge so even in the down times they could contiue to take part in classes etc that they had an interest in.I was part of an art club and a drama group,I played badminton weekly,did various night courses that took my fancy and had a varied social life.My OH played indoor soccer and badminton.The kids did music,drama,art,handball,irish dancing and karate,all up cost E20pw for three.As a family we had people around for dinner weekly,2 foriegn holidays a year,3-4 local weekend breaks,went to festivals we liked,walks,bike rides,social life etc nothing mind blowing,just normal stuff.

 

We could do all of the above here and many other new and interesting things but this is not how life has turned out,if it costs money we don't get to do it usually and most of the above are beyond our reach here.Will it be any different on our return home?Who knows.But we are pretty happy to be going home to find out and getting out of the rut we are in here.Some people say'I would much rather be poor in oz',not me!!

 

That is the same for us only in reverse. We couldnt do much where we lived in Ireland and nothing was ever free apart from a firework display once a year. I agree some of the activites such as karate etc do cost a bit here, but like I said they cost the same in Ireland for us. Except we can afford to pay here for these things and couldnt in Ireland. Good luck with your move back and I hope you and your family are very happy there.

 

Danny

[Guest famousfive]

Thanks very much and good luck to you all too.I really think both countries can have great opportunities if your circumstances allow it,we have also had good times here in oz and some great experiences but it is time to move on.Now if only Ireland could stop being a financial basketcase,that really would be the icing on the cake.Dream on for another while on that one i suppose.Oh well,best head out for my daily walk on the beach....such hardship i tell ya!

[Guest shark]

 

Thanks very much and good luck to you all too.I really think both countries can have great opportunities if your circumstances allow it,we have also had good times here in oz and some great experiences but it is time to move on.Now if only Ireland could stop being a financial basketcase,that really would be the icing on the cake.Dream on for another while on that one i suppose.Oh well,best head out for my daily walk on the beach....such hardship i tell ya!

wish you all your best on your return to Ireland ,and dont be but off by the financial mess the country is in ,Ireland well get back on its feet again might take a while ,and on the plus side house prices are at at a all time low and rent,and price off food etc is coming down and the is still allot off work out the. wages not as good as they were but you will manage :wink:

[Guest famousfive]

Thanks Shark,don't worry,we are not put off at all,we can be fairly enterprising and have always done ok.As you say,it will get better there eventually and then we will be glad we came back.We are lucky in that our base we return to usually affords a soft landing and we have plenty of family support to help us out,right down to free digs if we need it.It's funny but even though the country is struggling we do not feel aprehensive returning because we have always managed to land on our feet there and if we delay a wee bit my medical issues will be behind us so we can land with all guns blazing and two able bodied workers to forge ahead with.Good to hear you are setting things in motion for your move and the very best of luck to you all.The kids must be excited.

[Guest chris955]

Our pros and cons list is decidedly one sided, not in favour of Oz. That is for us of course not everyone. We don't buy into the doom and gloom some seem keen to try and spread. For us it doesn't involve the beach and heat, it's more cerebral. We love the history, the architecture, the people and the places. I don't care if a piece of steak is cheaper or that there is a beach 5 minutes down the road, there are more important things.

There are lots of thing we will miss here but just not enough to outweigh the things we are missing out on now.

[PositivePixie]

Thank you for posting, this actually struck me as one of the few very helpful 'negative' posts - not that it was negative in tone, it came across as very positive imho, just its theme was 'the move hasn't worked for us' iyswim.

 

I think the main reason for this is you haven't said 'Its all pants and because it didn't work for us, it won't for you' which is the sticking point of so many 'negative' posts on here I think. It manages to therefore get the message across so much better than other posts have, and helps people to make informed ideas about the move, rather than getting huffy (something I think most of us could be guilty of from time to time :chatterbox: lol).

[Guest famousfive]

Thanks for that PositivePixie.As you say,just because it has not worked for us does not mean it will not be a good move for others.Our perseption of it working or not will highly depend on what we are coming from too,whether the gains outweigh the losses.In our case they do not,even without taking family and friends into account.It is easy for us to come to terms with this though because we came for family reasons mostly with an open view of staying and do not feel a dream has been shattered because our dream never had a definate ending anyway,it was still fuzzy.

 

I do not feel our return home or our view of this country is a negative one just realistic in our circumstances.In fact I am a hopelessly positive person,if a touch pragmatic at times,and could find some good in any circumstance.The positives from our time here are definately worth the journey through the negatives.

 

Oz, like any country,is inhabited by people who have a comfortable life and people who go through life fighting an uphill struggle.As migrants we hope to fall into the former catagory but this is not always the case.Maybe our story will help others realise that.We do not leave oz because we miss home,don't like it etc..we leave because OUR life was better elsewhere and we are lucky enough to be able to return to it.All the best.

[Paul1Perth]

All the best to you Famous Five.

[Guest cricketbackinengland]

This is just my observation from talking to people who have moved from the UK and not found what they are looking for in another place. I think what sometimes happens is two things.

 

1, people don't necessarily want to leave the UK, they try and leave what they think is their perceived unsatisfactory life for which they sometimes project the blame onto living in the UK.

 

2, having left the UK, they then have an unrealistic expectation on what Australia can offer or even replace as missing in the UK. When this doesn't happen, they feel in limbo and generally unfulfilled in either place. This is what creates the big dilemma.

 

It might be worth looking to see if there is any internal cause of what's making them unhappy or unsettled before they take the drastic leap of moving to another country. It's a hard and expensive way to find out what you might miss back home or dislike in your new home.

I know since I've come back to England, I am happier than I've ever been and I appreciate everything so much more but I think a lot of this is about where I am in life. I haven't got the pressures of a family now and I'm free to pursue career ambitions. I've positioned myself in a part of the UK where I can make this happen. I'm relatively well off, happily married and life is good. It wasn't always this way but it is now so maybe it's an age thing or just the fact that I now have a different perspective. Either way in hindsight, I never needed to leave the country to find what I have now.

Perhaps if I'd looked at life this way earlier, I could have spared myself a lot of pain but I learned the hard way. At least I'm happy now. Blissful in fact.

[BrisDubBris]

Thanks for that PositivePixie.As you say,just because it has not worked for us does not mean it will not be a good move for others.Our perseption of it working or not will highly depend on what we are coming from too,whether the gains outweigh the losses.In our case they do not,even without taking family and friends into account.It is easy for us to come to terms with this though because we came for family reasons mostly with an open view of staying and do not feel a dream has been shattered because our dream never had a definate ending anyway,it was still fuzzy.

 

I do not feel our return home or our view of this country is a negative one just realistic in our circumstances.In fact I am a hopelessly positive person,if a touch pragmatic at times,and could find some good in any circumstance.The positives from our time here are definately worth the journey through the negatives.

 

Oz, like any country,is inhabited by people who have a comfortable life and people who go through life fighting an uphill struggle.As migrants we hope to fall into the former catagory but this is not always the case.Maybe our story will help others realise that.We do not leave oz because we miss home,don't like it etc..we leave because OUR life was better elsewhere and we are lucky enough to be able to return to it.All the best.

 

You do know there is nearly 15% unemployment here, 1000 people a week leaving the country and massive tax hikes as of the December budget with a lot more to come in the next one. Most people are 50-100 Euro a week worse off.

 

I hope you are happy & coming back works out for you but I think you may have unrealistic expectations of what you are coming back to.

[menlow4]

This is the first post I've put on here as previously I have just found comfort in reading others stories and posts. It has been very therapeutic for me knowing that there are others out there who feel the same as I do. I really think that if I told my 'friends' here how I felt then they would think that I was insane! I feel the same as you chris955 and FamousFive. My family and I have been here now for 6 years. The first couple of years were busy and I didn't have time to really think about how far away I was from my family, friends and the country which I loved. Here, the beaches were great, the weather was lovely and our social lives were busy- at first. We did the camping thing, kayaking and tried to enjoy the experience of living in another country.

After that things started to settle down and homesickness began to kick in. We went home in 2008 and had a wonderful, wonderful time. The buzz of being back in the UK was amazing! We did so much and loved every minute of it. It was very hard to settle back into the 'quiet' life here. It is not that I don't appreciate Australia, it is a beautiful place but that's it. A beautiful backdrop but there's not much substance to it.

I kept plodding on for a while and then found myself getting more and more down living here. My teenage daughter also became very depressed and homesick and I had to get councelling for her last year. My husband never gave me any indication that he was in any way unhappy here, but last year, out of the blue, he told me that he was 'over it.'

So after much discussion last year we decided that it was our long term goal to return home. I felt so relieved and excitied. But as one of the previous posts said, we have to take our time and plan it carefully. We want to return in a good financial position in case we take a while to find employment (I'm a teacher and my husband is a prison officer). We sold our house last year and we are now living in a rental. We have some land that we are going to sell aswell and then we can start saving. I think we are looking at 5 years (I'm trying not to think about it too much).

[Guest famousfive]

BrisDubBris-Yes I realise all that and have done extensive research concerning our return.I know it is FAR from perfect right now and for a long time to come but I am also realistic enough to realise that this is not the case in all areas or in all job sectors.We return to a new business in an area we are well aquainted with.We know what can and can not be achieved in the tourism sector in boom times and in hard times because we have already operated a similar business during both.I know when you are looking at leaving a country it is hard to understand someone elses rationale in returning but at the end of the day there will still be people living and working in ireland and doing okay and we intend to be amongst them.I appreciate your advice because it is good to have a good cold dose of reality at times but I assure you we do not return with blinkers on...I am too bloody long at this migration malarky to be sucked into that one and come hell or high water it will work for us,we will make sure of that.

[Guest famousfive]

menlow4-It is a great feeling when you realise someone else feels the same as you,you stop questioning yourself so much I think.My husband is an aussie and we really had the 'so over it' moment too.I wish you the very best of luck and bucketloads of patience to see you through your longterm plan of return.