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mrsindecision

Coping with ups and downs

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I would love to hear from those who have been back for a year and how they have settled. I am five months in and have hit the wall of honeymoon period over and excitement of returning settling and now have to get on with real life. It is really cold and grey at the moment and family are still split so feeling miserable and missing the sunshine (not the heat)

 

All our stuff arrived last week and while that was exciting to have our precious things back it has been a huge lot of work and like trying to fit 2 pints into a half pint pot. I figure moving in the first place was tough and I worked hard to settle and get everything sorted for family there which involved lots of compromise and hard work. Here everything is falling into place nicely workwise and educationally it couldn't be better - moneywise great as well - but I still have the collywobbles and occassionally have to go into the next town which is bloody grotty and I wonder if we have done the right thing ( in my heart I know we have but the re-adjustment is harder than I imagined it would be).

 

Also my BF has cancer which has knocked us all for six and the great fun we were planning together has been blighted by treatments etc...

 

I know what a whiner I am - so those who are tempted please don't have a go - just hoping that some of you have been through this and come out the other side.

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Feel for you. The big C is a b*gger so keep going and doing what you want to do. I am going the other way in 2 weeks but have been reading your journey on here. Just wanted to give you a virtual hug.

 

JOHN


Living The Dream!

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Oh hun sorry to hear this, hopefully you will start to settle soon, remember you have been through so much with the moves etc that you are bound to feel a little low. They say moving is the most stressful part of your life. If you want to chat anytime about the other let me know it is really hard trying to come to terms with everything and sometimes it's not just the patient who needs to talk but the family too. Don't want to go in to personal things here but please feel free to drop me a pm anytime.

Big hugs and hang in there.

Kate


If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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Guest famousfive

:hug:It can be just as hard returning as it is moving in the first place.Maybe you have been trying to do too much for too many,Try and take some time for youself if possible and spend a day just making you happy,Sounds like your batteries need a good recharge.It is also hard having the family split and being a strong shoulder for your friend,no wonder you are feeling a bit low.Try to be a bit easier on yourself and it will all get easier soon I hope.

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I would love to hear from those who have been back for a year and how they have settled. I am five months in and have hit the wall of honeymoon period over and excitement of returning settling and now have to get on with real life. It is really cold and grey at the moment and family are still split so feeling miserable and missing the sunshine (not the heat)

 

All our stuff arrived last week and while that was exciting to have our precious things back it has been a huge lot of work and like trying to fit 2 pints into a half pint pot. I figure moving in the first place was tough and I worked hard to settle and get everything sorted for family there which involved lots of compromise and hard work. Here everything is falling into place nicely workwise and educationally it couldn't be better - moneywise great as well - but I still have the collywobbles and occassionally have to go into the next town which is bloody grotty and I wonder if we have done the right thing ( in my heart I know we have but the re-adjustment is harder than I imagined it would be).

 

Also my BF has cancer which has knocked us all for six and the great fun we were planning together has been blighted by treatments etc...

 

I know what a whiner I am - so those who are tempted please don't have a go - just hoping that some of you have been through this and come out the other side.

 

Hi Mrs Indecision, all I can offer is that, if you can, take the time to transport yourself, in your mind, to the time before you returned and try to remember the feelings you had then about wanting to go back to the UK. It wasn't a mistake to return if everything is falling into place. I imagine it's the weather and it's the family being split and it's your friend's condition that are giving you the collywobbles not being back in the UK? I don't know if you remember my situation, but I am at the beginning stages of coming back. I have the collywobbles every third day about returning but know in my heart that it's for the best. I am not long off the phone to my sister and daughter in Scotland and even they are feeling down because of the weather! Hang on in there.. it will be Spring before you know it! Also, you are there for your friend and not across the other side of the world, which is a blessing. I will have similiar when I come back as my sister has recently been diagnosed with cancer too (the sister that I was going to do so many things with and go so many places with).... but I am glad that I will just be there for her instead.

 

Hope you feel 'better' soon. :hug:

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:hug:It isnt just the move for you, it is all those other things that happen when your kids get older - it can take some adjustment to be an (almost) empty nester! I cannot imagine the angst of helping a mate through a horrid illness in the midst of all your turmoil as well - that's the icing on a not so nice tasting cake I would imagine. Having just returned to the "half life" I can assure you that life here is just the same - you still have to do the washing up, pick up the dog poop, put the rubbish out and deal with halfwits at every turn. Havent had a real laugh since I left UK and feel the drearyness seeping into my soul.

 

Wont your big lad be home soon? I am sure that will help a lot and you will have a real Christmas to be together even if you are slaving over a hot stove to get the turkey and trimmings done. As FF said, you have been the absolute rock in your family and being a foundation can be so difficult when everyone else's weight lands firmly on you.

:hug:

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Hi I am feeling a bit wishy washy too, we've been back home for 5 months and you're right that the honeymoon period is wearing off. Everyday I remind myself of how much more of a full life I have here compared to Sydney. But I also remind myself that in 10 years who knows maybe we can have another adventure. I sometimes fall into extreme thinking that I will never live anywhere different again and remind myself there may be other adventures in the future but Australia isn't all it's cracked up to be anyways.

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Thanks everyone for your support - it really does make a difference - and we are getting to know each others' journeys which paints a more rounded picture.

 

Yes my eldest comes home on Friday and I cant wait - he has an interview for medicine at Imperial in January which is great - my middle one comes home on saturday and our Aussie house guest returns as well. The empty nest syndrome is really tough and my daughter at home is probably getting too much of my attention - I am watching her like a hawk to make sure she is OK and settling - it has been hard for her too not just the move but being without her big brothers.

 

The sad thing about my friend is that she is very popular person and has so many people offering her help I am not sure where I fit in with this any more - after all I have been gone for three years and in that time she has built up a closer relationship with one or two others. Also she knows how hard I am finding it to settle and I know that will be hard for her to see me struggling especially with her news - so right now she just needs to focus on herself and her family. I just miss her dreadfully and we are all hurting so much at what the future will hold for her.

 

You have an idea of how life will be when you get back all shopping trips and lunches and then this news comes along and everything is changed - life becomes about treatments and prognosis and bucket lists. There for the grace of god... etc.

 

Quoll thanks for support - sorry no belly laughs in Oz - maybe Caramac and I should skype see if we can give you a laugh. Just been talking to my friend in Oz where the rain hasn't stopped and the humidity is unbearable. This wobble isn't about going back to Oz but really some of the real life struggles in moving forward. I always said it would take a year and realise I was right.

 

Thanks everyone - this online community does really help.

 

xx

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