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Flake

Moving Back to the UK- Bringing my Aussie Guy with me

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Hi All,

 

I am currently starting to research the move back to the UK.

 

Any advice or information would be great, because I do not know where to start!!

 

 

My Partner is Aussie, so i was wondering what we will have to do in terms of a visa for him- ( we will have lived together for 2.5 years by the time we return)

 

Also with international moving, is it worth moving furniture or cost wise is it better off to get rid and start again in the UK?

 

How do we go about Job Applications?

 

we are not looking to move back until early 2012 as he is finishing his CA, but im sure it will come around quickly.

 

 

I do love sydney but with his family being here we will always be coming back for visits! ...I hope!

 

thanks for any advice

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so my last post was about returning to the UK and bringing my aussie guy with me. However with new shades of light it seems this may no be all that realistic.. he feels it is not fair to expect him to go when i have not given Australia a fair enough go. Any advice from fellow poms? should I cut my losses or stick it out the hope that one day he will come with.............. :(

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Ah, how badly do you want to go back to UK? Do you want to spend the rest of your days with this bloke if it means that you never return to UK?

 

As one trapped in Aus (he reneged on a promise to return with me if I didnt like it - but as he made that promise to my mum on our wedding day 37 years ago he has rather forgotten that he ever said it!) I'd say you need to be very sure that you accept that this is potentially a lifelong decision because as soon as you start having kids then he can essentially dictate where you live. However if this is the one you want to grow old with then perhaps you have to accept that you will be living as an alien for the rest of your days.

 

Good luck with your decision, it wont be an easy one I suspect.

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Thanks Quoll.

 

In truth I cannot commit to spending my life here however I do not know how I can walk away from what is a perfect relationship in every other way. what a pickle.

 

How have you coped with being here for 37 years? was your heart ever in it?

I have only been here for 15 months and the idea of even being here for the next year is driving me crazy. I think my wanting to return so badly has been hurtful to him, which is why he has had the change of heart. (I think he was humoring me, in the hope it would go away eventually) he tells me that that the main objection he has is that I have come to this decision by myself and the decision for him to move overseas should have been an organic natural decision made by both of us, but I have forced the issue, which in turn has opened up a can of worms.

I cannot help but feel that he never had any real intention of moving overseas and that he was just hoping I would settle in to Australian Life in the meantime.

 

I guess time will dictate the cards on this one, thats if I can hold it together and I dont jump ship first.

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Thanks Quoll.

 

In truth I cannot commit to spending my life here however I do not know how I can walk away from what is a perfect relationship in every other way. what a pickle.

 

How have you coped with being here for 37 years? was your heart ever in it?

I have only been here for 15 months and the idea of even being here for the next year is driving me crazy. I think my wanting to return so badly has been hurtful to him, which is why he has had the change of heart. (I think he was humoring me, in the hope it would go away eventually) he tells me that that the main objection he has is that I have come to this decision by myself and the decision for him to move overseas should have been an organic natural decision made by both of us, but I have forced the issue, which in turn has opened up a can of worms.

I cannot help but feel that he never had any real intention of moving overseas and that he was just hoping I would settle in to Australian Life in the meantime.

 

I guess time will dictate the cards on this one, thats if I can hold it together and I dont jump ship first.

 

I didnt mind it for the first 10 years because I could see it as an adventure and "knew" it was only temporary and the second 10 were taken up by raising the family and getting their education sorted. It's only this last 10 years when I thought we were on the same page with at least sharing our home countries equally - that I discovered he had no such intentions. So, latterly, all the plans I had for retirement have gone out of the window somewhat. I admit that resentment does simmer from time to time but we have a compromise situation which sort of makes it do-able for me. He wants to go and live in the bush on 40 acres being self sufficient against the day that civilization collapses but his compromise is that we live in town instead - and works to support my habit:biglaugh:

 

At the end of the day, life with him where I dont want to be is significantly more palatable than life without him where I do want to be.

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Guest chloew

Have you been back to the UK since you have been in Australia? Maybe plan an extended trip back, this will give you a chance to see if you really want to go back or if you want to be here. As Quoll says, you need to make a choice...........if you are meant to be together then one of you will need to make a sacrifice. 15 months is quite along time to be somewhere you don't want to be, but 15 months could soon become 15 years...........

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At the end of the day, life with him where I dont want to be is significantly more palatable than life without him where I do want to be.

Quoll, I must be getting hormonal or sentimental or whatever because that last sentence of your has made me cry.

Val x

 

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Thank you for your insights. Your reputation on Poms in Oz beholds you! its great stuff!!

 

Your last statement has definitely put some things into perspective for me.

I think i need to question why being in the UK holds more precedence for me...

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I have been back once for 3 weeks,( I have been here about 15 months) he could not go with me due to work, at first I missed him alot and thought that maybe Australia was OK.. but then I started to remember why I love England so much, I felt happy and secure. The only thing that was missing was the fact he wasn't there. that was the only thing I missed.

 

I certainly do need to make a decision, I think my time frame will be one more year. He is currently studying. When he has finished that if he decides to stay rather than return with me then that is how its meant to play out. If I stay Until then at least if nothing else I will know I have done everything I should have to make it work.

 

sorry i didnt reply sooner, I am new to this forum and keep missing things!

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