Guest koala12 Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 How To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according tolights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas. *********************** How To Shower Like a Man Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohican. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 how true ,,lol Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazy Cow Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 If you see partner along theway, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.quote] Loved it all..but that bit specially!!:biglaugh::embarrassed::biglaugh::biglaugh: LC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fishbone Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 That is brilliant! :notworthy:Already put it in a text and sent it all I know!:biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazy Cow Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 Er..I'm technologically retarded..how do you do that? Did you have to actually type it? Yours stupidly' date='[/color'] LC :notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kimdownie Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 :shocked: OH MY GOD......have you been watching all that time???, :embarrassed: Where have you hidden the camera???, I cant find it ....Ive looked everywhere!!!:skeptical: .... What....you mean to tell me that we are not the only ones that behave like this????:unsure: PHEW......WHAT A RELIEF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynne2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 What a cracker Karen that was just fantastic :biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ryan, Rachel & Beth Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 You mean like this Karen??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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