29 years and still want to go back to UK!

[Guest Brisvegasgirl]

Greetings one and all...so glad I found this site as now realise I am not alone!!!

I was born in the UK and moved to Australia with my family when I was 7. Always feeling unsettled and wanting to return to England, I moved back when I was 17 to live with my Grandparents, study and work. In those teenage years I was torn between loving my life in the UK but missing my family back home, so I ping ponged between the two before meeting my Aussie husband on one of my many trips back to Auz and have been here ever since apart from 5 trips back since we got married to visit my friends and Grandparents and to show my 4 kids that part of the world. However I have always longed to go back to live in the UK and now more than ever I am so homesick and wishing we could just pack up everything and spend some time living as a family in England. As they say 'Home is where the heart is' and although I have a home and family here England will always be home to me. Of course most people don't understand (apart from Mum) and think I am mad for wanting to live in cold old England where the cost of living and unemployement is so high...but when I go back I always feel HOME!

I always get more homesick when I watch episodes of Location Location on Foxtel...like today! This brought up the 'Let's go live in England' topic again...and hubby said if he had a job to go to then he would consider it! I have my own home based travel business with a UK based global company Travel Counsellors so I am able to set up in the UK or just find work in a Travel agency if need be.

My eldest daughter (9) is keen to make the move but obviously has no understanding as to what it would mean. I have to consider the kids otherwise I would be doing exactly what my parents did to me and tearing them between two countries.

Also my parents are getting older and I would have the problem Mum has had with being so far away from elderly parents.

Is it worth just going back for a few years with the intention of returning to AUZ...or do I just have to accept I am trapped here by circumstances...which is a horrible feeling.

I hate the heat here in Auz...and miss the seasons and cold weather of the UK too!

Anyway...just venting! :SLEEP:

[Guest JulieW]

I would say go for it now while the children are young enough to spend some time there and come back (if you want to) before differing school systems make it too hard. Experiencing life in a different country is so good for children and you also obviously need to spend some time in the UK. Once your eldest gets to 15 or so it all gets so much harder. Good luck. BTW, I'm not sure the cost of living is so much higher in the UK any more. I was there recently and most things seemed cheaper, apart from petrol.

[Quoll]

Add me to the list of go-for-it-ers. When you know you are trapped, all the little niggles and resentments come to the fore and it gets harder to get through every day. I came here with an Aussie husband 31 years and 5 months (tomorrow) and would go back in a heartbeat but he wont move and I wont move without him. I wish I had been more proactive and actively sought to move before we got stuck with kids at schools etc. As it is, one of my kids has emigrated back to UK and isnt likely to come to Aus in the foreseeable future.

[Guest Brisvegasgirl]

Thanks for your thoughts - such a tough decision...if it were just me I would go in a heartbeat but I have a OH and family to think of so not as easy as I want it to be.

[Quoll]

Thanks for your thoughts - such a tough decision...if it were just me I would go in a heartbeat but I have a OH and family to think of so not as easy as I want it to be.

 

No, it isnt an easy decision and I guess it all comes down to how comfortable are you with being the sacrificial lamb in your family. Its something you have to be pretty strong to deal with.

[scousers]

In exactly the same situation, i came here 22 years ago, i would like to go back also, but do you upset the family life here. My parents came here 15 years ago but i think they would have a much better life over there. They dont have anyone but us here? Oh, what to do? I do love the hot weather and beaches, but find OZ boring and getting more so

[Guest spongebob]

moving family whichever way is a huge decision. I am wanting to emigrate to OZ with my two children who are 11 and 9. The reasons I want to move to OZ is that:

* It is cold and wet here alot so doing activities is expensive. Doing activities outdoors is dependent on the weather. We have been on holiday in Dorset for 2 weeks and we have had 2 sunny but cold days in that time. Swimming is £3.75 upwards depending on the pool. Parking is expensive. Indoor play areas are about £6 per child. Cinema is about £8. With the recession these activities soon add up. So for me it would be nice to go to a park with free parking, beach which is free with free parking, bike riding, roller blading, swimming, surfing which are free (unless have lessons) and the weather is warm enough to do it.

* I want a better quality of life for my kids. The quality of life here is good but not so many jobs so for young people it is getting harder to get jobs without a degree. The school system is currently changing so the kids now stay on til they are 18. There is a lot of homework here even for kids who are 9. My daughter has 15 mins reading everyday, 15 spellings a week, a topic piece of homework, numeracy piece of homework plus a literacy piece per week. Most comprehensives now choose options in yr 8 not year 9 as they take 3 years studying for GCSE's. It is hard to get into uni here, on the news some boy had 6 A levels (3 x A* and 3 x A's) and couldn't get a place. I don't want my kids doing nothing but homework, having the level of competitiveness (ie. if not in top set, not good enough) anymore.

* Better health is another issue. I thought being in OZ we would lead a healthier lifestyle and eating habits. I know lots of healthy people in the UK. But my friend runs every week and lots of time its in the cold and rain (completely mad!) So she also goes to the gym which costs alot of money. It is also cheaper to eat unhealthily in the UK than it is to eat healthily. We import most of our fruit and veg which means its expensive. Having chatted to a friend on poms the fruit and veg is twice the price. Mc Donalds is cheaper here than in OZ so kids will be happy.

* Employment. Employment here is becoming difficult to find. A friend in Kent has been out of work for 3 years. My OH is employed but his firm are making 3000 redundant at the end of the year. Although he is safe at the moment he has been on employment agents with his CV for three years. Initially he had some interviews but they were paying a lot less, it wasn't what he wanted or he wasn't what they wanted. (total 5 interviews) Since then no jobs are around in his field. Whereas there are supposedly jobs in OZ as on the shortage list.

* Houses cheaper in OZ. House prices are coming down in the UK and I think there are some nice houses up for sale. If we sold our house for £270 and moved to Cambridge (where his jobs would be) we could afford a 2 bed flat. In Wales (where jobs would be) a 3 bed terrace with no drive or garage. Looking at some areas and there are houses we may be able to afford. (I hope!)

 

* family and friends. These are the hardest to leave whichever way you go. Make up your mind why you want to move (something whatever "negatives" people tell you won't change your mind") and stick to it. After all, if you were moving to the other side of OZ the effect would be the same just that the UK is a slightly longer plane ride! Anyway if your parents become ill, you can always fly back. There is internet (very good in the UK), facebook etc so no need to lose touch.

 

don't get me wrong, the UK is a fab place with great TV (at times!), countryside etc. Just trying to give you my personal views, not start a OZ verse UK argument. My OH has 3 OZZIES working with him who love the UK. (one came cos his wife didn't like OZ and missed her family, one came cos OZ was too hot and the third came cos he could live in the rural areas and still get to the city easily). One thing I would say, is that if you are coming to the UK try to come before your eldest needs to start senior school (YR 7) so that when in yr 8 she/he can make informed option choices.

 

Hope this helps!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU THINK ITS A MIDLIFE CRISIS THING????? GET TO A POINT WE ALL WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT? BEEN IN UK 40 YEARS, WANT SOMETHING NEW, LETS MOVE TO OZ! OR BEEN IN OZ 30 YEARS LETS DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND DO THE UK!!!

Jennie

[Quoll]

Oh dear, spongebob, you are in for a few surprises. Housing being the first - everything is really expensive here and the interest rates are high for mortgages. Kids still go to school until 17 and then you need a degree (with fee debt) to sweep the streets. The hot weather can be just as depressing and debilitating as the cold - you can rug up against the cold but the hot can be a killer and you spend all day in airconditioning to escape from it - and growing your own in a vegi plot gets to be more of a chore when you have to continually water (if there is any water to water with). There has been some discussion on here, too, about the "well its only a day away by plane" myth as well - a day by plane and an airfare of about $4000pp if you need it in a hurry, plus negotiate for weeks off work, travel to and from the airport etc. - a situation beyond many a family who are working two jobs to service the mortgage.

 

However, if you want to do it because you want the adventure (not the "better life for the kids" cop out) then go for it but just work out what you are prepared to gamble with

[Guest Leelika]

Brivegasgirl...

 

...oh dear, don't take me wrong, but I would swap places with you in a heartbeat ! I'm dying to move to Oz, but I understand very well what it means to be away from friends, family and the life you are used to.

 

It's been almost three years I'm living in UK and the only reason I'm here is my husband ( he is British) and I understand the sacrifice about living in a place that is not part of your heart... I understand your feelings...

 

I come from a hot ( very hot) country and my life in UK is not easy at all... struggled to find a job ( and doing something that I don't enjoy), high prices for everything and this nightmare weather, which is the worst for me... I miss the daily hot sun "kissing" my face every morning, the sound of the waves I was used to hear back home... I miss the heat... the sun... I miss so many small things ! Small things like wearing summer dresses, flip flops and lots of tropical fruits ... miss the beautiful tan I don't have anymore... I miss the outdoors active lifestyle I had... the sun gives you energy... but here in UK I'm miserably stuck indoors most of the time, cos I can't cope with this weather...

 

You might be asking now why I don't go away then ? Well, I'm trying to ! As I said, I'm here because I fell in love and married a lovely british man, who wants to leave this country as much as I do. We can't come back to my home country cause my husband doesn't speak the language and the work he does over here, doesn't even exists there ( NVQ thing)... so that's why we are trying to go to Oz... cause there my husband and I will both will be able to work and I will be able to have my beloved Sun, heat and beaches back. So I'm putting the hopes for a better life in Australia... and I'm praying to God help us to get there.

 

I know it's hard for you... because it's the same for me. The only difference is that we want the opposite things...

 

I hope you find your way home... wherever your home really is...

Take care...

God Bless...

[Guest chris955]

Oh dear, spongebob, you are in for a few surprises. Housing being the first - everything is really expensive here and the interest rates are high for mortgages.

 

Sorry about taking this off topic but seriously Spongebob you have really been badly misinformed.

Fruit and veg twice as much in the UK, absolute crap, in fact much of it is cheaper. I think you will find that most fruit and veg isn't actually imported but even the stuff that is definitely isn't expensive. It seems to be a common misconception that the UK is expensive and Australia is cheap, that is no longer the case.

McDonalds is much cheaper here, that is why we have the obesity issues we have.

Our kids are 9 and do loads of homework with more coming all the time.

Housing is very expensive here, many first time buyers just can't get onto the ladder unless they move well away from the cities.

There are many many great things about this country but honestly lots of the things you say just aren't accurate I'm afraid. Please don't come here expecting it to be cheap as it isn't. Come here for the change or the adventure.

[allthatmullarkey]

sorry spongebob you are most definately misinformed, from food to housing to schooling and jobs.

I am fortunate that I am in a job that is in demand but my husband has been laid off from his job and it is very difficult to find anything unless you have blue card, white card this training that training we found it abolutely crazy here.

As for schooling I have found it to be of poorer quality here and yes homework everynight just like the UK.

Just like you we thought it only a plane ride away but the reality is very different the time the cost involved, I get fewer holidays here than I did in the UK. I guess the only thing we will miss in oz is the friends we have made (mainly poms) and the sun in winter not summer.

Like quoll and chris have said come here for the advernture nothing else.

[Guest thebexta]

There's much to be said for both countries, it all depends on your priorities which place will rock your boat the best. Also some things may appear groovy and fab and then turn out to be not so brill after all - as Quoll was saying, the heat can be a bit of a nitemare, I certainly spend spring with a feeling of dread about the looming inescapable (or so it seems) summer heat, heat that will keep me indoors, be it at home or at the shops or a play centre, BUT the good news is that summer here really does only last 3 mths tops unlike the pommie winter which seems to last forever! And when its over upon reflection I realise there was only a dozen or so real stinkers ....

However - brisvegasgirl, I so sympathise. My OH is aussie, my 2 kids are now aussie and whilst I have my sister here (had my mum too but she's passed away now) I too feel trapped a lot of the time. After 16 years I still pine, not quite on a daily basis but almost and yet all I hear about the Mother country is that its gone to the dogs etc. Whether it has or it hasn't the problem I think "going back" after all these years is that it def will have changed, and won't be quite what we recall. I mean country lanes may be pretty much the same, forest walks etc, but I suspect in many ways it will be unrecognisable. I'm going back for a 6 weeker next year (hopefully!) and I'm also hoping the trip will help to cure me a bit. I doubt it but I live in hope. I feel like I'm in exile. I love so much about this country but its not my home and I am homesick even if my "home" is now only a memory. Likewise I was also super relieved to find this site and find I am not alone!! :v_SPIN:

My secret cunning plan (which hubbie is actually completely in the know about and very benign about it thinking it will never happen!) is to have a secondment/sabbatical, whatever, in a few years time, for a year or two. I like the sound of ure home biz, wish I had similar that could transfer! Lots of ppl come over here on a work sponsorship just for 2 or 4 years - you could do the same, or similar, just v.v. Theres no rules saying you have to stay put in any one country - praps even when the kids have left school you could do 6 mths here and 6 mths there. Best of luck anyway with your choices, chin up bucko! :hug:

[Guest KG1978]

Hi all, just want to add my two cents to the Oz v UK debate when it comes to cost of living. UK is cheaper! Esp for supermarket food.

I'm an Australian, been living in the UK for four years, came home to get my visa, been here nearly a year now and absolutely cannot believe how much money I'm burning through! There is more competition in the UK, greater choice, and it's all much cheaper. Can't wait to get back to London in a few weeks!:wink:

[Guest KG1978]

PS ... and don't even get me started on the cost of broadband/phone/tv!

We just got Sky with phone and internet for something like £28 a month in UK. Think we can get that all for $45 a month here? You'd be having a laugh

[Guest chris955]

I do find it quite bewildering when I read a post from someone in the UK telling how expensive everything is, it clearly isn't, it's not an opinion but when you can look on the internet it becomes a fact. :wink:

[Guest guest36762]

Hi all, just want to add my two cents to the Oz v UK debate when it comes to cost of living. UK is cheaper! Esp for supermarket food.

I'm an Australian, been living in the UK for four years, came home to get my visa, been here nearly a year now and absolutely cannot believe how much money I'm burning through! There is more competition in the UK, greater choice, and it's all much cheaper. Can't wait to get back to London in a few weeks!:wink:

I agree, having just been on hols in france (ridiculously cheap) then England: very cheap compared to aus for groceries, clothes and there's more choice......yeah I know here you can get a hungarian salami (aussie made), or 59 types of tuna but who cares....give me a ginsters and a sainsbury's takeaway, accompanied by some french wine thanks.

the whole contract thing with phone/broadband here (usually min 2 year lock in) is extracting the urine frankly.

come on Tesco, sort the buggers out

[mrsindecision]

PS ... and don't even get me started on the cost of broadband/phone/tv!

We just got Sky with phone and internet for something like £28 a month in UK. Think we can get that all for $45 a month here? You'd be having a laugh

 

I was paying over $300 per month in Oz 32 quid here.

[Guest Lorac64]

moving family whichever way is a huge decision. I am wanting to emigrate to OZ with my two children who are 11 and 9. The reasons I want to move to OZ is that:

* It is cold and wet here alot so doing activities is expensive. Doing activities outdoors is dependent on the weather. We have been on holiday in Dorset for 2 weeks and we have had 2 sunny but cold days in that time. Swimming is £3.75 upwards depending on the pool. Parking is expensive. Indoor play areas are about £6 per child. Cinema is about £8. With the recession these activities soon add up. So for me it would be nice to go to a park with free parking, beach which is free with free parking, bike riding, roller blading, swimming, surfing which are free (unless have lessons) and the weather is warm enough to do it.

* I want a better quality of life for my kids. The quality of life here is good but not so many jobs so for young people it is getting harder to get jobs without a degree. The school system is currently changing so the kids now stay on til they are 18. There is a lot of homework here even for kids who are 9. My daughter has 15 mins reading everyday, 15 spellings a week, a topic piece of homework, numeracy piece of homework plus a literacy piece per week. Most comprehensives now choose options in yr 8 not year 9 as they take 3 years studying for GCSE's. It is hard to get into uni here, on the news some boy had 6 A levels (3 x A* and 3 x A's) and couldn't get a place. I don't want my kids doing nothing but homework, having the level of competitiveness (ie. if not in top set, not good enough) anymore.

* Better health is another issue. I thought being in OZ we would lead a healthier lifestyle and eating habits. I know lots of healthy people in the UK. But my friend runs every week and lots of time its in the cold and rain (completely mad!) So she also goes to the gym which costs alot of money. It is also cheaper to eat unhealthily in the UK than it is to eat healthily. We import most of our fruit and veg which means its expensive. Having chatted to a friend on poms the fruit and veg is twice the price. Mc Donalds is cheaper here than in OZ so kids will be happy.

* Employment. Employment here is becoming difficult to find. A friend in Kent has been out of work for 3 years. My OH is employed but his firm are making 3000 redundant at the end of the year. Although he is safe at the moment he has been on employment agents with his CV for three years. Initially he had some interviews but they were paying a lot less, it wasn't what he wanted or he wasn't what they wanted. (total 5 interviews) Since then no jobs are around in his field. Whereas there are supposedly jobs in OZ as on the shortage list.

* Houses cheaper in OZ. House prices are coming down in the UK and I think there are some nice houses up for sale. If we sold our house for £270 and moved to Cambridge (where his jobs would be) we could afford a 2 bed flat. In Wales (where jobs would be) a 3 bed terrace with no drive or garage. Looking at some areas and there are houses we may be able to afford. (I hope!)

 

* family and friends. These are the hardest to leave whichever way you go. Make up your mind why you want to move (something whatever "negatives" people tell you won't change your mind") and stick to it. After all, if you were moving to the other side of OZ the effect would be the same just that the UK is a slightly longer plane ride! Anyway if your parents become ill, you can always fly back. There is internet (very good in the UK), facebook etc so no need to lose touch.

 

don't get me wrong, the UK is a fab place with great TV (at times!), countryside etc. Just trying to give you my personal views, not start a OZ verse UK argument. My OH has 3 OZZIES working with him who love the UK. (one came cos his wife didn't like OZ and missed her family, one came cos OZ was too hot and the third came cos he could live in the rural areas and still get to the city easily). One thing I would say, is that if you are coming to the UK try to come before your eldest needs to start senior school (YR 7) so that when in yr 8 she/he can make informed option choices.

 

Hope this helps!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU THINK ITS A MIDLIFE CRISIS THING????? GET TO A POINT WE ALL WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT? BEEN IN UK 40 YEARS, WANT SOMETHING NEW, LETS MOVE TO OZ! OR BEEN IN OZ 30 YEARS LETS DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND DO THE UK!!!

Jennie

Have just recently come back from Oz. We have 4 children and did a reccie on everything. My goodness, did we have our eyes opened. It was more expensive for us to live in Oz than it was to stay in the UK. We did note that many couples had 1 or 2 children - no more. I understand why Australian parents only have 2 children. We could not afford to live in Oz. I love the lifestyle but our children were bored. I suspect if we had emigrated earlier it would have been easier. I have to say that there is much more going on in the UK overall than there was in Oz. We pondered upon this point and we thought perhaps it was because the country was so big. The UK is very small in comparison and towns and cities are more accessible. I guess the adventure of life is entirely up to you. Now that we have made a decision - i.e. staying in the UK - we have started to make our own life changes. Oz is a lovely country and the people were wonderful - and I really mean that. However, in the long run, I guess it depends where you are in life (age) and what you want to do. Nowhere is perfect. Only you can make a difference.

[Guest guest36762]

Have just recently come back from Oz. We have 4 children and did a reccie on everything. My goodness, did we have our eyes opened. It was more expensive for us to live in Oz than it was to stay in the UK. We did note that many couples had 1 or 2 children - no more. I understand why Australian parents only have 2 children. We could not afford to live in Oz. I love the lifestyle but our children were bored. I suspect if we had emigrated earlier it would have been easier. I have to say that there is much more going on in the UK overall than there was in Oz. We pondered upon this point and we thought perhaps it was because the country was so big. The UK is very small in comparison and towns and cities are more accessible. I guess the adventure of life is entirely up to you. Now that we have made a decision - i.e. staying in the UK - we have started to make our own life changes. Oz is a lovely country and the people were wonderful - and I really mean that. However, in the long run, I guess it depends where you are in life (age) and what you want to do. Nowhere is perfect. Only you can make a difference.

good on you for making what sounds like a very sensible decision, and actually quite a brave one to reverse the seemingly unstoppable urge to seek that fabled better lifestyle in aus. Sure you can live in a bigger house near the beach, but you are far removed from family, friends and many other things we take for granted, all of which makes for a poorer quality of life

[Guest bexs72]

I am from Scotland and have been in Australia now for 4 years and I hate it. Came here with my Australian partner as I was pregnant and he wanted to raise his kid in Australia the agreement was we'd go and if it didn't work out we'd go back to Scotland. Got here and that was it after about a year of being miserable was told to snap out of it as I was NEVER living back in Scotland as he would never give permission for me to take the kids out of the country ( I have since had another child ) so here I am - trapped in a country I despise which to me is so backward it's not funny - the fruit and vegetables here ARE dearer your welfare and health system is a joke (paying for an ambulance - who the hell does that! - no proper maternity leave! ) I could go on and on and on about the crapness of Australia if you do decide to move to UK yes some things are dearer thats true but the good outweighs the bad tenfold especially if you go to the Highlands of Scotland where I am from it is heaven and I am stuck in hell!!!!

 

Also on the cost of living I bought myself a book the other day bought it online in the UK and got it posted over here to Oz and it was still cheaper doing that than buying the book here!!! this is not a one off I buy everything I need practically online and get it sent over. No-one complains about the cost of living over here cos most Australians have no idea how backward and how much they are getting ripped off over here. My advice to any Australian is MOVE spend some time overseas anywhere and you will see how rubbish Australia is and how you are being conned every single day.

[Guest famousfive]

:hug::hug:You are in a very sad situation and my heart goes out to you,I cannot imagine being in such a position but sadly it seems to be quite common.My best friend since childhood has been through a similar situation as this in Perth.She married an aussie,came to live here for a while,did not work out too good for them,moved back to ireland but the marriage was rocky.He wanted to move to Oz again and despite me begging her not to take the chance she moved again in a last ditch bid to save the marriage.Sadly within 2mths of landing here he moved out.She is now stuck in a country she has no love for,with two kids to raise on her own,no family,few friends and little support.She struggles financially and he is of little help.He will not let her leave with the kids but he rarely sees them either.Sad,sad life to live.

 

I do not have any words that would console you in any way i'm afraid,but you will be in my thoughts.

[Guest bexs72]

:hug::hug:You are in a very sad situation and my heart goes out to you,I cannot imagine being in such a position but sadly it seems to be quite common.My best friend since childhood has been through a similar situation as this in Perth.She married an aussie,came to live here for a while,did not work out too good for them,moved back to ireland but the marriage was rocky.He wanted to move to Oz again and despite me begging her not to take the chance she moved again in a last ditch bid to save the marriage.Sadly within 2mths of landing here he moved out.She is now stuck in a country she has no love for,with two kids to raise on her own,no family,few friends and little support.She struggles financially and he is of little help.He will not let her leave with the kids but he rarely sees them either.Sad,sad life to live.

 

I do not have any words that would console you in any way i'm afraid,but you will be in my thoughts.

Thank you for your kind words I am still believe it or not with my partner though to be honest as each day passes I think my love grows less just because I get so angry toward him that I am in this position and he will not let me leave - I have no friends that are not his I tell my family all is well just because I know they worry and my mother has a bad heart and I don't want to add to her stress. I recently joined the gym and I am liking that just for an outlet for my angry and frustration if nothing else but am limited in when I can get there with the kids plus I don't drive but am working on that one too. I keep thinking when I learn to drive and lose some weight I will feel happier and more confident to maybe get out there and make friends I just don't feel right now able to make the effort my angry toward my situation has turned a bit into self hate for "letting" myself get into this situation so i'd say I am a work in progress! sorry from detracting from the whole thread of this but I am feel pretty angry today it's my birthday and I am stuck at home as my partner has left to a wedding I was not invited too and I don't know if he will be coming back tonight as we argued this morning!!

[Guest KG1978]

Thank you for your kind words I am still believe it or not with my partner though to be honest as each day passes I think my love grows less just because I get so angry toward him that I am in this position and he will not let me leave - I have no friends that are not his I tell my family all is well just because I know they worry and my mother has a bad heart and I don't want to add to her stress. I recently joined the gym and I am liking that just for an outlet for my angry and frustration if nothing else but am limited in when I can get there with the kids plus I don't drive but am working on that one too. I keep thinking when I learn to drive and lose some weight I will feel happier and more confident to maybe get out there and make friends I just don't feel right now able to make the effort my angry toward my situation has turned a bit into self hate for "letting" myself get into this situation so i'd say I am a work in progress! sorry from detracting from the whole thread of this but I am feel pretty angry today it's my birthday and I am stuck at home as my partner has left to a wedding I was not invited too and I don't know if he will be coming back tonight as we argued this morning!!

 

Oh my god! Happy birthday! I really hope you can find some time to do something nice for yourself today. Make yourself some birthday cake!

Australia really is a fantastic place, I promise you, and it sounds like your unhappiness in other areas is colouring your perception of it. Good on you for doing what you can to make yourself happier. Once you can make some friends here (of course there are some idiots, like everywhere, but there are great people too) it will make the world of difference.

But of course Australa is not for everyone, and people usually prefer what they grew up with. I love both Australia and the UK, there is good and bad in both, and I hope to be able to ping pong between the two for the rest of my life (but I don't have kids). You are really in my thoughts, and I hope you choose to focus on the happiness in your life here. All the best.

[ramot]

Happy birthday from me as well. Hope the birthday wishes from other pomsinoz members will help you feel better.

[Quoll]

I am from Scotland and have been in Australia now for 4 years and I hate it. Came here with my Australian partner as I was pregnant and he wanted to raise his kid in Australia the agreement was we'd go and if it didn't work out we'd go back to Scotland. Got here and that was it after about a year of being miserable was told to snap out of it as I was NEVER living back in Scotland as he would never give permission for me to take the kids out of the country ( I have since had another child ) so here I am - trapped in a country I despise which to me is so backward it's not funny - the fruit and vegetables here ARE dearer your welfare and health system is a joke (paying for an ambulance - who the hell does that! - no proper maternity leave! ) I could go on and on and on about the crapness of Australia if you do decide to move to UK yes some things are dearer thats true but the good outweighs the bad tenfold especially if you go to the Highlands of Scotland where I am from it is heaven and I am stuck in hell!!!!

 

Also on the cost of living I bought myself a book the other day bought it online in the UK and got it posted over here to Oz and it was still cheaper doing that than buying the book here!!! this is not a one off I buy everything I need practically online and get it sent over. No-one complains about the cost of living over here cos most Australians have no idea how backward and how much they are getting ripped off over here. My advice to any Australian is MOVE spend some time overseas anywhere and you will see how rubbish Australia is and how you are being conned every single day.

 

 

:hug: you have to be in one of the hardest positions of any of us - being trapped here by a bloody minded Australian is the pits and to have no freedom because you have kids is just another bit of icing on a very bitter cake. My sympathies, for whilst I am in a similar position, my boys are grown and gone and I can go home for holidays every year - better than nothing but still not enough.