Teenage son refusing to go - is education that poor?

[Guest walford58]

Hi

I've read a number of the threads about teenagers and their foibles. We are fairly early down the road to migration, and due to age it has to be on ENS or 457.

Our extended family is not very close so our move may not have a great impact on them. However it's the children who are the problem.

Our 18 yr old daughter is going to uni in September and doesn't want to come. As she's effectively leaving home we don't have much issue with that, and she's even starting to try to be less dependent on us for the basics such as cooking and cleaning.

Our son is 15 and although 2 years ago he was more than happy about a move, is now refusing point blank to consider it, saying we must wait until he's 18. Normally we wouldn't consider a move for him at this stage in his education, but although he is very bright and capable of excellent grades, he doesn't see the point of school, and the school has done very little to dispel this. He also doesn't want to leave his friends behind.

 

The opportunities for migration will become less as we get older, so to wait another 3 years to meet his "demands" is unreasonable. However are they just demands based on teenage uncertainty or is it really a bad move?

 

His nature is such that he seems to be popular in lots of things he takes part in, so I have no worries about his making friends, but since the education system in the UK seems to have failed him, is the Australian system really that much worse?

 

There are lots of things done or not done in life that we regret, but I don't want to resent any of them.

 

I'd appreciate any opinions. Thanks

 

Pete

[Guest The Ropey HOFF]

Hi Pete

 

i think the REAL question you need to ask yourself is this..........just what will he do when he leaves school. We are the same our 15 year old is well capable but he isn't stupid. He knows that there is a million teenagers out of work here in the uk and its rising. He also knows that going to Uni doeasn't guarantee you a good job, just what is a good job these days?

 

At least in Australia there are good jobs on offer, i have passed for the correctionals service and my starting pay is £25,000 which is £11,000 more than in the uk. They have just agreed a 4 year deal of 4% pay rise, because compared to builders, electricians, carpet fitters, plumbers, £25 to £30,000 isn't as good as these type of jobs and alot of others.

 

Best of luck with what you do, leaving one child behind is hard enough, so all the best.

[Guest walford58]

Hi Helen

My lad has already mapped out some options - initially it was army, but since then it has become studying mechanical engineering. Being the son of an electrical engineer and a science teacher, that's not too surprising. He is concerned about his friends, but although they stay in touch on the internet and text, we rarely see them come to our house. He has just a few very good friends and the rest are more transitory.

 

Getting to uni is becoming tough on the UK. There are so many competing for the same places that finding the right course at the right location is a lottery, and leaves them with a debt, as well as us parents having to pay. Would he be able to go to uni in Oz if we managed to get there?

 

Teenagers have rights to be heard and theirs views to be considered, but I don't believe they have a right to have their own way exclusively at the cost of someone else - no matter what their peers and the media let them think - and until they can reason for themselves and live independent lives, they should have as much consideration for others as they expect to be given to them. But then they are teendangers.

 

I will have to think of ways to sell the concept. Unfortunately, with no sponsor to go to at present, we can't talk about the benefits of any one particular area.

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

Pete

[Guest The Ropey HOFF]

Hi Pete

 

its as though you are describing my son - he has loads of cyber mates and says he doesn't want to go to Australia because he will miss them and his family, but he never really sees them.

 

Heres the rub...............he is 15 and knows nothing about life as an adult and we all want them to be happy but...................we as the adults and the parents make the decisions for our kids, no matter how much it they are against your decision. I don't want to trivialise their thoughts but its tough being a parent and sometimes we have to make the toughest decisions and all i can say is go with your instincts and beliefs and just hope your kids eventually understand just how difficult a decision it was and appreciate the sacrifices you made to give them a better life.

 

The system for going to uni in Oz is different than here and i think you have to be citizenship before your son goes to uni or you will pay over seas fees, which are double i think. I am sure someone will tell you on PIO. Best of luck.

[Guest ashmalog]

If you have pr visa then u don't pay overseas fees for uni.

My friend moved with 3 teenagers and all have settled well, was tough to start with but she made a decision based on her family. I on the other hand moved here with 3 young ones and they have been brill about the move. The eldest turns 13 soon and he has no moans with us for taking him away from friends and family. You have to do what u think is right for ur family.

Wish we had done it years ago

[Guest The Ropey HOFF]

If you have pr visa then u don't pay overseas fees for uni.

My friend moved with 3 teenagers and all have settled well, was tough to start with but she made a decision based on her family. I on the other hand moved here with 3 young ones and they have been brill about the move. The eldest turns 13 soon and he has no moans with us for taking him away from friends and family. You have to do what u think is right for ur family.

Wish we had done it years ago

 

Hi and thanks for this info

 

i hope you are right we got told we would need to be citizens. We have PR status and it would be a fantastic boost if this is correct.

 

Does anyone else know the answer for certain, not saying your wrong. Any links to it anywhere?

[sheryl12]

Hi and thanks for this info

 

i hope you are right we got told we would need to be citizens. We have PR status and it would be a fantastic boost if this is correct.

 

Does anyone else know the answer for certain, not saying your wrong. Any links to it anywhere?

 

 

hi jim, i asked my agent the same question as one of ours wants to go to uni in oz if we get there,she told me that because we will have PR we do not have to pay for her to go, she also said that at the end of her time at uni she will get billed for 8000 dollars and that they take it out of her pay when she starts work!!! thats a lot less than over here with student loans!!!!

 

shez x

[LukeM]

Hello all!!

 

Teenager here, 17 years and 263 days old and counting! :biggrin:

 

Hope I can offer some insight here for you! Because, much like your kids, I was once upon a time, aged just 15 and totally against the idea of emigrating to Australia!

 

But now I am going. It's a scary and exciting time. I've just finished A Levels at a Sixth Form College here in the UK, and I wouldn't mind going to University but I must fill you in further on that... from what I've learnt, having been on these forums for 2 and a half years now(!!) :goofy:

 

University or other tertiary fees (such as those for TAFE), depending upon whether you're a resident or not (as someone else rightly pointed out) you will have to pay "International Student" fees unless you've got Permanent Residency. Even as a Permanent Resident, you would have to pay "Government subsidised" (sometimes referred to as "Domestic") student fees. Those are still pretty high (to do a Diploma, the highest level of qualification at a TAFE institute I believe, you're looking at the top end of $3,000 - nearly $4,000 for a year), but many provide direct entrance routes to University as do the final years of High School as far as I know.

 

Lots of universities require that you pay fees up-front, a semester before when you're only on PR. Also, in most states, you won't get any financial assistance for your student fees, until you have acquired Citizenship. You'll get the opportunity to pay in instalments in most cases with TAFE though.

 

I think the education system in Australia is structured very differently, and from what I have seen having visited several TAFE institutes and Universities, it's a different kettle of fish all together! It's much more "what it is" than the UK's education system!!

 

What you'll notice, is that in the UK, they're trying to crack down with A Levels and stuff to make it harder for people to get into University so only "the best of the best" will get in! It's probably easier to get in as an International student in the UK now, as they have to pay a LOT more so the government like them!!

 

Your son will come around in time. Show him lots of nice pictures and stuff, look for courses and things he could maybe do at TAFE/Uni? Find websites of sports clubs etc if he's into that and show him...!! Kids just need a bit of encouragement. Mine came in the form of watching Wanted Down Under, seeing the houses and the thought of "Oh my word... somewhere like that really exists?!"

 

In fact. Maybe he needs to see it first-hand to find out? I was still shaky, until I got there. It does help if you can find friends online etc or someone here to meet when you get there for a visit so you've got someone who's been through it all to re-assure you!!

 

Good luck! :cool:

 

Luke

[Quoll]

hi jim, i asked my agent the same question as one of ours wants to go to uni in oz if we get there,she told me that because we will have PR we do not have to pay for her to go, she also said that at the end of her time at uni she will get billed for 8000 dollars and that they take it out of her pay when she starts work!!! thats a lot less than over here with student loans!!!!

 

shez x

 

Not quite correct I think. You will definitely have to pay for her to go to uni and with PR you will have to pay upfront by the semester all depending on the course but in the range $4 -10k pa (courses like medicine and law are more expensive) and to get an honours degree which is usually the base level these days will take her 4 years not the 3 that it would in UK. Many subject areas these days are now requiring Masters or some other post grad qualifications and you can easily be up for $10k or more for a Masters even if you are a citizen.

 

As to whether a 15 year old should go with you - heavens knows! Personally I think it better to try and encourage them to get through A levels because then they keep all their options open. If you make them come here - and 15 is the oldest you would want to do that as it becomes much more difficult after that unless they have finished A levels - then you run the real risk of them deciding they want to go back to UK like many of their Aus compatriots and then they will have no qualifications worth speaking about at all. It would also be much more expensive for them to go to a UK university (even if they could with their year 12 results which dont travel too well at all) because not having been resident for 3 years immediately prior to enrolment they would be stung for international fees with no chance of loans.

 

OTOH if the young man in question has already screwed things up in UK it does offer him a bit of a chance to redeem himself but that would be a big gamble as he already doesnt like school and doesnt want to go so would probably not want to throw himself into it just to spite you. By the end of honours he would be essentially equivalent.

[sheryl12]

Not quite correct I think. You will definitely have to pay for her to go to uni and with PR you will have to pay upfront by the semester all depending on the course but in the range $4 -10k pa (courses like medicine and law are more expensive) and to get an honours degree which is usually the base level these days will take her 4 years not the 3 that it would in UK. Many subject areas these days are now requiring Masters or some other post grad qualifications and you can easily be up for $10k or more for a Masters even if you are a citizen.

 

As to whether a 15 year old should go with you - heavens knows! Personally I think it better to try and encourage them to get through A levels because then they keep all their options open. If you make them come here - and 15 is the oldest you would want to do that as it becomes much more difficult after that unless they have finished A levels - then you run the real risk of them deciding they want to go back to UK like many of their Aus compatriots and then they will have no qualifications worth speaking about at all. It would also be much more expensive for them to go to a UK university (even if they could with their year 12 results which dont travel too well at all) because not having been resident for 3 years immediately prior to enrolment they would be stung for international fees with no chance of loans.

 

OTOH if the young man in question has already screwed things up in UK it does offer him a bit of a chance to redeem himself but that would be a big gamble as he already doesnt like school and doesnt want to go so would probably not want to throw himself into it just to spite you. By the end of honours he would be essentially equivalent.

 

 

thanks for that angela, you are such a wealth of knowlege, must have got my wires crossed with the agent,looks like nicole will have to get herself a little job if we ever get over there lol,

 

love shez x x:hug:

[LukeM]

There's more jobs over there than there is here at the moment that's for sure!! :biggrin:

[Guest steve the spark]

 

Teenagers have rights to be heard and theirs views to be considered, but I don't believe they have a right to have their own way exclusively at the cost of someone else - no matter what their peers and the media let them think - and until they can reason for themselves and live independent lives, they should have as much consideration for others as they expect to be given to them.

 

 

 

pretty much spot on

when we were in the final couple of months prior to leaving the Uk our daughter 13 at the time made life hell - "your ruining my life" rants and tears to be honest i severley questioned whether to pack it all in and stay in the UK it was that upsetting, i didnt of course i told her she didnt have an option and that was the end of it ( hard but we saw the chance for a better way of life and took it ) within a couple of weeks of arriving she`d made new freinds and was blown away by what was on offer at school every kid had access to there own PC and she did surfing for PE every wednesday, four years later shes just finished her first semester at uni and i`m sure that if i suggested going back to the uk i`d be in for more that the "your ruining my life" rants and tears

 

now the cost of uni -- depends on the uni and the course, on a PR visa or citizenship you can hex ( goverment loan ) up to 60% of the course fees if you pay up front you get a 20% discount on the fees ( theese are relevant to state uni`s, private ones have their own setups and usually much bigger fees ) for law and criminolagy the courses my daughter is studying its approx $11K a year for 5 years

 

http://www.griffith.edu.au/tuition-fees-charges

 

hope this helps

 

regards steve