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Guest guest36762

New thread about Oz-please contribute and assist my therapy

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Guest guest36762

OK, here we go! Where do I start? Firstly I need to be careful. my wife's a 'Strayan, so I don't want to be too rude. That said......

We'll have been here (Geelong) 2 years in september, so I feel that i speak with some insight. Hopefully by getting this bile out of my system I'll feel much better.

1. Making friends: why is this so bloody difficult? I regard myself as a reasonably normal person (in his late 30's) who likes a laugh. Here I feel like I'm in the land of the living dead! Many of the blokes I've met and socialised with..well, we kind of speak the same language but its like there's nothing there. Irony, what's that? To cap things of, yesterday I met someone who'd been here 43 years, and he's still having difficulty trying to make friends! Gulp.

2. AFL: I find it bizarre and baffling how everyone young and old male and female alike, seems obsessed by this sport which is let's face it, irrelevant outside of Australia. Oh, the looks you get when asked what team 'ya barrack for', and answer NONE ACTUALLY. It's like you've just spat on their mother's grave.

3. Pubs: I had the misfortune of having a beer at a typical Aussie pub the other day. It was like stepping into Hades...walls covered with TV screens, TAB counter, pokies as far as the eye could see, leery blokes (unfortunately some from my ex cricket club). Why not just call it a seedy betting shop (where you also buy ridiculous little pots of beer)? Yes I've been to other pubs less scary than this but I mention it as one of the blokes I was with described it as a 'crusty local'..I had images of a grandfather clock ticking in the corner, a labrador sleeping by the fire, and an old fella in a cloth cap singing to himself in Gaelic.

4. Australian Men: I had a pretty good idea a very long time ago that this species is probably one of the dullest in creation..but I just didn't believe it, surely I was unlucky. They can't all be strong silent (mute) types, who leave all the talking to the Sheilas. No they really are. Its OK if you are an outdoorsy surfing footy playing type, and have had brain cells knocked off progressively over the years. But try a bit of banter, a bit of humour..oh dear oh dear. I think my joining above mentioned cricket club galvanised my opinion: off-the-field conversation revolves around, er..footy, beer, bigoted racial stereotypes (I hear what you're saying about the pot calling the kettle black), eg all poms are poofters, bigoted opinions on the world, ie everywhere outside Australia is crap..blah blah blah yawn, next

5. Australian TV: I can only tolerate ABC or SBS, and that's only in short bursts, and sadly that is mostly British content. Enough said.

6. Australian Culture: Let's face it, there isn't any. It's an anti-culture, seemingly revelling in all that is crass. There is a celebration of bogun behaviour, eg wearing slippers and pyjamas at the supermarket (WTF), wearing white socks when not doing exercise (!!), its like there are so many Paul Calfs around. Even the politicians try to muscle in on the act, calling every one mate, and trying to be all working class. Grow up. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, think back to the Sydney Olympics closing ceremony, when they celebrated the Hills Hoist (something you hang your washing on)..good grief.

7. Australian Spirit: they think they are the only ones who can show a bit of grit. Everyone likes to see themselves as a 'little battler', which is ironic as they step into their massive Ford Territory to drive 500m down the road to buy milk, then head off home to watch (rubbish) telly on a 52inch plasma. Try sitting in a traffic jam on the M25 for 3 hours, trying to catch a plan out of heathrow. That takes grit. There is also an unsettling sameness about everything. Your accent is the same whether you live in Tassie or NT. you either drive a ford or a holden. The shops look the same, the streets look the same, everywhere. Everyone over a certain age raves on about crap bands that have never been heard of elsewhere..Skyhooks, Hunters and collectors, Cold Chisel. And said bands are the soundtrack to their lives. If you've been in Kuta Bali on NYE, I think you'll know what i mean.

I'm not feeling better yet

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Guest Caitmelbourne

So when you going home then?

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Sorry but I couldn't help but laugh - because I can just imgine the tone this is written in!!!

But seriously, what area do you live in? Have you thought about moving to another part of Aus before giving up? (I assume you do want to move back otherwise you wouldn't be posting).

Maybe you won't be able to change the TV or the pubs but you can make new friends and be living in a better area, if you did move to another part.

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Guest proud2beaussie
eg wearing slippers and pyjamas at the supermarket (WTF)
Funny,last time I heard about that was when Tesco,(Remember them,I think they are a BRITISH chain aren't they) banned people from wearing pj's in their stores so maybe the people you see doing that here in Australia are crass poms?.

In case you doubt me here is the link :BBC News - Tesco ban on shoppers in pyjamas

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Funny,last time I heard about that was when a Tesco,(Remember them,I think they are a BRITISH chain aren't they) banned people from wearing pj's in their stores so maybe the people you see doing that here in Australia are crass poms?.

In case you doubt me here is the link :BBC News - Tesco ban on shoppers in pyjamas

 

I could never wear pjs out, I once did it for charity oh and for work everyone went in their pjs (also for charity) but apart from that, NEVER. Lol.

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Guest proud2beaussie
I could never wear pjs out, I once did it for charity oh and for work everyone went in their pjs (also for charity) but apart from that, NEVER. Lol.

I haven't seen it happen here but I have no reason to doubt that it does happen,especially in stores that open late at night but I would be surprised if it was a common thing in daylight hours,but then again I live in a country town where just about everyone knows each other so most people wouldn't be game to do it,maybe in the bigger regional towns it happens more often.

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Guest guest36762
Funny,last time I heard about that was when Tesco,(Remember them,I think they are a BRITISH chain aren't they) banned people from wearing pj's in their stores so maybe the people you see doing that here in Australia are crass poms?.

In case you doubt me here is the link :BBC News - Tesco ban on shoppers in pyjamas

 

Good idea tesco, should be copied here

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Guest proud2beaussie

Hope this doesn't set your therapy back too much.:biggrin:

 

 

Well he's the king of fashion in his neighborhood,

With his ripped blue jeans and a flannelette shirt.

A well kept mullet and a packet of smokes,

His mates will all tell ya he's a real top bloke.

His real name is Barry, but his mates call him Bazza.

And his girlfriend's name is Sharon, but ya just call her Shazza.

Real top Sheila, real top sort,

She'll even change your stubby while your watching sport.

 

But don't victimize him for his way of life,

He's sick and tired of hearing people say...

 

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

 

He drives a VK Commodore with alloy wheels,

With a home made spoiler made of crappy steel.

Pair of fluffy dice and all the other toys,

But his No Fear sticker is his pride and joy.

Saturday night the boys hit town.

Yeah they're cruising the streets with their windows down.

Put on some Barnsey and they're on their way,

You'll hear the car com'n from a mile away.

 

But don't victimize him for his way of life,

He's sick and tired of hearing people say...

 

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

 

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

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Guest guest36762
Sorry but I couldn't help but laugh - because I can just imgine the tone this is written in!!!

But seriously, what area do you live in? Have you thought about moving to another part of Aus before giving up? (I assume you do want to move back otherwise you wouldn't be posting).

Maybe you won't be able to change the TV or the pubs but you can make new friends and be living in a better area, if you did move to another part.

 

I haven't given up, not yet. And thank you for noticing that this thread was posted with a certain amount of tongue in cheek (though not completely)

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I haven't seen it happen here but I have no reason to doubt that it does happen,especially in stores that open late at night but I would be surprised if it was a common thing in daylight hours,but then again I live in a country town where just about everyone knows each other so most people wouldn't be game to do it,maybe in the bigger regional towns it happens more often.

 

I've seen it happen here a few times, actually I've even seen friends walk around in pjs (hanging from the night before) it's really CHAV like lol.

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Guest guest36762
Hope this doesn't set your therapy back too much.:biggrin:

 

 

Well he's the king of fashion in his neighborhood,

With his ripped blue jeans and a flannelette shirt.

A well kept mullet and a packet of smokes,

His mates will all tell ya he's a real top bloke.

His real name is Barry, but his mates call him Bazza.

And his girlfriend's name is Sharon, but ya just call her Shazza.

Real top Sheila, real top sort,

She'll even change your stubby while your watching sport.

 

But don't victimize him for his way of life,

He's sick and tired of hearing people say...

 

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

 

He drives a VK Commodore with alloy wheels,

With a home made spoiler made of crappy steel.

Pair of fluffy dice and all the other toys,

But his No Fear sticker is his pride and joy.

Saturday night the boys hit town.

Yeah they're cruising the streets with their windows down.

Put on some Barnsey and they're on their way,

You'll hear the car com'n from a mile away.

 

But don't victimize him for his way of life,

He's sick and tired of hearing people say...

 

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

 

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

Nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan.

 

Thanks for that, I'm on the phone to my psychiatrist (on hold)

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Thanks for that, I'm on the phone to my psychiatrist (on hold)

 

:biglaugh: you poor thing.

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Guest proud2beaussie

Then there's this (My FAVORITE show,seeing as I'm an aussie bogan)

 

I"m sure there is a 24 hour emergency help line for people suffering like yourself.

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Guest JulieW

Harpodom, I agree with every word. Love the bit about the 'battlers' doing battle with 5 minute journeys in a 4WD!

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I haven't given up, not yet. And thank you for noticing that this thread was posted with a certain amount of tongue in cheek (though not completely)

 

You're welcome, feel free to let off steam any time! Then you can join the group of people called 'Whinging poms' :biglaugh:

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Guest Caitmelbourne

I wear my PJs to the shop here & UK simply because I am lazy. I never imagined anyone would be offended...I look hot in PJs anyway

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Guest proud2beaussie

Here's another lesson about how to fit in with us Aussies.:biggrin::biggrin:

YouTube - Poofta Bogan ManWagon

(Apologies for the politically incorrect title-no offense meant)

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Guest proud2beaussie
You're welcome, feel free to let off steam any time! Then you can join the group of people called 'Whinging poms' :biglaugh:

You mean there are poms who DON'T whinge !:biggrin::wink:

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Loved it! made me laugh, by the way you should go to the get togethers in the city once a month for Poms. We went on Saturday best night out for a long time!

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You mean there are poms who DON'T whinge !:biggrin::wink:

 

They're a rare species, I've yet to find a pom who doesn't whinge, that's including myself because yes I do sometimes. Who doesn't? :)

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I wear my PJs to the shop here & UK simply because I am lazy. I never imagined anyone would be offended...I look hot in PJs anyway

 

Not offended, just not for me :)

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OK, here we go! Where do I start? Firstly I need to be careful. my wife's a 'Strayan, so I don't want to be too rude. That said......

We'll have been here (Geelong) 2 years in september, so I feel that i speak with some insight. Hopefully by getting this bile out of my system I'll feel much better.

1. Making friends: why is this so bloody difficult? I regard myself as a reasonably normal person (in his late 30's) who likes a laugh. Here I feel like I'm in the land of the living dead! Many of the blokes I've met and socialised with..well, we kind of speak the same language but its like there's nothing there. Irony, what's that? To cap things of, yesterday I met someone who'd been here 43 years, and he's still having difficulty trying to make friends! Gulp.

2. AFL: I find it bizarre and baffling how everyone young and old male and female alike, seems obsessed by this sport which is let's face it, irrelevant outside of Australia. Oh, the looks you get when asked what team 'ya barrack for', and answer NONE ACTUALLY. It's like you've just spat on their mother's grave.

3. Pubs: I had the misfortune of having a beer at a typical Aussie pub the other day. It was like stepping into Hades...walls covered with TV screens, TAB counter, pokies as far as the eye could see, leery blokes (unfortunately some from my ex cricket club). Why not just call it a seedy betting shop (where you also buy ridiculous little pots of beer)? Yes I've been to other pubs less scary than this but I mention it as one of the blokes I was with described it as a 'crusty local'..I had images of a grandfather clock ticking in the corner, a labrador sleeping by the fire, and an old fella in a cloth cap singing to himself in Gaelic.

4. Australian Men: I had a pretty good idea a very long time ago that this species is probably one of the dullest in creation..but I just didn't believe it, surely I was unlucky. They can't all be strong silent (mute) types, who leave all the talking to the Sheilas. No they really are. Its OK if you are an outdoorsy surfing footy playing type, and have had brain cells knocked off progressively over the years. But try a bit of banter, a bit of humour..oh dear oh dear. I think my joining above mentioned cricket club galvanised my opinion: off-the-field conversation revolves around, er..footy, beer, bigoted racial stereotypes (I hear what you're saying about the pot calling the kettle black), eg all poms are poofters, bigoted opinions on the world, ie everywhere outside Australia is crap..blah blah blah yawn, next

5. Australian TV: I can only tolerate ABC or SBS, and that's only in short bursts, and sadly that is mostly British content. Enough said.

6. Australian Culture: Let's face it, there isn't any. It's an anti-culture, seemingly revelling in all that is crass. There is a celebration of bogun behaviour, eg wearing slippers and pyjamas at the supermarket (WTF), wearing white socks when not doing exercise (!!), its like there are so many Paul Calfs around. Even the politicians try to muscle in on the act, calling every one mate, and trying to be all working class. Grow up. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, think back to the Sydney Olympics closing ceremony, when they celebrated the Hills Hoist (something you hang your washing on)..good grief.

7. Australian Spirit: they think they are the only ones who can show a bit of grit. Everyone likes to see themselves as a 'little battler', which is ironic as they step into their massive Ford Territory to drive 500m down the road to buy milk, then head off home to watch (rubbish) telly on a 52inch plasma. Try sitting in a traffic jam on the M25 for 3 hours, trying to catch a plan out of heathrow. That takes grit. There is also an unsettling sameness about everything. Your accent is the same whether you live in Tassie or NT. you either drive a ford or a holden. The shops look the same, the streets look the same, everywhere. Everyone over a certain age raves on about crap bands that have never been heard of elsewhere..Skyhooks, Hunters and collectors, Cold Chisel. And said bands are the soundtrack to their lives. If you've been in Kuta Bali on NYE, I think you'll know what i mean.

I'm not feeling better yet

 

 

Just about swallowed my tongue reading this...........LOVE IT..........couldn't have written it better myself.............Keep it coming.

So down and depressed at the moment but this has really lightened my mood this evening.

Who needs therapy when you come across posts like this - thanks -

 

Gill


Sometimes the grass isn't greener at the other side - Sometimes we just have to water our own grass !

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Guest Guest37175
OK, here we go! Where do I start? Firstly I need to be careful. my wife's a 'Strayan, so I don't want to be too rude. That said......

We'll have been here (Geelong) 2 years in september, so I feel that i speak with some insight. Hopefully by getting this bile out of my system I'll feel much better.

1. Making friends: why is this so bloody difficult? I regard myself as a reasonably normal person (in his late 30's) who likes a laugh. Here I feel like I'm in the land of the living dead! Many of the blokes I've met and socialised with..well, we kind of speak the same language but its like there's nothing there. Irony, what's that? To cap things of, yesterday I met someone who'd been here 43 years, and he's still having difficulty trying to make friends! Gulp.

2. AFL: I find it bizarre and baffling how everyone young and old male and female alike, seems obsessed by this sport which is let's face it, irrelevant outside of Australia. Oh, the looks you get when asked what team 'ya barrack for', and answer NONE ACTUALLY. It's like you've just spat on their mother's grave.

3. Pubs: I had the misfortune of having a beer at a typical Aussie pub the other day. It was like stepping into Hades...walls covered with TV screens, TAB counter, pokies as far as the eye could see, leery blokes (unfortunately some from my ex cricket club). Why not just call it a seedy betting shop (where you also buy ridiculous little pots of beer)? Yes I've been to other pubs less scary than this but I mention it as one of the blokes I was with described it as a 'crusty local'..I had images of a grandfather clock ticking in the corner, a labrador sleeping by the fire, and an old fella in a cloth cap singing to himself in Gaelic.

4. Australian Men: I had a pretty good idea a very long time ago that this species is probably one of the dullest in creation..but I just didn't believe it, surely I was unlucky. They can't all be strong silent (mute) types, who leave all the talking to the Sheilas. No they really are. Its OK if you are an outdoorsy surfing footy playing type, and have had brain cells knocked off progressively over the years. But try a bit of banter, a bit of humour..oh dear oh dear. I think my joining above mentioned cricket club galvanised my opinion: off-the-field conversation revolves around, er..footy, beer, bigoted racial stereotypes (I hear what you're saying about the pot calling the kettle black), eg all poms are poofters, bigoted opinions on the world, ie everywhere outside Australia is crap..blah blah blah yawn, next

5. Australian TV: I can only tolerate ABC or SBS, and that's only in short bursts, and sadly that is mostly British content. Enough said.

6. Australian Culture: Let's face it, there isn't any. It's an anti-culture, seemingly revelling in all that is crass. There is a celebration of bogun behaviour, eg wearing slippers and pyjamas at the supermarket (WTF), wearing white socks when not doing exercise (!!), its like there are so many Paul Calfs around. Even the politicians try to muscle in on the act, calling every one mate, and trying to be all working class. Grow up. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, think back to the Sydney Olympics closing ceremony, when they celebrated the Hills Hoist (something you hang your washing on)..good grief.

7. Australian Spirit: they think they are the only ones who can show a bit of grit. Everyone likes to see themselves as a 'little battler', which is ironic as they step into their massive Ford Territory to drive 500m down the road to buy milk, then head off home to watch (rubbish) telly on a 52inch plasma. Try sitting in a traffic jam on the M25 for 3 hours, trying to catch a plan out of heathrow. That takes grit. There is also an unsettling sameness about everything. Your accent is the same whether you live in Tassie or NT. you either drive a ford or a holden. The shops look the same, the streets look the same, everywhere. Everyone over a certain age raves on about crap bands that have never been heard of elsewhere..Skyhooks, Hunters and collectors, Cold Chisel. And said bands are the soundtrack to their lives. If you've been in Kuta Bali on NYE, I think you'll know what i mean.

I'm not feeling better yet

 

Pure class!. Even my Aussie missus had to laugh!. In my job I interview couples with marital problems. The chief complaint from estranged wives / female partners about their ex's is their complete and utter inability or unwillingness to express any emotion so that bit highlighted really struck a chord. Interviewing them (the blokes), it feels like communication is an optional extra rather than a significant pre-requisite for a successful relationship!.

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Guest Caitmelbourne

I was seeing an Aussie guy in the UK & thought his lack of emotion was bizarre...he could only communicate feelings over text, and when very drunk. Even then the extent of this was 'I like you' and a few drunken explicits.

 

I thought he was just odd until I actually arrived here. One of my female Aussie mates has been with her fella for 4 years, live together & he has never told her he loves her! Maybe Aussie guys believe actions speak louder than words...but when the actions are pub for a pint of p**s ( I HATE that!!), AFL & some deep fried dim sims they're not really saying much!

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