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Guest shopaholic

How long should we give it?

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Guest shopaholic

Been living here for 6 months now and I think the homesickness has well and truly set in. I knew from day 1 of arriving it didnt feel right to be here, but it is such a big move I knew it would take time and I would have to go through the whole homesickness thing. The first couple of months are not too bad as you have so much to do it takes your mind off how you are feeling. It felt like a holiday at first, my husband was looking for a job, we could spend our time exploring and spending time with the kids, eventually though reality sets it. My husband started work and I have my children in childcare part time and struggled to find any work fitting in with their hours. Also to make matters worse my qualifications and experience were not recognised here as I worked in finance and I was told to work in my field here I would have to retrain and start from scratch. Knowing I had these obstacles I thought maybe I should try and take something positive from this, I cant find part time work, I would have to retrain in finance so why not do something different. I had always fancied teaching and the thought of doing something different perked me up and I applied and was accepted to do a teaching course here.

 

I do desperately want to go home though and this seems to take over my day and I cant seem to focus on starting a course. I want to give it longer as we spent so much time and effort in applying to come here, also my husband seems to be enjoying it so far. I dont want to ruin his dream and go back too soon. Ideally I would like to see out my course but if I know now I am not happy, would it be unrealistic for me to think I could manage another 2 years?? I know I will return at some point so I would like to say I got something positive out of being here by completing my course, it is just if I can manage another 2 years!

 

Has anyone returned after a few months only to end up regretting it? I dont want to be too hasty but I didnt imagine homesickness could be this bad!

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we have been here nearly 3 years and we go back to the uk in feb. we decided before we left the uk we would get our citizenship , which we will have next week. in my experience i feel that giving it two years + is a good yardstick. people back home have moved on a bit with their lives are used to you being away, so if you stay they will manage. we left it two plus years before we went back for a holiday and before we went back i would ,and probably did, say i'm happy in oz and i'm not leaving here. the change happened when we went back, wont go into that now. it is a rollercoaster ride but if you give yourself a goal, timewise or other, you have something to aim for. so if in two years you go back ,so what?, you've had a life experience that a lot of people in the uk wont or cant do. so enjoy it while you are there and just think short time rather than long. i know its easier for me to say it as im off back but i can remember living in a crummy rented flat back in 2007, feeling homesick as hell thinking i cant do two years here, and now its 2010. time flies, best of luck!

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Hi Shopaholic.

 

:hug::hug:

 

It's hard to know when it stops being the usual homesickness and starts being "I know I need to go back." There seems to be no yardstick for measuring this, some people go back after only a few months and stand by their decision, others go back after trying for years and years and some just can't decide -hence the term "ping pong pom".

 

Only you know deep in your heart what you want. If you can, try to make a list all the positives - the reasons you wanted to come here (and leave the UK) and what you have going for you here.

 

Then make a list of all the things you can't live with - and without. This should help you decide where you need to be.

 

I know from personal experience how hard it is not to be working when your partner goes out of that door every day, and how lonely you will be feeling. But if you have lots of experience and decide to give it a bit longer here, look into RPL - "Recognition of Prior Learning". My friend did this, it's a bit like an NVQ from what I can gather - she had to prove what she knew of her job and she was awarded a qualification to show she could do the same thing here (in training).

 

It might just be possible for you to do the same thing and avoid years more training to do something you already know,

 

Good luck whatever your future holds

 

Sue x


"You Can Tell A Yorkshire Lass, You Just Cannot Tell Her Much "

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Guest jillsz

We have been here 5 years and are going back later in the year, we've always felt homesick but my youngest daughter was the main reason for going home, she has remained desperately homesick throughout. We have just become citizens, so who knows maybe we will end up being ping pong poms! I'd try to give it 2 years, you should know then, although I have a friend who has moved between here and there 10 times, she always claims the mistake was to come in the first place, because there are benefits to living in both places it can be hard to make up your mind! For us, the pull of family and just being home was too much!

 

good luck!

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It does seem that 6 months is the tricky time and people who do go back at that point seem to have more likelihood of pingponging back because they do then get the angst of feeling they havent given it long enough.

 

You said you wanted to do teaching - I am assuming that you will be doing a graduate certificate if it is taking you 2 years to do. Have you thought of perhaps doing a Cert iv in training and assessment instead and teaching adults - it would meld nicely with your background in finance, it would be quicker to complete and I see quite a few positions advertised here for trainers with that sort of qualification. That has the potential to get you into the workforce quicker and then hopefully meet a new social network (adult ed is also probably going to be better for that anyway).

 

However, in answer to your original question - do try and give it a bit longer - if only to minimize the pingpong factor. First thing to do is to put an actual date on your decision making - give it 12 months or 2 years or whatever you think you can manage. With the escape clause in place it does make it much easier to manage than if you think you are here for ever, and ever and ever ...... that way madness lies!

 

You will need to have a serious chat with your DH and do that sooner rather than later - who knows what he is feeling, we have heard of many stories where once one partner pipes up and says I want to go home, the other heaves a huge sigh of relief and says "Thank God, I thought you were enjoying it!!!" OTOH if he says "over my dead body" then you have a lot of work to do.

 

Bottom line though is if you dont like it and you can escape then do so. Do not drift on here thinking it will get better, it will get better etc until you are past the point of no return and it hasnt got better and you feel that your "you-ness" is compromised in the process. Go and be happy where you feel you can belong. You dont have to make a go of it here, there is no shame in trying it and making a judgment that it isnt for you. And dont be seduced by the "better life for the kids" argument either - the best thing kids can have is happy parents and if you arent happy here then that isnt a better life for the kids. There are millions of kids in UK growing up happy, educated and healthy and in employment so you arent condemning them to a lifetime of despair on the dole!

 

:hug: it is a cr*p position to be in!!!

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Could you just think of it as a holiday, maybe one you may not have again for a while?

2 years isn't too long in the scheme of life, and you can look forward to going home when the time is up. I have said it before: life isn't set in concrete (most of the time).


If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

John Quincy Adams

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Guest tlander56

Hi,

 

 

We've been here nearly 4 years and are going back next month...simply had enough. Stuck it out to see if time would change our minds..but it didn't.

Miss family and friends, miss allowing the kids to run around outside all day in summer..could go on and on, but won't!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

Tanya

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i can honestly say ...that months 5 and 6 had to be my worst :cry:...if someone had given me a ticket to go home i would have been there no questions asked !!! .....we arrived in march 2009 and yes those months of arriving were taken up with finding a rental settling in and enjoying the hot summer days .....but after the shine has gone and we started to live the life then my days were taken up thinking about home ...it didnt help that by this time it was winter and according to friends who have been here 22yrs was one of the wettest on record !!! ....anyway i battled through and heyho the sun came back out and christmas was just round the corner ...unfortunately my son broke it to us he was going home end of nov ...another moment of thinking ...i wana go home aswell !!! ......but once again i knuckled down and got through christmas ...no idea how ....and then came new year .....decided to have a party to get us through it [very succesful ] ...so now here we are nearly at the end of jan ...and almost a year since we arrived .....and now my daughter is going home end of feb ...omg ...how many more tears can i cry ............anyway enough of my probs lol ....i suppose the point im trying to make .....is DONT think about it as u are here for 2 years .....take each day as it comes .....when u are feeeling down think WHY you wanted to come in the first place ......if u have taken just about all u can then its time to make the decision .....my family will always come first and i would rather be miserable back home with them around me ...than miserable here without them .....:hug:

mrs keily


LIFE IS A COIN , YOU CAN SPEND IT ON WHATEVER YOU WISH , BUT ... YOU CAN ONLY SPEND IT ONCE

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Guest bshootz

hi please have a look at my post....going home

Becx

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Guest shopaholic

Hi,

 

Thanks for your post. I do really want to teach children, dont think I could teach adults!! Thanks for the advice though!!

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Guest shopaholic
hi please have a look at my post....going home

Becx

 

hi Becx

 

Have read your post and I know exactly how your must feel, it is such a horrible position to be in and I hope you sort something out soon.

 

Even though it is only 6 months, I know I dont want to stay here. We have decided to see how my course goes, it will be finished in Nov 2011 and that is when we will return to the UK unless I cant see the course through, but hopefully if I can see it as short term and think I am just here to do a course then I should be able to get though the next year and a half!!

 

Hope everything goes OK and I do think you should do what your heart tells you. It is no good you and your children being unhappy.

 

Good luck

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Guest byron

Hi,

 

this feeling might never go away tbh. Maybe a holiday to home for 2 weeks or a month.

 

take the kids with if they are young or get hubby to take off (shorter holiday)

 

things might be clearer then. You may even find that some time at home will give you the strength to carry on.

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Been living here for 6 months now and I think the homesickness has well and truly set in. I knew from day 1 of arriving it didnt feel right to be here, but it is such a big move I knew it would take time and I would have to go through the whole homesickness thing...................Knowing I had these obstacles I thought maybe I should try and take something positive from this, I cant find part time work, I would have to retrain in finance so why not do something different. I had always fancied teaching and the thought of doing something different perked me up and I applied and was accepted to do a teaching course here.

 

I do desperately want to go home though and this seems to take over my day and I cant seem to focus on starting a course...... I know I will return at some point so I would like to say I got something positive out of being here by completing my course, it is just if I can manage another 2 years.

 

Yes try at least a couple of years out here, it took me 18 months to work out I wanted to go home and we're heading back later this year.

 

I was a teacher for a while in England before I trained as a nurse and you need to look into whether teaching qualifications gained here would be recognised in the UK before you spend loads of time, money and effort on retraining. I'm pretty sure further study would be required to work in the UK.

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Guest Hilz

Australian teaching qualifications are mostly recognised in the UK but it is always best to check that your particular course is accepted. I did a graduate B Ed in QLD and taught in the UK for over 3 years (I am Australian). Although I would have had to do an extra qualification if I wished to continue teaching... just to get the better pay.

 

Funnily enough, my qualifications weren't accepted here in NSW child care! Go figure!

 

Incidentally, I hated teaching and have since changed career. It's the kind of job you need to have a passion for if you want to make it a life time career.

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Guest jodie stott

Hi there, im in the same situation as you were, did you go back>? did you regret it? thanks , xx

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