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pez2008

Family illness (Nothing fatal)

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Hi everyone just needed to chat. We have been here in Victoria since Oct 7th. We was lucky enough that we got a rental and i got a job straight away. About 3 weeks ago my sister told me my dads got cancer and needs treatment, he knew about this before our farewell party but told people it was a stomache ulcer and kept it quiet (apart from my stepmum). He told my step mum you must not say anything because " i dont want to spoil there big adventure" im so proud of him for being so selfless or unselfish (english, not my strong point). Ive spoken to him twice early on then got all excited about setting up Skype with my sister, so boxing day ,the day ive seen my dad at xmas for the last 21 years i was all set. Then about midday Uk time i got atext saying dad cant see you on skype as chemo has shattered him and he cant get up, to say i was upset is an understatement i lost it and was all for a flight to uk. I didnt go home and still have not spoke to my dad as he is too poorly.But ive been assured he is ok just really poorly from chemo. 4 weeks ago im living the dream, then this happens, its a bloody shock. Cant afford to "just pop home" any way i am home, but this is the things that test you.

Please dont say " if it was my parent id be straight on that plane, because its not that easy. Any way i just wanted to " tell someone"

Pez.

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Guest Andy
Hi everyone just needed to chat. We have been here in Victoria since Oct 7th. We was lucky enough that we got a rental and i got a job straight away. About 3 weeks ago my sister told me my dads got cancer and needs treatment, he knew about this before our farewell party but told people it was a stomache ulcer and kept it quiet (apart from my stepmum). He told my step mum you must not say anything because " i dont want to spoil there big adventure" im so proud of him for being so selfless or unselfish (english, not my strong point). Ive spoken to him twice early on then got all excited about setting up Skype with my sister, so boxing day ,the day ive seen my dad at xmas for the last 21 years i was all set. Then about midday Uk time i got atext saying dad cant see you on skype as chemo has shattered him and he cant get up, to say i was upset is an understatement i lost it and was all for a flight to uk. I didnt go home and still have not spoke to my dad as he is too poorly.But ive been assured he is ok just really poorly from chemo. 4 weeks ago im living the dream, then this happens, its a bloody shock. Cant afford to "just pop home" any way i am home, but this is the things that test you.

Please dont say " if it was my parent id be straight on that plane, because its not that easy. Any way i just wanted to " tell someone"

Pez.

Hi pez,

listen you have to do what you think is right and please do not torture yourself as that will do nobody any good. The chemo makes people dreadfully ill before making you better and hopefully thats what is happening to your father, hang in there and i am hoping your dad makes a full recovery as he sounds a top bloke!:hug:

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hope he gets better ,soon .at the end of the day you no he is in good hands that's all that matters.

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Guest Guest31881
Hi everyone just needed to chat. We have been here in Victoria since Oct 7th. We was lucky enough that we got a rental and i got a job straight away. About 3 weeks ago my sister told me my dads got cancer and needs treatment, he knew about this before our farewell party but told people it was a stomache ulcer and kept it quiet (apart from my stepmum). He told my step mum you must not say anything because " i dont want to spoil there big adventure" im so proud of him for being so selfless or unselfish (english, not my strong point). Ive spoken to him twice early on then got all excited about setting up Skype with my sister, so boxing day ,the day ive seen my dad at xmas for the last 21 years i was all set. Then about midday Uk time i got atext saying dad cant see you on skype as chemo has shattered him and he cant get up, to say i was upset is an understatement i lost it and was all for a flight to uk. I didnt go home and still have not spoke to my dad as he is too poorly.But ive been assured he is ok just really poorly from chemo. 4 weeks ago im living the dream, then this happens, its a bloody shock. Cant afford to "just pop home" any way i am home, but this is the things that test you.

Please dont say " if it was my parent id be straight on that plane, because its not that easy. Any way i just wanted to " tell someone"

Pez.

 

You must be very proud of your dad; his first thought was your happiness. Chemo can and will knock him about, hopefully once he has finished his treatment he will be able to speak to you on Skype. If you had gone home then I think it would have upset him and possibly slowed down his recovery. Christmas is the time of year that you miss your relatives and having to deal with the news about his treatment would make it an especially difficult period for you. I admire your strength and presence of mind.

 

Good luck to you and your family, I am sure your dad will soon be able to chat with you again

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Hi pez2008

hope all goes well with ya dad keep ya chin up all will come good

 

parko

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Hi,

 

just wanted to send you a big ((((((hug))))))) and lots of positive thoughts for your Dad.

 

It must be very hard for you to be so far away and relying on other people to give you information on how your Dad is. You know your family so you are the best person to judge what they are telling you. You are the person who has to deal with this is the best way for you and your situation, whatever you do, go to the UK or stay in Oz it has to be what is right for you and how you feel about things.

 

My sister and I were on the other side of this last year when my Dad was diagnosed with a very nasty cancer, we had to try and tell my brother how Dad was etc, my sister tended to give him the negatives and the down sides and I tried to tell him how bad things were but with a more positive slant. He had to decide when or if to come over, in the end he did come because he wanted/needed to and spent some time with Dad before he passed away. There was no treatment for what my Dad had so it was very serious and we had no hope of any sort of remission.

Ask lots of questions of your family and try to get the true picture of what is going on, your Dad is probably trying not to put anyone out or make too much fuss.

 

thinking of you at this difficult time, take care

:hug:


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Thanks everyone for your replys. I have now spoken to my dad and although the chemo knocked him for 6 he isnt that bad. He has along battle ahead which we all hope he can cope with, but i wont be going to England yet i shall stay at "home" unless he deteriates. Thank's again, believe me this has really helped talking about it.

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Guest Andy
Thanks everyone for your replys. I have now spoken to my dad and although the chemo knocked him for 6 he isnt that bad. He has along battle ahead which we all hope he can cope with, but i wont be going to England yet i shall stay at "home" unless he deteriates. Thank's again, believe me this has really helped talking about it.

Hi pez, thats good news i am wishing your father all the best and you a happy new year!:hug:

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