sykestykes Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Kev, I too have only just seen this thread. Now I feel bad joking with you yesterday about whether your wife knew you had posted that gorgeous pic of her asleep with your Collies, you must have thought I was very thoughtless. I just had no idea anything had happened. You are a joy to have around the forum and the many supportive messages you've had show that. My thoughts are with you, and with Eddie too at this difficult time. Sue x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Kev, I too have only just seen this thread. Now I feel bad joking with you yesterday about whether your wife knew you had posted that gorgeous pic of her asleep with your Collies, you must have thought I was very thoughtless. I just had no idea anything had happened. You are a joy to have around the forum and the many supportive messages you've had show that. My thoughts are with you, and with Eddie too at this difficult time. Sue x Thanks Sue but the thought never entered my mind chook so don't feel bad. Yesterday was a day of talk and revelation and things are looking a bit brighter now. :yes: kev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janine the party queen Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Bugger,I have only just read this thread,Kev you are such a darling I am gutted for you.x x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest33730 Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Yesterday was a day of talk and revelation and things are looking a bit brighter now. :yes: kev Hey Kev, That's so great to hear - In my line of work getting people to talk openly and honestly is often the biggest battle - hopefully its all better news from now on - Good on ya!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynnes Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Hi Kev I've only just read this thread and i'm so sorry to hear your news, I met you recently at the meet up and you were so friendly, you are always so helpful on this forum and have given loads of advice, and always praising your wife and her profession, I really hope things work out well for you. I've been through 2 divorces ( the last one to a fellow nurse) so can appreciate how you're feeling, though no one can truely know just how you are as its such a personal experience. I know this sounds trite but if there is anything we can do, just ask, we are always up for a chat and a coffee/beer/wine etc. take care hun and lots of hugs lynne and chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SunshineSmile Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Hi Kev Just a thought........ if you were a woman we would be advising you to go get a babysitter and get out of the house and start to make a social life for yourself. Maybe your already doing this? Nothing more appealing than an independant man with a great social life??? You did say you want her to WANT to be with you??? Change what your doing, and the way she sees you will change? Keep the chin up :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aldo Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Thanks Sue but the thought never entered my mind chook so don't feel bad. Yesterday was a day of talk and revelation and things are looking a bit brighter now. :yes: kev Thats good news, communication is key to a sucessful relationship. If you need any bedroom advice let me know:wink: Just kidding!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Hi Kev Just a thought........ if you were a woman we would be advising you to go get a babysitter and get out of the house and start to make a social life for yourself. Maybe your already doing this? Don't housewifes always complain that they're tied to the kitchen sink? :biglaugh: Finding time to socialise between the 2 school runs, housework and PIO :rolleyes: can be done but bear in mind, it's ok for two female neighbours to have a coffee and a chat, but if a bloke and sheila have a coffee and a chat, then they must be having an affair..............gossips would conclude. Tae kwan do, and footy or athletics for one son, (depending on the season), occupies 4 evenings and piano lessons for the other take up another evening. Then there's the saturday footy/athletics fixtureThrow my wife's shift work into the equation and what have you got?............a recipe for disaster unless something gives...............and I would prefer it to be her shiftwork. kev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bray Family Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Shift work is always hard on the family.terry now does call one week in 3 we just have to make sure we make the most of the weeks his not on call.in the uk we use to tie up weekends with dance and athletics but since we have moved out here we have tried to keep weekend free.Maybe you need to look at what the kids are doing and maybe change a few things, the kids hobbies can take over we have been at the stage where everynight of the week the kids needed to be somewhere.My daughter use to be out every night in the uk doing something dance scouts athletics piano.When we moved she wanted a change and some free time now only doing dance and scouts with weekend free for family time.she's just as happy doing less which has been good for us as well now have more family time. if you fancy a coffee i am around and can pretend to be a bloke Take care sarah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 if you fancy a coffee i am around and can pretend to be a bloke I doubt it :biglaugh: I've seen some of the looks when Yvonne callls round :rolleyes: Yeah, I know how tying kids activities can be, but I wouldn't curtail them unless they really wanted a rest. Josh loves his sport..............he was spotted by Brisbane Juniors for supplementary coaching, but he declined as he thought he was doing enough (at the expense of his school work). Not many kids would do that...........I'm so proud of him. kev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bray Family Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Hope everything works out for you. Maybe you could get yvonne to babysit and have a night out together.Its so hard to keep up with the kids and keep everyone happy you will get there. Take care sarah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treesea Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Sorry to hear what you are both going through, Kev and Eddie. Somehow, when one person is the sole breadwinner and the other one stays at home looking after the kids, the roles people take within the family don't always seem to be valued evenly. If the person who works the 40, 50, 60 hours a week would just realise that it wasn't their income they were working for, but the family's income, maybe sanity, in the form of a few less hours and a bit less income, would prevail. There was a time, when I was working, that I came home and somehow expected to be looked after. My other half once said to me that whereas for me I had an eight hour working day, for him it felt like a 16 hour day. There came a time - this was when we were living in Australia - that I became the housewife and he worked full time, and sure enough the same thing happened. He worked his eight hour day then wanted his eight hours of "time off", while I basically had a sixteen hour day, looking after the children and him from dawn till dusk. And yes, not working in Australia can be isolating - it's as if when you don't do paid work, you don't exist. In the end, after a lot of "fed up" periods on both of our parts, (and yes, we considered splitting up, but I had been through one divorce and didn't want another) we worked it out so that, when whoever was working got paid, we put aside what we would need for the bills, housekeeping expenses and the mortgage, then transferred the remainder equally into our individual accounts. Plus we recognised that when one was working the other was doing just as much work, so that, when we did have time off, we shared the family burdens/work/commitments and stopped waiting on each other hand and foot. Divvying up the income so that we both got paid had a much more positive impact than I thought it would. Our patterns of expenditure barely changed, so in a way it was just symbolic. When it was my turn not to go out to work though, I quite enjoyed it. It felt like being paid and having an independent income. Something to look forward to. And I know my OH appreciated never having to ask me for money again when I was working and he was looking after the children and house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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