Guest guest30038 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Well I was warned! My wife is 12 yrs younger than me so I should've seen it coming! Oz has been the lucky country for her.........she's nursing like she never could've nursed in the UK. Me? I'm at home with the daily grind of running the kids to school and picking 'em up. Perhaps I should've dusted and hoovered more but that's irrelevant, I'm now redundant...............she wants us to seperate.....graudually.....over a period of time of course, so that she can get her life (and shifts) in order. <sarcasm> Feck you mate, never trust a woman with an agenda, no matter how "vocational" it may be. I've supported her through her nursing training, her Uni Grad Dip, and now I "can't be lived with" because I have "anger issues". feckin' right I do! I'm sick to death of being alone (and I'm sure the kids feel the same). Why this "declaration to the world"?...............Because a lot of migrants are nurses and quite simply because I have seen it all before in other couples who had a partner nursing. Admitted, my age may be a contributory factor, but despite that, folk in nursing, who suffer the shifts, trauma, pressurised to upskill etc, need to be aware of the imapct that it may cause..................Of course, if you love each other to death, and you can't be impacted by everday drudgeries. then my post is irrelevant. She's gone off to work nights overtime, 'cause they're short staffed", and I'm left to reflect on our life.............I'm alone again and why my anger? Cause the job comes first? Perhaps I'm not commited enoguh to be married to a nurse or perhaps a younger nurse wouldn't be so fecked when she came home?..........chicken or the egg........what more can I say?..................don't lose sight of those who are near and dear to you simply to survive or advance. Yeah...............Oz is great...............pretty sad that I have to talk here instead of to a RL friend or partner.........but trust me.........that's my baggage not the fault of Oz good folk................or the nursing profession.................I may be gone a while................not waving but drowning..............those who I have met here know who I respect and love........and those who are in the nursing profession, hopefully, will see where I'm coming from when I say, "charity begins at home" kev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Kev, Dont really know what to say to you fella, except stay strong for your kids and dont lose sight of yourself thru this, Anytime you need to vent you get on here and there wil be folks here to listen :hug::hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Sorry to hear that Kev, as a nurse I agree that shifts can be terrible, one of the reasons I like community work.. When the kids were younger, during holiday times, OH and I would alter working hours to cover childcare and would have been in danger of being ships that passed in the night. It's a wonderful profession with terrible hours that can greatly impact upon family life and certainly relationships can get lost. I hope things work out ... you know you can bend my ear. If you want my email address, just pm me. Ali x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Oh Kev...So sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishgirl1 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 :hug:Ah Kev, I am so so sorry, you have done a great job doing what you do looking after your wonderful boys, take care of yourself, you have made me laugh and think about alot of things with your post and comments, thank you, good luck:hug: Laney x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Hi Kev, So sorry to hear your news, I went through a simmilar episode when my kids were 14 (twins), But my ex disapeared for 2 days then phoned me up to say she was in Canada. The anger, the resentment is something you cannot explain to anyone. But I am sure no one on here will mind you letting off steam on this forum if you want to. You have a lot of 'friends' on here and if you want to use the forum to talk about things, i dont think anyone would object. Good luck mate, and remember there is light at the end of the tunnel even when you think some bugger has turned it off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ozcans Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Dear Kev, I hope things work out for your family. Sometimes a period of time apart can help to clarify the situation, and if some things need to change, then I hope it's for the better for everyone. You're obviously a fantastic Dad, and that will never change. I hope you'll all be able to communicate to each other and iron things out for the better. Keep your pecker up, chuck. Love and a hug. Sue x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bonefish13 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Hi Kev. Got the t-shirt on this one, TWICE. Any help or just a chat, just yell, LOUDLY. Cheers Tony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest26012 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 So sorry kev. You are always helpful on here! Dont come on here much myself but know are a good contributor to PIO. Am a nurse myself, and without sounding hurtful, i would never put my career before my family! My thoughts are with you at this difficult time! Hope to god you work things out? Sounds like you need some friends? Please pm me or anyone else on PIO so that we can help you! Nic x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest33730 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Kev, So sorry mate, don't go away for too long - we'll miss you. Unfortunately in my line of work I deal with this kind of thing all the time. I know it may sound 'trite' but you will get through it - just try to take one day at a time, help the kids through whats going on and make sure you find someone local to give you a hug & just be there to listen when you need it. All the best!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest26012 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Just bumping this up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Sorry about that kev,been divorced myself,lost( well gave her tbh!)a nice big house in a nice area of lpool(childwall),ended up in my bro's box room for a cpl of years and thought it was the end of the world,just like you do now! i could have "saved" the marriage if i wanted to,but i knew it wasnt meant to be so i didnt,after 5 years i met jan again,who i used to go to school with 30 years ago(altho she was 4 years younger)and i used to bump into now and again in lpool, ive got to say kev that getting divorced was NOW the best thing that ever happened to me,it might not seem like it at the time,i know how you must be feeling with the kids an all,but life goes on mate and "whats meant to be is meant to be",like i said you WILL get over it,just stay strong mate,if i can start over again anybody can.:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poca&Dan Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Hi, thanks for the eye opening post, am really sorry to hear that things have not worked out for you. When I first read the post I felt a little angry, as a nurse myself, the work is hard, the shifts are unsociable and 9 times out of 10 the wards are short staffed and it is difficult to say no to a shift when a)you need the money and b) the only other person prepared to do the shift, is the one who has just done several long days running and hasn't had a day of in a very long time. However I reread your post and rethought my feelings towards the posts and want to thank you for your honesty. I think in this line of work you can get very wrapped up in it, and all to often the excuse of 'i'm a caring person, that's why I'm a nurse' kind of over takes everything else in your life. When I've had to work long shifts I've always thought about how this effects me - I'm missing out on social occassions, OH is going out and free to do as he pleases, I'm tired, I don't have time to eat etc etc, I've never actually thought about how this will effect my loved ones. My last job, I was a nightmare to be around as I was over worked, underpaid and just exhausted, OH coped fine as he had his friends around him but bless him the hours he had to sit and listen to me whinge and moan and he too has supported me through gaining qualification! but now I am only beggining to imagine what it may actually be like for him in a foreign country with no support networks and I know what a dragon I can be when I'm tired and ratty! I really hope that things work out for you and your children through all of this, you sound like a very generous man who deserves a generous woman!:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LondonGal Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Kev, that is so sad for you and your family. The love you have for your boys and your wife always shines through in your posts. Wishing you all the best. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 take care kev--if you want to talk pm me--my wifes a nurse--sort of know where your coming from---queensland health,it nearly got the better of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest flipflop Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Awwwwwwwww **** mate, sorry to hear your grief...:dull:....you are a good looking bloke mate so think positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 :hug: Kev I am so sorry to hear that. I hope there may be avenues of communication which help you all to resolve this. All the very best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobj Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Dunno what to say, mate. Absolutely staggered at the revelation!!! Must have taken some guts to say that... Cheers, Bobj. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErmintrudeMcMoo Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Sorry to hear this news - I wonder if she realises how tough it can be out there without good support at home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Magnetic6 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Aww Kev! I always read your posts with interest and what's struck me is what a lovely bloke you are. I've also looked at your photos and thought how your sons are a credit to you, what an achievement! I hope things workout the way you want it to:hug: Natalie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunnyday Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Kev, I'm so sorry mate, am sending you hugs xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pauli77 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Hi Kev, I have to say I was both moved and awakened by your post. It must have taken some guts to open yourself up like this but I also want to thank you. Although I am not a Nurse I do worry about my OH when we arrive and I am at work. I was also struck by the isolation and it makes me really appreciate what a fantastic resource this website is. You are clearly a very caring and wonderful father and your boys will need you more than anything over the next few months. Good Luck and I hope she realises what she will lose xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Kev, that is so sad for you and your family. The love you have for your boys and your wife always shines through in your posts. Wishing you all the best. xKev:hug:I have just woken up, I feel gutted, I think you have stunned everyone.You have have contributed so much on PIO and been a wonderful support for so many, making me cry with laughter, sitting up and looking at the seriousness of your posts on occasions, the most exquisite photography, your a person of so many talents and as others have said a great husband and father (and friend)., as my father would say " your a good egg"!! This morning isnt the same without seeing your name in the top right hand box, conniving up some scullduggery and if your reading this I have pmd you. Come back to us when your ready Kev. Much love and hugs:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Hey Kev 1st off take care of yourself mate, I've felt the hurt your going through and it's not a nice place to be.... Any time you need an ear I'm never to far away. :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuddysMum Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Oh Kev, I am so, so sorry. I feel gutted for you, I really do. I think this says all I wanted to say: Kev:hug:I have just woken up, I feel gutted, I think you have stunned everyone.You have made contributed so much on PIO and been a wonderful support for so many, making me cry with laughter, sitting up and looking at the seriousness of your posts on occasions, the most exquisite photography, your a person of so many talents and as others have said a great husband and father (and friend)., as my father would say " your a good egg"!! This morning isnt the same without seeing your name in the top right hand box, conniving up some scullduggery and if your reading this I have pmd you. Come back to us when your ready Kev. Much love and hugs:hug: Would your wife consider counselling? We love you on here, you really are a good'un. Don't be away for long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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