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Feeling very torn


Guest quigs

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We have received our PR visas and doing lots of research for our reccie and eventual move. I am worried that at times I'm not excited enough about the move? tried analysing this don't know if its because I'm focusing too much on the negative aspects of emigrating- STRESS, LONELINESS, UPHEAVAL,feeling torn leaving family and friends. Have I the energy to start over again in every aspect of my life? We have moved twice before and never felt these feelings before and coped very well and enjoyed the experience but are very aware how stressful the first two years are.

 

I know that the lifestyle change would suit us much better plus very concerned at the direction the UK is heading. don't envisage a future for us in the UK, doesn't excite or appeal to me. We want an easier pace of life near beaches better weather etc.

 

My biggest worry is how difficult will it be to make good quality friends. Appreciate it is up to us, both very friendly outgoing people but also realise that the older you get people get stuck in their ways, have already got their network of friends and family and don't make the effort.

We have lived in London for a number of years, I have never met so many unfriendly, cold, competitive people and its very hard to meet real people without agendas, cliques and who are interested in meeting new people.

 

Sorry to sound so negative but I think my London experience of people has made me nervous of moving in case I find much the same in Sydney? and we are further from those that are special to us.

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Hiya, when are you planning to make the move? I think that these feelings are very natural and expected! Have you moved anywhere as big and as far as Oz? That might be what is adding to your stress - the uncertainty?

 

I think that you need to remind yourself why you decided to make the move in the first place, and if that still appeals to you then just exploring the idea will be worth it! Just tell yourself that nothing is definate - in terms of moving out FOREVER!! You can always come back, my fear when I think of not going is that I would regret not trying it!

 

It will prob shock you how friendly some people can be when you try, we're all human and all like our comforts so it's just about finding people that you can relate to and getting in there! I'm sure if you are sociable creatures you will have no trouble, and try not to get into the mentality that it will be difficult to make friends, you may find that you unknowingly have your guard up which will make if difficult to make friends!!!

 

Hope that it all pans out for you and I wish you all the luck in your decision!

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Guest sh7t man no way

you have worked hard for this life changing time to come along in your life---go for it you never know whats around the corner as time goes by.if your unsure leave a get out of jail card back in london,eg rent your house.

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Guest flipflop

Can you afford to go and if you do not like it come home? if you do I would definatly go, if not I would think hard about it as yo do not seem to be 100% commited.

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thank you for your very valid feedback, I think it will help when I visit as I will feel one way or the other and hopefully appreciate better the benefits of going.

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Guest sooveroz
We have received our PR visas and doing lots of research for our reccie and eventual move. I am worried that at times I'm not excited enough about the move? tried analysing this don't know if its because I'm focusing too much on the negative aspects of emigrating- STRESS, LONELINESS, UPHEAVAL,feeling torn leaving family and friends. Have I the energy to start over again in every aspect of my life? We have moved twice before and never felt these feelings before and coped very well and enjoyed the experience but are very aware how stressful the first two years are.

 

I know that the lifestyle change would suit us much better plus very concerned at the direction the UK is heading. don't envisage a future for us in the UK, doesn't excite or appeal to me. We want an easier pace of life near beaches better weather etc.

 

My biggest worry is how difficult will it be to make good quality friends. Appreciate it is up to us, both very friendly outgoing people but also realise that the older you get people get stuck in their ways, have already got their network of friends and family and don't make the effort.

We have lived in London for a number of years, I have never met so many unfriendly, cold, competitive people and its very hard to meet real people without agendas, cliques and who are interested in meeting new people.

 

Sorry to sound so negative but I think my London experience of people has made me nervous of moving in case I find much the same in Sydney? and we are further from those that are special to us.

 

i reckon what you are feeling is good as it shows you are making the decision with your eyes open which has to be a good thing. I have not settled in australia and its +'s dont out weight the minuses for me and my lot. but many many people settle here long term and live happy and contented lives. the only word of caution i would say is to really want to live in australia rather than just escape the UK - all the problems in the UK exist in australia so please don't base your decision on what is "wrong" with the UK but rather what is "right" about australia for you. people who make the decision based on that have a much better chance of settling in my experience.

 

good luck with it and i hope you find what you are looking for!

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My own personal point of view and I do speak from experience been living in Sydney for nearly 14 years and returning around Christmas this year after sold house - but I have found Sydney people for the most part pretty much the same as London people - I have lived in London too... as in Sydneysiders can be competitive, judgemental, cold, false, shallow, greedy etc - that would account for the more affluent suburbs - or on the other hand the less affluent areas can be rough, aggressive, rude, unfriendly, etc. but of course there are good and bad everywhere and I have met quite a few people I have found friendly - but in my own experience they have been in the minority unfortunately - guess that is Sydney... you may find it different however - I have a friend (British ex pat) who is fortunate enough to be able to live in the smart fashionable Eastern suburbs and they have a huge network of friends and loving it here - most of their friends however are fellow British ex pats.

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I am feeling quite similar to you. We got our visa's in July and my reaction was one of numbness - I think it dawned on me the scale of things to come and the organisation needed to do it. I also have got final exams for my degree (in 10 days - ahhh) so actually think that once that is wiped off my plate I can get mentally ready for the move.

 

Leaving family and friends will be hard, but if people are true friends and loved ones they will wish you well on your adventure. I don't look upon the move as 'forever' - you never know whats around the corner. But I do know I will give it my best shot, maybe see if anyone on the forum wants to meet for coffee when you are over there at first. get yourself out and about - the world won't come to you, you have to go to it. If you have a supportive OH and family you will get through it, and remember what made you fill in that visa application form in the first place. We too don't see a great future for our kids in the UK - although they are already discussing who they will stay with in the UK on their gap year from university!! (they are 10 and 11 by the way).

 

Hope all goes well for you - shame you aren't headed to Melbourne then I would have quite happily had a coffee and a gossip with you!!

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thank you for the feedback finding the comments very helpful. I think part of my problem is I have been mentally seeing this as a final move want to settle the family and put down roots and have been agonising for months at night in bed over the finality of it all. Life can take many twists and turns and I have to change my attitude and not view it as final/ or forever rather a new adventure as you say!!!

 

even a small mental shift will help me feel more positive about it all. We lost a friend recently and it really makes you reflect on relationships and having time with people you love so I truly appreciate this thus the agonising!! but I realise its also important to develop new friends and to be open to new experiences.

 

keep in touch would be interested to see how you get on, when do you go?

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Hi Quigs

Hopefully by January! House now on market and things in our area have picked up recently, so hopefully pitched the price right and it will sell quickly. Half of me can't wait to get out there and explore and the other half doesn't want to leave parents - maybe I could use the excess baggage allowance to squeeze in parents!!! I actually spoke to my Mum on the phone after writing on this thread, told her I had been crying and she laughed!!! Not in a horrible way but a 'don't be daft we will visit and it's only a day away on the plane' way! Really lucky to have their support on this one, it is hard enough leaving under these circumstances without the added emotional stress that even the most well meaning families can add to it.

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It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who feels this way about the move. I got my visa in July and have accepted an offer on my house which should be completed in about 6 weeks. I should be doing cartwheels right now but I'm not. I think that the exchange rate is worrying me. As well as isolation from friends and family and finding a job in teaching which is not easy. We are planning to fly to Melbourne at Easter and I'm petrified. However what I don't want is to not go and then regret it later on in life. Now where's that rescue relief remedy.:cute:

 

Good luck everyone.

 

Sue and family

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Guest flipflop
It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who feels this way about the move. I got my visa in July and have accepted an offer on my house which should be completed in about 6 weeks. I should be doing cartwheels right now but I'm not. I think that the exchange rate is worrying me. As well as isolation from friends and family and finding a job in teaching which is not easy. We are planning to fly to Melbourne at Easter and I'm petrified. However what I don't want is to not go and then regret it later on in life. Now where's that rescue relief remedy.:cute:

 

Good luck everyone.

 

Sue and family

That is it in one Jordanl, if you do not go the rest of our life would have been "what if" every time you have a setback it would have been "what if " we had gone to Australia, you got to dot it.

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We will be heading to Melbourne so you don't need to be totally alone!! We are heading to the Western suburbs around Point Cook area, we can meet in town for coffee/shopping/wine and gossip. I am feeling quite numb about it all, want to get excited but it may upset others, plus have got my final exams for my degree in 8 days and still loads to revise - keep getting distracted by this forum though!! What subject/age group do you teach? The west side may be good for you as there is loads of development going on, more people equals more children equals schools needing teachers - good luck with the house sale and keep posting!!!

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