nurse sue Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I am just a bit emotional at mo and having a big wobble think have cried every day the past week end sept beginning october is not a good time of year for me due to people close to me died in this period so bit of a wreck at the mo with trying to work and keeping things bobbing along. then came the cream to top the cake off My eldest has informed me that he wants to return to the uk asap as is unsettled (he has only been here since july) He is struggling to make friends he is 21 and although has made some friends via P I O they are couples and he feels as he put it "the 3rd wheel" they are great people. I think his girlfriend has put some pressure on him as she is unable to visit at moment and has now decided via email to finish there friendship. He has a few big life changing knocks in the past year which i think has also dented his confidence and made him a bit more wary of people. I know i cant wipe his A*** for him but as any mum knows you cant bear to see your children unhappy . I have tried to talk to him but he just bottles things up and says it is nothing I have done. I know how i felt when we left the uk 16 mths ago and he stayed behind .i am about to apply for my permanent residency and am now having doubts about this OH is like a pig in S*** in his council job and doesnt want ot go back to uk sorry to waffle but am not sure what else i can do am so unhappy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bray Family Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Older kids are differcult. My 17 year old has been a bit up and down but at the moment he is happy here.July is not really long enought to settle has your son a job? we have been here since April and for my son he has only just started to settle.Are you unhappy because you don't like it here or is it your son being unsettled making you unhappy?. Sarah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halshaw Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Hi I have no words of great advice for you but feel sad for you. We have just arrived in Melbourne with teenagers and my brother is here. You have managed so well to come out, set up your family and settle here for 16 months because its hard, harder than people think and we've got support. Kids are so unpredictable and I really wonder how my two will fare hopefully we've moved them before their UK bonds were too firm. As you said its a difficult time for you but I think you've done fantastically well to be here and more than cope, all the best xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest debsmates Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I am just a bit emotional at mo and having a big wobble think have cried every day the past week end sept beginning october is not a good time of year for me due to people close to me died in this period so bit of a wreck at the mo with trying to work and keeping things bobbing along.then came the cream to top the cake off My eldest has informed me that he wants to return to the uk asap as is unsettled (he has only been here since july) He is struggling to make friends he is 21 and although has made some friends via P I O they are couples and he feels as he put it "the 3rd wheel" they are great people. I think his girlfriend has put some pressure on him as she is unable to visit at moment and has now decided via email to finish there friendship. He has a few big life changing knocks in the past year which i think has also dented his confidence and made him a bit more wary of people. I know i cant wipe his A*** for him but as any mum knows you cant bear to see your children unhappy . I have tried to talk to him but he just bottles things up and says it is nothing I have done. I know how i felt when we left the uk 16 mths ago and he stayed behind .i am about to apply for my permanent residency and am now having doubts about this OH is like a pig in S*** in his council job and doesnt want ot go back to uk sorry to waffle but am not sure what else i can do am so unhappy. Hi Sue, I know exactly how you feel as im the same with my brood and if there unhappy makes you feel terrible when you feel theres nothing you can do to make it right! Add to that being in a new country and feeling torn as what to do for the best is a feeling i know well.. My advice (for what its worth) Apply for permanent residency, as if you go back now before you get it, you will regret. Over the next few weeks your son may meet mates new G/F and might change his mind about going back.. you know what kids are, down one minute then up the next.. All at the moment is alien to him and untill he gives it a real chance to settle will feel the draw of home and all thats familiar. Does he work or go to TAFE? you didn't say.. as doing these will get him to meet more friends. At the end of the day he is 21, i would just talk to him, ask him to give it untill xmas at least and then get him a return open ended flight which lasts for a year.. If he does go back , finds that him and his G/F are not going anywhere (as im sure this is the main reason he wants to go back) then at least he has tried it and has the ticket to return or if they do work out, work on getting his G/F over to Oz to live if thats what they both want? Things will work out.. i know hes your baby but he is a big boy now and needs to sort out for himself where he wants to be.. i know thats hard on us mums but by at least giving him the option to return within a year is a helping hand to him finding his feet. Must admit i chuckled over the OH pig in s*** comment.. :laugh: I hope that things will settle for you, dont miss out in your dream, whatever your son ends up doing he knows you love him and will always be there for him whether his here or back in UK.. Please feel free to mail me if you want to vent.. Debs :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sooveroz Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I am just a bit emotional at mo and having a big wobble think have cried every day the past week end sept beginning october is not a good time of year for me due to people close to me died in this period so bit of a wreck at the mo with trying to work and keeping things bobbing along.then came the cream to top the cake off My eldest has informed me that he wants to return to the uk asap as is unsettled (he has only been here since july) He is struggling to make friends he is 21 and although has made some friends via P I O they are couples and he feels as he put it "the 3rd wheel" they are great people. I think his girlfriend has put some pressure on him as she is unable to visit at moment and has now decided via email to finish there friendship. He has a few big life changing knocks in the past year which i think has also dented his confidence and made him a bit more wary of people. I know i cant wipe his A*** for him but as any mum knows you cant bear to see your children unhappy . I have tried to talk to him but he just bottles things up and says it is nothing I have done. I know how i felt when we left the uk 16 mths ago and he stayed behind .i am about to apply for my permanent residency and am now having doubts about this OH is like a pig in S*** in his council job and doesnt want ot go back to uk sorry to waffle but am not sure what else i can do am so unhappy. hi sue - just to say :hug: and I hope you feel happier soon. my kids are still young and just go along with what i say but i can imagine how you are feeling. you would be hurting if your child is hurting no matter where you are in the world, but when it is underpinned by feeling a bit out of sorts it just magnifies things i guess. from your username i see you are a nurse - are you working? nursing in australia is very different from the UK and it can take a while to settle into being a nurse here. i hated it when i first started and felt i had been transported back in time 20 years! not saying that is the case for you but if it is, it would also add to your unhappiness?? hope things pick up soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 :hug: There are quite a few of us whose kids have found the UK to offer them far more and have headed back permanently. It isnt easy but them's the breaks and we have done the same thing to our parents so it is a bit of *** for tat. If he wants to go then basically you have to let him. There is probably far more there for him than here unfortunately.:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Oh Sue So sorry, keep your chin up and big big hugs are sent your way. Love Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules37 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Hi Sue Sorry to hear how you are feeling at the moment, must be aweful for you. I hope things sort themselves out. Maybe if your son comes back to the UK for a holiday he may realise that he does actually like OZ and that it is just this latest blow with his girlfriend that has made him feel so negative about OZ. I really hope that things get better for you. Lots of hugs Jules Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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