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rainyc

Older kids causing stress!!!

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Hi there, wonder if anyone been in similar situation?? Have 18 yr old daughter who was all for coming to Oz till she met boyfriend, now def not coming, is moving in with him etc etc.....she will be on our visa so she will have option to come should she decide at a later date. I have sort of got my head around this but now probs with 16 yr old son who too has a lovely girlfriend, totally besotted by her and point blank refuses to discuss Oz, says he not going anywhere with us and we are selfish etc etc.!! Fact is he wanted to 6 months ago, is realy sporty and would love it but cannot convince him of this in any way, shape or form!! He is 17 in March, does anyone know legally where i stand. i could not go without him. He is a young 16 year old, typical male!!

If anyone has been in a similar situation or can offer any advice then it will be greatly received. Feel like this is all for nothing at the moment!!

 

:sad:


General Electrician, Vetassess July 09. 176 SS SA Lodged 10/9/09, Meds and pccs frontloaded April/May 09..... now waiting impatiently:wideeyed: but then case officer 28 Jan 2011, VISA GRANT 4th FEB 2011 yeeee haaaaaaa

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Guest wifey

yes i am in this situation too!!! my 17yr old son and 14yr old son was MORE THAN up for coming to OZ, now my 17 yr old has decided he doesnt want to come and has gone tolive with his dad, and now im not to sure about my 14yr old as he seems to go very quiet when OZ is brought up!!!!! i know both of them would love it there especially my youngest one as he too is sporty and loves fishing etc...

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Hi there, wonder if anyone been in similar situation?? Have 18 yr old daughter who was all for coming to Oz till she met boyfriend, now def not coming, is moving in with him etc etc.....she will be on our visa so she will have option to come should she decide at a later date. I have sort of got my head around this but now probs with 16 yr old son who too has a lovely girlfriend, totally besotted by her and point blank refuses to discuss Oz, says he not going anywhere with us and we are selfish etc etc.!! Fact is he wanted to 6 months ago, is realy sporty and would love it but cannot convince him of this in any way, shape or form!! He is 17 in March, does anyone know legally where i stand. i could not go without him. He is a young 16 year old, typical male!!

If anyone has been in a similar situation or can offer any advice then it will be greatly received. Feel like this is all for nothing at the moment!!

 

:sad:

Are we looking in a mirror same problem different image. The extended time that has taken to require our visas has made our children into adults so we must respect them as adults just do not treat them as children. Adults need to stand up for them selfs, stand on there own two feet, pay there way ect. Give them the choicetell them there is always a free ticket to join you i n oz.;

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Guest wifey
Are we looking in a mirror same problem different image. The extended time that has taken to require our visas has made our children into adults so we must respect them as adults just do not treat them as children. Adults need to stand up for them selfs, stand on there own two feet, pay there way ect. Give them the choicetell them there is always a free ticket to join you i n oz.;

 

THATS excatly what ive told my two boys if they want to go and live else where then so be it....friends cant beleive im doing this to my boys but i know full well they will come over in the end and i dont see why the rest of the family needs to miss out on a opotunity that we ALL AGREED ON at 1st!!:cry:

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Just remember that the kids still need to validate their visa (make the initial entry) by the date stated on the visa. My friends daughter validated her visa then returned back to the UK for 2 years, she's now here in Aus with her parents.


I just want PIO to be a happy place where people are nice to each other and unicorns poop rainbows

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Guest greengables

As Ali mentioned it seems as though all family members named on the visa need to enter on it to validate it if they wish to have the option to come later on. Maybe you could suggest to your son and daughter that you all go out together as a family for a holiday and initial reccie for a month or two. You could book your daughter a return flight knowing that even though she wants to be in the UK now she has at least had a taste of Australia and validated her visa if she decides she does want to join you more permanently later on. As for your son you could make him a promise that you will allow him to return after the reccie - it would then be up to you as to whether or not you wanted to stay in Australia or return with him. At worst it would be a family holiday, expensive but probably worth doing after all the effort and money you have spent getting visas arranged anyway. At best your son may love it and decide he is keen to stay. Romances at his age are not often long lasting and by the time you head out to Australia you may find that he no longer has a girlfriend and is excited about the idea again. I guess it would all come down to trust and he would probably want to know that you would stick to your promise of allowing him to return after the holiday if he wanted to. I suppose it would then be a matter of making sure he had a taste of the best of Australia in terms of sport, beaches etc to try and tempt him!

Even if you all came back again at least your visas would be validated and you could see what happened from there. It's a difficult situation after all the planning and preparation you have done but I guess trying to force an unwilling 17 year old into a permanent move against his will is likely to cause you all more distress than anything else. I feel for you....such a stressful thing to encounter at this stage of your planning. I hope it all works out.

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Hi there - I was in exactly the same situation - my son who had been to Perth 6 times, suddenly decided that he didn't want to come with us last November - he was 18 in October and had a girlfriend. He also has a great job working with light aircraft - in a few years he will be old enough to get his engineering licenses and the world will be his oyster too.

 

Its been very difficult for me to be without him, he is my only child (she says) however he is doing well in the UK and has stayed in our house with some friends. I think it has taught him a lot and made him far more appreciative.

 

He validated his visa last year and will be here just after Xmas - I hope one day he will decide to come out here.

 

Whilst it would have been easy to have stayed in the UK because he didn't want to come - I couldn't let this opportunity go by without giving it a go. I didn't want to get old and sit back and think "what if".

 

Its been very hard, but they grow up and we have to respect that they want to make their own decisions - all we can do is to support them and be there if they need us. Our friends are convinced that one day Lewis will want to be here with us - I just cannot wait for that day to come.

 

Good luck with the move - hope it works out well for you all.

 

Karen x

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We are similar.

Visa was granted in March and our then 15 year old was devistated. She went on that we were taking her away from her friends. During the year 11 exams she saw less of the friends; mainly as they were revising and not just hanging around their usual haunt.

During this time she came round to the idea.

Then the 6 week holidays started.....

She then told us she has a boyfriend....

Now we are back to the 'you are ruining my life'

As she is 16 we have told her she has to come until she is 18. I would be devistated if she came back to the UK but she will be an adult. I'm not looking forward to this part at all :sad:


47SV Special Migrant Former Resident Visa Applied 15.9.08 Granted 10.3.09

Arrived 19.9.09 Lovin' it!!

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Thanks for all your replies. Think what my plan is now is i not going to mention it too much, house is on market now, for sale sign going up today, if my 16 yr old is realy adamant he not coming next year then i will wait to see if he makes any plans for where he thinks he will live, how he will support himself etc. Then again if him and girlfriend split i thnk he will change his mind. We live in Chelmsford so if any of you got a boy similar age in Essex area then maybe we could keep in touch for possible future meet should it all fall into place and be good for teenagers to talk to one another, on msn or something?? Wishful thinking he would agree to this.

Will keep you posted on any updates, so in meantime its ongoing with this Visa!!

We just lodged state sponsor for south australia.

Good luck to you all


General Electrician, Vetassess July 09. 176 SS SA Lodged 10/9/09, Meds and pccs frontloaded April/May 09..... now waiting impatiently:wideeyed: but then case officer 28 Jan 2011, VISA GRANT 4th FEB 2011 yeeee haaaaaaa

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hi rainy ....defo get her to go and validate ...and then at least she has the option ....however i would not push the issue of her staying too much ...im going through a similar dilemma at the mo ...our daughter is 20 and her boyfriend came out with her on a whmv ...she is on our pr ....unfortunately he says he does not want to stay and is going home in feb ...so yes youve guessed it she wants to go home to :arghh:.....she has just started a new job and im hoping by the time feb comes round she will see things in a different light ....although her and the boyfriend will have been together nearly 3 years by then ...deep down she knows that hes not the one she is gona marry [thankfully] ...so at the mo we are trying to bite our lip and hope that common sense prevails .....as she pointed out to me it was our dream to come to oz ...so why should she be miserable ...which is a fair point ...although i was miss her desperately ...sometimes you just have to let them do their own thing ...i remember what i was like at that age ...and there was no way i would have moved out of my comfort zone to please my parents !!! .....its hard [very hard ] but they will do what the gota do ....and we just have to grin and bear it im afraid :cry:

mrs keily

 

 

sorry after reading realised the prob was with ur son [not daughter ] so get him to validate etc lol


LIFE IS A COIN , YOU CAN SPEND IT ON WHATEVER YOU WISH , BUT ... YOU CAN ONLY SPEND IT ONCE

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Yes am going to make sure he validates. Sorry to hear about prob with your daughter, hopefully she will stay once boyfriend returns and meet a nice ozzy guy!!

Kids hey...i gone try not to worry and guess got to say to yourself that at least option is open for them to join us once they grow up a little and realise not much on offer in the UK!!

The thing is its such a worry, we as adults are worried about finding work, houses, cost of living, what will it realy be like?? Unsure ourselves and then trying to convince kids its best thing to do!

Thanks for your advise and glad your all settled and over there already.

 

Rainy:laugh:


General Electrician, Vetassess July 09. 176 SS SA Lodged 10/9/09, Meds and pccs frontloaded April/May 09..... now waiting impatiently:wideeyed: but then case officer 28 Jan 2011, VISA GRANT 4th FEB 2011 yeeee haaaaaaa

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Guest Chumscrubber

Hi Everyone!

I'm 18 and I've been here for over 18 months now. When my mum first told me we were going to be moving to Australia I said yes to it but then changed my mind as I was still with my boyfriend of 2 years. However I was only 16, I suppose i could of, if I really wanted to, not come. But it would have been the worst thing I'd ever done. I told my boyfriend that i really wanted to go for it and he didn't understand, he got very angry and said I was leaving him. And that kind of attitude made my decision for me. If he could not understand that my family comes first then I'm afraid it wouldn't work. I do not regret moving with my family - I absoloutely LOVE it here. I've made some of the best friends I've ever had - mixture of English and Aussie! I have an English boyfriend he's great, I have had 2 jobs and I really enjoyed both of them, that's how i met most of my friends. I am now in TAFE full-time and working part-time and I am really glad that my mum and dad gave me this oppurtunity in life!!! If any of you want me to chat to any of your teens I'd be more than happy to I've got plenty to say... I've got msn or email is fine Just PM me.

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