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Guest carrie8675

Negative comments from family about emigrating

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Guest carrie8675

Hi There

 

Just wondering if anybody has experienced negativity from their family when you told them you were emigrating...

 

My parents were devastated when I told them wish I had kept it quiet now, I know they will really miss us and vice versa and I feel bad for taking my girls away from their grandparents, my sister just refuses to talk about it with us its all a bit weird :sad: but at the same time we are really keen to go :cool: Life is never easy

 

Carrie x

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Hi

 

Sorry to hear your family have not taken the news of your move well. It is a very difficult thing to hear but you have got to live life for yourself & your family and if you feel you can give them a better on in Australia then go for it.

 

As my gran used to say " it's not a dress rehearsal"

 

Go for it & Good Luck!

 

Emma

:wubclub:


Lang may yer lum reek!

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Guest sanders family

Hi know how you feel, we had the same give them time they will come round. We told our family last jan and it took them till we got the visa and now they are all for us going, must be the cheap holidays they are thinking about.:biglaugh: I'm sure it will be ok in time good luck x

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Guest joe & ian

yes we know what you mean my mum and step dad are going to oz as well but my nan (my kids great nan) is really really upset does'nt want to talk about it at all, even at christmas she cryed saying it was the last christmas we would be all together.... but understands that we are doing it for the right reasons it is hard!! lets hope its the right thing to do !!!!

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Hi ,know just how you are feeling ! we told my mum last week she was so upset ,my dad died 2yrs ago and it has been hard. so to tell her this news was a shock to her,we have to girls aswell and i feel the same as you ,my mum see's them alot .But also my husband has 2 brothers living out in oz and to break the news to his dad was a hard thing to do too !!! .Keep positive people can be jealous and make you feel guilty but remember you are doing this for your family !!!!!!! your 2 girls are the ones that count !! if you need a chat just let me know . from Nicky

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Guest Becky8976

We've had the same. My mums being really supportive but having spoken to her friend I now know she's not coping that well with the news. My sister cries everytime we talk about it and my other sister won't acknowledge it at all. Although I understand they wil miss us, I do think they are being selfish. It's always about how much they will miss us and I've had to remind them that they will be missing 5 people and will have each other for support we will be missing EVERYONE and no friends to whine to about it!!

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Guest carrie8675

Thanks everybody you have all made me feel so much better:biggrin: We are doing it for all the right reasons and it feels right inside, lifes for living would hate to be sitting in 20 years time having not done it saying "What if..." Hopefully my family will come round :v_SPIN: Nicky will keep you in mind for a chat if it all gets worse thanks for that, where are you hoping to go we are thinking Melbourne or Sydney x

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Hi

 

It's so difficult my mum is very supportive and understands why we are going but she did get upset the other day after having a few two many drinks. Started crying saying that my daughters are the only thing that keeps her going. How bad did I feel I did feel really bad thinking how can I do that to her how will she cope when we have gone.

 

But I know as a family we need to a least try and I have reasured her that she is more than welcome to come and stay as long as she wants. If it was possible I would take her with me. Hope it works out for you.

 

Donna


TRA submitted successful April 29th Submitted SS for WA May 4th SS approved 2nd Sep Lodged 176 10th Sep X-rays & PC 11th meds booked 26th sep(cancelled meds 25th) CO allocated 21st Feb 2011 pc, meds 21/311 Visa Grant 4/4/11 :smile:

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Hi,

 

I guess i've been quite fortunate compared to others in this post. My folks and brothers have all been very supportive. In fact when i told my mum, she said, 'i've been waiting for this conversation'. I suppose i set out my intentions years ago when i told them i would be leaving the UK when i hit 30. Granted, i'll be doing it 2 years earlier than planned.

 

I think it may be a different scenario for families if you have kids you are taking with you, or if you live close by to your family and see them frequently now. I am not in that situation, though i will miss 2 of my nephews as i do see them regularly. But they are too young to be affected by me going.

 

Ultimately, people do not like change or shocks to the system. Once you have gone, their mind sets will change and they will be very supportive.... Better late than never ;-)

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My parents would not even say the word Australia for about a year. about 3 months before we left they finally started talking about it. I believe it is because they love you and will miss you terribly that it is the way it comes out. Get skype set up on computers before you leave i have found it helps, and i now speak more to parents than when i was in UK.

You have to keep in mind the reasons you are going, hope it gets easier for you as negitivity is not really what you want to hear all the time, Once they accept you are going it will get better as they won't want to keep going on at you.

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Guest guest24485

It's important for family to realise you aren't doing it to be nasty or even awkward but because you are trying to find a better way of life for you and your family. My parents have been nothing but supportive with our move. It will be hard for them as we have a 2 year old daughter, but internet is easy to use so it's not like we never going to talk. I have sensed some negativity from some family as to the fact that I am dragging my family away from them. This isn't the case. I want a better way of life for my daughter. If people want to be like that then let them. Don't let it put you down. People will more than likely come round because they will have to. I will particularly miss my ol' man as he is on his own and we see him every sunday. It will be hard but we have got him a webcam and signed him up for skype so we will still talk every week. We have also said that we will come back once a year to see family and he will come see us aswell. Keep positive. Don't let it get to you cos the whole process is stressfull enough without family fallouts.

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Guest evertheoptimist

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. My mum and dad have been great I'm the only child left and my children are their only grandchildren. We travel out next month and my parents have even booked flights to come out for xmas. My friends have been great and already making plans to visit.

 

Then there are the doubters, certain work colleagues who hate to see anyone else happy (which is tough cos' i'm happy even when things are really bad) and the ones who think we are so dumb that we haven't thought about what we are doing (doh). One or 2 cousins who seem to think they have to compete with us every step of the way, (getting married having kids etc).

 

Here's a thought would any of the doubters put their lives on hold for us? I think NOT!!!

 

Live your lives be happy and sod the consequences. I know better than most that life is for living to the max because it can all be over in a flash.

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Guest elaineyc

Hi carrie, i know how you feel as have had some negative comments too, especially from sis-in-law telling our 9 yr old that he'd be put into after school care during hols etc as there would be no auntie's to help out. Nice eh? Also she seems to think aus is just the same as here,though she's never been there but guess she thinks she's an expert. lol. In laws are being okay though not saying too much about it. Just have to keep telling your folks that at least they'll have a great holiday destination to visit and it'll be quality time spent together rather than quantity. The application takes so long at least that will give them more time to get their heads around it. At the end of the day you are no doubt doing it for much the same reasons as a lot of us. Trying to give our kids a better upbringin etc etc. When you feel low just remind yourself of why you want to go. You are not alone, I question my motives nearly every day and would rather give this dream a go than to never even try and live to regret it. Life is short and passes us by all to quickly. If things didn't work out then at least you'll have had an adventure to talk about when your old and wrinkly! ( thats presuming you're not already) lol. Keep your chin up and think of the reasons your going fresh in your head. Too many people will want to chuck in their tuppence worth but maybe they're just jealous and resent you for being brave and trying to improve your life and enhance it. x elaineyc

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Guest snow white

hi all

its going to be hard for members of your family to understand why you would move to the other side of the world and they will feel they are going to miss out on a big part of your lives, some people may experience the other side where family will support them and wish them all the best, with internet and webcams it is much easier to keep in touch, and at the end of the day remember your doing it for a better life for your family too

wishing everyone all the best for whatever the future may hold

 

lesley x

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Hi There

 

Just wondering if anybody has experienced negativity from their family when you told them you were emigrating...

 

My parents were devastated when I told them wish I had kept it quiet now, I know they will really miss us and vice versa and I feel bad for taking my girls away from their grandparents, my sister just refuses to talk about it with us its all a bit weird :sad: but at the same time we are really keen to go :cool: Life is never easy

 

Carrie x

they are not negative comments but in code saying we love you & we dont know how to say it. Why is it sometimes it is the hardest words to say.

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Guest eurosyl

Hi Carrie,

 

Sorry to hear what you are going through.

 

My parents both have passed away already, so I did not have to tell them but I am pretty sure my mum would have felt let down. My oldest bro told me he 'hated me going away' , but he also added he would rather have me 'happy in Australia, than unhappy in NL' . And when I left NL to spent my sabbatical in Oz he told my ozzie boyfriend that he better makes me happy or else.. *grins*

 

In the end it is about your happines. Do what makes you feel happy, and make your family understand it is not about deserting them, it is about starting a life with great opportunities elsewhere. I hope they will turn around soon.

 

Sylvia

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