Stuck in a rutt!

[twinkle 10]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to put my story out there and see if anyone can relate, has any advice, thoughts or ideas- everything welcome!

I have lived in Sydney for a year and a half now, having moved here with hubby on a 457 visa. In the beginning we were really excited to be here, made lots of effort to be social, get out there, meet people and make new friends.

But over this time I have had some bad health issues, spent a lot of time isolated at home and just recently had to return to the Uk for some time as there was a death in the family.

I am now finding that those friendships that were developing have faded, people have moved on, found different friends or just got bored waiting. I am now left feeling incredibly sad and lonely, dealing with the grief and loss all alone and not having people to talk and share with.

I really like to be social and am really missing those close friendships from home. I feel stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea- I need friends to talk to and lean on, but how do you initiate new friendships when your life is feeling like a roller-coaster?!

so confused by it all....

[Guest lovediving]

Hi Twinkle,

 

Not easy, your situation I have been there. When I first came to Sydney I came after losing my mother and was very isolated and alone and had to go through a lot of bereavement without any real support.

 

I can relate to how you feel and to be honest you are not in the friendliest of cities anyway which does not help.

 

I think you should keep in contact with your friends in the UK via facebook, phone if possible and try to find things that make you happy, it could be going for a long walk, thinking of a new business idea or anything that you enjoy.

 

I am also in a rut that I never thought I would find myself in and being so far from everyone does not help but I have financial reasons for not going right now.

 

There are people out there that do care and you did the right thing by posting here because I am sure many will offer you support.

 

You are more than welcome to PM me and I will give you my number and you can call me anytime to chat.

 

Take care

 

x

 

 

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to put my story out there and see if anyone can relate, has any advice, thoughts or ideas- everything welcome!

I have lived in Sydney for a year and a half now, having moved here with hubby on a 457 visa. In the beginning we were really excited to be here, made lots of effort to be social, get out there, meet people and make new friends.

But over this time I have had some bad health issues, spent a lot of time isolated at home and just recently had to return to the Uk for some time as there was a death in the family.

I am now finding that those friendships that were developing have faded, people have moved on, found different friends or just got bored waiting. I am now left feeling incredibly sad and lonely, dealing with the grief and loss all alone and not having people to talk and share with.

I really like to be social and am really missing those close friendships from home. I feel stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea- I need friends to talk to and lean on, but how do you initiate new friendships when your life is feeling like a roller-coaster?!

so confused by it all....

[twinkle 10]

Thanks for the kind words,

I am sorry for the loss of your mother, my loss was mum too so I can relate. It's a tough one to deal with, it brings up so much stuff.

But it's nice to have some thoughts from other people apart from hubby. I feel like I am loading far too much on him at the moment and he needs some time off!!

I really appreciate your efforts and offers:)

 

You are right, Sydney is a very tough city to meet people in, I never thought it would be this hard.

I do keep in contact with those back in Blighty, but it's just not the same as face to face contact, a hug when you need it and a shoulder to cry on.

I don't want to leave Sydney at the moment either but it is definitely tempting right now regardless of commitments here!

 

I am a bit of a techno phobe and am not sure how you PM on here! At least I know what PM means I suppose!

 

Thanks again, T

[The Pom Queen 5,788]

Sorry you are having such a hard time. I wish you were a little closer I would be there for that shoulder to cry on or off load to. I am sure there are some members on here who are local and who could help. You are welcome to contact me anytime for a chat and if your ever in Melbourne look me up.

Big virtual hugs sent your way, keep strong.

Kate

[Guest lovediving]

Hi, PM means Personal Mail sorry, I will send you one.

 

regards

 

Thanks for the kind words,

I am sorry for the loss of your mother, my loss was mum too so I can relate. It's a tough one to deal with, it brings up so much stuff.

But it's nice to have some thoughts from other people apart from hubby. I feel like I am loading far too much on him at the moment and he needs some time off!!

I really appreciate your efforts and offers:)

 

You are right, Sydney is a very tough city to meet people in, I never thought it would be this hard.

I do keep in contact with those back in Blighty, but it's just not the same as face to face contact, a hug when you need it and a shoulder to cry on.

I don't want to leave Sydney at the moment either but it is definitely tempting right now regardless of commitments here!

 

I am a bit of a techno phobe and am not sure how you PM on here! At least I know what PM means I suppose!

 

Thanks again, T

[twinkle 10]

Your words are very kind, if I ever get to Melbourne- which I still have not got round to doing, I will look you up!

[Guest Noodle]

Hi twinkle, sorry to hear you are not to good hon. I have a friend in a very similar position to yourself, she has been housebound for just over four years. Her eldest child is now 18 and her youngest child is 13. For all her 40 years of life living in one place, being social (football -both boys same club), school etc.. you get the picture... I can honestly say one of that hardest things she has had to deal with is the lack of just a phone call every now and then. Myself and one other women call, visit and arrange girlie nights (in obviously) but thats it.

 

I can't feel how you are feeling but I can understand, I have seen the highs and lows she goes through (which can be harder than the pain and restriction), all I can say is - it depends on the individual people you make friends with, you never know it could be the one you least expect it to be.

 

One other thing, if it does just happen to be your bones, stay in the warm weather. Good luck babe in what ever you decide.

 

Best wishes xxx

[TheBrammies 3,100]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to put my story out there and see if anyone can relate, has any advice, thoughts or ideas- everything welcome!

I have lived in Sydney for a year and a half now, having moved here with hubby on a 457 visa. In the beginning we were really excited to be here, made lots of effort to be social, get out there, meet people and make new friends.

But over this time I have had some bad health issues, spent a lot of time isolated at home and just recently had to return to the Uk for some time as there was a death in the family.

I am now finding that those friendships that were developing have faded, people have moved on, found different friends or just got bored waiting. I am now left feeling incredibly sad and lonely, dealing with the grief and loss all alone and not having people to talk and share with.

I really like to be social and am really missing those close friendships from home. I feel stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea- I need friends to talk to and lean on, but how do you initiate new friendships when your life is feeling like a roller-coaster?!

so confused by it all....

 

 

easy you can be friends with all of us

and because were cyber friends we can't drink all the booze

[Petals 4,259]

I believe that we only make a few really close friends in life and of course they have their own lives to live. They also move etc.

 

For instance my best friend lives in Queensland now and I live in Victoria however that does not stop us from talking on the phone most weeks, emailing each other and I see her once a year or maybe more. We share a long long time of friendship and a new friend could not replace that friendship as there would not be the history there. If either of us moved overseas our friendship would continue unaltered.

 

Friends pop into our lives and leave for one reason or another and others follow. Just go with the flow. I do not think you can look for friends they just happen.

 

So speak to your long term friends in UK on skype use the video phone and enjoy the friendship.

 

I do not replace friends just add new ones when they pop along.

 

Good luck sorry you have been poorly.

[Guest nikkichap]

Hi Twinkle. Sorry to here you are having a tough time. I am too. I can relate to losing a mother. I lost my mum a year before I came out to OZ. :sad: I have found it very difficult to make friends here, as much as I try. I go out of my way to try and strike up conversatoins with people at the school or in the local shops etc. I have felt very isolated at times and although I stay in contact with my friends back home via, e-mail, Skype and facebook it's not the same. Us girls need to be close to other females and to have friends to chat to. It's tough! I have decided to go home. I hope you manage to find some good friends. Maybe get in touch with the ones you had before you went back to the UK. It could be that they just need a little poke to let them know you are around again. You could see if there is an ex-pats meet up in your area or try and arrange one. There are sure to be others that need friends in your area. Good luck. X

[Guest snow white]

hi twinkle,

sorry you are finding things hard at the moment im on gold coast so there's not much i can do but if you ever find yourself this way please look me up my doors always open for a coffee or something stronger if need be, even for a friendly chat,

we all try so hard to make friends and then find these are not what we call true friends only fair weather ones i hope someone who's in Sydney will answer your post in the meantime were all on here to offer any support we can all the best

lesley x

[twinkle 10]

Hi,

thank you for your kind words, and I am sorry that you too have found it tough. I really struggle to understand these fair weather friend types, I am one of those people who stick around through thick and thin and nievely I think I expect the same!

I hope you find what you are looking for on your return, and that your true friends are waiting for you with open arms.

All the best wishes and luck in the world, Tara:)

[twinkle 10]

Thank you so much for the kind words,

it goes some way to reinstate my faith in humanity! As stated previously I think i am nieve in thinking everyone is as loyal a friend as I am, I don't understand these fair weather friends.

If I'm in the Gold Coast area in the near future I'll look you up!

Thanks again,

best wishes, Tara:)

[Guest oxboy]

hey Twinkle, sorry to hear of your plight, my wife recently lost her Dad and we had to go back to the UK for a bit in all the snow to, and our friends here in Oz were stars when we went all of a sudden and also when we came back, think to be honest it may be where you live, we live in Coffs Harbour and its really friendly here and there are a lot of ex sydneysiders who move here to get outa the rat race. Please don't get to down hearted it will work out for you just you may have to try a move.

[Guest The Jenners]

Hi Twinkle,

 

So sorry to hear that you're not doing so well... I know (also from experience!) that it can be difficult to find 'proper' friends - you know what I mean!

 

I just wanted to suggest perhaps finding a community centre or TAFE that might do a short course on a subject you might be interested in? That can be a really good way of finding like-minded people and you know they have a common interest as you're all on the same course together! I have found that since joining the CFA I have felt much more part of the community and although I thought I was feeling at home here, it feels much more like that now I know some more people locally!

 

Just my 2c I know, but hopefully it will help...

 

Take care, Jac

[Guest snow white]

Thank you so much for the kind words,

it goes some way to reinstate my faith in humanity! As stated previously I think i am nieve in thinking everyone is as loyal a friend as I am, I don't understand these fair weather friends.

If I'm in the Gold Coast area in the near future I'll look you up!

Thanks again,

best wishes, Tara:)

 

hi tara,

make sure you do ,

all the best

 

lesley x

[samozsoon 27]

Hi Twinkle,

Where abouts in Sydney are you? We're about an hour south west of Sydney, and have been here 14 months now.

I dont work atm so I am available to meet up if you wanted to.

I dont get on here much anymore so email me if you'd like to.

samozsoon@yahoo.co.uk

 

Sam x