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Guest Celtic.H.

In a pickle

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Guest Celtic.H.

Hi guys,

 

This is our first time on here even though been in Oz for about a year now. Initially when we came out we were offered a place in rural NSW (thankfully we didn't have a regional visa). We hated it there so much, my wife is a nurse and I look after our daughter, I have a degree in geology and a another in surveying but are from some time ago. After about 5 months we decided to get out, our recruitment agent was a bitch saying if we moved we have our visas revoked, all rubbish according to immigration, we seriously thought of going back to Cornwall/Devon but decided to give another place a try. We ended up coming to Perth, which we do like but after a while it has just sunk in how much we miss home. I have found it really difficult to get a decent job, luckily my wife is working in a good nursing role (although they are so backward here in relation to the NHS it is untrue), I recently applied to the police and passed all the tests but they are cutting back on recruitment now. I look after my daughter which is a privelage to do. But we are really missing home, I wanted to come out to kickstart a career, did some FIFO gold exploration but the family just hate me being away and so do I. Before we came out we had a good life, a cottage in the country, wife had a good job, I had an ok job, but it wasn't good enough for me and I wanted to come. We know we are going through a period of homesickness and have done many times, but this one appears to quite prolonge this time. We have very little money left and a couple of small loans for cars. We are going to give it another 6 months and reassess our decision, little one is 2 so no real worries in taking her out of school. We are just coming to realise what we had and what we gave up. Oz is great and we have had such a great time but we just feel now it just isn't what we had before. Trouble is we have very little money to go back with, my wife could more than likely get a role within her nursing specialism and on the nhs job site appear to be a number. We just are in such a dilemma at the moment, we have a pro's and cons list and there are more pros for Oz, but it just doesn't feel like the place we want to end up staying. Don't know why I am writing this, I know people love this place and if we could spend a few months here and the rest in the UK, great (although I would prefer capetown it is nearer and just as nice). what if we cant afford to pay off the loans here, as they are attached to cars, could we just give the cars to the finace company?

 

HHHHHEEEELLLPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

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Just wanted to say good luck whatever you decide, it is a hard decision for you, we aren't out in oz yet, so i don't know how i will feel about things, to be able to offer you any advice.

I'm sure someone will be along shortly perhaps in your shoes

Tania X


Is looking forward to the future and all what it holds:biggrin:

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good luck with whatever you decide , some one will prob be around to help , is there an advice bureau , sort of like here in uk?

 

not every one likes oz , and knowone will know untill they try it , sorry yours has not been a great experience ... all the best for the future!


to much partying to much booze gives you spots and makes you snooze!

sharon.

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Guest Guruju
Hi guys,

 

We are just coming to realise what we had and what we gave up. Oz is great and we have had such a great time but we just feel now it just isn't what we had before.

 

Hi Celitic.H

 

Sorry to hear how you are currently feeling. We live in Perth so I thought I might see if I can help at all and make some suggestions for you to think/try. I just wondered if there were key aspects of your life back in the UK that you are able to share given your statement shown in the quote above. I guess once I get a sense of what those aspects were I may be able to share my experiences and make some suggestions.

 

Cheers

 

Julia

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Guest earlswood

Capetown :huh: are you mad......even South Africans are leaving in droves.....it is going to get worse as the blacks are still living in tin shacks and are getting very restless.

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Guest Celtic.H.

Thanks guys,

 

Hi Julia,

 

Our situation was that we lived in Cornwall/Devon, my wife had a great nursing managers role, good money, we had a beautiful cottage in the country with fields around. Unfortunately I couldn't take up degree related employment there and my wife didn't want to move away so I decided to stay and take ordinary jobs and renovated our cottage. As years went on I just yearned for a career and pushed my wife into coming here for me to get a career. She didn't want to at first but decided to get a nursing job to get us in. Unfortunately I have found it really hard to get on the career ladder, I am in my early 40's and starting from scratch and finding it hard. I have no real experience connected to my degrees and am to over qualified for the ordinary ones, they look at my CV and know I aint gonna stay for long which is fair, I would think the same thing. Basically I am in the same position here as I was in Cornwall, and I am starting to realise that grass isn't greener and we shouldn't have given up what we had. Our life was pretty idyllic really, we love Perth and what it has to offer but it just isn't the same. Sometimes you realise you have made a big mistake and you just want to turn the clock back.

 

Celtic H

 

Earlswood: Capetown is just like Perth and not really part of South Africa if you ask the locals, A beautiful place and great for winter sun, not to live though although I do have friends and family there.

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Guest Guruju

Hi Celtic.H.

 

I really do feel for your situation. Not sure I can be of any help, but sometimes it just good to have contact with other people to help the thinking so I'll float some thoughts over to you.....

 

I guess the beauty of Australia is that people can actually reinvent themselves (think Madonna!). They do not have to be what they were before they got here. Do you think it's worth you looking to see what opportunities are here, work wise, that would not be on offer in the UK but that you might actually find satisfying?

 

I worked in London in the legal profession before coming here - I had a go at lots of things that pushed me out of comfort zone and that I would never have done in the UK (don't laugh) - Hostess on 4WD adventure tours; Roustabout in the shearing sheds and driving the tractor/header cropping wheat; cattle station work; outback pub barmaid and cook and temping/contract work in Perth offices. I learned to let go of what I was in the UK and just enjoyed exploring different work. I did my MBA here and got into management across industries and business I would never have gained access to in the UK.

 

The other aspect here is that many people "work to live" rather than "live to work" so its all about quality time doing other things that work pays for and there is less emphasis on getting personal satisfaction from work and more on enjoying being with people you like doing activities you like. Has this been a focus for you and your family?

 

The cottage and rural outlook and community is alive and well in WA, particularly in the Southwest but there are also pockets around the City, have you thought of moving to such a location - examples Chittering, Brigadoon, Bindoon, Baldivis, Mundairing, Mundijong, Byford - I could list more but just wanted to give you an idea.

 

What I have learned about being in Australia is that my inner happiness with life is not dependent on material things, or job status etc but genuinely on quality of life and doing the things I enjoy the most. In the UK people may judge me a failure by not having the career or job focus that was so prevalent when I worked in London do you think this is part of the problem for you? Success means different things to different people, what does it mean for you (Don't have to answer this I am just trying to get you to think about things a bit deeper).

 

Maybe you do need to go back but on holiday and just recheck that your memory of things is the reality that now exists in the UK, sometimes we do need to do that in order to move forward?

 

It does take time to settle in - 2 years seems to be the turning point for many people.

 

Hope the above helps. I wish you and your family all the best.

 

Cheers

 

Julia

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Guest WARDStoOZ

Hi and welcome to PomsinOz!!!

 

Lots of Luck with the decision...!!!

 

Dan :-)

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Firstly I want to say I truely understand your dilema and with empathy. I have met many in a similar situation (guys with PHds). In fact I have done an in-depth study with practical experience to determine how one can change your own circumstances. Unfortunately many people wait to long before they ask for help - which provides you with more stress and with less choices.

 

On my website (Perth Migrant Support) below you will find all the information you need. How to assess your own transferable skills, career transition, find a niche, create a business network and selling your self. Also if you need to start a small business.

 

I sincerely hope that this will help!

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Guest earlswood
Thanks guys,

 

Hi Julia,

 

Our situation was that we lived in Cornwall/Devon, my wife had a great nursing managers role, good money, we had a beautiful cottage in the country with fields around. Unfortunately I couldn't take up degree related employment there and my wife didn't want to move away so I decided to stay and take ordinary jobs and renovated our cottage. As years went on I just yearned for a career and pushed my wife into coming here for me to get a career. She didn't want to at first but decided to get a nursing job to get us in. Unfortunately I have found it really hard to get on the career ladder, I am in my early 40's and starting from scratch and finding it hard. I have no real experience connected to my degrees and am to over qualified for the ordinary ones, they look at my CV and know I aint gonna stay for long which is fair, I would think the same thing. Basically I am in the same position here as I was in Cornwall, and I am starting to realise that grass isn't greener and we shouldn't have given up what we had. Our life was pretty idyllic really, we love Perth and what it has to offer but it just isn't the same. Sometimes you realise you have made a big mistake and you just want to turn the clock back.

 

Celtic H

 

Earlswood: Capetown is just like Perth and not really part of South Africa if you ask the locals, A beautiful place and great for winter sun, not to live though although I do have friends and family there.

 

Are you kidding :nah:I have relatives who have come back after living there 15 years they had bars and iron gates on there house in Blouberg cape town, they said it is just to dangerous to live there now....holiday yes....but to live is to dangerous.

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Guest sides

Unfortunately I couldn't take up degree related employment there and my wife didn't want to move away so I decided to stay and take ordinary jobs and renovated our cottage. As years went on I just yearned for a career and pushed my wife into coming here for me to get a career.

 

Celtic h

Really sorry to hear you're not enjoying your time there. Just wanted to ask what you're going to do if you come back to the UK. If you can start a new career in the UK couldn't you start a new one in oz? It sounds like you had a lovely life when you were here but there must have been something here that wasn't all it was cracked up to be. To be honest I have a lot of sympathy for you as I'm wondering what I'm going to do when we get there. I have a good job with nice money for a second wage but don't have any qualifications. Our son will be 13 so hopefully will be busy with friends and I must admit I'm concerned about what I'm going to do while oh is busy working. But, I'll try anything once.

 

Anyway, chin up and good luck.

 

Sam

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Hi Celtic

 

I hope you come to the right decision and i can sympathise with you as we have been here 2 1/2 years and its just hit home that we want to be back in UK too. Its come at a really bad time with all thats happening there with jobs etc. Your wife is a nurse and could easlly get a job (i would hope). What is stopping you? Your wife didnt want to come it was you so just go back. However it is not that easy as you know. People make you doubt yourself because they are having a great time here in Oz and it makes you unsure if you are doing the right thing. All i can say is really talk to your wife and make sure she is happy with whatever decision you make and jump into it together.

 

You should go back for a holiday to see if it is really worth going home first but i know you have no money to do this (neither have we) and it makes it an even harder decision. Its a frightening feeling and it makes your stomach churn.

 

I am using this year finish my training for a new career and then see whats happening at the end of the year as to if we return. Maybe you could put yourself through some sort of flexible open learning to help when and if you return to get a job. It may make the year pass by easier knowing you are working towards something. Maybe you could do one of those post grad courses to become a geogrpahy teacher or whatever subject you like and you know you can always get a job in teaching (here or UK) and still have holidays off to look after your daughter.

 

Good luck with your hard decision

Georgie

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Guest JoanneHattersley

Hi Celtic,

 

The one to remember is that you WILL miss family! Its human nature, a natural emotion! I always think that everyone suffers from homesickness, you just learn to live with it!

I hope that you come to the right decision for you. At the end of the day, if you do go back remember that it is better to have tried than not to try at all. Many people are not even brave enough to try once!!

 

Do you keep in regular contact with family? Through email, Skype etc?

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Guest snow white
Hi guys,

 

This is our first time on here even though been in Oz for about a year now. Initially when we came out we were offered a place in rural NSW (thankfully we didn't have a regional visa). We hated it there so much, my wife is a nurse and I look after our daughter, I have a degree in geology and a another in surveying but are from some time ago. After about 5 months we decided to get out, our recruitment agent was a bitch saying if we moved we have our visas revoked, all rubbish according to immigration, we seriously thought of going back to Cornwall/Devon but decided to give another place a try. We ended up coming to Perth, which we do like but after a while it has just sunk in how much we miss home. I have found it really difficult to get a decent job, luckily my wife is working in a good nursing role (although they are so backward here in relation to the NHS it is untrue), I recently applied to the police and passed all the tests but they are cutting back on recruitment now. I look after my daughter which is a privelage to do. But we are really missing home, I wanted to come out to kickstart a career, did some FIFO gold exploration but the family just hate me being away and so do I. Before we came out we had a good life, a cottage in the country, wife had a good job, I had an ok job, but it wasn't good enough for me and I wanted to come. We know we are going through a period of homesickness and have done many times, but this one appears to quite prolonge this time. We have very little money left and a couple of small loans for cars. We are going to give it another 6 months and reassess our decision, little one is 2 so no real worries in taking her out of school. We are just coming to realise what we had and what we gave up. Oz is great and we have had such a great time but we just feel now it just isn't what we had before. Trouble is we have very little money to go back with, my wife could more than likely get a role within her nursing specialism and on the nhs job site appear to be a number. We just are in such a dilemma at the moment, we have a pro's and cons list and there are more pros for Oz, but it just doesn't feel like the place we want to end up staying. Don't know why I am writing this, I know people love this place and if we could spend a few months here and the rest in the UK, great (although I would prefer capetown it is nearer and just as nice). what if we cant afford to pay off the loans here, as they are attached to cars, could we just give the cars to the finace company?

 

HHHHHEEEELLLPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

hi guys sorry to hear what your going through, only you can decide what is or is not the best thing for you and your family . it is a struggle for some and for others they just seem to fall on their feet and therefore will think life here in oz is truly wonderful until they come across the problem of being unemployed, missing friends and family to the point they want to go back. at least you came out and gave it a go and you will never have the why did we never go and find out what oz had to offer us voices haunting you forever more, as for the cars usually they make migrants pay a good deposit as so many do go back and leave cars at airports unpaid for this way they are covered and can resell without a loss

all the best for whatever you decide

lesley x

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Good luck with whatever you decide Celtic. Sometimes there is just no accounting for the fact that you find yourself in a place where you dont "belong". My only advice to you would be to make active decisions about where you want to be and when. If you drift then you find yourself beyond the point of no return and stuck where you dont want to be. It is easier to live in a place if you know that you have a definite time scale and that you have a plan rather than facing the "this is it forever" feeling which can be crippling. OTOH if you do go back, treat it as a new start and not one which tries to get you back exactly where you were, that often doesnt work as people find that those around them have moved on and the gap that you left in their lives has been healed over.

 

I truly envy you the west country - would swap what I have here in an instant for a country life down in Devon or Cornwall (or Dorset or Somerset .....)

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Guest Celtic.H.

Cheers Everyone for your replies it has really helped.

 

I think at the moment it is affecting me more and I'm the bloke, I should be tough. Although my wife thinks about it she has just started a new well paid job and that is concentrating her mind. I have decided to do a couple of courses in the evening, one in autocad and another in tax file preparation, at least it will give me some thing to concentrate on. Yes if I could wave a wand I would be back in a shot, but I try to think why we came. I think what spurned us was having our daughter 2 years ago, I guess I looked at the social decline of the UK, but to be honest that is everywhere and it certainly is just the same here, house prices were a big factor, jobs. My wife has a good job and I do a great job of looking after my daughter, the trouble is there is still some little niggle in the back of my mind that says I must be the bread winner and my OH should have the joy of the child. But this isn't 30 years ago. Are there many stay at home dads out there, you feel a right pratt sometimes going to groups etc when you feel like the spare cock at the party.

 

We are going to give it another 6 months, I need some careers advice to look at what I have done and where I go. If we are still not sure then we will stay and give it bit longer, we have decided if we are ambivolant about it then it is better to stay rather than go back and regret it.

 

Either way I need to retrain, I have 25 years left to work and I don't want to spend it wondering what to do. Better to take even 4-5 years out to retrain and I will still have 20 years left to work. Uni courses are really bloody expensive here and that puts me off, Uk uni is far cheaper in comparison.

 

My little daughter has also just been asked to join a modelling agency so who knows maybe I could be her manager.

 

You are all very kind, I am in the Kardinya/Bull Creek region SOR.

 

Anyone a careers advisor?

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Guest Guruju

Hi Celtic

 

As a child I had some time where my Dad looked after us and Mum worked. As an adult I realised how lucky I had been to have had that time with him (he died when I was 19). He taught me so much about how to enjoy life and I have great memories of that time that will always be with me. If it's possible for you not to work but have that time with your daughter, maybe that's the opportunity you should take?

 

My husband stays at home and looks after me, the house and our 4 dogs (one is a rescued foster dog) and helps me with my self employment work. He makes my life so much easier that we have more balance and get to do more things together rather than being in the typical rat race with both working (which we have also done then realised that we were seeing each other too often).

 

My hubby is an Australian (I am originally from Birmingham) and is a well built bloke from off a northern territory cattle station. He has no issues with his self esteem or identity, even though, at business functions usually, the eyebrows get raised by some people for whom a stay at home man seems to confuse them.

 

Secretly I think most men would envy you for being at home and spending quality time with your child - if you can do it, it may just be the tonic you need and there are certainly quite a few stay at home days in my friends circle. I'll check out if they have a social group of some kind and get back to you.

 

If you and the family ever come down to Rockingham for a day trip let me know and Karl and I will meet you all for a coffee down the seafront.

 

Cheers

 

Julia

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Guest fruitcakechic

Hi been reading post about folk going back, I've only been here a few months and would go back tomorrow, the quality of life I had back in the UK was far superior to the one I have here. They are so backward here it scares me, I really dont wnat my son finishing his education here it's scary. As I said before the only thing oz has got going for it is the sunshine, even then it's always bloody raining!

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Guest kimbo67

Have u set a date to go back? Been here 6 months and already know it's not the

place for me. Want to go back as soon as possible. No house to go back to and have land to sell here, but fingers crossed it will happen soon.

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Guest kimbo67

Thank god, someone that agrees with me! Apart from missing everyone and every thing back at home, the kids education has to be a priority, and here they are soooooooo far behind. My kids are definitely not spending another year in this god forsaken country!

I know the sun shines every day, almost, but i'm over it!!

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Guest earlswood
Hi been reading post about folk going back, I've only been here a few months and would go back tomorrow, the quality of life I had back in the UK was far superior to the one I have here. They are so backward here it scares me, I really dont wnat my son finishing his education here it's scary. As I said before the only thing oz has got going for it is the sunshine, even then it's always bloody raining!

See, its not just me who goes on about the rain in Oz....:biglaugh:

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Guest fruitcakechic

Hi not set a date yet, have no house back home, will need to get a job etc, but who cares, I will put this down to experience, the only thing is my son quite likes it, he's 13, however don't think it would bother him too much, so far he's not done anything he couldn't do back home, since we have been here we have not seen one kid out and about, think they must all be at home with their playstations. Good luck with selling the land. Myra

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Guest kevin747
Thank god, someone that agrees with me! Apart from missing everyone and every thing back at home, the kids education has to be a priority, and here they are soooooooo far behind. My kids are definitely not spending another year in this god forsaken country!

I know the sun shines every day, almost, but i'm over it!!

 

You are spot on. At first I thought I was beieg stuck up. The education system is shocking.I know some teachers socially and in truth in the UK they would not be allowed to teach with their quals.

These kids will be the engine of Australia in 20 years.It's scary given the problems which will face the country.

 

13 days to go .

 

Good luck

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Guest kimbo67

13 days to go, what before you leave for the uk? you lucky thing. I can't convince my hubby to go back so looks like i'm taking the kids back on my own. R u shipping everything back? I want to take my car back, as I think it will be more cost effective, any ideas?

Good luck with your move.

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