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Would You Move To Oz For 2 Yrs Knowing That Your Spouce Wont Make It A Perm Move?


emmaj

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Its very early days for us, we have only been here three weeks of our three month reccie trip but Hubs and I have already been talking about the possibility of making the move a little more perm. His employer also wants to talk to him in the next couple of weeks re the possibility of migrating so you would think that we would be really pleased.

 

However whilst we were chating about this possibility, Hubs told me that he would consider moving for a max of two years but that he would never see Australia as home and would want to return to the UK.

 

So now im in two minds, do we make the move and just enjoy the two years here, hope that we both fall in love with the place and that we both end up wanting to stay. Or do we put a stop to things now and return to the UK and consider other options i.e. maybe moving somewhere different within the UK as we have already desided that we do want a change.

 

I think the big stumbling block for my husband is that he is very close to his parents but they would NEVER fly to Oz to see us. I know some of you may say that they would once we are out here but this is a def no - they wont fly. Obviously i would miss them too, they are like parents to me but i also want to make the most of my life and trying this different way of life / experience i think would be a great thing.

 

What would you do?

 

Emma

x

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Guest brooksey

I think you should do it. We came over and so as not to put ourselves under pressure told ourselves its a six month working hol. If we enjoy it stay for a year, then two and before you know it youve emigrated. Our parents wont fly either so i guess we"ll have to visit them.

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That's a tough one Emma,

 

Personally, I would want to move to Oz even if I know it's just for a couple of years. If you decide to stay in the UK, you may end up wishing you had given it a go after all.

 

You never know what's round the corner and you should enjoy life as much as you can. You never know, OH may decide Oz is for him after a couple of years of getting used to the place.

 

My Step-Dad said he wouldn't fly for more than 4 hours once. Now he knows we're serious about going, he's already started saving for his Australia flights fund. But I appreciate every family is different.

 

Try not to think about it too much at the moment and enjoy your 3 months out there, then talk about it with OH later.

 

I take it you're having a good time out there then!!!????

 

I'm sooooooo jealous!

 

Tracey :yesxmas:

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Thanks both.

 

I am having a good time but to be honest Im alittle p*ssed off today as I cant find anywhere to move to and i really want to move out of centeral perth for the last six weeks of our stay. I had my hopes pinned on a hillarys apartment but that has just fallen through. Right now, I want to go home as all i do every day is surf the net looking for somewhere to move too!

 

Emma

x

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Guest prettyinpink

Hi Emma, my parents won't fly out either. They are too old and with respect, set in their ways. Is your hubby enjoying his job? Can he get job satisfaction back in the UK? Do you know what hubby is looking for, in order for him to call somewhere home?

 

I suspect that you haven't been here long enough to decide whether you can call Oz home. Well, in saying that you actually sound quite taken with the place, but perhaps hubby just isn't quite there yet.

 

I would advise not to decide anything just yet. Emigrating to a certain extent will leave you feeling in limbo, til you get that 'this is home' feeling. Give your hubby time to adjust, he may just need a little longer than you. Put down your roots as if you are intending to stay but keep an open mind about hubby's concerns. He may well just need a little extra time.

 

I hope everything goes well for you an hubby x

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Hi Emma,

 

A toughie.

We have been here for 5 months, when I left home I could never actually say to any of my close family that we were moving forever. I also made it clear to my OH that while it possibly is forever, he shouldn't actually be upset when I tell poeple 'we're going over to live but for how long?...who knows!'.

 

My point is that where possible, don't commit to time frames. In your case it sounds like you have both given yourself 3 options.. 2 years, Forever or even never!!!! What about all of those areas in between??

And of course the what if's. I have read on here a couple of cases of couples going their seperate ways when 1 is desperate to go home and the other wants to stay. From what you said you would stay in the UK if your fella didn't fancy staying in Oz without question. So if you move to Oz and that time comes that he might want to go home, then you can go back to the UK knowing you didn't let the chance to try it out slip by!

 

Hope this helps.

 

Em x

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Thanks both.

 

I am having a good time but to be honest Im alittle p*ssed off today as I cant find anywhere to move to and i really want to move out of centeral perth for the last six weeks of our stay. I had my hopes pinned on a hillarys apartment but that has just fallen through. Right now, I want to go home as all i do every day is surf the net looking for somewhere to move too!

 

Emma

x

 

 

This happened to me too, and trying to fit in going to open homes drove me mad. I never thought I was going to relax. But now we are in our house and have furniture and am now bored!!!:biglaugh:Sods law!

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emma

 

if you are anything like me and you didn't give it a try you would always be saying 'what if'.....

 

give it a go.... i have lived in several countries each for about 2 yrs at a time and i am so glad i had that chance...

 

as for parents coming to visit... my parents 92 and 88yrs old respectively are both coming for a holiday next year... never thought they would..but the tickets are booked... never say never!!

 

min x:wubclub:

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Guest spadgersdad

We said the exact same things emma, will do two years get the citizenship then see how we feel. Been here nearly three years and no plans to go back so my advice would be to give it go, at least you can look back and say"we tried it!"

sending you some karma take care and good luck

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Guest The Pom Queen

Hi Emma

I remember another one of your posts where you didn't think OH would stay long, so he must be enjoying life here if he has said he would come out for max 2 years. My personal views are go for it, if I remember rightly you have no children so your young and free. Go for it, if it doesn't work out and you do go home after the 2 years then you have had the experience and you will never be wondering What if?

After the 2 years if you do go home, you can then maybe consider moving to a different area.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Kate

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i know why you are worried tho, what if you love it and he comes home and you have to split up. dont over think it. give it a go and if you love it and he doesnt then decide that then. you never knwo you may want to go home and he will want to stay and all his worry will have been over nothing.

hope it works out for you

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Thanks both.

 

I am having a good time but to be honest Im alittle p*ssed off today as I cant find anywhere to move to and i really want to move out of centeral perth for the last six weeks of our stay. I had my hopes pinned on a hillarys apartment but that has just fallen through. Right now, I want to go home as all i do every day is surf the net looking for somewhere to move too!

 

Emma

x

 

We had similar problems when we decided to extend our stay, spent almost 2 whole days sat in an internet cafe whilst the kids were getting bored!!

 

I've clicked ya chick to cheer you up! Something will turn up I'm sure!

 

Trace

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Look on it as a bit of an adventure - but at least you know where he stands, he is telling you he wont want to be here permanently (and I can sympathise with that!) and whilst he may change his mind, the chances are that he wont and he will be intent on going home when his time is up. I guess you have to put your point of view across too - and then you have to work out the compromise position. If you are still young, footloose and fancy free then you have nothing to lose by another 2 year adventure I reckon. At the end of that time then you make the decision about where to go next.

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Guest prettyinpink
Thanks everyone, i think im just over analysing things. I just need to go with the flow a little and see what happens.

 

Im off to view another (yet another) apartment now - fingers crossed!

 

Emma

x

 

 

 

Good luck Emma

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Well we managed to find two apartments that were both lovely and available for the period we needed. The one we have gone for has views of the River (East Perth) and has a roof top pool!!!

 

So at last i can start to enjoy myself and not sit for hours on the internet looking for somewhere to move to.

 

Happy Days!

 

Emma

x

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That's great, from experience that is just what you need to finally start enjoying your experience here.

Good luck, let us know if you decide to stay for longer.

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Well we managed to find two apartments that were both lovely and available for the period we needed. The one we have gone for has views of the River (East Perth) and has a roof top pool!!!

 

So at last i can start to enjoy myself and not sit for hours on the internet looking for somewhere to move to.

 

Happy Days!

 

Emma

x

 

Sounds like you've picked a good un! Enjoy it!

 

Trace

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  • 7 years later...

We were of that impression that is if we didn't take the opportunity we would regret it, so worst case scenario was it was a working holiday. The idea was to get our residency and review but with my recent redundancy and employer now won't sponsor for PR from 457 we are making preparations to move back. Would I do it again in hindsight - probably not. My 16 yr old son is devastated at moving back after 4 years here and this will probably split the family further in years to come, personally I have mixed feelings. I have always enjoyed the UK and have hated living in rental accommodation in Australia, I have spent 4 years in the worst job I've ever had but it has paid off financially. We have made some really good friends (and some right prats). If you do come you do need to be proactive in getting out & meeting others but I can guarantee it will be a roller coaster for your feelings and emotions. I have travelled all my life & although we have had some good experiences we've suffered some bad times. Good luck.

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We were of that impression that is if we didn't take the opportunity we would regret it, so worst case scenario was it was a working holiday. The idea was to get our residency and review but with my recent redundancy and employer now won't sponsor for PR from 457 we are making preparations to move back. Would I do it again in hindsight - probably not. My 16 yr old son is devastated at moving back after 4 years here and this will probably split the family further in years to come, personally I have mixed feelings. I have always enjoyed the UK and have hated living in rental accommodation in Australia, I have spent 4 years in the worst job I've ever had but it has paid off financially. We have made some really good friends (and some right prats). If you do come you do need to be proactive in getting out & meeting others but I can guarantee it will be a roller coaster for your feelings and emotions. I have travelled all my life & although we have had some good experiences we've suffered some bad times. Good luck.

@STEVEPEACOCK This discussion is from 2008! Reading the OPs signature, looks like they made it past the two year mark...

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