l1sa Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Hi After the euphoria of OH passing his practical last week and getting that step closer, my mind has flicked onto the Visa and even though we've not even lodged yet, I've started thinking about that day when we have to say goodbye. How on earth do you say goodbye to those you love without breaking your and their heart in 2? I know I'm being a bit premature here, but up until now I've just pushed those thoughts and feelings to the back of my mind and tried not to think about it while I concentrate on the Visa, but all of a sudden those thoughts keep cropping back up, and I find myself crying thinking about it. Now, people I've spoken to who don't understand the whole Visa process, just simply say, "well no-ones forcing you to go!" and I know all that and I know I could just stop the whole process now, but thats not likely to happen. I look into my parents eyes when they're thinking about it, and encouraging me and giving me insightful pieces of wisdom and I know that its breaking their heart. I suppose to go and not even consider the people you're leaving behind would make you inhuman, but talk about the toughest thing you'll ever do!! More insightful wisdom needed please:unsure: Thank you people Distraught and questioning myself!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mummy3 Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Just think about why you're doing this. I'm sure it's for all the reasons we all do it, a better lifestyle, more time outdoors, sunshine, beaches etc. etc. I've left my family once before. And yes, I missed them and my country (a little bit), but you just have to accept the path you're chosen and move on. Hope it makes sense. Leaving your family doesn't mean that you love them less than you do now. And I'm sure that they'll know that. You're moving to another country, not another planet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuju Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Please dont take this as offensive but ask us again in a few months or when you are nearer the time to leave, as its not an easy thing to do saying goodbye. Its going to be stressful enough time for you in the next few months applying for your visa without worrying about the sadness of goodbyes going through your mind stuju :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dan&nikki Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 at the end of the day its not forever, they could visit you and vice versa, you will be intouch by phone or email, or webcam, so you are not going to outer space with no contact. it is along way, but then if you moved to the other end of this country it would be away from them. Like others have said, dont sweat too much over it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest spottymercedes Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Hi After the euphoria of OH passing his practical last week and getting that step closer, my mind has flicked onto the Visa and even though we've not even lodged yet, I've started thinking about that day when we have to say goodbye. How on earth do you say goodbye to those you love without breaking your and their heart in 2? I know I'm being a bit premature here, but up until now I've just pushed those thoughts and feelings to the back of my mind and tried not to think about it while I concentrate on the Visa, but all of a sudden those thoughts keep cropping back up, and I find myself crying thinking about it. Now, people I've spoken to who don't understand the whole Visa process, just simply say, "well no-ones forcing you to go!" and I know all that and I know I could just stop the whole process now, but thats not likely to happen. I look into my parents eyes when they're thinking about it, and encouraging me and giving me insightful pieces of wisdom and I know that its breaking their heart. I suppose to go and not even consider the people you're leaving behind would make you inhuman, but talk about the toughest thing you'll ever do!! More insightful wisdom needed please:unsure: Thank you people Distraught and questioning myself!! I was a bit like you. I used to think about the goodbyes and have tears in my eyes, but the best thing you can do is try to push it out of your mind for the time being. As someone else said, you will be so busy getting everything organised you will need to focus on that. I pushed the goodbyes to the back of my mind as I didn't know what else to do. The day we left was awful and all I wanted to do was get on the plane and go, I wanted the goodbyes to be over. It will be tough and emotional, but you'll get through it and hopefully friends and family will visit and you can maybe visit them too. It will be ok. Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xTINKSx Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 The idea of saying good bye to my Mum, Dad and brother totally freaks me out, even though they are 100% behind us, want the best for my kids and the fact that I know I will be breaking their hearts. We hope to be in Oz in February. My brother has already booked time off work to come out in April and my parents already have their "Ozzie Flight Fund" for visits. I know I will see them again but the thought of saying goodbye makes me want to cry. Not for me, but for them. To some extent its OK for us, we are excited about starting our new life, but its heart wrenching for those we leave behind. I dont no whether to not let them see us off at the airport but I really do think they will want to be there - to me its mental torture. My kids are my parents lives and they have even talked about following us out there when we get PR. I guess theres no easy way to do it - I know we are going for the right reasons, I will miss my family desperately but as I've got older I understand that personally Australia offers a better life for my OH, myself and my kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest earlswood Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Goodbye Bye-bye Bye Godspeed Buhbyes Talk to you later Ta ta for now Ciao Sayanora Kamsahamnidah Bon Voyage See ya McGoodbye May the forces of evil get lost on the way to you front doorstep Live long and prosper Cheerio! Out Y'all come back now May your teeth never be replaced by freshly ironed wool socks. So long Farewell Bon voyage May you never awaken one morning and find yourself with Iranian death camps for hands and Gorbachev's eyelids attached to your feet. Aloha L'hitraot Kol Tuv Shalom Peace out May your spleen never transform into a solution to the European Union's impending energy crisis and become a battlefield for an upcoming war to end all wars. Be well, fellow citizen I must take leave of you now Adios Arrivaderci Do svidanja Au revoir Hasta la vista Fare thee well May your mouth never be conquered by a band of marauding Vikings. Auf Wiederhören Auf Wiedersehen Servus Tschüss Tschüs Tschö Tschau Bis dann Bis bald Bis später May you never have your soul absorbed into the Netherworld by a power-hungry televangelist. adeus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dugong Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Hi, We leave in approx. 2 weeks time and I am now starting to allow myself to think about the goodbyes. I'm a teacher and started panicking in the summer hols about all sorts of things to do with our migration, jobs, goodbyes etc and I really had to snap out of it and say to myself 'enjoy the time you have left in the UK with your friends and family'. We have decided to say goodbye the day before we fly and we have booked into the Manchester Airport Travellodge the night before we fly! Knowing my dad though he'll be up on the roof with his flask of coffee, wearing his anorak(!) waving at us as we fly off. Good luck with everything Dugong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NTH SHARMAN Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 It's never going to be easy and it can be unpredictable. By that, I mean the people you think are going to be jibbering wrecks surprise you by staying calm and the ice maidens completely go to pieces. This could be the wrong way, but I dealt with it by thinking in terms of it not being forever. When I said my goodbyes, they were Au Revoirs. We also spent the night before the flight at a Manchester Airport hotel so we could have a bit of breathing space before we started our new lives. We've been here since June and the only people I am really missing are my mum and dad. I speak to them every week and it helps, but it can be hard at times. You hear a song on the radio and it triggers memories. Your child does something that makes you proud and you want to share it that very minute. I haven't been reduced to tears yet though and I'm confident that I can handle it. I know I'll be seeing them again sometime, maybe next year. Don't try to engineer the goodbyes, just let them happen naturally. I also found it easier to say "see you later" rather than "goodbye". Saying goodbye sounds way too final for my liking. Good luck with it all. T xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Hi there, I really feel for you, hope it will all be okay. My mum and dad left the UK, as many did back in the post war years, to start a new life here. They came to a place which was even vastly different to what Australia is now. My mum was brokenhearted for a long time, it took a long time before she became used to being away from her family, although dad was more willing to try to adventure. He promised her that if it really didn't work out, they would go home. Mum felt that, with this promise, she would try and settle down. She missed so many things, and some of the hot summers nearly killed her she said. But she always remembered that Dad had said "nothing is set in concrete" - we are free to go home if we want to. Eventually they found a home, and made it theirs. They even ran into other British immigrans, who were going through exactly the same thing. Some of these people became friends for life, so then those familiar British accents made life a little easier. A few relatives and friends followed, or at least came for holidays, and we had some pretty good parties at our house over the years because of this. When my mum and dad died only a few years ago, we spoke at the funeral about all the many British/European people who came to Australia after the war to not only start a new life, but also to help build a country (we only had 5 million people then). These days, many British people come and go from these shores, some of them have been back and forth over the last 30 years still unable to make up their minds, becoming torn between the two places. I guess I would say to you, yes you are going to feel anxious and sad, but give it a real go and see how it turns out. If you really can't settle, think of it as an extended holiday, try and stay at least 2 years if you can, then if it doesn't feel right, go home to your friends, family and familiar things. Even if that is what you decide in the end, you will have had a great working holiday experience. My English friends who live here say they have never had so many visitors in their life! I hope wherever you settle, you will find it a great experience. You are welcome, good luck with it all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 I spent the last 2 weeks in the UK in tears, ironically, although upset at leaving family - we somehow knew that at some point we'd be seeing them again, so it didn't feel like forever. What really floored me was saying goodbye to work colleagues, it suddenly hit me that I'd never see them again, I'd spent so many years with them ... I couldn't read my leaving card for 3 days! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackboots Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 im questioning our decission every day since we got our visa , like my oh said if we don't we will allways wonder what if, like the other poster said goodbye is forever , see you later is far better so good luck , hope you get through it all ok! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted November 9, 2008 Share Posted November 9, 2008 As I have already mentioned before, when you make a momentous decision to come across the other side of the world, a very brave decision actually, it might be better to view it as an adventure, something that you want to do in your lifetime. I packed up when I was twenty and went to live in the UK for a few years, then came back to Australia. I had a ball, never regretted one minute of it, and I was living in a dingy flat in Earls Court, but I made friends and had many laughs. I had a good job, and loved every minute of it. I look back at those days now and say "how did I survive the London rents and the weather" but at the time I loved every minute of it. I made the most of it, and when I got homesick for the heat, and yes the spiders as well, I came home. It felt right at the time, and I don't regret any of it. It was an adventure that I had. One thing I would suggest is that if you absolutely don't have to sell your house in the UK straight away, then maybe think about coming out and renting for a while. If you don't get a feel for one residential area, then you can try somewhere else until it feels right. Each Australian city has a different 'flavour', same as UK cities, so it might be a while before you feel settled somewhere. If you don't feel settled, then move on somewhere else. I know it is hard to move with kids, especially when they are settled in schools, but it can be done. As I said, treat it as a once in a lifetime extended holiday, and say to yourself that 'yes, we can go home if we really want to'. Just be open to it maybe. Regards once again, Olly Melbourne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 No problem Dugong. Glad my post might have been helpful. My sister in law's family have been back and forth about 4 times, they're going for some sort of record, but I have heard of some Brits breaking that record even. One couple came out here a few years ago, stayed for the weekend, then went home the next week. Have never heard of anyone that bad recently. Wouldn't have time to check out all the different beers and wines in a weekend!!!:cry: regards Olly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 I spent the last 2 weeks in the UK in tears, ironically, although upset at leaving family - we somehow knew that at some point we'd be seeing them again, so it didn't feel like forever. What really floored me was saying goodbye to work colleagues, it suddenly hit me that I'd never see them again, I'd spent so many years with them ... I couldn't read my leaving card for 3 days! when we left my aunt, uncle and cousins made us the GOODBYE cds volumes 1 &2. Every song was about leaving! STILL cant listen to them and that is almost 4 years later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mummy3 Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 when we left my aunt, uncle and cousins made us the GOODBYE cds volumes 1 &2. Every song was about leaving! STILL cant listen to them and that is almost 4 years later! Sounds like a massive guilt trip! :no: Not fair on you :frown: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Thomsons Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I spent the last 2 weeks in the UK in tears, ironically, although upset at leaving family - we somehow knew that at some point we'd be seeing them again, so it didn't feel like forever. What really floored me was saying goodbye to work colleagues, it suddenly hit me that I'd never see them again, I'd spent so many years with them ... I couldn't read my leaving card for 3 days! I agree with Ali- close friends and family you know you will always stay in contact with, it's all the peripheral people who you know you won't see again that get to you. On saying that I did go through a terrible guilt trip about leaving the family, but I don't have any regrets. We have only been here a week and my kids are already saying they never want to go back to the UK- might just be 'cos they're not at school yet though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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