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2tigers

Children - what happens if you/your partner decide to go home.....

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Guest guest22466

Yes this should be a sticky . yes it would be a great idea to have this information put on the migration forms that everyone fills in when they want to migrate, cant see what harm it would do really?? Just good if any.

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Bumpity bump


"If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine"

 

 

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thankyou for this thread as ive only just noticed it! i was not aware of this , i thought it was just childeren that were born there, how wrong you can be , for some of us certain thing's do not occur to be researched ie your so busy doing the obvious! one of my obvious ones is we are going to see a solicitor in uk before we go , as i am SCARED re anything happening to us and where would our daughter go, im not morbid BUT if we say died an untimley death , who would our baby go to, and at what age if this were to happen should we send her back to uk to oh's sister who would be her gaurdian here, or if it happened in say 10 years time , can we uproot her to a new country , yes she was born to the uk , but oz would be her home and life .....and let her live with my cousin and her family where i know they have accepted this as they call it an honour to be her legal gaurdian, sorry to ramble , but its something that im so aware we have to sort out on paper berfore we go , i do not want family's fighting over the distance and herever to be sent into australian foster care.never say never...thanks for listening.


to much partying to much booze gives you spots and makes you snooze!

sharon.

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bumpity bump


to much partying to much booze gives you spots and makes you snooze!

sharon.

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Guest sweety

This is a real eye opener!!... Is it a sticky yet??

 

Saffy

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I think its time for a 'Bumpity Bump'!


"If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine"

 

 

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Tim what about this as a sticky its well founded and useful advice


Lyn (50) Barry (39) Ross (9) IT WAG !!!

OFFERED 457 ON 18/02/2010 started 457 1/3/2010, CO ON 04/03/10, 457 awarded 16/3/10,arrived 23/4/10

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Guest sazzle76

I am soooo glad I came across this thread.

Big discussion tonight I thinks...

We are desperate to get to Aus to start a new life. We have recently had a very big upheaval in our 15 year relationship and just assume a new life, new country and new friends/work ppl will make things work out. There is always a "what if" in a relationship where ever you live and the thought of no family in Aus for support if a relationship breaks down is scary, its hard enough in the UK when you have kids without 2 countries the opposite sides of the earth being involved too!

This thread has really hit a nerve and Im sure Im not the only one.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

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Guest guest22466

sticky sticky

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I will pop on every now and again to bump this thread, hoping that it will help people sit down and discuss their children's future - if one of you decide to go home.

Edited by 2tigers

"If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine"

 

 

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Guest guest22466

Tigers2 Well done you are very lucky to be able to go home as I am one of the unlucky ones please share your advice if you can via private message.Take Care and enjoy the rest of your lives with loving family and friends back home. It all depends on the judge on the day dont you think????

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Guest funkymonkey

Just wanted to say this is a great bit of information and something EVERYONE either with children or perhaps planning children shoud think about.

To be stuck here knowing that the only way to leave is without your children i can only imagine to be an endless torture no parent should endure.

The lure of the perfect life can and does go terribly wrong and sometimes IMO you might be better to stay put where your life is ok and not chase these fantasies that can lead to so much distress.

I can see this situation happening to me but my husband has finally agreed to move back to the UK as he too has realised that our marriage will not survive here and that for our childrens sake we can hopefully be happy again in the UK (as we were before).

 

I simply can't wait to return to the UK, my beautiful home with my beautiful family.

 

Once again a great thread, thanks.

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Guest guest22466

Please can this be made a sticky or is it too negative and real to life ??????

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Please can this be made a sticky or is it too negative and real to life ??????

 

Please moderators, this issue is one people need to be aware of, and in making this a sticky it may help someone.

 

In the meantime, please everyone.....

 

Bumpity bump this thread when you feel the need!


"If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine"

 

 

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Guest JoanneHattersley

It has been made sticky

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It has been made sticky

 

You just made me cry!

 

Ok, stop it, I'm going now!


"If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine"

 

 

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Guest guest22466

Johatts Thank you for making it a sticky you have no idea what this means to the parents that have or are going through it and to save any other parents going through it is only a good thing.......KNOWLEDGE IS POWER AND SO IS THIS STICKY......

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Guest welcometomyworld

You are all very brave ladies, and fair play to you, it has taken thousands of tears, emotions, and hard cash. I think the whole thread is extremely important and it would be one of my main concerns if I had children to consider taking them to "the promised land". The O/P's idea of out lining these issues in the immigration papers is VERY necessary. A happy marriage today can be a disasterous marriage tomorrow and to be confronted by a new country, no family support and different laws must be devastating. Although I am an ozzie, i doesnt stop my heart going out to you people. Maybe incorporating a recce in oz along with a visit to a family lawyer to discuss these eventualities should be on the cards for many immigrants. I hope you all find much deserved peace in your lives

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Guest guest22466

NO more crying 2tigers lol just tears of joy please . Well done and enjoy the rest of your lives xxx

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Guest JoanneHattersley

No worries guys!

 

I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. Know that PIO will support you as much as we can! Even if it just for a rant and rave! LOL!

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Guest jchrisj

Them that now me, no i dont take much serious

 

My life in a nutshell................

 

emigrated to oz in 1968 mum dad and me (aged 5). 10 bob sheme.

 

lasted 2 years, dad didnt like it, so came home on his own.

 

12 months later dad came back to oz and took me out of school, and onto a plane back to the uk. Mum thought i was just late home from school.

 

in uk dad went to court to get the right to keep me..............he got it.

 

mum came over to see me but dad wouldnt let me out of his sight.

 

this went on for a few years.

 

aprox 1980 last time i heard from mum.

 

in 1996 got a phone call from a brother i didnt know i had, to say mum lived in chester and died that day.

turns out i have 2 stepbrothers and a whole family i didnt know about, i dont want to see them or have anything to do with them.

aparantley she came back to the uk about 1993, bought a pub in chester and did very well for herself.

 

Now........................mum dead, dad and i dont comunicate and dont like each other.

 

I find it dificult to relate to any family members. even sometimes my own kids.

 

Luckily i have an understanding wife.

 

 

 

Parents....................think through any decision about your kids.

 

my parents screwed me up big time, and at 45 years old, it still afects me.

 

 

 

Hugs to all

 

 

Chris................................who hid me stella

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Guest guest22466

Thank you jcchrisj for posting and letting everyone see it from the childs point of view its sad but it happens more than people think. Please check out the Hague Convention Laws before migrating with children it will prepare you just in case things dont go as planned here in Australia. No one wants to put their children through this but it happens.

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Guest littlesarah

The problem is that it is very difficult to plan for this type of eventuality. We don't have children, and if we do it will be in Australia. If we do have a family, I know that I would have to stay in Australia if we split up. But what can I do? I hope that it is never an issue, but the only way I could avoid being in that situation is to make the decision not to have children.

 

Life is inherently risky, and all any of us can do is weigh up the risks and make a choice based on the information that we have to hand.

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Guest guest22466

Yes I agree littlesarah and I have stayed with my child as hard as it can be and so have many other parents have too and parents with visa's that do not allow them to work here as they have came on the now ex spouses visa , so no financial help from anywhere , no family and friends to help support and in some cases no home to live in. You also can not rely on the ex to support your child while in another country either so yes its huge really. At least you would be aware of your situation and know that your children will remain in Australia and that you can accept and prepare for that.

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Guest littlesarah

Pommyoz

 

I hope that I did not come across as unsympathetic or unfeeling - that was certainly not my intention.

 

The plight of you and others is truly heartbreaking, as if having to deal with the break-up of a relationship and the impact of that on your young ones wasn't enough, to then be unable to work to support yourself must have been devastating. It sounds as if the conditions attached to that type of visa were ridiculous, and made assumptions about people that we know aren't true (sometimes people change, and not for the better).

 

I admire you for your efforts to inform others, and to ensure that people are fully aware of the possible outcomes if plans should go awry. It underlines the need to think very carefully about why and how one is migrating to Aus.

 

It sounds to me that you have shown your own child an example of courage and tenacity in the face of severe adversity, & I'm sure they will learn from what you went through.

 

I hope it all works out well for you, and that you are able to rebuild your life and be happy.

 

Best wishes

 

Sarah

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