Shazzi Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 So we've arrived, been in Brisbane for about a month and already I'm not sure if I have made the right move. After all the many months of planning and set backs and tearful goodbyes to friends and family I thought I would feel a sense of relief/excitement/happiness to be finally here, instead I feel...numb, an anti-climax almost and now I am worrying and questioning why I feel like this. When I have read other people's posts on here once they have arrived, they seem to be totally happy so why aren't I? I'm not normally a moaner or a misery guts but I am struggling to feel happy about what we have done just now. Has anyone else felt like this when they initially arrived...does it get better? I know we are still in the settling in process...I haven't started work yet - I start in 3 weeks, we move to a nice house in the Ferny Grove side of the city in 2 weeks time and I still need to find childcare for our son. Currently I can only get 2 days PW and I need 4, but it is so difficult to find any availability and until I can get him in 4 days PW, my OH cannot look for work, as we don't have any family or friends over here to help out. At the moment I feel lonely, it is just the 3 of us every day - I miss the routine of my old life, my job, my family and friends that I could see or talk to regularly...we have Skype and that helps, but its not like I can pop over to my mums at the w/end or meet a pal for a coffee. The other thing that I am finding difficult is the cost of living over here - we haven't brought huge amounts of money with us, certainly not enough for a deposit on a house (I've been told you need at least 20% of the asking price!). When we came over in November for a month it did not seem as expensive as it is now. Food shopping is definitely dearer here than back in the UK, mainly I think because over there you have Tesco/Asda/Sainsbury/Morrisons etc etc all competing for your custom so they constantly have a multitude of offers on and also they sell cheap, relatively good clothes ...before I left I bought whole outfits for my son in the Tesco sale, all for under £5/6 each. Here the main ones are just Coles and Woolworths who seem to monopolise it all. Its not just the food shopping - I stupidly left all my garden furniture and BBQ at home as I thought it wouldn't get through customs. I assumed in the land of outdoor living that I could pick things up cheap enough out here and there would be an equivalent B & Q or Homebase, but that's not the case, as this sort of stuff is also more expensive, which I just can't believe. Banking is a rip off, everywhere charges for an account and if you use an ATM that is not their's then you get charged extra, at least in the UK if you opt to pay for an acct you get loads of freebies like free yearly travel insurance, bank and credit card protection and mobile phone insurance and obviously you can use any ATM via the "link" system for free. Talking of mobile phones the tarriffs are roughly the same but what with the connection fee for each call, on top of the call rate, they are not as good value by a long way... I know I shouldn't keep comparing things to the UK if I want this to work but it's hard as that is all I have known. The main reason for moving here was so that we could have a better quality of life than in the UK, but with the prices the way they are over here, I think financially, I may in fact be worse off. Sure the people are friendly and the weather and scenery is great and there are loads of great parks for my son to enjoy and plenty of open spaces for kids to run wild but I'm not going to enjoy them if I am constantly watching the pennies and rising bills. I know things are currently getting more expensive in the UK but I was never in a situation where by I worried about going out to buy some clothes or do my monthly massive food shop and I'll be earning roughly the same sort of salary here as I was there. Ahhhhhh! I feel like a whinging pom already and I know I am being probably a bit over panicky but can someone please tell me that things do get better. Am I shopping in the wrong shops??? I need to buy a whole kitchen's worth of white goods at the end of this month and I am dreading the cost of all that as I need everything from a kettle/toaster to microwave and washer & dryer etc. Any advice on where to get these at a reasonable price?? If only there was an Argos over here! Maybe some of you will tell me that the high cost of living here is a fact, and then I will need to re-evaulate whether long term this is for us, as at the moment, overall the UK is definitely a cheaper place to live. My OH is so positive and although I really want to be, I can't see the point of lying to myself either, almost like I am glossing things over for effect. I knew the move would be hard and it would take time to adjust and I don't think I over glamerised living here in my head, but its just not what I expected and I disappointly don't feel as I expected too...I just feel sort of lost. Sorry for the length of this post but I just need to "talk" to someone as I don't want to tell people at home that I already have doubts when I was so loooking forward to moving out here for the last year and over here, besides the OH, I don't know anyone else! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliott-Family Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Hi cant really help as we are in the uk and just starting our visa process but just wanted to send you a massive big hug, we can only imagine what your going through. Claire xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rickard Family Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 I have been asking the same questions of which i have had not many replies. Due to the loss of equity in our house price we will be selling with nothing to come over with as back up. I was hoping to come over to the Gold Coast next year and take the gamble, if i had a job lined up could i support our family (4 kids). If the wages are less and the living is cost are expensive how is it possible. We struggle in England and i work hard here. We was moving to Oz for a life style change and relaxed atmosphere, does it not exist. I am in the process of selling our lovely home for the same price we paid 3 years ago, is it all worth it. We have never been to Oz and rely on other peoples experiances, good and bad, just the truth. Clinton:sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest traybears Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 hi,im sure things will improve for you.give it time.try to meet new people.talk to people in the parks and stuff.im not there yet but i know it'll be hard starting again.maybe check if there's a meet up on here or arrange one.its such a big step.it seems some people love it straight away others take time to build up their life again.at least your o/h is supportive.stick with it.probably feel better when you start work too,make you feel more settled.good luck hun.tracy.xx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gary12 Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Shazzi I'd say what you are feeling right now is pretty normal, trust me there are many people who are in exactly the same position as you. There are loads of PIO's people in Brisbane and I am sure they would be more than happy for a meet if, if nothing else but to have a 'moan' together! As for buying things, in the short term why not try something like Freecycle: Groups Around the Globe It is a fantastic site that I use all the time in the UK, It might mean you have a little bit of a drive to collect things but people offer everything from used plant pots to fridge freezer/washing machines even a caravan have been adverstised on my local site. You can just post a 'wanted' and I'm sure you will get a response. Even if things only last until you get on your feet it's better than nothing. In the mean time, don't be too hard on yourself, good lord you have just done one of the most stressful things ever and you already have a month under your belt so give yourself a bit pat on the back and maybe a glass of wine or two! best of luck Michelle x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andy Chapman Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Poor old Shazzy you must be going through hell at the moment. Yes you will find it tough but you must give it time maybe as long as a year just to get used to the place. Once your OH starts work and you start meeting new friends things will deffinately get better. I found it the same when i moved to Spain, it was so lonely and every English accent i heard i pounced on just to talk and hopefully meet new friends. For the majority of Brits it does get better, others will return after giving it a lengthy try but don't give up hope too soon. Stick with it, maybe some members from this Forum can help you out and make friends with you. Remember it is a better life your making for yourself and family. Hope things soon get better for you Shazzy Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cazbeckham Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Rickard Family We too have just sold our house for 2,500 less than what we paid for it 4.5 years ago and then on top of that you have to take off Solicitors Fees, Estate Agent Fees, Removal Fees, Cost of our visa (including agent and meds etc) - around £30,000. So feel for you with your house selling. Shazzi Please don't feel down. You really must give it at least a year as Andy says because you can't give it justice in one month. People are really friendly in Oz and you only have to ask. We have been twice on holiday and loved both times. Mind you we now have our Daughter and Son in Law living there (jo hatts on here) and I have cousins in Melbourne and Brisbane. Sad thing is I will be leaving my Son here in Uk but hopefully he will visit if only once......... Best wishes Caz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rickard Family Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 To make things worse last year we used the equity in our house to buy another house to rent out. How gutted do you think i feel now. Me:wacko: and my big ideas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ozboy Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 l think if you still feel the same way in 2 years then consider moving back to the UK, l read about lots of people who move back after only giving it 3, 6 or 9 months and seriously regret not giving it more time. you should try shopping around, second hand furniture shops, you should try what are called garage sales in OZ where on the weekends people sell their old household goods like furniture and BBQ's for almost nothing, often they are moving house and dresperate to get rid of their household goods, you find them advertised in the classifies of the newspapers. Clothes are alot cheaper at K-mark and target shops compared to main department stores. Do you work? that would solve two problems you would get more money and meet people and make new friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaniaColin Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Hi, hope things get better for you, i'm sure they will, i know it took my friend at least 6 months to get settled in, her hubby and children were fine, but she did take longer to adjust to the situation. Sending you hugs Good luck Tania X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest VFRHOCKS Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Cant help but wish you all the luck. I do hear you hve to give it a year or so. We hope to come over in March, we like many others have lots of worries and concerns but we will regret it if we dont try. Hope it all works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest missy44*123 Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 dont worry about anything it will all settle down once you start work. i know its easy for all us to say this but the longer your their the more you will feel at home xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bolton2Brisbane Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Hi, Give it longer, we arrived in Brisbane and only lasted 12 weeks!!, sold up and moved back to the UK and now moving back in March, albiet not to Brisbane. It's only natural to have those feelings, i was crying daily etc wont bore you with the details. Try not to think about the things you left behind more what you can acheive whilst out in OZ. It's not a "one size fits all" we are all different, some settle in straight away others take years, and arseholes like us end up going backwards and forwards Things are increasing in cost the world over so it's not just the UK that we are feeling the pinch. Good luck with what ever you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzy+1 Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Agree with you about the general costs here in oz, especially the food shopping, dont think ive ever seen a 'buy one get one free' in 7 months either! The equivalent to B&Q here is Bunnings. I was also wishing for an argos when i first arrived, couldnt find anywhere to buy a pushchair from?? But you just have to look through yellow pages/internet/word of mouth as to where all the bigger shops are lurking, have found there a quite a few industrial estate that sell all the bigger or specialised items. The city is definatly limited in shops so it does take a while to find out where everything is. Kmart is good cheap kids clothes/toys etc-bit like the UKs primark/matalan. Harvey norman might do white goods, i bought my dyson hoover from there a few weeks back, they often have good specials on and mostly sell computers/electricals. Hope you begin to settle a bit more soon. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 sorry things aren't working out for you i wish you well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taffy 62 Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Hi I know where your coming from. We moved to brisbane in january up from country victoria. When we first looked at coming here back last October, we worked it out that we could afford a decent home, similar to what we had there, and would have a good life style and be an hours drive away from beaches etc. Well 3 months later when we did arrive, house prices had gone up about 27% and they are still going up, I think Qld is the only state where this is happening. Theres no way that we could afford any thing remotely like we are used too unless we have a huge mortgage, and like you, dont want to do that as then we couldnt afford to do anything. I personally find brisbane hard to fit in too its hard to make friends and I really found the lifestye completely different to other parts of austrialia. I have lived in Oz 19 years and lived in south australia and victoria. I think brisbane is a lovely place for a holiday but not to live. So I am moving back to victoria next week, but I have given it 9 months and it hasnt changed from day 1. But it may be different for you in 9 months time you could have a lovely social network and be really happy, I hope so. This is only my feelings as my daughter loves it here and would never go back she is in gaythorne and has friends in ferny grove. I dont know what type of work you are in but if the main reason is financial security maybe try a different state or even towns in the country not the cities as housing and living costs are a lot cheaper then. I dont mean to do this now but maybe in 6 months time when you have had time to get your thoughts together and re evaluate things. I would definately try this before making the decision to move back to the uk. I must admit I didnt get the feelings that your having when we first came to australia as I was too busy, they came later, and now I have had them here as Im missing what I have built up in victoria over many years. It takes time to establish friends and a life style and your not alone in feeling this way, please give it more time and you may look back and think what did I panic about. If in time you still feel the same then maybe you are like me and realise whats more important to you. and if that is having your friends and family around then so be it. But just remember eventually you will make friends and the more friends you make the easier it will become to settle here. Pm me anytime if you feel the need to talk to someone.:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lala28 Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Hi Shazzi We moved to Mackay last year and were horrified by the price of living. My husband earned the same as he did in the UK but we were minus my wage! I think by the sounds of things what you are missing is familiarity. I felt exactly the same but i would strongly urge you to stick it out if you can. We returned after 5 months due to family illness (and the cost of living), however we now want to return and wish we had fought through all the feelings we had. I met several brits and they all felt the same so don't be too harsh on yourself. Whatever you decide I really wish you all the luck on the world. Regards Lala Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aldo Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Well now you're here I would suggest you try to enjoy the summer then endure the winter and if you still feel the same way cut your losses and go home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheArmChairDetective Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Hi Shazzi, It will get better. There use dto be a song called Camp Grenada ( Ithink) It was about a boy in a summer camp writing to his parents asking to come home. Then the sun shone and he told his parents to disregard his letter. The moral, Yes it's bad for you but Look for the sun (new friends, new clubs, fun) and that sun will shine on you too. Good luck and keep us posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Oh dear, I suspect you are having the first anticlimax blues - happens all the time but, yes, probably what you are saying is quite true. (((hugs))) I tend to go to Harvey Normans for most of my whitegoods stuff - just smile sweetly at them and say "now how much are you really going to sell it to me for?" and they will give you sometimes very nice discounts! They will also price match if you happen to know somewhere that sells it cheaper. The Good Guys and Bing Lee (if you have them there) are also good at bargaining especially if you have cash. I agree with Freecycle too, you can pick up just what you want sometimes. I do go along with the others though, give it a bit more time - it certainly seems that if you go home within a few weeks or months that you are more likely to pingpong. Give it over a year and you are more likely to make a more balanced and objective decision. As for your present predicament, put a time frame on it - dont think of this as the rest of your life but say 1 - 2 years and then sit down and make an objective decision about where you will be better off. Thinking about it as being the rest of your life can be incredibly crippling. Sometimes you really need the break away from UK to realize how good you had it! I think though that you have encapsulated what we do try and say from time to time - Australia is not cheap (any more) and it can be very hard work. I do hope it gets better for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 What a shame you are feeling this way ,i had the odd down days and they do get less but you have to hang on in there. Youve moved across the world so of course you will be lonely ,you havnt had time to get out and meet people ,Kindys are a great way of meeting people ,lots of my friends have been made via kindy or school. Go to the local parks and shops and when someone chats ,,chat back .The village shows or fun days are an excellent day out ,cost very little and are full of people. You smile and chat ,they will smile and chat back. There isnt the same shops as the UK and this last year prices have gone up ,however ,when you learn where to shop you can reduce your weekly bills massively .Part of the fun is trying all the different shops ,ask locals where they would go? Bunnings is expensive and its very rare i buy from there.Aldi is chespest for tinned stuff ,crazy clarks and Warehouse are great for plastic tuperware stuff and some garden things,my meat is always from the butchers,not the supermarket ,find a good butcher and you should be able to halve the supermarket costs. Fruit and veg markets are again cheaper than supermarkets,drive around and you will find these places . More than anything you need time to settle ,the best advice i can give anyone moving here is be prepared to start at the bottom ,knowing no-one,plod along and everything will drop into place .Dont expect too much too soon ,its Australia!lol, Good luck and i hpe you feel better soon Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Cal hit the nail on the head. Dont look for too much too quick. Take time, settle in, investigate your surroundings and breathe!!! For some people they can settle at the drop of a hat. Some people settle after a month. Some after a year! It doesnt mean it is wrong or you are a failure or any of those crazy notions that go through your head!!!!! It will be VERY weird not having family and friends close. Next Feb I have been here 4 years and i STILL have down days where i miss people. Its a normal reaction! I think it was CazBeckham (Mum to me!) that said give it a year. We always said we would give it 2 and them review. However I think, if you know, you know! Know what I mean! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mollyflanders Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 so sorry to see you are feeling a bit down It is hard initialy and it takes a while for some. I have been here nearly a year and so far made hardly any friends at all, I do have my daughter and family so that makes it for me, however everyone needs friends, and being young with a young family you will soon I am sure, I think my age is what is against me most folk I have met are younger and chat when we meet but seems to go no further, fortunately a neighbour has become close to me and I am truely thankful as you need someone. I f you get stuck with needing babysitter, I have my grandaughter 4 days a week and could help you out if necessary i am about 30 mins, from ferny grove. Keep your chin up and e mail me anytime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgie Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Hi Bolton to Brisbane Gosh what a quick turnaround! Can i ask where you have decided to return to? Georgie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ross-lavender Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Hi Shazzi I know how you are feeling I arrived here with my 2 children 2 and 4 years.My other half arrived about 2 months ago as he has a job n Brisbane and he found us a house in Kenmore.I understand exactly what you mean it is all different and I am finding it hard just trying to find out what I need to do and how I o about sorting things out for the kids.It is difficult to meet ayone as I do not now anyone either in Brisbane.So if you a fancy a coffee and a chat let me know.I think we just need to hang on and hope it all gets abit easier I reckon Nikki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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