Moving with older children

[Quoll]

1 minute ago, Tulip1 said:

It’s not fair that your mum is putting this pressure on you.  You do what you think is best for your own family.  Your mum should want that too.  Her ideals should come way below what’s best for her child and grandchildren.  

As an elderly person myself I would wholeheartedly agree with that.  She certainly shouldn't be putting pressure on them to move just because she wants to move.  I can certainly relate to being an elderly person wanting to return to my roots but there is no way I would expect my kids to come with me, just because I want to go. If she has a good social network then she should be well supported in her old age.

I do wonder how the OP's partner feels about having to leave his family behind, no doubt they arent getting any younger either.

In response to the OP's enquiry about auctions - no bargains, the converse is usually true, auctions generally drive up prices especially when you are competing with Asian money intent on buying properties.  I think the northern beaches and eastern suburbs are a bit pie in the sky unless you are coming over with several million in the bank. Newcastle or Wollongong are going to be a bit more accessible with more bang for your buck.  

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, KCart said:

I know i have had a look at the housing and do agree..Manly would be my choice but i have seen Belrose but really anywhere on the Northshore but it’s so expensive and often without prices .I’ve also seen auctions but don’t know if you get a bargain this way!?.Our family is in Newcastle ,Illawong ,Wollongong ,and eastern suburbs ( we would happily go here too)We do want Sydney.

No auctions are NOT a way to get a bargain. Exactly the opposite in fact.  Agents deliberately lie and give you a low estimate of the price, probably less than the owner is willing to accept.  Then when you turn up on auction day, they hope everyone will get competitive and bid against each other, driving up the price.  The actual sold price is almost always tens of thousands higher than the estimate.   It's a racket. 

If there's no price on a property, same thing. You can contact the agent and they will give you a low price, then try to bargain you up.  So whatever you're seeing on the net, add $50,000 at least.  Also don't forget the stamp duty!  Also assume that the photos are photoshopped and the property is smaller and less attractive than it looks. 

Manly is one of the most expensive suburbs in Sydney. Even an apartment will cost you more than $1 million. Median price for a house is $4 million.

https://www.realestate.com.au/nsw/manly-2095/

Honestly, unless you are moving from London, I wouldn't recommend moving to Sydney.  Even houses in the far outer suburbs are expensive (if you see one that's cheap, it's either a dump or it's not a good area).   Migrating is expensive enough without condemning yourself to huge mortgage stress too. 

One of the reasons there's a nursing shortage in Sydney is that ordinary people, like teachers and nurses, can't afford to live there any more. A bit like Cambridge or London in the UK.   

I'd suggest Newcastle.  It used to be a grungy working class town and some areas are still like that, but there are some lovely suburbs now, and housing is half the price of Sydney for an equivalent property.  Gorgeous beaches, on the doorstep of the wineries, and the dolphins of Port Stephens too.  Also there's a good train line and a good highway to Sydney, so you can pop down to Sydney for the day any time you like.

Edited January 26, 2023 by Marisawright

[KCart]

She’s not putting pressure -she would like to go and if i don’t go she would accept it but i guess i am feeling if i don’t do it now it will be too late . i wish i had done it sooner but i didn’t and can’t change that !  I am just getting my head round it if it is do-able .My children are the most important part of this but i won’t know if it’s a good thing  unless i try .My other half -his parents are in a home-he can see the benefits but also worried about uprooting our lives here  .We have been to Newcastle but we don’t want to live there .I realise everything you are saying about North Shore /eastern suburbs .I don’t want to be in a rough area and i want good schools.lots to think about .

[Marisawright]

3 hours ago, KCart said:

We have been to Newcastle but we don’t want to live there .I realise everything you are saying about North Shore /eastern suburbs .I don’t want to be in a rough area and i want good schools.lots to think about .

Have you seen all of Newcastle, or just the town centre, or just the area where your family lives?   It's surprising how you can get totally the wrong impression of a large city, depending on which bits you visit.  Newcastle has rough areas, like any city that size. However it also has some lovely family-friendly suburbs and even some trendy ones.

At my work, I had a colleague who'd been transferred from the Newcastle office.   Over a year later, he was still commuting every day from Newcastle to Sydney (two hours!), because he refused to move his family to Sydney.   He felt Newcastle was a much better place to raise his children, for safety, access to amenities and schooling.  He was a senior executive who would have bought on the North Shore if he had moved.  So I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss Newcastle.

[Marisawright]

4 hours ago, KCart said:

.I realise everything you are saying about North Shore /eastern suburbs .I don’t want to be in a rough area and i want good schools.lots to think about .

Also, saying you only want the North Shore/Eastern suburbs is a bit like saying you're moving to London, but you can only consider Chelsea and Kensington.  They are not just the most expensive but also the poshest and most snobbish.  There are plenty of other parts of Sydney which are more affordable but not rough.  

[KCart]

I live in London but not those areas.what areas in Sydney would you advise ? I have been told to avoid Western sydney ..

[Ausvisitor]

52 minutes ago, KCart said:

I live in London but not those areas.what areas in Sydney would you advise ? I have been told to avoid Western sydney ..

Even that is a bit outdated. Certainly western Sydney isn't as pretty or gentrified as the eastern suburbs or the north, but it isn't the hell-hole people think it is (it was but no more).

Also with the build of the new airport in western Sydney and the expansion of the metro to Bankstown by 2024 as nd Parramatta and the new airport by around 2028 those western areas are going to become very popular with people seeking affordable space, and with that sort of migration comes huge uplift in services and property values.

Certainly don't discount the west unless you are getting your advice from someone who currently lives in the west.

[Marisawright]

46 minutes ago, KCart said:

I live in London but not those areas.what areas in Sydney would you advise ? I have been told to avoid Western sydney ..

There are some lovely suburbs in Western Sydney too. A lot of it is prejudice, and based on outdated opinions.  I was influenced by those when I first arrived too, and discovered most of them were wrong.  People in Sydney are very tribal:  they don't often travel outside their area, so they have no idea how much things have changed. 

For instance, when I first moved to Sydney, I lived in the Eastern Suburbs. For years, I thought anything West of Glebe or South of Randwick was a wilderness.  Anything North of the Harbour Bridge was nothing but snobs and Sloane Rangers.  Then I met my second husband.

When we first moved in together, we had a flat in Five Dock -- way beyong my old Western limit!  I discovered that I loved the trendy cafes in Majors Bay, the Bay Walk, the quaint streets of Balmain, the Italian atmosphere of Leichhardt and Haberfield.   Then we started looking for a place to buy near his Mum in Gymea, and I discovered the joys of being a short drive to the ocean and the National Park, while still having my cafes and restaurants.  As it happened, we couldn't find a place we liked in Gymea so we ended up in Oatley, with its clocktower, village green, lovely walks and  fast trains to the city. 

I'll be honest, I wouldn't live further West than Five Dock/Lane Cove. The further west you go, the hotter and stickier it gets.  High summer is bad enough without living somewhere hours from the beach!

[KCart]

Thank you ,ok that’s good to know for west Sydney ,i know if some areas family have warned me about ! Obviously like London there are some dire areas even near nicer areas…The dream is Avalon beach /Narrabeen but as you have said the prices are massively underpriced. I’m now thinking about properties that might need renovation but i need a property for all of us ! 

[Marisawright]

2 hours ago, KCart said:

Thank you ,ok that’s good to know for west Sydney ,i know if some areas family have warned me about ! Obviously like London there are some dire areas even near nicer areas…The dream is Avalon beach /Narrabeen but as you have said the prices are massively underpriced. I’m now thinking about properties that might need renovation but i need a property for all of us ! 

Remember that Sydney covers a vast area.   All of those suburbs I mentioned are nowhere near "dire areas".  Most of the rough areas are much further west or much further south. 

The downside of Avalon Beach is transport.  You'll have to drive everywhere, as there's only the bus, no trains. Go to Google Maps and see how long it takes to get from Avalon Beach to the city in rush hour. Consider where your work is likely to be and check the transport times, remembering you may be working shifts. 

[Tychen]

On 27/01/2023 at 20:46, Marisawright said:

Remember that Sydney covers a vast area.   All of those suburbs I mentioned are nowhere near "dire areas".  Most of the rough areas are much further west or much further south. 

The downside of Avalon Beach is transport.  You'll have to drive everywhere, as there's only the bus, no trains. Go to Google Maps and see how long it takes to get from Avalon Beach to the city in rush hour. Consider where your work is likely to be and check the transport times, remembering you may be working shifts. 

Yes a lot of the Sydney suburbs that traditionally people would avoid - say Marrickville - are now some of the trendiest. As @Maisawright has pointed out the inner west is perfectly civilised. Once upon a time there was a sort of bastion of poshness in Strathfield and otherwise everything between Strathfield and the City was industrial/working class, but it's very different now, the inner west is now almost entirely leafy suburbs with done up houses and nice cafes (etc). The south is also nicer than it used to be - even the Sutherland Shire is not the backwater it used to be. Things have changed a lot in recent decades!

That said, personally I wouldn't live further west than around Ryde/Concord/Strathfield. There's a sort of 'no man's land' of uninhabited land between the inner and outer west (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inner_West) and it's a completely different feel once you cross that divide. The northwest (beyond Ryde/Parramatta) also has transport issues - permanent traffic jams.

If you need a mortgage, be aware that the length of your expected working life will play a part in how much you can borrow as well.

[KCart]

Thanks everyone.Just don’t want to be in an area where we don’t feel safe ,I hadn’t even considered some of these areas but i have been looking at Strathfield and Mascot.good point is the transport links and i didn’t realise this would be a problem with North Shore.I am thinking renting somewhere when we arrive would be best and also getting on board with estate agents now.I am torn between waiting till may 2024 as my son will have sat his GCSEs as realistically we wouldn’t be getting here till December 2023 depending on selling houses ,the dog also and P/visa .Leaving with few months to go till GSCEs seems a shame with all the work he’s put on and my other son would still be 12 being an august birthday .

[Quoll]

1 hour ago, KCart said:

Thanks everyone.Just don’t want to be in an area where we don’t feel safe ,I hadn’t even considered some of these areas but i have been looking at Strathfield and Mascot.good point is the transport links and i didn’t realise this would be a problem with North Shore.I am thinking renting somewhere when we arrive would be best and also getting on board with estate agents now.I am torn between waiting till may 2024 as my son will have sat his GCSEs as realistically we wouldn’t be getting here till December 2023 depending on selling houses ,the dog also and P/visa .Leaving with few months to go till GSCEs seems a shame with all the work he’s put on and my other son would still be 12 being an august birthday .

You probably don't want to arrive in December - the place closes down over Christmas and there is a huge pressure on rentals at the beginning of the year as students and new postings all vie for rentals. Arriving after May will give you a (marginally) less demanding  time for rentals and the job market will be plugging along (for your husband). Your son has the time up his sleeve as he doesn't turn 16 until the May and he can enrol in year 10 then. Your youngest son can slot into year 7 mid year.  

[CornishDoc]

We moved at this age and stage, coming up to two years now. It was very, very, very hard on both kids and adults and although many things did not turn out how I anticipated it was definitely a great decision for us. 
GCSEs are irrelevant here so you could treat them as a practice without the stress or move midway and it doesn’t matter. 
Nursing is very well regarded here and many nurses work well into their 60s. I personally do not think you’d even be considered old. (I am also 47 and work in a hospital and although I realise I’m not one of the young ones I don’t feel old ever and many of my work buddies are much older and much younger.)
I miss my friends but especially initially it was helpful to have time and headspace to focus on family and settling. And I am making new friends which is nice!
My only regret is that initially we took an equivocal approach, coming to try it out with a view to returning, which complicates everyone’s feelings. I wish I’d been braver and just decided to move, end of, and gotten on with it. 
Good luck with whatever you decide. 
 

[Marisawright]

12 hours ago, KCart said:

Thanks everyone.Just don’t want to be in an area where we don’t feel safe ,I hadn’t even considered some of these areas but i have been looking at Strathfield and Mascot.

Mascot is where the airport is.  It used to be pretty awful but has gentrified in recent years.  However that doesn't change the constant aircraft noise.   

Strathfield is right at the western edge of what I'd look at, frankly.  It has some grand old homes from its heyday as a posh suburb, but it's gone downhill IMO.  It also has some major roads running through it, and it's a major rail junction for local and country trains, so watch out for homes situated near the rail or roads as you'll have constant noise (and huge freight trains run all night on that line). 

If you're going West, I'd look at Ashbury, Five Dock, Concord West. Consider Lane Cove across the bridge.  Are you looking at Homely.com.au suburb reviews to get an idea?

  https://www.homely.com.au/find-suburb-by-region/sydney-greater-new-south-wales

Edited February 4, 2023 by Marisawright

[benj1980]

On 25/01/2023 at 20:12, KCart said:

Thanks that’s so helpful..if we go there are no plans to return .I have asked them about Uni ,The older one (14) wants to do a trade -he is doing construction GCSE which he really enjoys so i’m hoping there may be something like this .The plan is Sydney -north shore -eastern suburbs but i realise i can’t apply to public schools without an address

If your eldest is not looking at University then get over when you can. There's plenty of trade certificates on offer at schools and TAFE. GCSEs as have been mentioned have no currency here.

[KCart]

Thanks ,He’s not looking at university -i think more towards a trade.i need a valid aus passport to start the partner visa process so i am waiting on that coming .I understand i need this before he can start this application .Also have the dog too -im realistically looking at june 2024 so thought he should just do the GCSEs in may 2024 .I don’t know how quick the visa will come through.Then i’m getting older too near 50  think it may be hard making friends as my children are older ! I see most moves are with children of younger age and they just slot in.

[Marisawright]

3 hours ago, KCart said:

Thanks ,He’s not looking at university -i think more towards a trade.i need a valid aus passport to start the partner visa process so i am waiting on that coming .I understand i need this before he can start this application .Also have the dog too -im realistically looking at june 2024 so thought he should just do the GCSEs in may 2024 .I don’t know how quick the visa will come through.Then i’m getting older too near 50  think it may be hard making friends as my children are older ! I see most moves are with children of younger age and they just slot in.

Oh dear, this move is sounding harder and harder.   The sad thing is that his GCSE's won't help him get into an apprenticeship or trade course here, so he's going to spend the next year studying for nothing.   I wonder if there's any other kind of course he could do as an alternative? (I don't know, maybe someone else will have an idea).  

I guess you know that you need to start the process of getting your dog ready now as there are various things that need to be done several months in advance.  

The partner visa is a bit hard to predict.  The wait times quoted on the Immigration website include people applying from high risk areas that take a long time.  Last year, if you applied from the UK, they were being approved in three months.  Now I believe it's all slowed down again. The best thing is just to get the application in as soon as you can.

[altymatt]

If you can get here in time for your eldest to join year 10 I would go for it and forget GCSE's. Although if he's not interested in Uni that isn't too important either, as apprenticeships and TAFE are flexible.

[Bulya]

We were 15, 12, and 10.  Couldn’t have turned out better 

[KCart]

We will be 16 and 12 so that’s good to hear .what area did you move to ? 

[Quoll]

25 minutes ago, KCart said:

We will be 16 and 12 so that’s good to hear .what area did you move to ? 

16 is the key age here - be prepared for them to be placed with a cohort which could be 12-18 months younger than they are, or look at alternatives to school, like TAFE but whatever you do do not enrol them half way through either years 11 or 12.  If you can leave them in UK until they have finished A levels all the better.

[Bulya]

1 hour ago, KCart said:

We will be 16 and 12 so that’s good to hear .what area did you move to ? 

South Australia.  Thankfully left there for good in ‘73. 

[KCart]

He will turn  16 in may 2024 so would be moving June /July .He would have completed his GCSEs in may /june 2024.

[Quoll]

8 hours ago, KCart said:

He will turn  16 in may 2024 so would be moving June /July .He would have completed his GCSEs in may /june 2024.

Ah, ok, he will be the right age to go into year 10 when you move mid 2024. Ignore any thing you may have got from the UK system either year level names or qualifications, they'll mean nothing here.