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Cobs_Ahoy

Having a wobble 🙁🙁🙁

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15 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

You guys are funny.  POMs move here mostly because they have family here, because the weather is good, or because buying a home is cheaper.  Are there nicer more interesting places?  Sure, but they are also more expensive.  There were nicer and more expensive places in the UK too, and most of the migrating POMS didn't live their either.

Exactly why I live in Sydney's Inner West, wanted a nicer more interesting place. Loved in the thick of it in the UK, didn't want suburbia out here, but you do have to pay for it

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On 13/12/2022 at 04:43, Cobs_Ahoy said:

Im a (very!) new arrival to Oz and have found myself really questioning whether we should stay here. Obviously not ideal, but also not the end of the world if we go back. 


We (me, husband, 7yo and 2yo) arrived here at the end of October. We got off to a good start, visited my sister in VIC for 2 weeks then headed up to the Gold Coast where my job was waiting for me. We cracked on with everything that was within our power to sort (bank accounts, phones, school, etc), but have had some difficulties with my employer, and finding a rental here at the min is brutal.

 

Up until recently I haven’t thought about home at all, but in the last 72hours I have just suddenly been hit by a wave of extreme anxiety about staying here. Rationally I know it takes a while to settle, but I can’t get this thought out of my head that if we aren’t going settle then it would be better to go back ASAP so my daughter can get back into a U.K. school asap (she has been complaining that the year 1 class was learning stuff her previous school taught  in reception) to minimise the extent to which she would be behind. I’m not someone who usually struggles with feeling anxious, but am second guessing myself as to whether it will pass once we’ve settled.

 

has anyone else had this reaction within the first couple of months of landing? What did you do and do you regret the choices you made?  Part of me thinks this is a normal reaction to the stress of getting settled in a new job (I’m not great circumstances) along with really struggling to get a rental sorted (we still haven’t got anything long term), an perhaps I’ll feel better in 6 months time. But the other part of me is looking on rightmove, NHS jobs and costing flights+shipping!

 

Hello.... 

Your post a while back really stayed with me. I just wondered how have got on now? 

Hope that's not weird! Think as you were a few months ahead of us with young fam etc. 

Hope you're ok x

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Hi @Constance

Not weird at all, I often find myself wondering how posters on this forum have got on.

We are still in Australia, but making plans to return to the U.K in April. We were having no luck finding stable accommodation on the Gold Coast, and I think unfortunately the ongoing stress of that really compounded our homesickness and made it difficult to enjoy what Australia has to offer. When we were facing homelessness (on Boxing Day!!!) we found ourselves in a situation where we had to take on a ridiculously expensive short term tenancy, we were hoping after the summer holidays finished the pressure would ease housing-wise and we could move into something cheaper, unfortunately that hasnt happened.

If we had fallen in love with the country, or were in a situation where we were substantially better off/the kids had a better life/better opportunities, we could have worked at resolving the housing issue - eg moving somewhere else etc. However, we just aren’t that invested in staying here, certainly not enough uproot the kids from school etc, just to move back to the U.K. in 6/12/18 months time and uproot them again.

We left the U.K in September, (admittedly 4 weeks of which were spent in Europe before we came to Oz!), and so feel like we’ve scratched a pandemic-induced itch of getting out of the u.k. But we are returning with a better sense of what bits of British culture are important to us, and what changes we need to make to avoid getting stuck in that rut again. We are returning to a new area of the U.K. (moving from a Nottinghamshire town to Herefordshire -inspired in part by the beautiful Queensland hinterland), I’ve got a brilliant job waiting for me (I hated nursing out here), and my husband is having a career change (from working in social care to working towards becoming a ranger!).

And we are in the sweet spot with the kids - they have loved their time here but still talk about moving home, my 7yo didn’t like school here and I’m pleased I can get her back into the English school system before she feels too left behind.

Basically, it’s been a 6 month working holiday!!! We’ve had some good times, but we are excited to return to the U.K 😬😬

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You've had a very tough time of it by the sound of things.  Can't say I blame you for wanting to return.  Fantastic that you have plans to move to a different area of the UK and that you have a job waiting for you.  I wish you and your family all the very best in your next adventure!

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44 minutes ago, Cobs_Ahoy said:

Hi @Constance

Not weird at all, I often find myself wondering how posters on this forum have got on.

We are still in Australia, but making plans to return to the U.K in April. We were having no luck finding stable accommodation on the Gold Coast, and I think unfortunately the ongoing stress of that really compounded our homesickness and made it difficult to enjoy what Australia has to offer. When we were facing homelessness (on Boxing Day!!!) we found ourselves in a situation where we had to take on a ridiculously expensive short term tenancy, we were hoping after the summer holidays finished the pressure would ease housing-wise and we could move into something cheaper, unfortunately that hasnt happened.

If we had fallen in love with the country, or were in a situation where we were substantially better off/the kids had a better life/better opportunities, we could have worked at resolving the housing issue - eg moving somewhere else etc. However, we just aren’t that invested in staying here, certainly not enough uproot the kids from school etc, just to move back to the U.K. in 6/12/18 months time and uproot them again.

We left the U.K in September, (admittedly 4 weeks of which were spent in Europe before we came to Oz!), and so feel like we’ve scratched a pandemic-induced itch of getting out of the u.k. But we are returning with a better sense of what bits of British culture are important to us, and what changes we need to make to avoid getting stuck in that rut again. We are returning to a new area of the U.K. (moving from a Nottinghamshire town to Herefordshire -inspired in part by the beautiful Queensland hinterland), I’ve got a brilliant job waiting for me (I hated nursing out here), and my husband is having a career change (from working in social care to working towards becoming a ranger!).

And we are in the sweet spot with the kids - they have loved their time here but still talk about moving home, my 7yo didn’t like school here and I’m pleased I can get her back into the English school system before she feels too left behind.

Basically, it’s been a 6 month working holiday!!! We’ve had some good times, but we are excited to return to the U.K 😬😬

Good luck with your move forward, it sounds like you have made a very measured decision and Herefordshire is lovely, I hate to say it, but better than Nottinghamshire!!! I hope you got to see a bit of the country (you should have at least visited the national capital but I am prejudiced!).  I am toying with the idea of going back in April for a holiday - there is a particularly nice wool show just across the border in Wales LOL  For me it will be a wake up on Monday and think I will fly out on Wednesday kinda thing, that's what usually happens.  All the best with the move!

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Thanks @Toots and @Quoll I’m glad we didn’t rush home back to Nottinghamshire in a blind panic back in December, this way feels much more positive and like we are moving forwards. And very excited about Herefordshire, looking forward to having the black mountains and Malvern hills on our doorstep, and being closer to Bristol is a real positive for us too as we have good friends there, who I will never take for granted again!!!!

I hope you make it back for April Quoll, I’ve discovered an innate love of English spring time since moving to the Gold Coast!!!

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1 hour ago, Cobs_Ahoy said:

Thanks @Toots and @Quoll I’m glad we didn’t rush home back to Nottinghamshire in a blind panic back in December, this way feels much more positive and like we are moving forwards. And very excited about Herefordshire, looking forward to having the black mountains and Malvern hills on our doorstep, and being closer to Bristol is a real positive for us too as we have good friends there, who I will never take for granted again!!!!

I hope you make it back for April Quoll, I’ve discovered an innate love of English spring time since moving to the Gold Coast!!!

And you have the Wye Valley and Forest of Dean to the South of the county. Kayaking from Ross on Wye to Symonds Yat is really popular. I’m running a forest race there late April and the videos of past events look beautiful.  It’s a lovely area and what a great place to raise children. They’ll have you down at Go Ape every month!
 

Good luck. Sounds like a really promising next phase for you all. 

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British  | Lived in Australia 2001-02 on 457   | Married Aussie wife & moved back to UK | Plan to return to Sydney 2026 when all kids have finished school

5 Feb 2023 - 309/100 submitted | 14 Mar 2023 309 & 100 granted

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3 hours ago, Cobs_Ahoy said:

Hi @Constance

Not weird at all, I often find myself wondering how posters on this forum have got on.

We are still in Australia, but making plans to return to the U.K in April. We were having no luck finding stable accommodation on the Gold Coast, and I think unfortunately the ongoing stress of that really compounded our homesickness and made it difficult to enjoy what Australia has to offer. When we were facing homelessness (on Boxing Day!!!) we found ourselves in a situation where we had to take on a ridiculously expensive short term tenancy, we were hoping after the summer holidays finished the pressure would ease housing-wise and we could move into something cheaper, unfortunately that hasnt happened.

If we had fallen in love with the country, or were in a situation where we were substantially better off/the kids had a better life/better opportunities, we could have worked at resolving the housing issue - eg moving somewhere else etc. However, we just aren’t that invested in staying here, certainly not enough uproot the kids from school etc, just to move back to the U.K. in 6/12/18 months time and uproot them again.

We left the U.K in September, (admittedly 4 weeks of which were spent in Europe before we came to Oz!), and so feel like we’ve scratched a pandemic-induced itch of getting out of the u.k. But we are returning with a better sense of what bits of British culture are important to us, and what changes we need to make to avoid getting stuck in that rut again. We are returning to a new area of the U.K. (moving from a Nottinghamshire town to Herefordshire -inspired in part by the beautiful Queensland hinterland), I’ve got a brilliant job waiting for me (I hated nursing out here), and my husband is having a career change (from working in social care to working towards becoming a ranger!).

And we are in the sweet spot with the kids - they have loved their time here but still talk about moving home, my 7yo didn’t like school here and I’m pleased I can get her back into the English school system before she feels too left behind.

Basically, it’s been a 6 month working holiday!!! We’ve had some good times, but we are excited to return to the U.K 😬😬

I'm glad you have worked out the solution that is best for you. 

The accommodation part panics me a little as it is my biggest concern logistically and it's had a very significant impact on you. 

You sound very at peace with your decision though, and that's the main thing. There's much worse things than having a 6 month holiday and life experience so good for you. 

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21 minutes ago, FirstWorldProblems said:

And you have the Wye Valley and Forest of Dean to the South of the county. Kayaking from Ross on Wye to Symonds Yat is really popular. I’m running a forest race there late April and the videos of past events look beautiful.  It’s a lovely area and what a great place to raise children. They’ll have you down at Go Ape every month!
 

Good luck. Sounds like a really promising next phase for you all. 

Thanks @FirstWorldProblems We are going to be over towards the Gloucestershire side of the county, very much looking forward to exploring the wye valley and the Forest of Dean. 

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22 minutes ago, Constance said:

I'm glad you have worked out the solution that is best for you. 

The accommodation part panics me a little as it is my biggest concern logistically and it's had a very significant impact on you. 

You sound very at peace with your decision though, and that's the main thing. There's much worse things than having a 6 month holiday and life experience so good for you. 

Cheers @Constance I think my sanguine posts belie a very stressful couple of months, and although I’m framing our choices positively I am disappointed that our experience wasn’t what we had hoped. However, we were not happy with where our lives were at this time last year in the U.K., and I do think this experience has given us some clarity about what needed to change. 

Yes the housing situation was a significant part of the stress, but it wasn’t the only factor, and some of the issues were unique to us. So while it’s good to be prepared, please don’t let my experience worry you too much.
 

Good luck with your move, even despite our return to the U.K. I am glad we did it, although I wish we hadn’t bothered shipping our furniture 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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15 hours ago, Cobs_Ahoy said:

Cheers @Constance I think my sanguine posts belie a very stressful couple of months, and although I’m framing our choices positively I am disappointed that our experience wasn’t what we had hoped. However, we were not happy with where our lives were at this time last year in the U.K., and I do think this experience has given us some clarity about what needed to change. 

Yes the housing situation was a significant part of the stress, but it wasn’t the only factor, and some of the issues were unique to us. So while it’s good to be prepared, please don’t let my experience worry you too much.
 

Good luck with your move, even despite our return to the U.K. I am glad we did it, although I wish we hadn’t bothered shipping our furniture 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Cobs_Ahoy I've only just read this thread, so I'm glad you're looking at your return to the UK positively. You're moving back to a beautiful part of the country at the best time of year, so there will be lots to look forward to.

Returning to Australia in the future is probably the last thing on your mind right now, but then they don't call us ping-pong Poms for nothing! I went back to the UK for 3 years, but I've been back here for 12 years now. When I moved to the UK I kept my Australian bank accounts open and credit card, as well as my Medicare card and Driving licence up-to-date. It cost me very little, and made life a lot easier when I returned to Australia. I used a friend's address, but I believe you said you had a sister in Melbourne. I'm sure you will settle back in the UK... but just in case!

Unless you're particularly attached to your furniture, I'd flog the lot before you go. You'll get more money than you would in the UK, and no return shipping costs.

Good luck with it all 🤞

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Thanks @InnerVoice

We are looking forward to an English spring time, not that I’ve been away long enough to miss one! Still, I can’t wait to pick some wild garlic to make soup/pesto, also might push the boat out in terms of Englishness and make some sparkling elderflower wine, fully embrace our return!!!!!

Yes ping-ponging seems unlikely for us, although we have PR so I guess the option is there, for 5 years anyway! 

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16 hours ago, Cobs_Ahoy said:

also might push the boat out in terms of Englishness and make some sparkling elderflower wine, fully embrace our return!!!!!

"Embracing my Englishness"  ...I'll remember that if I need to justify forking out for my next case of the local (Tasmanian) elderflower sparkling. 😀

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