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Blanca Teresa

Just can't settle here

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1 hour ago, Blue Flu said:

Probably all things considered not better to get out more and know more than enough what's going down around me, thanks very much. But to label Australia the friendliest country in the world, while I understand is subjective, will not find accord with a large number of people. Myself included. 

A small minority.  

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22 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

I can still remember a guy at the hostel I stayed at in Newcastle Street in November, 1978, saying to me, "Want to put $2 in Dave.  I'm going to the bottle shop at the Leederville Hotel to get some bottles of "P##$". He came from Blackburn South in Melbourne.  496 or 396 Newcastle St opp a car dealer. The hostel was still there albiet a different name when I went back 5 years ago. I went back to the Leederville Hotel too.

I'd met a couple of guys on the ship, one from St Peter Port, the other from Auckland and we were in the hostel for a month together. If only I'd stayed in Perth!? Not cared about jobs or seeing the Sydney Opera House, the Sydney Harbour Bridge and Bondi Beach. Just stayed in Perth till I got a job.

Who knows how things might have turned out. I never planned to spend 30 years in Sydney nor move to Surfers. Come to think of it, I should have come straight to Surfers!

I've never, NEVER met any Aussies like the ones you mention!

Were you TV addicted or something akin back in those days. We're a similar vintage. I've been going to Aussie pubs from age 16. Although it was a country town, (one of the bigger WA ones, it was rough) Easiest thing in the world was to get into a dust up. All I can say, is London seemed so civilized in comparison in the seventies. 

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12 hours ago, Blue Flu said:

Were you TV addicted or something akin back in those days. We're a similar vintage. I've been going to Aussie pubs from age 16. Although it was a country town, (one of the bigger WA ones, it was rough) Easiest thing in the world was to get into a dust up. All I can say, is London seemed so civilized in comparison in the seventies. 

Seems to me you're comparing apples with oranges (country town vs London).  London seemed incredibly civilized in the seventies compared to my home town in Scotland

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband granted UK spouse visa March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

My new novel, A Dance With Danger, is due out August 2022

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1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

Seems to me you're comparing apples with oranges (country town vs London).  London seemed incredibly civilized in the seventies compared to my home town in Scotland

Although to some in UK from small towns, London was seen as having an element of danger and foreboding. I lived first months in a Lincolnshire town and that was certainly the impression of many. Others did think it more a case of liberation, breaking small town mold and being able to be one self. As for comparing Australia, I expressed a smaller town (termed city) but also experienced living in Perth which to my mind wasn't a lot better , just broader in behaviour. Perhaps where the OP hailed from, a village outside of Southampton, was worse , I've no idea. All I can compare with is the town in Lincolnshire which was nowhere as rough. 

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Seems to me you're comparing apples with oranges (country town vs London).  London seemed incredibly civilized in the seventies compared to my home town in Scotland

I didn't consider London incredibly civilised in the 70s compared to my hometown.  I thought it was noisy, crowded and dirty.  That could be because I was brought up to accept all people no matter how different they were.  Most of the people in my hometown thought the same way though there were a few narrow minded folk around.  Lots of artists and hippy types around.  Nobody thought same sex people living together in a happy relationship was out of the ordinary and this is was going back to the 50s.  There was a (private) boarding school nearby where the children of actors and artistic types were lucky enough to attend.  I always wanted to go there but no such luck.  It was one of those free thinking schools where lessons weren't compulsory and the kids seemed to spend a lot of time in the gardens and on the farm.  In spite of that, most of them managed to get into university.  After I left home to work in the Lake District I also mixed with many free thinking arty people.  Can't honestly remember much rough behaviour at all but saw a fair bit of it in London and I just wasn't used to it.  Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

The school I mentioned doesn't exist anymore.  A real shame.  Just found some info about it.  https://kilquhanity.wordpress.com/about/

Edited by Toots

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Hi, I can totally relate - I came over in 2007 and I really don't think I've settled. I came over to be with my husband - but I have no family and have made no friends in this time. As you say, chatting is the easy part but I feel I can never get any further than that! I don't know what the answer is.....I've thought about going back many a time, but a lot has changed since I've left - I don't have the finances to be able to go over and "give it a go" and then return. I feel for you x

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On 30/07/2022 at 17:08, simmo said:

Looks a bit scary. 

It was rumoured to be haunted.  😱

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On 27/07/2022 at 19:41, Blue Flu said:

Were you TV addicted or something akin back in those days. We're a similar vintage. I've been going to Aussie pubs from age 16. Although it was a country town, (one of the bigger WA ones, it was rough) Easiest thing in the world was to get into a dust up. All I can say, is London seemed so civilized in comparison in the seventies. 

TV addicted? Well, in those days I stayed in during the week and got hammered on Friday and Saturday, mostly hanging out with other Pommies.

Now, this year in particular, I'm out every night mixing with Aussies and Kiwis, though with the odd Pommie. 

It's a subjective thing I know but I have never experienced undue unpleasantness anywhere in OZ. 

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On 28/07/2022 at 05:52, Marisawright said:

Seems to me you're comparing apples with oranges (country town vs London).  London seemed incredibly civilized in the seventies compared to my home town in Scotland

Simply how I found it regardless of size. Lived in Lincolnshire for first three months in a town not much bigger than OZ equivalent. There was an issue with drugs, but not the roughness of small city OZ. (I can include Perth in that) London the same. Very cool when a teenager in seventies London. Very cool indeed. 

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On 28/07/2022 at 08:46, Toots said:

I didn't consider London incredibly civilised in the 70s compared to my hometown.  I thought it was noisy, crowded and dirty.  That could be because I was brought up to accept all people no matter how different they were.  Most of the people in my hometown thought the same way though there were a few narrow minded folk around.  Lots of artists and hippy types around.  Nobody thought same sex people living together in a happy relationship was out of the ordinary and this is was going back to the 50s.  There was a (private) boarding school nearby where the children of actors and artistic types were lucky enough to attend.  I always wanted to go there but no such luck.  It was one of those free thinking schools where lessons weren't compulsory and the kids seemed to spend a lot of time in the gardens and on the farm.  In spite of that, most of them managed to get into university.  After I left home to work in the Lake District I also mixed with many free thinking arty people.  Can't honestly remember much rough behaviour at all but saw a fair bit of it in London and I just wasn't used to it.  Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

The school I mentioned doesn't exist anymore.  A real shame.  Just found some info about it.  https://kilquhanity.wordpress.com/about/

London was cool . It did scare a number of the provincials though. Never sure why. Yes it was crowed, dirty in parts , but very tolerant and open coming from Australia. There was a massive gay population in the area which was regarded as safe and home to all nationalities. The rougher parts of London rarely visited, at least until much later. It was so easy to live in a cosmopolitan bubble in West London. 

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On 01/08/2022 at 21:04, MARYROSE02 said:

TV addicted? Well, in those days I stayed in during the week and got hammered on Friday and Saturday, mostly hanging out with other Pommies.

Now, this year in particular, I'm out every night mixing with Aussies and Kiwis, though with the odd Pommie. 

It's a subjective thing I know but I have never experienced undue unpleasantness anywhere in OZ. 

Possibly staying in five nights a week ensured you avoided trouble. Very easy to find back in the day. 

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1 hour ago, Blue Flu said:

London was cool . It did scare a number of the provincials though. Never sure why. Yes it was crowed, dirty in parts , but very tolerant and open coming from Australia. There was a massive gay population in the area which was regarded as safe and home to all nationalities. The rougher parts of London rarely visited, at least until much later. It was so easy to live in a cosmopolitan bubble in West London. 

As I said - different strokes for different folks.  My sister was also what you would term as a "provincial"    ..............  brought up on a remote hill farm just like me but she loved London and lived very happily there for 40 years and now lives right in the middle of Edinburgh.  Needless to say we are chalk and cheese.  😉  All my oldest UK friends are also what you would call provincials and detest cities.  They live in the wilds of the Yorkshire Dales, Northumberland and Scotland.

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13 hours ago, Toots said:

As I said - different strokes for different folks.  My sister was also what you would term as a "provincial"    ..............  brought up on a remote hill farm just like me but she loved London and lived very happily there for 40 years and now lives right in the middle of Edinburgh.  Needless to say we are chalk and cheese.  😉  All my oldest UK friends are also what you would call provincials and detest cities.  They live in the wilds of the Yorkshire Dales, Northumberland and Scotland.

And I in Perth. A place never would have thought of returning to, nor anyone that knew me thought I would. Odd how life  can turn out. Although without the 'family' connection, most certainly would not have. 

But London is probably not well suited in the age. All I knew are out. Closest would be living in Watford. Rest in Ireland, Mainland EU, Melbourne and so on. Actually have looked at Northumberland as well as Norfolk as UK alternatives. 

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34 minutes ago, Blue Flu said:

And I in Perth. A place never would have thought of returning to, nor anyone that knew me thought I would. Odd how life  can turn out. Although without the 'family' connection, most certainly would not have. 

But London is probably not well suited in the age. All I knew are out. Closest would be living in Watford. Rest in Ireland, Mainland EU, Melbourne and so on. Actually have looked at Northumberland as well as Norfolk as UK alternatives. 

Northumberland and County Durham are lovely.  Spent a lot of time there when I was a child as we had relatives there.  I worked in Norfolk for 3 months and really liked it.  At the time I worked for a titled family on a large estate near Fakenham.  Great place to work but then moved on to work in France.

You're right   .................  odd how life can turn out.  Never in a million years did I think back then that I would spend my old age in Tasmania and be perfectly happy.  😀

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19 hours ago, Blue Flu said:

Possibly staying in five nights a week ensured you avoided trouble. Very easy to find back in the day. 

Going out 7 days a week should be leading me into more trouble although perhaps my senior status means the younger bloke are want to ignore me or I'm invisible to them as I am to the nightclub spruikers in Orchid Ave on Friday and Saturday nights.

Edited by MARYROSE02

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17 hours ago, Toots said:

As I said - different strokes for different folks.  My sister was also what you would term as a "provincial"    ..............  brought up on a remote hill farm just like me but she loved London and lived very happily there for 40 years and now lives right in the middle of Edinburgh.  Needless to say we are chalk and cheese.  😉  All my oldest UK friends are also what you would call provincials and detest cities.  They live in the wilds of the Yorkshire Dales, Northumberland and Scotland.

I suppose I am "provincial" though "yokel" might be more apt because I always lived in villages in England and always in cities in Australia. For my first visit to Tottenham I went to Tottenham Court Road looking for White Hart Lane.

The odd thing is that I've lived my life in Australian cities as if I'm living in a village, limiting myself to walking distance from my home. In Sydney, the only times I went further than (easy) walking distance was to beaches like Bronte and Clovelly, both 7 kilometres from Surry Hills. The CBD was a 30 minute walk, maybe 20 to Town Hall or Hyde Park.

It's the same here in Surfers where I rarely go further than Main Beach, Northcliffe or Chevron Island, all being walkable.

Perhaps what "provincials" miss when they live in "Gotham" is being walking distance from the countryside. That's the only thing I miss about England and beaches are a kind of substitute.

I don't know what I would have done had I lived in London. I remember walking around Southwark and thinking "I could live here." 

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1 hour ago, MARYROSE02 said:

I remember walking around Southwark and thinking "I could live here." 

Is there anywhere you've ever visited where you haven't thought, "I could live here"?


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband granted UK spouse visa March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

My new novel, A Dance With Danger, is due out August 2022

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On 23/06/2022 at 03:48, Blanca Teresa said:

Hi,

I'll try and keep this short and sweet. I've lived in both Perth and now Sydney over 7.5 years and am from the UK originally. I just can't get used to this place. I've made a few friends in both places, usually other Europeans. I'm not sure why but I really struggle, and I mean, struggle with getting to know Australians. I find them hard to chat to, hard to understand, hard to get a grasp of what they're talking about. In Perth when I first moved there it was as if people were talking a foreign language. The subject matter, the tone of voice, I just couldn't grasp it. Now years later i've become used to just living in my own little bubble. I find Sydney is probably even harder to get chatting to people as they don't seem interested or have nothing to say/aren't able to shoot the breeze. I miss home badly, that has never gone away. I tried moving back twice and with a family we have to keep choosing what is best financially for us but honestly I wonder sometimes what this is doing to us. My partner seems miserable, hasn't made a good friend in Sydney at all. He works and that's it. How do you come to terms with this life that doesn't 'fit' with you. It doesn't offer me what I need and yet it gives us a better standard of living. I miss my family, my friends and culture back home. I'm totally stuck and just don't see a way out. I know I shouldn't be here. My partner and I aren't even really talking anymore as there's nothing to say. We both had social lives back home and since being here it has dwindled to nothing. I have a health condition as well which also doesn't help as I used to get out and dance but can't at the moment. Anyway, sorry to ramble! I wondered who can relate to these feelings??

Thanks.

I just had a nose around and found https://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/19-socialising-hobbies-clubs-sport/

You might be able to connect with some sociable people on there.

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