Still here and still feel the pull

[ramot]

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

No.  You'll have to find a GP that 'bulk bills", then you'll pay nothing for GP visits or tests.  You'll have to make sure to let your GP know that you want to be treated in the public system for everything, so he doesn't refer you to a private specialist.  Yes you will pay for medicines (it's $5.60 per item if you qualify for a Seniors health card, which you will).  

The fact is, the public health system in Australia is much the same as the NHS.  If you don't want to see a private specialist, you just have to wait for a public one and that might mean a long wait, but it's no worse than the wait you'd have in the UK.  Australians are so used to having private health insurance, they're horrified at the idea of waiting, but it's only because we're all used to paying up and it's made us a bit spoiled. 

My husband doesn't have private health insurance.  He has decided to pay for a couple of small procedures because he didn't want to wait, but he could have done the same in the UK.  My friend's dad doesn't have private health insurance (he's 85) and just relies on the public system.  He needed a spinal fusion and it didn't cost him a cent.

I don't know how benefits work if you're disabled or elderly and need support to live at home.  Maybe someone else can help with that.

Marisa we don’t qualify for a seniors health card apparently, so it’s not automatic. We pay the PBS rate until we meet the safety net, they then cost $6.80 until the end of the year. Would like be great if we were eligible for the seniors health card.

[Nanna]

Hi Ramot   why don't you qualify for that card?

[Nanna]

And is a reverse mortgage to release equity from your house a common practice and safe?

[Marisawright]

7 hours ago, Nanna said:

And is a reverse mortgage to release equity from your house a common practice and safe?

They exist but no, I wouldn't say they are common practice. I wouldn't say they are "safe".  Not because you'll get conned, but because most of them are not good value for money.  You have to give away a lot of your home in exchange for a fairly small amount of money. 

[Marisawright]

8 hours ago, Nanna said:

Hi Ramot   why don't you qualify for that card?

It's means-tested, so it's probably because Ramot has too much income.  You are so worried about your financial situation, I'm assuming that won't be the case for you.

Here's the eligibility criteria. Notice that you have to be living in Australia for two years before you're eligible:

To qualify for the Commonwealth Seniors Health Card a person must:

• have reached the qualifying age for Age Pension;
• be an Australian citizen, a holder of a permanent visa, or a Special Category Visa holder and have been in Australia for a period of, or periods totalling 104 weeks;
• reside in Australia;
• not be receiving a social security pension or benefit;
• meet the requirements of an annual income test.

A person is not required to undergo an assets test to qualify for the Commonwealth Seniors Health Card.

[Loopylu]

11 hours ago, Nanna said:

Thank you for that.  

 

An example :  dialysis at home etc.  Not that we need anything but we are all getting older - does stuff like that have to be paid for if you have no health insurance? Any ideas? 

My husband is on dialysis and does home haemodialysis. All of the equipment, home alterations are provided and paid for by Medicare. However certain drugs included in the infusion (heparin, iron) are prescription items and the patient pays. If you do home dialysis then you get some financial support towards water and electricity bill but it does not cover full additional cost. If you go to a dialysis hub to dialyse then no additional costs. You save Medicare about $20k a year doing home dialysis but you have out of pocket costs and subsidise Medicare in order to have the convenience of not having to go to a dialysis unit at a set time for 4-5 hours 3 times a week and sit next to some random stranger….

[Nanna]

Thank you Loopylu.  So in each year what is the total cost to you?

 

I font think we will qualify for discount cards as our capital would still he in the bank and altho worryingly not enough to give us a great lifestyle itcwould probably be too much to qualify.

But does that also apply to eligibility for a PBS card?

[Marisawright]

54 minutes ago, Nanna said:

I font think we will qualify for discount cards as our capital would still he in the bank and altho worryingly not enough to give us a great lifestyle itcwould probably be too much to qualify.

That's not correct.  The discount card is granted based on income, not on assets.  

Once the two years are up and you're in your own home, if you STILL can't qualify for a Seniors Health Card then you must have plenty of money and you've got nothing to worry about.  If you think otherwise, then you must be expecting to live an extravagant lifestyle.  

There's no such thing as a PBS card.  If you have a Medicare card (which you will, being a permanent resident) then you'll automatically get your medicines at the PBS rate (and eventually, when you get your Seniors card, at the seniors rate).  There is a thing called a PBS Safety Net which you can apply for once you've spent more than $1,400 on medicines in a year, then you can get the lower rate.

Edited August 5, 2022 by Marisawright

[ramot]

42 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

That's not correct.  The discount card is granted based on income, not on assets.  

Once the two years are up and you're in your own home, if you STILL can't qualify for a Seniors Health Card then you must have plenty of money and you've got nothing to worry about.  If you think otherwise, then you must be expecting to live an extravagant lifestyle.  

There's no such thing as a PBS card.  If you have a Medicare card (which you will, being a permanent resident) then you'll automatically get your medicines at the PBS rate (and eventually, when you get your Seniors card, at the seniors rate).  There is a thing called a PBS Safety Net which you can apply for once you've spent more than $1,400 on medicines in a year, then you can get the lower rate.

,the safety net is combined amount of your prescriptions with your spouse, so if you both have what I call fairly ‘normal’ age health conditions, it’s very likely you will get your prescriptions at the $6.80 per script for part of the year.

[Loopylu]

On 05/08/2022 at 18:26, Marisawright said:

That's not correct.  The discount card is granted based on income, not on assets.  

Once the two years are up and you're in your own home, if you STILL can't qualify for a Seniors Health Card then you must have plenty of money and you've got nothing to worry about.  If you think otherwise, then you must be expecting to live an extravagant lifestyle.  

There's no such thing as a PBS card.  If you have a Medicare card (which you will, being a permanent resident) then you'll automatically get your medicines at the PBS rate (and eventually, when you get your Seniors card, at the seniors rate).  There is a thing called a PBS Safety Net which you can apply for once you've spent more than $1,400 on medicines in a year, then you can get the lower rate.

With the PBS safety net, it is easiest to manage your entitlement if you both go to the same chemist as they will keep a record of all your expenditure and, if you hit the $1400 threshold, they will apply the lower rate charge for all subsequent medication for the calendar year. This is not something that is advertised and we probably missed out on the PBS for several years before we cottoned on to how the system works.  

[Nanna]

We have had a medicare card since we lived there in the 80s and the latest updated one doesn't expire for a couple of years so hopefully we will immediately qualify for all senior benefits and cards. (???)  It just never got cancelled when we returned to the UK in the 80s even tho we told them that. Bonus!

However the cost of living in Australia, food prices etc now compared to the UK,  and the cost of all lovely houses on that coastline are so high it is still so very worrying to the point of anxiety.

  To have to get paid work from my son to assist with the household bills at 70 years of age is ridiculous .   Ironically if we didnt need that extra cash we would gladly help him anyway but its better to do it by choice than necessity. So watch this space cos my husband thinks we may need to rethink it all which breaks my .  He can handle that but I'm not sure I can. 

Only seeing my kids on the occasional holiday is not ideal for sensitive me but nor is living in a property we dislike. When we are not with the family we have to create our own lives and therefore need to be happy on all counts. This is all so sad and each of the two choices (Australia or UK) could be wrong and either would be a  permanent choice.  I can't easily handle losing that opportunity and not be with them. 

The cost to even try it for a period is so financially  high and then to maybe have to admit its not right and have to return to the UK and buy another home we wouldn't  really like is not something I want to consider.  We did consider just coming in and renting to see if we were happy . We thought we could sell our UK home from there - until the tax office informed us that as non UK residents we would pay capital gains at 40%. 

We have considered all angles and it's either 

1.  We sell this seaside home in a brilliant location and compromise ourselves on every level in Australia 

or

2.  We stay here and only see our total family in person a few more times.

Neither situation is good. So nothings changed since I joined thus forum except to say MONDAY is deadline to sign our home away.  So it's crucial to get it right.

Anyway on the advice of my gp I have a private counselling session booked tomorrow (Friday) to try and clear my "blinkered" thoughts.  Personally I don't see how they can help but maybe its worth a shot! 

 

 

[Nanna]

Well the counselling session turned out to be a useless waste of £250.  She was highly qualified on anxiety, ocd (which i apparently have as im obsessed with my kids) and depression but all she kept saying is i need to make the decision.   Oh PLEASE! £250 to be told what i already knew!! Do you think i dont know that!!!

But i dont know which way to go.

 

  I love my house here, my life, my friends, my financial and medical comforts, travelling in a motorhome, cruising BUT IM NOT WITH MY KIDS!!! And I hate the cold. Food is so cheap here compared to Australia . We spend equivalent of $200 including alcohol a week and eat like king and queen.  Distances are not huge. Travel is easy. Im near London, Europe and the whole world BUT .......

or i fly there, live in a suburb i wouldnt choose to live in and not near the sea,   live in a house costing more than my beautiful home everyone wants, in one there that no way compares to my sea front home here ,   medical and  financial issues, nowhere different to travel to due to money issues and not affording a motorhome (and ive already travelled Perth thru the Nullabor to Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney and all thru to Cairns) having to work part time to pay bills, not too many friends there close by , BUT  THE ONE BONUS - I HAVE MY KIDS AND GRANDKIDS.

 

This is hell on earth for me and my heart breaks each way. I ended up in A and E with an anxiety attack and had to be sedated.  Thats not good.  

My son, bless him, says we are to choose which lifestyle is right for us and he will love us whatever we choose and try and meet up each year somewhere -  but i want both.   I sound like a spoilt brat and i can assure you that never was the case as a child - quite the opposite due to money issues and an absent father - but maybe thats why i cant let go easily here. I have everything but no KIDS OR GRANDKIDS. Thankfully i have a wonderful Hubby but even he is stuck on this one.

Tuesday is now final decision day and whats most difficult is i want to be there when im old but want freedom and movement now while i can.  Again i cant have both.  I know many in the world would love this dilemma/choice but i wish i didnt have it.  

Anyway enough of my ranting and back to the wine.  We have just eaten a supermarket takeway $14 for 2 people and its always gorgeous  and wine for $5.   

Wishing you all a happy life.

Edited August 26, 2022 by Nanna
Typo errors

[NickyNook]

It’s clear that you’re not ready or happy to give up your current life so stay where you are.

Catch up with your family during the UK winters.

[Blue Flu]

On 27/08/2022 at 02:53, Nanna said:

Well the counselling session turned out to be a useless waste of £250.  She was highly qualified on anxiety, ocd (which i apparently have as im obsessed with my kids) and depression but all she kept saying is i need to make the decision.   Oh PLEASE! £250 to be told what i already knew!! Do you think i dont know that!!!

But i dont know which way to go.

 

  I love my house here, my life, my friends, my financial and medical comforts, travelling in a motorhome, cruising BUT IM NOT WITH MY KIDS!!! And I hate the cold. Food is so cheap here compared to Australia . We spend equivalent of $200 including alcohol a week and eat like king and queen.  Distances are not huge. Travel is easy. Im near London, Europe and the whole world BUT .......

or i fly there, live in a suburb i wouldnt choose to live in and not near the sea,   live in a house costing more than my beautiful home everyone wants, in one there that no way compares to my sea front home here ,   medical and  financial issues, nowhere different to travel to due to money issues and not affording a motorhome (and ive already travelled Perth thru the Nullabor to Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney and all thru to Cairns) having to work part time to pay bills, not too many friends there close by , BUT  THE ONE BONUS - I HAVE MY KIDS AND GRANDKIDS.

 

This is hell on earth for me and my heart breaks each way. I ended up in A and E with an anxiety attack and had to be sedated.  Thats not good.  

My son, bless him, says we are to choose which lifestyle is right for us and he will love us whatever we choose and try and meet up each year somewhere -  but i want both.   I sound like a spoilt brat and i can assure you that never was the case as a child - quite the opposite due to money issues and an absent father - but maybe thats why i cant let go easily here. I have everything but no KIDS OR GRANDKIDS. Thankfully i have a wonderful Hubby but even he is stuck on this one.

Tuesday is now final decision day and whats most difficult is i want to be there when im old but want freedom and movement now while i can.  Again i cant have both.  I know many in the world would love this dilemma/choice but i wish i didnt have it.  

Anyway enough of my ranting and back to the wine.  We have just eaten a supermarket takeway $14 for 2 people and its always gorgeous  and wine for $5.   

Wishing you all a happy life.

Sorry but I'm not sure just what you expect a councilor to say. I would advise much the same. The decision can only be made by you. No magic bullet/wand will remove that, I'm afraid. Probably the tyranny of having choice. 

I know which way I'd go, but that won't help you. I hope you arrive at a decision, that is truely of your making and stand by that. Anything else will only continue the extreme emotional stress that you are presently encountering. Good Luck. 

[tea4too]

Nana, Blu Flu is right, it is ultimately a decision you have to make for yourself. There are books and experts galore with advice on coping mechanisms, decision making strategies, methods for prioritising what is important ...but no-one can guarantee what will actually make us happiest in the longer term. Big decisions usually carry an element of risk but there comes a time when we have to cross fingers and jump, or stay put which in itself can present different risks.

Accepting outcomes on the basis of 'it is what it is' together with a determination to celebrate the positives while managing or accepting the negatives could be key. But whatever you decide at some point you will move on, hopefully with peace of mind for knowing the decision is made. Who knows, you may discover that the indecision and anxiety was far worse than the reality of what you end up dealing with irrespective of where you finally settle. Take care and good luck, T x 

[Marisawright]

On 27/08/2022 at 04:53, Nanna said:

Well the counselling session turned out to be a useless waste of £250.  She was highly qualified on anxiety, ocd (which i apparently have as im obsessed with my kids) and depression but all she kept saying is i need to make the decision.   Oh PLEASE! £250 to be told what i already knew!! Do you think i dont know that!!!

@Nanna, of course she said that.  Counsellors never make the decision for you.  What she SHOULD have done was help you sort out your options, make sure it's all clear in your mind, and help you develop a calmer attitude so you can look at your options dispassionately.

From your posts, it sounds like she did help you do the first two things.  That post sets out your situation in a much clearer way than any of your other posts to date. That might not sound like much but it is progress. Where she failed, is in getting you to look at things more calmly.  That would take several sessions to achieve, because it would require treating your underlying conditions, whatever they may be.

@Quoll, maybe you know -- isn't it possible to access a counsellor in the UK under the NHS?  £250 sounds like a ridiculous amount for one consultation.

[Jon the Hat]

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

 

@Quoll, maybe you know -- isn't it possible to access a counsellor in the UK under the NHS?  £250 sounds like a ridiculous amount for one consultation.

It is of course, but not very quickly.  It was usually a couple of months at least prior to Covid, no doubt longer now.  Initial consultations are usually more, I suspect more like 150 per session after that.

[Nanna]

The waiting list is endless and probably for far more serious reasons than mine - although to me mine obviously feels very serious and I'm in a dark place.  However, does anyone live in the Tweed area know of any community suburbs with beautiful parks and near the sea that don't cost the earth and aren't full of old properties or high rise ?

[Marisawright]

46 minutes ago, Nanna said:

The waiting list is endless and probably for far more serious reasons than mine - although to me mine obviously feels very serious and I'm in a dark place.  However, does anyone live in the Tweed area know of any community suburbs with beautiful parks and near the sea that don't cost the earth and aren't full of old properties or high rise ?

What's your definition of 'not costing the earth'?

[Nanna]

No more than $1.5m. With no body corp and not an apartment.   

[calNgary]

1 hour ago, Nanna said:

The waiting list is endless and probably for far more serious reasons than mine - although to me mine obviously feels very serious and I'm in a dark place.  However, does anyone live in the Tweed area know of any community suburbs with beautiful parks and near the sea that don't cost the earth and aren't full of old properties or high rise ?

Potsville, Kingscliffe, Hastings Point, Cabarita Beach, Coolangatta, Currumbin, Murwillumba (further inland from coast), Talebudgera (again a bit further inland) are all lovely places. There are a few high rises in the popular coastal area like Coolangatta but not KM'S and KMs of them like you may expect in touristy areas.

I havent looked at REalestate.com or Domain for property costs, sorry.

   Cal x

[Nanna]

Nice quote.  Anyone any ideas on weekly food prices for  a very energetic couple?  

[Marisawright]

13 hours ago, Nanna said:

No more than $1.5m. With no body corp and not an apartment.   

I can understand you don't care for living in an apartment.  However, why no body corp?  Yes, it's an extra expense, but the property itself (a townhouse) will be cheaper to buy.  

Also if you have a body corp, that means you're paying someone else to do all the maintenance your home. That will be a big advantage when you're too old to do your own maintenance.  The body corp also includes your building insurance, so there's a saving.  It's true that some of the body corps in Queensland are a bit of a rort, but provided you're alert to that, having a body corp is something many pensioners actively look for, because they know they'll get too old to look after their own home eventually.

By the way, have you looked at retirement villages?  I don't mean retirement homes, that's a different thing.  Retirement villages are for independent, younger retirees.

Edited August 29, 2022 by Marisawright

[Marisawright]

11 hours ago, Nanna said:

Nice quote.  Anyone any ideas on weekly food prices for  a very energetic couple?  

You can work this out for yourself.  Go to Coles.com.au or Woolworths.com.au and use the Online Shopping.   Obviously you'll just add everything to the cart and then look at the total.  There's no risk, you can't accidentally buy anything unless you give them your credit card details.

[Nanna]

Thank you.  I ghave tried, unsuccessfully  most of the time as Coles says it picks  up I'm not in Australia so access is denied.

 

And Woolworths does not give prices of everything only where their products are sourced.