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Jess377383

Stuck between 2 countries & its ruining my soul

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I’m feeling really stuck between Aus and the UK... I absolutely love the lifestyle here in Australia but I miss my friends & family back in the UK so much. 

I’m worried we will go back to the UK and hate the lifestyle, I’ve got so used to the sun, swimming in the ocean, the expansive countryside etc etc. BUT I’m terrified of staying here too because I’m missing out on valuable time with my parents who won’t be here forever! I’m also tired of missing birthdays, christmasy, weddings etc back home with the people I care about most. 

I’m also 30 and at the age where I’d really like to be thinking about buying a house, kids, blah blah. And feel like we can’t possibly embark on that journey until we have committed to a country. 

My partner and I are currently on PR and can apply for citizenship in February but we have told our family we will be home for good for Christmas which I want to be but I also want Australian citizenship. I’m aware that whilst Febuary is not far away the citizenship process is a 12 month + ordeal and feel like with covid I can’t be away from home much longer - the guilt is killing me. 

A bit of a brain splat but does anyone have any words of wisdom? Should we stay or should we go?

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7 minutes ago, Jess377383 said:

I’m feeling really stuck between Aus and the UK... I absolutely love the lifestyle here in Australia but I miss my friends & family back in the UK so much. 

I’m worried we will go back to the UK and hate the lifestyle, I’ve got so used to the sun, swimming in the ocean, the expansive countryside etc etc. BUT I’m terrified of staying here too because I’m missing out on valuable time with my parents who won’t be here forever! I’m also tired of missing birthdays, christmasy, weddings etc back home with the people I care about most. 

I’m also 30 and at the age where I’d really like to be thinking about buying a house, kids, blah blah. And feel like we can’t possibly embark on that journey until we have committed to a country. 

My partner and I are currently on PR and can apply for citizenship in February but we have told our family we will be home for good for Christmas which I want to be but I also want Australian citizenship. I’m aware that whilst Febuary is not far away the citizenship process is a 12 month + ordeal and feel like with covid I can’t be away from home much longer - the guilt is killing me. 

A bit of a brain splat but does anyone have any words of wisdom? Should we stay or should we go?

You have to make up your own minds, no one can or should  do that for you, but it makes sense to get citizenship before you leave. As a parent with grownup children my attitude is it’s their life  to live their lives where ever they want to.

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If going home is really what you want, then go. Make sure you have a valid RRV first though, so you have a few years to change your mind. 

However do ask yourself whether it’s genuinely what you want or just guilt talking 

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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As you are not sure what you want to do and you are still relatively young i would not go anywhere until you have citizenship. This gives you a lot more flexibility in the future without jumping through hoops. It also seems like you have a pretty good boss /job so be wary of throwing that away.

 Maybe once you have citizenship ,have a trip back. You do quite often read how people who miss friends etc go back to find their friends have moved on and its harder to slot back into the life you had. I think you do need that trip back to decide where you want to settle.

Lots of luck with everything

  Cal x

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If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place...

If you get a chance,take it, If it changes your life,let it. Nobody said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it...

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4 hours ago, Jess377383 said:

I’m feeling really stuck between Aus and the UK... I absolutely love the lifestyle here in Australia but I miss my friends & family back in the UK so much. 

I’m worried we will go back to the UK and hate the lifestyle, I’ve got so used to the sun, swimming in the ocean, the expansive countryside etc etc. BUT I’m terrified of staying here too because I’m missing out on valuable time with my parents who won’t be here forever! I’m also tired of missing birthdays, christmasy, weddings etc back home with the people I care about most. 

I’m also 30 and at the age where I’d really like to be thinking about buying a house, kids, blah blah. And feel like we can’t possibly embark on that journey until we have committed to a country. 

My partner and I are currently on PR and can apply for citizenship in February but we have told our family we will be home for good for Christmas which I want to be but I also want Australian citizenship. I’m aware that whilst Febuary is not far away the citizenship process is a 12 month + ordeal and feel like with covid I can’t be away from home much longer - the guilt is killing me. 

A bit of a brain splat but does anyone have any words of wisdom? Should we stay or should we go?

If you don’t mind me asking, what is it that’s making you feel guilty and how is it connected to Covid? 

For some, missing home is a very deep and strong desire to live in the place they grew up. But I think sometimes when we miss home it can also be nostalgia for the past rather than missing the way things are now. Closed borders can contribute to homesickness as we know we can’t jump on a plane whenever we need to, and not having a choice somehow makes it worse. Even I have felt homesick recently and I couldn’t get out of Scotland quick enough after returning a few years ago.

If I was in your shoes I would consider hanging on for citizenship and take a long holiday to the UK whenever that becomes possible in 2022. Spend long enough to get past the holiday phase and into the period where people stop dropping everything to see you and go back to normal life. When it drifts into the normal Monday to Friday 9-5, the 2 weeks holiday is over and friends and family resume their lives, that’s when you start to get a feel for what real life might be like living back in the UK for you. 

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:evilface_frowning_s

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You are young enough to hang about and get citizenship then up sticks and move, safe in the knowledge that if it works you win and if it doesnt you can return to Australia. Think about moving somewhere in UK where you can do the coast thing.  The countryside can be interesting and vast, depending on where you move back to and you really are spoiled for variety and choice.  Much as I dislike Australia, I wouldnt be leaving after getting so close to getting citizenship, I'm a belt and braces kinda gal.  Put a date on it and it will all seem so much more manageable

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On 04/05/2021 at 17:14, Quoll said:

You are young enough to hang about and get citizenship then up sticks and move, safe in the knowledge that if it works you win and if it doesnt you can return to Australia. Think about moving somewhere in UK where you can do the coast thing.  The countryside can be interesting and vast, depending on where you move back to and you really are spoiled for variety and choice.  Much as I dislike Australia, I wouldnt be leaving after getting so close to getting citizenship, I'm a belt and braces kinda gal.  Put a date on it and it will all seem so much more manageable

Interesting to say the least. I would have thought that if Brits, or anyone else for that matter, coming to Australia, then the most logical goal would be to become an Australian and to live in in Australia as an Australian. I must be missing something.  You say:

"Much as I dislike Australia, I wouldnt be leaving after getting so close to getting citizenship"

 Does that mean... I want Australian citizenship but I do not want to be an Australian. How does that work? 

Edited by Dusty Plains

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