Relationship break up and moving back home...

[Agz15]

Any one come out to Aus with a partner, broken up and considering/went back home after?

 

Although I still have a great life, job, friends here, I do feel very alone as I have no family and no longer have that close person.

 

Would be great to hear advice and opinions, the pull to go home is really strong now.

[Marisawright]

23 minutes ago, Agz15 said:

Any one come out to Aus with a partner, broken up and considering/went back home after?

Although I still have a great life, job, friends here, I do feel very alone as I have no family and no longer have that close person.

Lots and lots of people.  The great thing is you are a free agent with no real ties, so you can go or stay and don't have to ask anyone's permission.

One thing to consider is:  do you have citizenship yet?  If not, it's worth sticking it out until you've got it.  If you leave with just a PR visa and eventually decide you want to return, you might find you can't (because you've been away too long, your RRV is no longer valid and they wont give you another one). It would be a real shame, after all the effort to get a visa, to let that happen.

On the other hand, if the thought of hanging on until you get  citizenship makes your heart sink to your boots, you have your answer - home is more important.

[Agz15]

2 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

Lots and lots of people.  The great thing is you are a free agent with no real ties, so you can go or stay and don't have to ask anyone's permission.

One thing to consider is:  do you have citizenship yet?  If not, it's worth sticking it out until you've got it.  If you leave with just a PR visa and eventually decide you want to return, you might find you can't (because you've been away too long, your RRV is no longer valid and they wont give you another one). It would be a real shame, after all the effort to get a visa, to let that happen.

On the other hand, if the thought of hanging on until you get  citizenship makes your heart sink to your boots, you have your answer - home is more important.

Thank you for the wise words! Where can I find this broken hearted club haha

I have citizenship pending and should be granted pretty soon so yes will definitely hold out for that.........also not sure the UK is the best place to be at the moment for jobs/freedom (due to COVID) so would be stupid to make a knee jerk decision.

thinking of perhaps doing another city for a few years and seeing how I feel then.

just feels super lonely right now :(

 

[Marisawright]

41 minutes ago, Agz15 said:

not sure the UK is the best place to be at the moment for jobs/freedom (due to COVID) so would be stupid to make a knee jerk decision.

thinking of perhaps doing another city for a few years and seeing how I feel then.

just feels super lonely right now

 

Things are improving fast in the UK thanks to their excellent vaccine rollout.   

Consider that at least you have friends in your current Australian city, so wouldn't you feel even more lonely somewhere else?  Which city are you in now?    I love big-city living, but it does tend to be harder to make new friends in large cities.  If work would allow, you might be better off trying somewhere smaller if you want to stay in Oz for a while.

[Agz15]

13 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

Things are improving fast in the UK thanks to their excellent vaccine rollout.   

Consider that at least you have friends in your current Australian city, so wouldn't you feel even more lonely somewhere else?  Which city are you in now?    I love big-city living, but it does tend to be harder to make new friends in large cities.  If work would allow, you might be better off trying somewhere smaller if you want to stay in Oz for a while.

Yes true, but also feel like I need a little change. Sydney has been good to me...but Melbourne would be my next stop if anything

[Paul1Perth]

1 hour ago, Agz15 said:

Any one come out to Aus with a partner, broken up and considering/went back home after?

 

Although I still have a great life, job, friends here, I do feel very alone as I have no family and no longer have that close person.

 

Would be great to hear advice and opinions, the pull to go home is really strong now.

Seeing as you still feel it's "home" you may as well go and give it a try.

[Marisawright]

6 hours ago, Agz15 said:

Yes true, but also feel like I need a little change. Sydney has been good to me...but Melbourne would be my next stop if anything

I'm living in Melbourne now, having spent 30+ years in Sydney.  It's a totally different vibe. It almost doesn't feel like Australia.   Though it doesn't feel like the UK either.  More like some European cities, perhaps.  The main thing is that the weather is highly unpredictable as well as cold in winter, and also that the decent beaches are much further from the city.  So people are much less focussed on the beach or outdoor activities (unless it's outdoor cafes, LOL).   

[Red Rose]

Big punt moving to another Australian city by yourself where you don't know anyone. Playing devils advocate I would have thought that would be the worst thing you could do in your shoes. You feel lonely and the pull of the UK but want to gamble a few years of your life in Melbourne in the hope you will invent a new life for yourself with a new job, friends and a relationship. If I was you I'd rather give Sydney till the end of.the year (where you have friends and a good.job) and see how the dating scene goes, rather than upheaving your life to Melbourne for the sake of it. By end of 2021 you will have your citizenship and will definitely know if you want to come back to Blighty by then. 

[Canada2Australia]

On 13/03/2021 at 15:22, Marisawright said:

I love big-city living, but it does tend to be harder to make new friends in large cities.  If work would allow, you might be better off trying somewhere smaller if you want to stay in Oz for a while.

And see, I've had the exact opposite opinion. I grew up and lived in large major cities back home, and even as an introverted person, didn't have any dramas in meeting good friends.

But having only lived in smaller cities in this country, I've found it terribly difficult to crack into social circles and meet close friends.  I find people in the smaller cities here are less inclinded to truly welcome in 'outsiders', because in these smaller cities the populations are far more transient being more resourced-based boom-bust economies, leading 'locals' to not really invest in newer people coming into the community. It's what I expected to be honest because that small-town mentality is no different here than it is back home. 

I'm not saying it's impossible to make good friends in smaller towns. I have made two good friends........in five years. It's takes longer but can be done. However, I still feel people have a better shot at making more good friends sooner in the larger cities where there are simply more people to choose from. It really is a numbers game in the end.

 

[Marisawright]

40 minutes ago, Canada2Australia said:

....having only lived in smaller cities in this country, I've found it terribly difficult to crack into social circles and meet close friends.  I find people in the smaller cities here are less inclinded to truly welcome in 'outsiders', because in these smaller cities the populations are far more transient being more resourced-based boom-bust economies,

 

Not all small cities in Australia are resource-based economies.   

I think it depends on age and interests too.  If you play any kind of sport at a reasonable level, it helps.

[Canada2Australia]

8 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Not all small cities in Australia are resource-based economies.   

I think it depends on age and interests too.  If you play any kind of sport at a reasonable level, it helps.

I guess I was specifically referring to QLD and the NT, where they definately are.

[Nyxkat]

Things may appear to be moving fast here but they really are not. Yes the vaccine rollout is excellent. The rest of it is a total cluster fudge. It's been one awful decision after another and things are still opening up too early IMO.  Also they've been letting people travel to the UK this whole time pretty much only deciding to restrict certain arrivals after 8 months of covid. Don't get me wrong I'm definitely amazed at the vaccine rollout it has been impressive. Though even the vaccine rollout has had its issues. Currently there's potential links to blood clotting in certain brands which is extremely rare but is worrying enough people to cause low key chaos at hospitals with people showing up with mild symptoms because they're scared. And then there'd the holdups of transporting the vaccines due to brexit and the petty arguments that have stemmed over that.

We are far from okay here. Please send caramello koalas and corn jacks.

On the subject of the actual post, agz15 I'm sorry you're going through that. I would definitely wait till you have citizenship before doing anything. Maybe you can go back fir a holiday/extended visit when it is safer to and see how you feel after returning? (Don't go rn, returning is super difficult). If you feel like you need a change you could move to a slightly different area, say the next suburb over, rather than a whole new city. The urge to want to avoid certain places goes away after a while and feelings will settle.

[Paul1Perth]

Yep. All the rest of our families are in the UK. I have a feeling they'll be booking holidays to Spain, Portugal, Greece or somewhere as soon as they can. 

I speak to my Sister often and she's been "sort of" isolating, when it suited her. Popping round to see my nieces and kids when she shouldn't have been. They live near Melton Mowbray, not many cases and been lucky though.

As soon as the pubs are open prepare for a third wave.

[newjez]

29 minutes ago, Paul1Perth said:

Yep. All the rest of our families are in the UK. I have a feeling they'll be booking holidays to Spain, Portugal, Greece or somewhere as soon as they can. 

I speak to my Sister often and she's been "sort of" isolating, when it suited her. Popping round to see my nieces and kids when she shouldn't have been. They live near Melton Mowbray, not many cases and been lucky though.

As soon as the pubs are open prepare for a third wave.

I really hope not.

The numbers are looking really good.

[Nyxkat]

16 hours ago, Paul1Perth said:

Yep. All the rest of our families are in the UK. I have a feeling they'll be booking holidays to Spain, Portugal, Greece or somewhere as soon as they can. 

I speak to my Sister often and she's been "sort of" isolating, when it suited her. Popping round to see my nieces and kids when she shouldn't have been. They live near Melton Mowbray, not many cases and been lucky though.

As soon as the pubs are open prepare for a third wave.

Was the first day of madness today. My shop opened so I was there managing the queue today. There were tens of thousands of people out today of not more. The queue for my charity shop wasn't too bad, between 4 and 12 people long, but no one was bothered about distancing. People queueing for primark were all scrunched up together too and that queue was over a mile long today. It went up the high street to the park and zig zagged around for a while o.0

There were people drinking outside pubs at 9am. It's going to be hard keeping those numbers good when people are behaving so badly.

Edited April 12, 2021 by Nyxkat
edited to change autocorrect

[MacGyver]

7 hours ago, Nyxkat said:

Was the first day of madness today. My shop opened so I was there managing the queue today. There were tens of thousands of people out today of not more. The queue for my charity shop wasn't too bad, between 4 and 12 people long, but no one was bothered about distancing. People queueing for primark were all scrunched up together too and that queue was over a mile long today. It went up the high street to the park and zig zagged around for a while o.0

There were people drinking outside pubs at 9am. It's going to be hard keeping those numbers good when people are behaving so badly.

Some of the scenes in Soho were worrying as it looked very busy and congested with people drinking

[newjez]

1 hour ago, MacGyver said:

Some of the scenes in Soho were worrying as it looked very busy and congested with people drinking

We may see higher cases, but hopefully hospital numbers and deaths will continue to fall.

The UK is a vaccine testing ground. None of us really know how this will work.

[s713]

I went out to Liverpool yesterday, it was like VE day!!! Best day in years.

It's a given the rate of infection is going to jump, it's keeping people out of hospital that's the trick. That's why all the appropriate groups were vaccinated first. If the vaccine is up to scratch, shouldn't be an issue. If it becomes an issue, it means the vaccine is ineffective or there's another new variant and that's a whole new ballgame then.

[Jon the Hat]

On 12/04/2021 at 02:58, Paul1Perth said:

Yep. All the rest of our families are in the UK. I have a feeling they'll be booking holidays to Spain, Portugal, Greece or somewhere as soon as they can. 

I speak to my Sister often and she's been "sort of" isolating, when it suited her. Popping round to see my nieces and kids when she shouldn't have been. They live near Melton Mowbray, not many cases and been lucky though.

As soon as the pubs are open prepare for a third wave.

They said that about the schools.  No third wave.

[Jon the Hat]

8 hours ago, newjez said:

We may see higher cases, but hopefully hospital numbers and deaths will continue to fall.

The UK is a vaccine testing ground. None of us really know how this will work.

Oh we will see higher cases, because they are going to offer everyone in the county 2 free tests a week.  Millions will go for it I am sure.  Hospitalisation is the only valuable measure now.

[Jon the Hat]

10 hours ago, MacGyver said:

Some of the scenes in Soho were worrying as it looked very busy and congested with people drinking

Wonderful to see!  Young people mainly, who are at very low risk, and whose at risk loved ones have now been vaccinated!   What are you worrying about exactly?

[newjez]

4 minutes ago, Jon the Hat said:

Oh we will see higher cases, because they are going to offer everyone in the county 2 free tests a week.  Millions will go for it I am sure.  Hospitalisation is the only valuable measure now.

You are probably already seeing that.

All school kids test twice a week, so you would probably expect numbers to be higher. They may not all test on the same day, but my son's school recommended test days, so they might. Sunday and Wednesday, so probably reported Monday and Thursday.

[newjez]

10 minutes ago, Jon the Hat said:

Wonderful to see!  Young people mainly, who are at very low risk, and whose at risk loved ones have now been vaccinated!   What are you worrying about exactly?

I think while there are very high numbers in other parts of the world, we still need to be cautious of people outside the UK, because they could bring in vaccine busting variants.

But I think people inside the UK should be able to relax a bit.

Edited April 13, 2021 by newjez

[Marisawright]

55 minutes ago, Jon the Hat said:

Wonderful to see!  Young people mainly, who are at very low risk, and whose at risk loved ones have now been vaccinated!   What are you worrying about exactly?

Young people are at very low risk of dying but they're not at low risk of neurological, respiratory or other long-term complications.

[MacGyver]

2 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

Wonderful to see!  Young people mainly, who are at very low risk, and whose at risk loved ones have now been vaccinated!   What are you worrying about exactly?

I’m worried about unvaccinated people mingling in large numbers when the South African variant is in ascendancy, which recent studies  suggest may be somewhat resistant to current vaccines including Pfizer.

After such a long lockdown and hard fought reduction in numbers, a slower paced, cautious reopening may have been wise. Time will tell I suppose.