Brisbane - just for young families and students?

[Ozblueskies]

Maybe a bit of an unusual question but here we go:

I have been living in Sydney for 5 years - I am currently in Europe to care for a family member but intend to return in a few months. I love Sydney, the climate, the beaches/national parks on its doorstep, the beauty of the city and the general cosmopolitan and liberal vibe. I am in my 40s, single, no kids and have been enjoying the lifestyle and good availability of a variety of jobs. However, I have always been playing with the thought of moving to Brisbane due to lower its lower living costs, smaller size und relaxed lifestyle. I used to live there up until 2012 so I am familiar with the specifics of the city  (more humid climate, no beaches, less depth and variety of jobs etc.) and of course, everything would depend on available career options up there so it's still early days. 

My concern is a different one: Obviously, Sydney is very liberal and being a single 40-something does not feel weird as there is an active grown-up social scene which fits my demographic. Not sure whether that has changed but about 10 years ago, Brisbane felt quite conservative (being single in your 30s was an exception...) and there was a certain kind of parochialism (locals not really paying much attention to the rest of Australia, yet alone the world...). I did enjoy the lifestyle but the Queensland mentality was something, I sometimes struggled with (even though most people were very friendly, it was more like a 'mental laziness'...). 

I feel that the "Queensland first" attitude has emerged again during the pandemic and I wasn't quite happy with the rhetoric up there towards people from interstate or other countries. To be honest, it was a bit of a turn off for me...

I have visited Brisbane a few times since I moved away but of course, as a visitor, it's hard to put your finger on things like mentality and 'vibe'. Brisbane is often sold as the mecca for 'young families' and I agree, for people who want to purchase an (affordable) big home with a yard and focus on family activities, Brisbane is an attractive option. On the other end of the spectrum, there is Brisbane's large student base but a  20-something crowd is obviously not really my scene anymore.

Long story short,  I am interested whether Brisbane has evolved into something more during the past years and would cater for people like me, e.g. is there a grown-up social scene or does life mainly revolve around families and universities? Any experiences from people who have recently moved there on their own? Pros/cons?

[Tulip1]

2 hours ago, Ozblueskies said:

Maybe a bit of an unusual question but here we go:

I have been living in Sydney for 5 years - I am currently in Europe to care for a family member but intend to return in a few months. I love Sydney, the climate, the beaches/national parks on its doorstep, the beauty of the city and the general cosmopolitan and liberal vibe. I am in my 40s, single, no kids and have been enjoying the lifestyle and good availability of a variety of jobs. However, I have always been playing with the thought of moving to Brisbane due to lower its lower living costs, smaller size und relaxed lifestyle. I used to live there up until 2012 so I am familiar with the specifics of the city  (more humid climate, no beaches, less depth and variety of jobs etc.) and of course, everything would depend on available career options up there so it's still early days. 

My concern is a different one: Obviously, Sydney is very liberal and being a single 40-something does not feel weird as there is an active grown-up social scene which fits my demographic. Not sure whether that has changed but about 10 years ago, Brisbane felt quite conservative (being single in your 30s was an exception...) and there was a certain kind of parochialism (locals not really paying much attention to the rest of Australia, yet alone the world...). I did enjoy the lifestyle but the Queensland mentality was something, I sometimes struggled with (even though most people were very friendly, it was more like a 'mental laziness'...). 

I feel that the "Queensland first" attitude has emerged again during the pandemic and I wasn't quite happy with the rhetoric up there towards people from interstate or other countries. To be honest, it was a bit of a turn off for me...

I have visited Brisbane a few times since I moved away but of course, as a visitor, it's hard to put your finger on things like mentality and 'vibe'. Brisbane is often sold as the mecca for 'young families' and I agree, for people who want to purchase an (affordable) big home with a yard and focus on family activities, Brisbane is an attractive option. On the other end of the spectrum, there is Brisbane's large student base but a  20-something crowd is obviously not really my scene anymore.

Long story short,  I am interested whether Brisbane has evolved into something more during the past years and would cater for people like me, e.g. is there a grown-up social scene or does life mainly revolve around families and universities? Any experiences from people who have recently moved there on their own? Pros/cons?

I can’t help regarding Brisbane as I’ve never been but I’d be very surprised if anywhere in any laidback western country would have an issue with people being single in their more mature years. Divorce rates are over 40% so I’d say it would be pretty common and I’m sure you wouldn’t be the odd one out. People with families still want an adult social scene too so I’m sure there would be plenty going on.  Hopefully someone more in the know about the area will be along to help you better than I can.

Edited December 27, 2020 by Tulip1

[Ozblueskies]

5 hours ago, Tulip1 said:

I can’t help regarding Brisbane as I’ve never been but I’d be very surprised if anywhere in any laidback western country would have an issue with people being single in their more mature years. Divorce rates are over 40% so I’d say it would be pretty common and I’m sure you wouldn’t be the odd one out. People with families still want an adult social scene too so I’m sure there would be plenty going on.  Hopefully someone more in the know about the area will be along to help you better than I can.

Ok, maybe that was a misunderstanding...not worried about being single but it is a known fact that families tend to spend their weekends/evenings with their own families or other families rather than leaving the kids at home and go for drink in a bar etc, a bushwalk (or any activities) or events with people who don't have any family :)

My friends who are married/have kids rarely go out (unless it's date night or with other couples) and meet new people - so it definately makes a big difference where you live (e.g. family-orientated area). That was my whole point :) 

 

[Marisawright]

7 hours ago, Tulip1 said:

I can’t help regarding Brisbane as I’ve never been but I’d be very surprised if anywhere in any laidback western country would have an issue with people being single in their more mature years. Divorce rates are over 40% so I’d say it would be pretty common and I’m sure you wouldn’t be the odd one out.

No one has an "issue" with people being single in their mature years.  It's just that mature singles have evenings to fill - they are the loneliest times when you're single and you want lively distraction - and married friends aren't often available to go out.   So you have to find other singles to socialise with, or find places you can go on your own without feeling conspicuous. 

The bigger issue, though, is that a mature single, newly arrived ina strange city, isn't likely to make friends among married people in the first place. I've been in that situation, and married people will hang onto school friends who never married or got divorced, but their lives revolve around kids and family stuff now, so if they are open to making new friends, they're more likely to be other families.

It means you need to find other singles - and the larger the city, the more chance you have of doing so.  I know the divorce rate is high, but I've been in that situation (in Sydney) and it was surprisingly hard to connect with other singles my age (over 40 at the time). I knew several 45+ single women at work, but they all seemed to feel that going out to pubs or clubs with a female friend meant that they would "look desperate", so they just sat at home and prayed they would meet a nice man at work one day.  Frankly, I'd imagine that would be worse in a smaller city.

Edited December 27, 2020 by Marisawright

[Tulip1]

43 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

I knew several 45+ single women at work, but they all seemed to feel that going out to pubs or clubs with a female friend meant that they would "look desperate", so they just sat at home and prayed they would meet a nice man at work one day

Poor women, fancy feeling like that.  I know several single women who would never feel like you’ve described, me being one of them. 

[Wanderer Returns]

12 hours ago, Ozblueskies said:

Maybe a bit of an unusual question but here we go:

I have been living in Sydney for 5 years - I am currently in Europe to care for a family member but intend to return in a few months. I love Sydney, the climate, the beaches/national parks on its doorstep, the beauty of the city and the general cosmopolitan and liberal vibe. I am in my 40s, single, no kids and have been enjoying the lifestyle and good availability of a variety of jobs. However, I have always been playing with the thought of moving to Brisbane due to lower its lower living costs, smaller size und relaxed lifestyle. I used to live there up until 2012 so I am familiar with the specifics of the city  (more humid climate, no beaches, less depth and variety of jobs etc.) and of course, everything would depend on available career options up there so it's still early days. 

My concern is a different one: Obviously, Sydney is very liberal and being a single 40-something does not feel weird as there is an active grown-up social scene which fits my demographic. Not sure whether that has changed but about 10 years ago, Brisbane felt quite conservative (being single in your 30s was an exception...) and there was a certain kind of parochialism (locals not really paying much attention to the rest of Australia, yet alone the world...). I did enjoy the lifestyle but the Queensland mentality was something, I sometimes struggled with (even though most people were very friendly, it was more like a 'mental laziness'...). 

I feel that the "Queensland first" attitude has emerged again during the pandemic and I wasn't quite happy with the rhetoric up there towards people from interstate or other countries. To be honest, it was a bit of a turn off for me...

I have visited Brisbane a few times since I moved away but of course, as a visitor, it's hard to put your finger on things like mentality and 'vibe'. Brisbane is often sold as the mecca for 'young families' and I agree, for people who want to purchase an (affordable) big home with a yard and focus on family activities, Brisbane is an attractive option. On the other end of the spectrum, there is Brisbane's large student base but a  20-something crowd is obviously not really my scene anymore.

Long story short,  I am interested whether Brisbane has evolved into something more during the past years and would cater for people like me, e.g. is there a grown-up social scene or does life mainly revolve around families and universities? Any experiences from people who have recently moved there on their own? Pros/cons?

I lived in Brisbane from 2004 to 2008, 2010 to 2012, and again for about 6 months earlier this year. I'm not really a city person, but if I was going to live in any city in Australia it would be Brissie. Yes, it's definitely become more cosmopolitan in the last 10-15 years, so it doesn't have that 'big country town' any more. To be honest, I think it's a shame it's lost that and is starting to suffer from the same problems every other rapidly-expanding city does - lack of affordable housing, crime, congestion, and generally an infrastructure struggling to keep up. I think the parochialism you're referring to is less evident in the city itself, but as I'm sure you're aware, Australian cities are a microcosm compared with the rest of Australia, which is a different world. Personally, I'd rather put up with a bit of good old-fashioned Aussiness (if that's even a word!), than the pretentious wannabes and all cash-and-no-class types you run into down south.

Reading between the lines, if you're looking for a gay scene then that exists but it's pretty low key when compared with Sydney. Bottom line; Brisbane would be a great place to live at any age up to retirement, it's progressive, and it has a nicer vibe than Sydney or Melbourne, but it's not right for everyone. As you'll be returning from the UK then maybe you should head up to Brisbane first and give it a whirl, before going back to Sydney.

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, Tulip1 said:

Poor women, fancy feeling like that.  I know several single women who would never feel like you’ve described, me being one of them. 

I never felt like that and it surprised me how many women in Sydney did. I think it changes once you get past 55, then you don’t give a stuff 

[MARYROSE02]

4 hours ago, Tulip1 said:

Poor women, fancy feeling like that.  I know several single women who would never feel like you’ve described, me being one of them. 

You have probably discovered that if you want to meet guys of any age, then forget boring rubbish like plays, opera, concerts, and start doing what guys do - watch footie and cricket!

[ramot]

17 hours ago, Ozblueskies said:

Maybe a bit of an unusual question but here we go:

I have been living in Sydney for 5 years - I am currently in Europe to care for a family member but intend to return in a few months. I love Sydney, the climate, the beaches/national parks on its doorstep, the beauty of the city and the general cosmopolitan and liberal vibe. I am in my 40s, single, no kids and have been enjoying the lifestyle and good availability of a variety of jobs. However, I have always been playing with the thought of moving to Brisbane due to lower its lower living costs, smaller size und relaxed lifestyle. I used to live there up until 2012 so I am familiar with the specifics of the city  (more humid climate, no beaches, less depth and variety of jobs etc.) and of course, everything would depend on available career options up there so it's still early days. 

My concern is a different one: Obviously, Sydney is very liberal and being a single 40-something does not feel weird as there is an active grown-up social scene which fits my demographic. Not sure whether that has changed but about 10 years ago, Brisbane felt quite conservative (being single in your 30s was an exception...) and there was a certain kind of parochialism (locals not really paying much attention to the rest of Australia, yet alone the world...). I did enjoy the lifestyle but the Queensland mentality was something, I sometimes struggled with (even though most people were very friendly, it was more like a 'mental laziness'...). 

I feel that the "Queensland first" attitude has emerged again during the pandemic and I wasn't quite happy with the rhetoric up there towards people from interstate or other countries. To be honest, it was a bit of a turn off for me...

I have visited Brisbane a few times since I moved away but of course, as a visitor, it's hard to put your finger on things like mentality and 'vibe'. Brisbane is often sold as the mecca for 'young families' and I agree, for people who want to purchase an (affordable) big home with a yard and focus on family activities, Brisbane is an attractive option. On the other end of the spectrum, there is Brisbane's large student base but a  20-something crowd is obviously not really my scene anymore.

Long story short,  I am interested whether Brisbane has evolved into something more during the past years and would cater for people like me, e.g. is there a grown-up social scene or does life mainly revolve around families and universities? Any experiences from people who have recently moved there on their own? Pros/cons?

I’m not suggesting you only stick to British ex pats but there was a group Brisbane British club and also InterNations?  I think both organise social events if still running. Sorry but I can’t vouch for either. 

[Ozblueskies]

First of all, thanks to everybody who replied so far. 

Maybe I should have clarified something - the emphasis of my post was not really supposed to be on my relationship status and my question didn't revolve around the issue of finding a guy   I am just enjoying life, socialising with friends (single or not...) and not desperately waiting for a partner. Interestingly, I only encountered the attitude "if a woman is not married by the time she is in her 40s, she must be gay - or something is wrong with her' in Brisbane, never really confronted this attitude in Sydney... 

As pointed out, it's more about the concern of having a good social life with people of a similar age. I am talking about a certain open-mindedness. Back when I was living in Brisbane, I sometimes encountered a bit of casual racism ( I am not British but from a EU country) - e.g. a certain ignorance and indifference towards people from overseas. There was this Queensland culture which I found hard to break into in the beginning. Whereas in Sydney, I never got that, I felt welcome from the start and part of the community, the vibe is quite diverse and people are usually quite liberal and accepting of newcomers. But maybe, Brisbane has changed over the past years... I also found it harder to break into the local job market (it's generally a matter of knowing the right people) whereas in Sydney, I felt that my experience was more relevant. Maybe that's just a subjective feeling. 

[MARYROSE02]

10 hours ago, Ozblueskies said:

First of all, thanks to everybody who replied so far. 

Maybe I should have clarified something - the emphasis of my post was not really supposed to be on my relationship status and my question didn't revolve around the issue of finding a guy   I am just enjoying life, socialising with friends (single or not...) and not desperately waiting for a partner. Interestingly, I only encountered the attitude "if a woman is not married by the time she is in her 40s, she must be gay - or something is wrong with her' in Brisbane, never really confronted this attitude in Sydney... 

As pointed out, it's more about the concern of having a good social life with people of a similar age. I am talking about a certain open-mindedness. Back when I was living in Brisbane, I sometimes encountered a bit of casual racism ( I am not British but from a EU country) - e.g. a certain ignorance and indifference towards people from overseas. There was this Queensland culture which I found hard to break into in the beginning. Whereas in Sydney, I never got that, I felt welcome from the start and part of the community, the vibe is quite diverse and people are usually quite liberal and accepting of newcomers. But maybe, Brisbane has changed over the past years... I also found it harder to break into the local job market (it's generally a matter of knowing the right people) whereas in Sydney, I felt that my experience was more relevant. Maybe that's just a subjective feeling. 

"Subjective". That is the crux of your "problem." You are asking other people for their subjective feelings about, in this case Brisbane v Sydney.  I have spent 99 per cent of my time in Australia living in Sydney - 30 years versus a few days in Brisbane.  I've just celebrated five months living in Surfers Paradise which is close enough to Brisbane to be almost an outer suburb, or if you prefer, Brisbane is an outer suburb of Surfers Paradise.

My "blueprint" for settling into a new place is always the same - find some pubs and cafes and go there every day, talk to the staff, get to know their names as they hopefully get to know mine, and gradually "morph" into a local. My brother and I go to the same cafe twice a day. Last night we went to the Surfers Paradise Surf Lifesaving Club which we both joined the day after I arrived in Surfers Paradise. We know the staff and know some of the regulars now, well enough to join them at their tables.

Three years ago I went to Perth twice in five months over twelve weeks and did the same thing as I've done  in Surfers Paradise. I'm sure I could do the same thing if I moved up to Brisbane. I'd certainly recommend you move to Surfers Paradise, or somewhere else on the Gold Coast, e.g. Broadbeach or Main Beach, both of which have a different "vibe". But you might hate it and there are plenty of people who will tell you - subjectively  that Brisbane, the Gold Coast, Surfers Paradise, and Perth are all horrible places, and the same about Sydney for that matter.

Comparing Surry Hills, where I live(d) in Sydney, and Surfers Paradise, they are exactly the same as far as being welcoming to outsiders, as I was of course. But I'm sure if you look up reviews of Surry Hills and Surfers Paradise you will find people who hate them and people who love them. "I went into the Strawberry Hills hotel (or the Surf Club in Surfers Paradise) and never again. The staff were rude. The food was cold and we had ot wait for ever to be served."  I ignore the reviews Just be open minded!

[Marisawright]

12 hours ago, Ozblueskies said:

Maybe I should have clarified something - the emphasis of my post was not really supposed to be on my relationship status and my question didn't revolve around the issue of finding a guy   I am just enjoying life, socialising with friends (single or not...)

I understood that.    I was in the same position in Sydney in my forties.   I haven't lived in Brisbane but I have become very aware of the different dynamic of cities in general, the world over.  I think, to offer the kind of attitudes and diversity you're looking for, you need to be in a city that's at least 3 million people.   At about that figure, they seem to achieve some kind of critical mass, big enough to support an explosion of different activities and culture.  Whatever your interests, you're almost bound to find what you're looking for in a city that size:  whereas smaller cities will have less choice.  Of course, there are downsides, like overcrowding and pollution and expense!  

Have you considered Melbourne?   Still expensive but housing is two-thirds the cost of Sydney.   We moved here and are loving it.  Not so great if you're a beach person or like hot weather, though.

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, MARYROSE02 said:

My "blueprint" for settling into a new place is always the same - find some pubs and cafes and go there every day, talk to the staff, get to know their names as they hopefully get to know mine, and gradually "morph" into a local.

Not so easy for a single woman to go into a pub alone, and she's not likely to meet new friends there because other women won't be in there alone, either. 

You seem to equate being sociable with bar staff and waiters as "becoming a local" whereas the OP is looking to make real friends.

[ramot]

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

I understood that.    I was in the same position in Sydney in my forties.   I haven't lived in Brisbane but I have become very aware of the different dynamic of cities in general, the world over.  I think, to offer the kind of attitudes and diversity you're looking for, you need to be in a city that's at least 3 million people.   At about that figure, they seem to achieve some kind of critical mass, big enough to support an explosion of different activities and culture.  Whatever your interests, you're almost bound to find what you're looking for in a city that size:  whereas smaller cities will have less choice.  Of course, there are downsides, like overcrowding and pollution and expense!  

Have you considered Melbourne?   Still expensive but housing is two-thirds the cost of Sydney.   We moved here and are loving it.  Not so great if you're a beach person or like hot weather, though.

Only just under 2.5 million in Brisbane so that’s out.

[Wanderer Returns]

13 hours ago, Ozblueskies said:

First of all, thanks to everybody who replied so far. 

Maybe I should have clarified something - the emphasis of my post was not really supposed to be on my relationship status and my question didn't revolve around the issue of finding a guy   I am just enjoying life, socialising with friends (single or not...) and not desperately waiting for a partner. Interestingly, I only encountered the attitude "if a woman is not married by the time she is in her 40s, she must be gay - or something is wrong with her' in Brisbane, never really confronted this attitude in Sydney... 

As pointed out, it's more about the concern of having a good social life with people of a similar age. I am talking about a certain open-mindedness. Back when I was living in Brisbane, I sometimes encountered a bit of casual racism ( I am not British but from a EU country) - e.g. a certain ignorance and indifference towards people from overseas. There was this Queensland culture which I found hard to break into in the beginning. Whereas in Sydney, I never got that, I felt welcome from the start and part of the community, the vibe is quite diverse and people are usually quite liberal and accepting of newcomers. But maybe, Brisbane has changed over the past years... I also found it harder to break into the local job market (it's generally a matter of knowing the right people) whereas in Sydney, I felt that my experience was more relevant. Maybe that's just a subjective feeling. 

I like that you've thanked everyone who replied. There are many occasions when someone posts a question in this forum, and then they never interact with the thread, or acknowledge helpful advice.

My apologies for implying that you might be looking for a gay scene, but as you stated 'Sydney is very liberal and being a single 40-something does not feel weird as there is an active grown-up social scene which fits my demographic', I wrongly-assumed that you might. As I mentioned, I was reading between the lines, and that assumption was based on what you'd said rather than me being from or living in Brisbane. I'm originally from the UK, as I imagine are most people on a sit called 'PomsInOz'  

Back to your OP, I believe you've answered your own question. You have already lived in Brisbane (you didn't say how long?), and then in Sydney for 5 years, which is a considerable length of time. You spoke about Sydney with great affection, and the only drawbacks being the cost of living, and it not being quite as relaxed as you'd like. On the other hand you view Brisbane as parochial by comparison, inhabited by people who are not you intellectual equal ('mentally lazy'), and are racist to boot. You see Queensland as a backward, insular state, concerned with it's own interest (although to be fair you'll find that every state puts their own interests first), so I don't know why you would want to move here except for cheaper housing - and it's nowhere near as cheap as it used to be.

With regards to meeting new people, then that's the same the world over - find people who share common interests. @MARYROSE02 likes socializing in bars/cafes and is clearly very chatty, so that works for him - but it wouldn't be my cup of tea. When I moved to Brissie I joined a 5-a-side league and a rock-climbing club. If you're the type of person who makes an effort and gets out there, you'll make friends anywhere, regardless of how big or small the place is where you live.

[Wanderer Returns]

24 minutes ago, ramot said:

Only just under 2.5 million in Brisbane so that’s out.

That's right - you'll not meet anyone you have something in common with unless there's 3 million people to choose from!  

[Toots]

26 minutes ago, Wanderer Returns said:

That's right - you'll not meet anyone you have something in common with unless there's 3 million people to choose from!  

There are over 5 million people in Sydney and I lived there for well over 20 years and out of those 5 million people I only had 4 very good friends but yes I know what Marisa is getting at.  Now i live in a town of 25,000 and am kept very busy with all sorts of things.  It is fairly easy to meet people who share similar interests and through that I have a good social life - enough to keep me happy anyway.   Three of my good Sydney friends have moved to Tasmania   .......................  better still!  

When we came to Australia in 1981, Queensland did not have a good reputation in the other states. Joh Bjelke Petersen was premier - police state, the white shoe brigade (wealthy business people of Queensland, typically property developers, perceived as aggressively commercial, vulgarly showy, and politically conservative).   Glad times have changed since then.

 

[MARYROSE02]

2 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Not so easy for a single woman to go into a pub alone, and she's not likely to meet new friends there because other women won't be in there alone, either. 

You seem to equate being sociable with bar staff and waiters as "becoming a local" whereas the OP is looking to make real friends.

A few years ago, I might have agreed with you about single women not being able to go into pubs,  but I know two women who come into the Surf Club on their own. Nobody hassles them. When you walk in there's usually a member of staff to greet you (benefit of Covid?) and direct you to a table. The other places I go in are more restaurant/bars so someone will show you to a table, take your order.

As to meeting other people, well, I guess we all have to pluck up our courage up to "make the first move." Even in these days of equality, I assume that most women expect the man to make the first move? Unfortunately, that limits their choice of men because the most "forward" of the men are more likely to be the rogues, cads and bounders. I suppose they are the alpha males, spreading their seed whilst the nerds like myself see our genes die out.

Being sociable with the staff and waiters is just part of the process of becoming a local and hopefully making "real" friends. The real friends I made in Sydney include people who work in the pubs but it usually takes a while.  You could join any number of social groups and not make real friends any quicker than by going to a pub. You might be lucky and hit it off immediately. 

I look back sometimes and try to figure out when the friends I made in Sydney changed from anonymous customers, to acquaintances and finally "real" friends. 

I can picture a single woman going into the Surf Club for a few nights, starting to get to know the staff, then one of them finishes her shift but stays for a drink and joins the single woman at her table. They often join the customers, then gradually, you might find things in common. Two or three of the girls I've got to know will give me a hug which I find endearing.

But you do have to "push" yourself out there, something which I have found hard to do in the past.

 

[MARYROSE02]

34 minutes ago, Toots said:

There are over 5 million people in Sydney and I lived there for well over 20 years and out of those 5 million people I only had 4 very good friends but yes I know what Marisa is getting at.  Now i live in a town of 25,000 and am kept very busy with all sorts of things.  It is fairly easy to meet people who share similar interests and through that I have a good social life - enough to keep me happy anyway.   Three of my good Sydney friends have moved to Tasmania   .......................  better still!  

When we came to Australia in 1981, Queensland did not have a good reputation in the other states. Joh Bjelke Petersen was premier - police state, the white shoe brigade (wealthy business people of Queensland, typically property developers, perceived as aggressively commercial, vulgarly showy, and politically conservative).   Glad times have changed since then.

 

I saw the obituaries for one those "white shoes"

https://www.reiq.com/articles/vale-max-christmas/

Of course, in a big city like Sydney you have to pick a small part to socialise in. For me that meant not even the whole of Surry Hills but basically a one kilometre radius from my home in Elizabeth Street - Cleveland Street, Chalmers Street, Devonshire Street, Crown Street. two cafes, four or fivev pubs. My GP is in Crown Street, my dentist and podiatrist in Redfern, a fifteen minute walk. Outside of work and going to the beach most of my life was in Surry Hills, easy walking distance from home.

It is the same in Surfers Paradise where most of the places I go to are within a few hundred metres of where we live. We went to Northcliffe Surf Club on Sunday night. two stops on the tram and a short walk, and  walked back 1.2 km.

I'm slowly "becoming" a local. One guy I know gave me his phone number if I want to go for a drink. I stopped to talk to a lady from one of the bars who was waiting for her mum to pick her up and she introduced me to her mum. I'm walking past a bar with my brother and a girl calls out our names to come and join her, then gives us hugs. I gave one of the girls who works in the surf club a birthday card. They are all like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and the picture is gradually emerging.

 

[Wanderer Returns]

51 minutes ago, Toots said:

There are over 5 million people in Sydney and I lived there for well over 20 years and out of those 5 million people I only had 4 very good friends but yes I know what Marisa is getting at.  Now i live in a town of 25,000 and am kept very busy with all sorts of things.  It is fairly easy to meet people who share similar interests and through that I have a good social life - enough to keep me happy anyway.   Three of my good Sydney friends have moved to Tasmania   .......................  better still!  

Exactly. Not to mention everything's done online these days. It doesn't really matter where you live - it's far easier to meet like-minded people than it's ever been.

[Marisawright]

25 minutes ago, MARYROSE02 said:

A few years ago, I might have agreed with you about single women not being able to go into pubs,  but I know two women who come into the Surf Club on their own. Nobody hassles them.

 

If it's two women who meet there and sit together, that's not "alone", is it?   

Edited December 29, 2020 by Marisawright

[MARYROSE02]

17 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

If it's two women who meet there and sit together, that's not "alone", is it?   

Well, I'm assuming they are single to start with and get to know other women, or men for that matter. Women in pairs and groups are ubiquitous in Surfers.

I used to hate walking into pubs on my own and even now if it's a place I've not been to before. Perhaps there are plenty of guys are as scared or more scared than girls of going into pubs.  We have the same fears that everybody is turning to look at us, judge us, the same nervousness about going into crowds, standing at the bar, queuing. 

[Marisawright]

 

Just now, MARYROSE02 said:

Well, I'm assuming they are single to start with and get to know other women

Yes, but I didn't say, "single women won't go into bars".   As a single woman, I went to bars a lot.   But I would never walk into a pub ALONE and sit by myself.  

[Wanderer Returns]

5 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

As to meeting other people, well, I guess we all have to pluck up our courage up to "make the first move." Even in these days of equality, I assume that most women expect the man to make the first move? Unfortunately, that limits their choice of men because the most "forward" of the men are more likely to be the rogues, cads and bounders. I suppose they are the alpha males, spreading their seed whilst the nerds like myself see our genes die out.

Well you could sell one of your houses and buy a Ferrari - that might level the playing field a bit!  

[Paul1Perth]

On 28/12/2020 at 04:00, Ozblueskies said:

Ok, maybe that was a misunderstanding...not worried about being single but it is a known fact that families tend to spend their weekends/evenings with their own families or other families rather than leaving the kids at home and go for drink in a bar etc, a bushwalk (or any activities) or events with people who don't have any family

My friends who are married/have kids rarely go out (unless it's date night or with other couples) and meet new people - so it definately makes a big difference where you live (e.g. family-orientated area). That was my whole point

 

I thought all those dating sites advertised on TV would help find someone of the same age, interests to go out and have a good time with. Doesn't have to turn into anything serious.