Ahhh the challenge of being a migrant

[Paul1Perth]

On 17/05/2021 at 05:22, MaroubraAndy said:

It wasn’t that we couldn’t afford to buy in Sydney at the time, I kinda of just couldn’t commit to buying a place as it felt like a level of permanence that my head couldn’t deal with.  When we came back to the U.K. we bought a family home straight away and plan to keep it.  
Whilst buying in our previous haunts in the east might be a stretch, things seem a lot more affordable alittle down south so hopefully that shoudnt be too much of an issue.

Im conscious this all sounds like a load of BS to most people, who probably just read this and think ‘just get the f@@k on with your life and stop p&ssing and moaning’. But I guess everyone’s issues are relative to their own circumstances.

 

 

 

Why would you keep the UK house if you'recserious about coming for good.

Maximise your cash and buy somewhere in Sydney you really like, instead of making a compromise when you're here.

Where you choose to live can affect your lifestyle remarkably and can be the difference between thinking you've landed in paradise or not liking it one bit.

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, Paul1Perth said:

Where you choose to live can affect your lifestyle remarkably and can be the difference between thinking you've landed in paradise or not liking it one bit.

TBH that was my reaction too.  I lived in Sydney for over 30 years.  The Eastern Suburbs, especially the beach suburbs, are great places to live.  If you can't afford them, then you can find a similar lifestyle in Cronulla.  But if Maroubra is the vibe that you loved, and you end up having to live in Matraville or Sutherland or somewhere inland, you'll hate it and wonder why you ever moved.

That's one of the reasons we live in Melbourne now.  I lived in Randwick for years, then we lived in Oatley which is a nice village-y suburb, an easy drive or train trip to Cronulla for the beach.  When we returned from overseas, we couldn't afford to buy there, or in any suburb we found acceptable. 

After 30+ years in Sydney, it feels more like home to me than anywhere in the UK and alway will. But I prefer to live somewhere else entirely, rather than live in a Sydney suburb I don't like.  It really does make that much difference, IMO.  

Edited May 18, 2021 by Marisawright

[MaroubraAndy]

Both of your comments Perth1Paul and Marisa are spot on and I totally agree. I guess if I were FULLY committed to it being a 1 way trip I’d sell my U.K. house and fully invest in Sydney in a heartbeat. The fact that I can’t for some reason being myself to do that gives me cause for concern!

[MaroubraAndy]

If I’m completely honest with myself, if the job opportunity both in terms of experience and financial gain wasn’t what it was, I wouldn’t be considering moving back to Sydney at this specific point in time. I’d spend a few more years in the U.K. enjoying what it has to offer prior to moving back to Oz in the future. That is essentially the crux of the issue. 

[Marisawright]

It’s just a job 

[Blue Flu]

On 19/05/2021 at 20:51, MaroubraAndy said:

If I’m completely honest with myself, if the job opportunity both in terms of experience and financial gain wasn’t what it was, I wouldn’t be considering moving back to Sydney at this specific point in time. I’d spend a few more years in the U.K. enjoying what it has to offer prior to moving back to Oz in the future. That is essentially the crux of the issue. 

I wouldn't do it solely for financial gain. But I know it's a vicious circle. Such reasons are tempting. But remember there are so many career burnouts and popping of anti depressants that careful consideration into what will really suit best .

 

[MaroubraAndy]

Totally agree @Blue Flu. After several months of indecision and working the AU job remotely, we’ve decided to stay put for the time being. Given the state of the pandemic in Oz and the lockdowns in sydney this has turned out to be a decent decision as I certainly wouldn’t have fancied landing in lockdown conditions! 

[Rossmoyne]

2 hours ago, MaroubraAndy said:

Totally agree @Blue Flu. After several months of indecision and working the AU job remotely, we’ve decided to stay put for the time being. Given the state of the pandemic in Oz and the lockdowns in sydney this has turned out to be a decent decision as I certainly wouldn’t have fancied landing in lockdown conditions! 

From reading through  your whole post, I agree that with the current times covid wise, you are probably best advised to stay where you are for the time being.

[Jehwal]

On 18/11/2020 at 20:04, MaroubraAndy said:

Hey guys,

Man, I’m so over the feeling of being torn between Oz and the UK.. 

I moved back from Sydney after 10 years there and have now been in London for 2.5 years. We’re at a crossroads in that I’ve just quit my current company and have two offers on the table, one in London and a much better one in Sydney and I just can’t decide what to do.

A few months back we thought we were gunning to return to Sydney now we’re seeing the beauty on our doorstep.

it feels like whichever decision we make is a compromise, choose Sydney and we forego the comfort and closeness of family, choose London and we miss out on the wonderful lifestyle we used to have. Ahhhhhhhh!

 

I know how you feel. Currently in Oz but really not living at all. Both parents are now very elderly and unwell both here in Oz with us. Watching their later years in Oz has been difficult, they really regret coming here now. They only have me to rely on. All the friends here they did meet have now passed. They both have other family at home they desperately would love to see but none are well enough for that flight. It has been a constant dilemma for many years, one i regret not facing and dealing with back then. 
The pressure it has put on me due to the fact i am the only one who can really help has been way too much , wishing we where all home where i would have much more support. There is a huge difference in how people support each other in oz versus uk. Two months ago both parents where in hospital with mum not expected to make it. Family and friends in the uk where in constant contact checking in with how it was and how i was coping, best friend here who knew what was happening never even called! I think having family nearby is a huge thing snd should never be under valued.

Due to my experiences i know i would love to feel safe and supported in the UK. My first thoughts on that was back when my daughter was 8 but i listened to everyone else who said no Aus is so much better, i didn't think so myself  as not having” your people “ around affects mental health terribly, i know i have suffered for years. Being isolated away from what is home is not great and gets harder as time goes on.

 

 

 

[Marisawright]

3 hours ago, Jehwal said:

I know how you feel. Currently in Oz but really not living at all. Both parents are now very elderly and unwell both here in Oz with us. Watching their later years in Oz has been difficult, they really regret coming here now. They only have me to rely on. All the friends here they did meet have now passed. They both have other family at home they desperately would love to see but none are well enough for that flight. It has been a constant dilemma for many years, one i regret not facing and dealing with back then. ...

My first thoughts on that was back when my daughter was 8 but i listened to everyone else who said no Aus is so much better, i didn't think so myself  as not having” your people “ around affects mental health terribly, i know i have suffered for years. Being isolated away from what is home is not great and gets harder as time goes on.

I'm so sorry to hear you're in this situation. I get accused of being a negative Nellie when I urge caution on parents considering a move to Australia in old age, but your parents are a good example of why I always speak up.  Mothers, especially, are sometimes so desperate to be close to their son/daughter that they don't face the reality of how much they're giving up. Of course there are many migrants and parents who are delighted with the move but it's a disservice to everyone if we pretend it's always rosy.   I don't know what to say other than offer a virtual hug.

Edited October 9, 2023 by Marisawright

[Jehwal]

7 hours ago, Marisawright said:

I'm so sorry to hear you're in this situation. I get accused of being a negative Nellie when I urge caution on parents considering a move to Australia in old age, but your parents are a good example of why I always speak up.  Mothers, especially, are sometimes so desperate to be close to their son/daughter that they don't face the reality of how much they're giving up. Of course there are many migrants and parents who are delighted with the move but it's a disservice to everyone if we pretend it's always rosy.   I don't know what to say other than offer a virtual hug.

Thank you. I know its a hard one. I think my parents where happy here for quite a while they came at 65 now hitting 90 its a very  different life when you are 90 and unable to do much for yourself. I know they miss just being at home, especially my dad ss he only has one sister left there now.