How Long before you realised that Australia was or was not the place that you wanted to spend the rest of your days ?

[bug family]

3 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

Perhaps that line that someone else quoted was taken out of context? "......for me, before I even set foot in Australia, I knew......" sounds like someone who has made their mind up they will dislike something before they have tried it. Sorry, if it was taken out of context.

This is probably a single person's question but why did you agree to do something which you so patently disliked doing right from the start?

 

I think you possibly are missing what I am saying, I did not dislike Australia from the start or the thought of coming here, in fact i was looking forward to a new adventure in life, however I did make it clear to my wife and family at the beginning that for me this was not going to be a forever move, and that I intended to return home one day, I wanted honesty from the outset and my wife agreed so at the time, however she has now changed her mind which I support, after all it is her life as well....but I have not changed mine, however just to clear up once again I always intended to come on this adventure, but I also always intended to return home one day...no dislike of Australia was involved it would have been the same had I gone to anywhere else in the world

[tea4too]

1 hour ago, bug family said:

I think you possibly are missing what I am saying, I did not dislike Australia from the start or the thought of coming here, in fact i was looking forward to a new adventure in life, however I did make it clear to my wife and family at the beginning that for me this was not going to be a forever move, and that I intended to return home one day, I wanted honesty from the outset and my wife agreed so at the time, however she has now changed her mind which I support, after all it is her life as well....but I have not changed mine, however just to clear up once again I always intended to come on this adventure, but I also always intended to return home one day...no dislike of Australia was involved it would have been the same had I gone to anywhere else in the world

You did clarify that in your first post of the thread, together with the timescale you agreed as a family and how things have changed along the way. Fwiw I don't read your posts as a criticism of Aus, more an affirmation that you need to be somewhere else to feel complete. As you were honest from the outset it is sad that things have not worked out as planned but life, people and emotions can be incredibly hard to predict accurately. Take care BugF,  especially of your mental health as you are managing a stressful time. Tx

[blondie]

On 20/12/2020 at 06:56, bug family said:

Can I ask blondie do you miss anything about your time here in Australia?.....would you return?

In short no I wouldn’t return ... but yes there are things I miss occasionally, mostly superficial though. I came to the conclusion there is a ‘holiday’ Australia and the one to live and work in, no surprises I wanted to see the holiday one. Living and working in Sydney was my idea of hell but my husbands heaven.  I would be happy to private message you to chat as your situation is 100% identical to the one I found myself in.  

[Parley]

On 10/01/2021 at 21:03, bug family said:

Maryrose02, I am confused,  forgive me but where am I saying that I hated Australia before I stepped foot in the country?.......I asked the question ' How Long before you realised that Australia was or was not the place that you wanted to spend the rest of your days ?'  And I shared my thoughts that I knew and voiced that I would be returning home one day, as I knew that it was not a forever move for me, just like thousands before me have voiced, I have never said that I hated the place but simply have been honest in my feelings to my wife and family so that they where under no illusion that this would not be a forever move for me from the beginning........I do not consider being honest with someone as being 'odd'...call me old fashioned and all that

Are you saying you are going to leave your wife and kids to go home ? Are things that bad ?

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, Parley said:

Are you saying you are going to leave your wife and kids to go home ? Are things that bad ?

Well, he has said he and his wife are no longer a couple.  He's only living in the family home for the sake of the kids.   He has also said he would've gone home long ago but he can't bear to leave the children.  That's his dilemma.

Edited January 15, 2021 by Marisawright

[bug family]

On 15/01/2021 at 06:40, Parley said:

Are you saying you are going to leave your wife and kids to go home ? Are things that bad ?

mmmmmm.......some days honestly yes, the combination of missing home and mind numbing boredom here takes its toll.......but, I am hoping for a compromise, for example I have recently discussed with my wife(ish) the idea of saving up (not quite sure how I am going to do it as yet) over the next few years and seeing if I can get together enough to purchase a small property in the UK, I am talking cheap cheap as in a flat etc or small house, I recently looked around the Carlisle and Scottish border area and noticed that there are some properties available for less than 60,000 pounds....although I have no idea if the area would be suitable, my idea would be to at least have a base in the UK, it would be a start and I would have a foothold back home so to speak,  I could go back every year for a month or so (post Covid 19 of course) and use as a base with which to explore around the country and Europe with my kids and even wife(ish) if they want to come, I think that it is important in life to have something to aim towards as this helps to give purpose, and once reached it makes it easier to reach for the next target and so on.....I think am going to need a bigger piggy bank though 

[bug family]

On 14/01/2021 at 19:36, blondie said:

In short no I wouldn’t return ... but yes there are things I miss occasionally, mostly superficial though. I came to the conclusion there is a ‘holiday’ Australia and the one to live and work in, no surprises I wanted to see the holiday one. Living and working in Sydney was my idea of hell but my husbands heaven.  I would be happy to private message you to chat as your situation is 100% identical to the one I found myself in.  

Thanks blondie it would be good to chat

[Chortlepuss]

11 hours ago, bug family said:

mmmmmm.......some days honestly yes, the combination of missing home and mind numbing boredom here takes its toll.......but, I am hoping for a compromise, for example I have recently discussed with my wife(ish) the idea of saving up (not quite sure how I am going to do it as yet) over the next few years and seeing if I can get together enough to purchase a small property in the UK, I am talking cheap cheap as in a flat etc or small house, I recently looked around the Carlisle and Scottish border area and noticed that there are some properties available for less than 60,000 pounds....although I have no idea if the area would be suitable, my idea would be to at least have a base in the UK, it would be a start and I would have a foothold back home so to speak,  I could go back every year for a month or so (post Covid 19 of course) and use as a base with which to explore around the country and Europe with my kids and even wife(ish) if they want to come, I think that it is important in life to have something to aim towards as this helps to give purpose, and once reached it makes it easier to reach for the next target and so on.....I think am going to need a bigger piggy bank though 

I would love to live ‘part and part’  I think if I could have a good amount of time (3-4 months) in the UK each year, I would be sorted. I’ve got a head start as have a house in SE UK that is currently tenanted. But doing part n part is fraught with complication - leaving the house empty (and thus uninsured), couldn’t have a lodger as I’m not ‘resident’. What to do about healthcare as we approach retirement? What about keeping a car?  We live in a smaller house in Aus so we can keep this house in the UK - we could have a nice house here, and the money from selling it could go into our super to make us very comfortable. We don’t get a huge amount of rent but it is an income and I struggle to find work in my 50’s. It doesn’t make financial sense to really keep it even though there’s no mortgage on it but I keep it for sentimental reasons. Maybe I should time share it amongst my fellow homesick expats? 

[ramot]

2 hours ago, Chortlepuss said:

I would love to live ‘part and part’  I think if I could have a good amount of time (3-4 months) in the UK each year, I would be sorted. I’ve got a head start as have a house in SE UK that is currently tenanted. But doing part n part is fraught with complication - leaving the house empty (and thus uninsured), couldn’t have a lodger as I’m not ‘resident’. What to do about healthcare as we approach retirement? What about keeping a car?  We live in a smaller house in Aus so we can keep this house in the UK - we could have a nice house here, and the money from selling it could go into our super to make us very comfortable. We don’t get a huge amount of rent but it is an income and I struggle to find work in my 50’s. It doesn’t make financial sense to really keep it even though there’s no mortgage on it but I keep it for sentimental reasons. Maybe I should time share it amongst my fellow homesick expats? 

I have experience of

a.     living between 2 countries

I did this for nearly 10 years as an expat as our children were in school and university in UK spending time in each house  in shortish  trips  trying to keep husband and children happy. Not to be recommended as it’s very unsettling you end up trying to please everyone and it’s a bandaid in a hard situation. It’s very unsettling as you don’t really live anywhere, torn between husband and children.

Its very different going back on holiday rarely and being made a fuss of, to going back regularly, when the novelty has worn off.I was very lonely at times.

b       Pre covid spending approximately 3 months in Uk 

Have been doing this for the last 13 years as our only grandchildren are in UK, not because we are unhappy in Australia,  it isn’t a cheap option, but at least easier as  it’s now possible to rent short term since Airbnb started up. We do own property in UK,  but it’s not worth getting good tenants to leave your property to live in it for 3’sh months and then have to find a new tenant. Financially it doesn’t make sense. Certainly doesn’t make sense either to leave a property empty for most of the year for all the obvious reasons.

We originally rented an Airbnb near our family, so now book directly with the owner and negotiate a long term rent, and hire a car, it’s not a cheap thing to do when you also factor in airfares, so careful thought.needs to be given as to how long you can realistically afford to go for.

 

[Bulya]

15 hours ago, bug family said:

mmmmmm.......some days honestly yes, the combination of missing home and mind numbing boredom here takes its toll.......but, I am hoping for a compromise, for example I have recently discussed with my wife(ish) the idea of saving up (not quite sure how I am going to do it as yet) over the next few years and seeing if I can get together enough to purchase a small property in the UK, I am talking cheap cheap as in a flat etc or small house, I recently looked around the Carlisle and Scottish border area and noticed that there are some properties available for less than 60,000 pounds....although I have no idea if the area would be suitable, my idea would be to at least have a base in the UK, it would be a start and I would have a foothold back home so to speak,  I could go back every year for a month or so (post Covid 19 of course) and use as a base with which to explore around the country and Europe with my kids and even wife(ish) if they want to come, I think that it is important in life to have something to aim towards as this helps to give purpose, and once reached it makes it easier to reach for the next target and so on.....I think am going to need a bigger piggy bank though 

Perth can be boring.  Why not move East where there’s a lot more variety and things to do?

[ali]

2 minutes ago, Bulya said:

Perth can be boring.  

Not for everyone Bulya 

[Drumbeat]

2 hours ago, Bulya said:

Perth can be boring.  Why not move East where there’s a lot more variety and things to do?

Life's only as boring as you make it.

[Bulya]

3 hours ago, ali said:

Not for everyone Bulya 

For the majority.  It’s limited. 

[Marisawright]

6 hours ago, Chortlepuss said:

I would love to live ‘part and part’  I think if I could have a good amount of time (3-4 months) in the UK each year, I would be sorted. I’ve got a head start as have a house in SE UK that is currently tenanted. But doing part n part is fraught with complication 

It's certainly not easy, as Ramot says.  However it's not impossible.   Have you considered turning your UK home into an Airbnb?    There are companies which manage the whole thing for you, so you don't need to be there.  Let it as an Airbnb in the summer when there's high demand, and schedule your own visits in the quieter months.   Not having a car isn't so much of an issue these days, with companies like Carbar and Carly where you can hire a car for a block of weeks or months quite cheaply, and they take care of the insurance.

[Chortlepuss]

6 hours ago, ramot said:

Have been doing this for the last 13 years as our only grandchildren are in UK, not because we are unhappy in Australia,  it isn’t a cheap option, but at least easier as  it’s now possible to rent short term since Airbnb started up. We do own property in UK,  but it’s not worth getting good tenants to leave your property to live in it for 3’sh months and then have to find a new tenant. Financially it doesn’t make sense. Certainly doesn’t make sense either to leave a property empty for most of the year for all the obvious reasons.

We originally rented an Airbnb near our family, so now book directly with the owner and negotiate a long term rent, and hire a car, it’s not a cheap thing to do when you also factor in airfares, so careful thought.needs to be given as to how long you can realistically afford to go for.

 

Every time I go back to the UK  (last time 2 months, prior to that a year), I love it so I’m not worried about getting bored. I did look into Airbnb but the cost of renting a one bedder in my area for 3-4 months is about 2/3 of what I get in rent minus tax for a 3 bed house.  We’d be retired so kids not an issue (but grown up kids in Australia and potentially grandkids mean we need to stay here).  I like Marissa’s idea of renting ours out as a furnished let - or I could even look into academic year lets (we are near a university). Food for thought anyhow & entirely dependent on Covid situation easing by 2022...

[bug family]

9 hours ago, Chortlepuss said:

Maybe I should time share it amongst my fellow homesick expats? 

great idea chortlepuss

[bug family]

6 hours ago, ramot said:

I have experience of

a.     living between 2 countries

I did this for nearly 10 years as an expat as our children were in school and university in UK spending time in each house  in shortish  trips  trying to keep husband and children happy. Not to be recommended as it’s very unsettling you end up trying to please everyone and it’s a bandaid in a hard situation. It’s very unsettling as you don’t really live anywhere, torn between husband and children.

Its very different going back on holiday rarely and being made a fuss of, to going back regularly, when the novelty has worn off.I was very lonely at times.

b       Pre covid spending approximately 3 months in Uk 

Have been doing this for the last 13 years as our only grandchildren are in UK, not because we are unhappy in Australia,  it isn’t a cheap option, but at least easier as  it’s now possible to rent short term since Airbnb started up. We do own property in UK,  but it’s not worth getting good tenants to leave your property to live in it for 3’sh months and then have to find a new tenant. Financially it doesn’t make sense. Certainly doesn’t make sense either to leave a property empty for most of the year for all the obvious reasons.

We originally rented an Airbnb near our family, so now book directly with the owner and negotiate a long term rent, and hire a car, it’s not a cheap thing to do when you also factor in airfares, so careful thought.needs to be given as to how long you can realistically afford to go for.

 

I kick myself regularly Ramot,  because I did own a small cottage in north Wales with amazing views of the Irish sea, this had a mortgage on it.

I used an estate agents to let it out, but it needed work and the tenants they got where not the best at paying etc, it did not cover the mortgage or fees completely,  so i was struggling to pay for the house here and back home, I sadly sold it a few years back for a very small profit (basically broke even)....I know I could not afford to keep up paying for two places but i miss the place especially now as it would have been a base to start again from, it was also a lovely location and will have increased in value by now ...anyhooo onwards we go

[MARYROSE02]

On 17/01/2021 at 09:59, Bulya said:

Perth can be boring.  Why not move East where there’s a lot more variety and things to do?

I wonder what is is that makes a place "boring?" I know that "boring" is a subjective value. I have spent most of my time in Australia living in Sydney although I did start in Perth. Nearly forty years later I went back to Perth and spent about three months there spread over two trips three months apart. I suppose I would describe Perth to someone who knows Sydney as a smaller, less crowded, easier to drive in, version of Sydney.  But that might imply to someone bored with Perth that Sydney is like Perth but more boring!?

But now I have spent the last six months in Surfers Paradise, somewhere I had only spent brief holidays on before, and it is the closest I have been to "living the (fabled) dream." Now how could I describe Surfers Paradise to anybody who knows Sydney? Like living in Bondi Beach or Manly with warmer winters perhaps?

[Bulya]

2 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

I wonder what is is that makes a place "boring?" I know that "boring" is a subjective value. I have spent most of my time in Australia living in Sydney although I did start in Perth. Nearly forty years later I went back to Perth and spent about three months there spread over two trips three months apart. I suppose I would describe Perth to someone who knows Sydney as a smaller, less crowded, easier to drive in, version of Sydney.  But that might imply to someone bored with Perth that Sydney is like Perth but more boring!?

But now I have spent the last six months in Surfers Paradise, somewhere I had only spent brief holidays on before, and it is the closest I have been to "living the (fabled) dream." Now how could I describe Surfers Paradise to anybody who knows Sydney? Like living in Bondi Beach or Manly with warmer winters perhaps?

Sydney is nothing like Perth.

[Marisawright]

5 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

I wonder what is is that makes a place "boring?" I know that "boring" is a subjective value.

Yes, exactly.   Everyone has different interests.  I would be bored to tears in a small beachside town, whereas someone who loves swimming/sailing/fishing would be busy all the time. Likewise they'd be bored in a big inland city like London or Vienna, far from the seaside actvities they enjoy - whereas I'd find heaps of things to do.

It sounds as though Surfers is a good match for the kind of lifestyle you like, which is good to hear.  

I think it's obvious that the larger the city, the more activities will be running.  A small city might have only one theatre whereas a big city will have five, so you've immediately got more choice.  A small city might have only one dance teacher and if you don't like her style, bad luck - whereas a large city will have twenty, so you're bound to find one you like.  A small country town will have a Chinese restaurant and a kebab shop, a large city will have hundreds of eateries.  Also a large city is constantly changing. 

I think people who find Perth boring are restless people like me, who are always looking for new things to do and new places to visit.  

[MARYROSE02]

5 hours ago, Bulya said:

Sydney is nothing like Perth.

Or Perth is nothing like Sydney!  I never really enjoyed driving anywhere in Sydney but in Perth, outside of what they laughingly refer to as "rush hour"* driving was a pleasure and I re-discovered the concept of just going out "for a drive." I did have to get  used to the idea of pubs closing before midnight but that is probably a good thing.

* Perhaps that is patronising of me because commuting is rarely a pleasure, but in Perth, every arvo, I used to go out for a drive somewhere, which I would rarely do in Sydney.

Edited January 18, 2021 by MARYROSE02

[MARYROSE02]

2 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Yes, exactly.   Everyone has different interests.  I would be bored to tears in a small beachside town, whereas someone wSurferho loves swimming/sailing/fishing would be busy all the time. Likewise they'd be bored in a big inland city like London or Vienna, far from the seaside actvities they enjoy - whereas I'd find heaps of things to do.

It sounds as though Surfers is a good match for the kind of lifestyle you like, which is good to hear.  

I think it's obvious that the larger the city, the more activities will be running.  A small city might have only one theatre whereas a big city will have five, so you've immediately got more choice.  A small city might have only one dance teacher and if you don't like her style, bad luck - whereas a large city will have twenty, so you're bound to find one you like.  A small country town will have a Chinese restaurant and a kebab shop, a large city will have hundreds of eateries.  Also a large city is constantly changing. 

I think people who find Perth boring are restless people like me, who are always looking for new things to do and new places to visit.  

It looks like we will have have to put up with living in OZ, regardless of how boring it is, as i read in the Daily Mail, "no overseas travel till 2022?"

Surfers is a strange place in that, for example, there is a plethora of restaurants and bars, with plenty more in Broadbeach, but perhaps little in the way of "cultural" activities. It's like a country town in some respects but the traffic is as bad or worse than Sydney. Perhaps it's the opposite of places like Sydney and, as soon as the school holidays end, the traffic will decrease not increase?!

There is little in the way of "history" here, at least in the sense of measuring it in centuries, although it's just as interesting to study modern history. I still regret not choosing 20th century Australia when I first went to UNSW in 1982, preferring European history from 16th to 18th centuries. 

There's a street I like to walk down to look at two "houses" as opposed to tower blocks. You rarely see homes here, now that most have been redeveloped. For all that I enjoy walking around as much as anywhere else I've been to.

[Marisawright]

6 hours ago, MARYROSE02 said:

It looks like we will have have to put up with living in OZ, regardless of how boring it is, as i read in the Daily Mail, "no overseas travel till 2022?"

Yes, I heard the health minister say the borders are likely to stay closed for most of this year.  I think Australia is only boring if you're stuck in a city or town that doesn't suit your interests (or if you're so homesick that nothing feels right).  

[Bulya]

11 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Yes, exactly.   Everyone has different interests.  I would be bored to tears in a small beachside town, whereas someone who loves swimming/sailing/fishing would be busy all the time. Likewise they'd be bored in a big inland city like London or Vienna, far from the seaside actvities they enjoy - whereas I'd find heaps of things to do.

It sounds as though Surfers is a good match for the kind of lifestyle you like, which is good to hear.  

I think it's obvious that the larger the city, the more activities will be running.  A small city might have only one theatre whereas a big city will have five, so you've immediately got more choice.  A small city might have only one dance teacher and if you don't like her style, bad luck - whereas a large city will have twenty, so you're bound to find one you like.  A small country town will have a Chinese restaurant and a kebab shop, a large city will have hundreds of eateries.  Also a large city is constantly changing. 

I think people who find Perth boring are restless people like me, who are always looking for new things to do and new places to visit.  

That’s me.  I had some great times in Perth, but the tyranny of distance would soon come into play if you lived there.  

[Paul1Perth]

On 17/01/2021 at 11:28, Bulya said:

For the majority.  It’s limited. 

Why?