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The Pom Queen

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Today I had to attend the emergency department at the hospital. At the entrance they have all the COVID screening set up and wouldn’t allow Cerberus in with me. So they sent a nurse outside to get me and wheel me in. Fair enough, I’m a big girl and use to hospitals. However, there was a young couple with a new baby which was very sick and they told them only one parent could enter the hospital and the other had to go home. Well the father got very angry and upset, not violent just verbal so the nurse called security and 4 big guys came and took the guy away leaving a very upset young mum with a very sick baby. 
‘I felt so sorry for them, I know rules are rules but I couldn’t imagine being told I had to leave my baby at the door. 😞 

I feel the hospital were in the wrong with how it was handled. It was heartbreaking seeing the young dad dragged off with security. 
‘I don’t know about you but I feel police/security etc are a lot more heavy handed since COVID. Look at the latest heavy handed police incidents this last few weeks this one being the latest https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-09-14/arrest-to-be-examined-by-victoria-police-professional-standards/12661334

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If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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4 hours ago, Johndoe said:

Pretty weird "one parent rule". The one they let in could be covid positive and the one they excluded not?

Agree but it stands to reason, the more people you let in the higher the chances of there being a covid carrier. 

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4 hours ago, The Pom Queen said:

Today I had to attend the emergency department at the hospital. At the entrance they have all the COVID screening set up and wouldn’t allow Cerberus in with me. So they sent a nurse outside to get me and wheel me in. Fair enough, I’m a big girl and use to hospitals. However, there was a young couple with a new baby which was very sick and they told them only one parent could enter the hospital and the other had to go home. Well the father got very angry and upset, not violent just verbal so the nurse called security and 4 big guys came and took the guy away leaving a very upset young mum with a very sick baby. 
‘I felt so sorry for them, I know rules are rules but I couldn’t imagine being told I had to leave my baby at the door. 😞 

I feel the hospital were in the wrong with how it was handled. It was heartbreaking seeing the young dad dragged off with security. 
‘I don’t know about you but I feel police/security etc are a lot more heavy handed since COVID. Look at the latest heavy handed police incidents this last few weeks this one being the latest https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-09-14/arrest-to-be-examined-by-victoria-police-professional-standards/12661334

I can see it both ways. It must be terrible for the parents but in tough times sacrifices have to be made. The most important thing in that situation is that the baby was in the hands of the good doctors. Many across the world have had treatments delayed, sometimes with drastic consequences, all due to the need to have as few people as possible in the hospitals. Based on that it is reasonable that people go in alone where possible and nice as it would be for both parents to be there with the baby, it was not essential in critical times such as this. It is sad that the dad was dragged off by security but whilst I appreciate he was upset and angry, he was still being verbally aggressive to medical staff who had little choice but to call for help. He was wrong to do that, they were after all trying to protect and care for his baby, the community as a whole and themselves. 

Edited by Tulip1
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4 hours ago, Tulip1 said:

Agree but it stands to reason, the more people you let in the higher the chances of there being a covid carrier. 

Not only that, if someone else in the hospital is Covid positive then the more people in there the more people that are likely to become infected.

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Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.

Dale Carnegie – 1888-1955, Author and Lecturer

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Arbitrary rules for rules sake. Sick children need a carer tag team when in hospital imo. One parent needs the emotional support of another person. 

Edited by HappyHeart
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12 hours ago, Johndoe said:

Pretty weird "one parent rule". The one they let in could be covid positive and the one they excluded not?

This was my thinking 🤔 They are a family unit who have been isolated together, I could understand if it was grandparents also with them. 

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If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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2 hours ago, The Pom Queen said:

This was my thinking 🤔 They are a family unit who have been isolated together, I could understand if it was grandparents also with them. 

Do we know they’ve been isolating together? The dad could have been down the pub wetting the babies head several times over the last few days. 

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6 hours ago, HappyHeart said:

Arbitrary rules for rules sake. Sick children need a carer tag team when in hospital imo. One parent needs the emotional support of another person. 

A sick newborn doesn’t need both parents with them at all times. They’d have no idea whether both parents were there or not. They don’t even know what a parent is as a newborn so won’t be upset because dad couldn’t stay. Of course one should be with them but two isn’t necessary. It would be nicer of course as the parents could provide each other with support but thats not the same as essential. These are tough times and sacrifices have to be made to keep as many people as possible safe. Emotional support can be provided from a distance too. What if the dad was working away/in the military and not due home for months. Mum would go into hospital with baby and all would be fine. Good on the hospital for standing their ground for the safety of others. They would have felt bad for the dad, they weren’t being arseholes on some power happy trip, they were doing what was right. It’s not rules for rules sake. It’s rules for saving life’s sake.  

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On 17/09/2020 at 15:58, Tulip1 said:

A sick newborn doesn’t need both parents with them at all times. They’d have no idea whether both parents were there or not. They don’t even know what a parent is as a newborn so won’t be upset because dad couldn’t stay. Of course one should be with them but two isn’t necessary. It would be nicer of course as the parents could provide each other with support but thats not the same as essential. These are tough times and sacrifices have to be made to keep as many people as possible safe. Emotional support can be provided from a distance too. What if the dad was working away/in the military and not due home for months. Mum would go into hospital with baby and all would be fine. Good on the hospital for standing their ground for the safety of others. They would have felt bad for the dad, they weren’t being arseholes on some power happy trip, they were doing what was right. It’s not rules for rules sake. It’s rules for saving life’s sake.  

Have you ever had a sick child rushed to hospital. Fair enough the baby may not be old enough to understand but having to decide on which of you gets to stay. What if the child only had hours to live, the nurse couldn’t tell that from the door. I understand there are rules but like I said it’s hard to leave your sick child and walk away.

For my situation it was silly, I’m in a wheelchair need someone to push me, hubby was turned away because they would only allow a PAID carer in with me and because I didn’t have a PAID carer with me then they had to call a nurse from inside to come out and wheel me in. 
‘Now I could have argued and I could have lied but like I said earlier I’m use to hospitals and being alone. 
‘The rule of accepting only a paid carer is ridiculous, a paid carer may visit 20 - 30 clients and households a week, going out in public shopping/entertaining etc. 

 

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If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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3 hours ago, The Pom Queen said:

Have you ever had a sick child rushed to hospital. Fair enough the baby may not be old enough to understand but having to decide on which of you gets to stay. What if the child only had hours to live, the nurse couldn’t tell that from the door. I understand there are rules but like I said it’s hard to leave your sick child and walk away.

For my situation it was silly, I’m in a wheelchair need someone to push me, hubby was turned away because they would only allow a PAID carer in with me and because I didn’t have a PAID carer with me then they had to call a nurse from inside to come out and wheel me in. 
‘Now I could have argued and I could have lied but like I said earlier I’m use to hospitals and being alone. 
‘The rule of accepting only a paid carer is ridiculous, a paid carer may visit 20 - 30 clients and households a week, going out in public shopping/entertaining etc. 

 

Yes I have had a sick child rushed to hospital.  They had to stay in as it was serious. I stayed there with them and their dad went home and looked after our other child.  Whilst he’d have liked to be there too, we had no one who could look after the other one overnight so he did. That would probably happen with many sick little ones if there was another child that needed looking after. Not everyone has on demand round the clock babysitters in that situation.  My small sick child soon got better and we went home. He’s in his 30’s now and he has had no negative effects to his dad not being there. In fact, I’m not sure he’d have been bothered that I was there once he started to improve. He seemed to much prefer the nurses who let him watch Thomas the Tank Engine videos on repeat for hours on end whilst feeding him copious amounts of sweets (probably not the acceptable thing these days)  

I agree with you about the carer thing. I have been my mums carer for the last few years.  Just over two months ago her dementia took a big dip and it was obvious that she could no longer live on her own. Even with the carers I’d arranged to go in to see her twice a day and me calling in each day, she’d got to the point it wasn’t safe and I had to arrange for her to go into a care home. It has been one of the worst periods I can remember and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. She’s been in the care home now for 4 weeks and has an appointment at the hospital eye clinic for an eye injection as she has masculsr degeneration. I’ve always taken her to them and stayed with her as she doesn’t really understand what’s happening. The care home wont allow me to take her. They are lovely and feel terrible about it but their policy is no resident can be in a family members car. I understand that. Imagine if I had COVID, gave it to her and she gave it to 60 other residents. Their policy is a carer from the home takes the patient for hospital appointments.  My mum won’t understand and will be terrified but it is what it is. I can’t change it and I understand that these policy’s are in place for the right reasons.  I agree with you that a paid carer is perhaps a higher risk than a family member. I guess the difference is they have to visit/attend to them anyway so there’s no more risk. It’s sad that parents and carers can’t be with their loved ones at bad times but we have to accept none of these decisions are in place just for a laugh. Sometimes tough measures have to be accepted for the good of others. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Really there is no excuse for particularly a man but anyone, getting aggressive and abusive to a nurse or medical person who is just advising of the rules.

There is a real problem in this country of paramedics and medical staff being physically assaulted while just doing their jobs trying to help people.

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On 17/09/2020 at 08:55, NicF said:

Not only that, if someone else in the hospital is Covid positive then the more people in there the more people that are likely to become infected.

I think this is probably the reason for the limit.  Often, the patient is taken into a room and the people accompanying have to wait in a corridor.  Let one person in and they'll sit anxiously waiting, because they've got no choice.  Let two people in and the second person doesn't have to sit still - and when you're anxious, you want something to take your mind off it. So the second person will go off in search of a coffee, go out for a smoke, pace the corridor, etc.  Much more risk of interaction, and more people to track down if there is an infection in the hospital.

As Parley says, the bottom line is that even if he was refused, there was no excuse for him getting aggressive or abusive anyway.

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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On 17/09/2020 at 07:12, HappyHeart said:

Arbitrary rules for rules sake. Sick children need a carer tag team when in hospital imo. One parent needs the emotional support of another person. 

Totally agree, when my child was very young and having emergency surgery I had to be there no question but I was a mess of emotions,  my husband was able to keep me calm so I could then be calm and reassuring for my child, he was a complete rock and possibly much help to the medical team keeping both mine and my daughters emotions at bay.  Will add I’m a Nurse but when it’s your child I found my rational thoughts and knowledge simply flew out the window..

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I will also add that yes rules are there whether we agree or not, perhaps the situation was handled poorly, the father was clearly distressed and wanted to be with his child, quite rightly, but rather than calling security and making the situation worse there perhaps could have been some de-escalation tactics used, some negotiation around go and get a coffee, give me your number, we will call you and keep you updated, you can swap out with your partner and keep relieving each other for breaks, it’s a difficult situation in the current times, hospital staff should never ever feel threatened and if they do then quite rightly security should be called but I’m just thinking from what you have said that perhaps this could maybe have been handled differently.....

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11 hours ago, Phoenix16 said:

I will also add that yes rules are there whether we agree or not, perhaps the situation was handled poorly, the father was clearly distressed and wanted to be with his child, quite rightly, but rather than calling security and making the situation worse there perhaps could have been some de-escalation tactics used, some negotiation around go and get a coffee, give me your number, we will call you and keep you updated, you can swap out with your partner and keep relieving each other for breaks, it’s a difficult situation in the current times, hospital staff should never ever feel threatened and if they do then quite rightly security should be called but I’m just thinking from what you have said that perhaps this could maybe have been handled differently.....

I agree that it sounds like it could have been handled better, but with serious aggressive incidents happening in our ED's so regularly, there has to be zero tolerance.  Sometimes knowing de-escalation techniques can escape you when faced with aggression of any sort - the staff member may have experienced a flight or fight response and did the safest thing for them and those around them at the time.  

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I just want PIO to be a happy place where people are nice to each other and unicorns poop rainbows

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There is nothing from the posters comments to suggest the situation wasn’t handled well and could have been handled better. The only thing we know is the parents of the child were advised only one could go in which resulted in the father getting very angry and verbal.  The staff obviously felt they had no option but to call for help.  They deserve to work in a safe environment and have every right to adhere to the Covid guidelines without some bloke kicking off at them. The parents were understandably worried about their baby and tensions were high but what happened was not the fault in anyway of the staff. 

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We had to have an old and beloved pet put down today and only one of us was allowed in .  We just accepted it because the surgery is small and with the vet, the vet nurse and 2 people it would have been pretty crowded. Where we live there has been very few Covid cases, 2 last time I looked in the whole area.

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17 hours ago, starlight7 said:

We had to have an old and beloved pet put down today and only one of us was allowed in .  We just accepted it because the surgery is small and with the vet, the vet nurse and 2 people it would have been pretty crowded. Where we live there has been very few Covid cases, 2 last time I looked in the whole area.

So sorry about your beloved pet. it's almost as bad as losing a member of the family.

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