Homesick1 Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 I wanted to get some advice from anyone who has recently returned to the UK or is thinking about a move during Covid. My family & I moved out here 9 years ago and have gone back to visit our families every other Christmas. We have citizenship but I always imagined that we’d return sooner rather than later, but life takes over & we’ve always had a reason to stay (always based around what’s best for the kids). However, my partner & I are more homesick than ever & have decided that we need to stop making excuses & just head home whilst we still can (kids are 11 & 18 so can start high school & work/ further study over in the UK). They were on board at first as they wanted to be closer to family, but have since changed their mind. The main problem is that our youngest has some amazing friends & is absolutely heartbroken at the mere thought of leaving them behind. She is doing amazingly well at school & has never had any friendship issues so we are naturally quite anxious about putting her into a the British secondary school system, especially during covid & Brexit! We have spent years making excuses to stay based around my eldest’s education & we really wish we’d moved back when he was younger so we are determined not to make the same mistake again, but it’s so hard to turn life on its head when kids are so settled & happy. Another complication is that we have a dog to take with us too. I’m really hoping to leave in the next four weeks but I’ve heard that transporting the dog can be a nightmare at the mo. Let me know about your experiences & how you coped with the changes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 Hi .. I have moved your post to the Moving to the Uk section as i think you will get more response here from those who have made the move back . Cal x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 We returned in 2016 after 8 years. To be honest, it was fairly smooth, given we only made the decision a week before the move. The dog though might be tricky if he hasn’t had his rabies jab yet. I would contact some of the pet shipping companies ASAP. We used Dogtainers who were fantastic Do forget you will also need an exemption to leave the country and these are not an automatic thing and people have found they need multiple applications to get a grant. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 Pre teens are always going to be anxious at leaving their friends - chances are they are going to be moving away from those friends anyway as high school looms, so I wouldn’t be overly worried about that. Further education for the 18 year old could be more of an issue - international fees for Uni if that is what they are thinking, for example. We basically went to U.K. 9years ago next Monday and didn’t return until March 17 this year - so our situation was very different, no kids, retirement age etc but it was the best thing that ever happened to us (and I say us even though the DH hated the thought of living in UK) back in the day it was a relative doddle - I think C19 is definitely a complicating factor and it makes things so much more unknown. Good luck with whatever you decide! If you don’t go now, you won’t go at all I suspect. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip1 Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 Your 11 year old will be fine. Yes it’s not what they want and it will be hard for them to start with but they will make new friends. Many people have different friends at 16 than they had at 11 even if they still live in the same place. Kids friendships move on. The older one will have it harder I think. If going to uni then ok as no one knows anyone else but as has been mentioned, that will be a costly thing as he will be an international student. If he goes into the workforce he will be ok as most don’t know their colleagues prior to getting a job. The making friends will be harder than for your younger one as they have a whole school full of potential friends. The 18 year old will have to put themselves out there, join clubs etc to meet people. Either way if you decide to return they have no choice, well the 11 year old doesn’t. I assume you have got your citizenship? Please don’t return without that for your kids sake if nothing else. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homesick1 Posted August 28, 2020 Author Share Posted August 28, 2020 Thank you for your helpful comments. We do have our citizenship so we can always move back in a few years if we wanted to. I know that the younger once will be fine once we get there but I am dreading the goodbyes as she has been close to her group of friends for so long. I’m also worried that she’ll struggle to fit in because of her Aussie accent - difference tends to make teens a target from what I remember. My eldest has some long term friends here but he doesn’t spend much time with them. I’m sure he will make friends through work / college In the UK but I’m not sure he’ll adjust to the lifestyle as easily (we live in a small town in the north east of England so it’s a little different to the Gold Coast!). I applied for an exemption to leave & was granted as I could demonstrate that I was planning on leaving Australia permanently (I sent them a copy of the school placement letter for my daughter). I’m trying to make England sound appealing to them both but after Brexit & covid, I’m not sure what the quality of life will be like over there. Still, these doubts do little to shake the feelings of homesickness & loneliness at not having family so I can’t see any other way! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 12 hours ago, VERYSTORMY said: you will also need an exemption to leave the country and these are not an automatic thing and people have found they need multiple applications to get a grant. I haven’t heard of anyone being refused if they are leaving permanently, provided they submit adequate evidence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homesick1 Posted August 29, 2020 Author Share Posted August 29, 2020 5 hours ago, Marisawright said: I haven’t heard of anyone being refused if they are leaving permanently, provided they submit adequate evidence We have been approved as we sent proof that our child was enrolled in a school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKC Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 We moved back three years ago with an 11 year old and a 9 year old. The goodbyes were hard, of course, but new friends were soon made and they settled easily into life here. They stayed in touch with their Aus friends for a while, but it petered out eventually. We live in Scotland, eldest has an English accent (ex and I are both English, and she never really picked up the Aussie accent despite having lived there for 9 years), and youngest has an Aussie accent, and neither have been picked up or singled out because of how they speak. I know we're in Scotland rather than England, but really life is great here. Yes, there is uncertainty with regards to Brexit, and of course we're in the midst of a pandemic, but I'm honestly of the opinion that moving here was the best thing I've ever done! We've settled, made new friends, I've retrained for a new job and got the first two part-time jobs I interviewed for (after 12 years at home with the kids, with no actual experience in the field, and in the midst of the Brexit/pandemic uncertainty), and although ex and I separated, that would have happened wherever we had been, and I am thankful that it happened on home soil, as it were. Life is too short to be unhappy. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homesick1 Posted August 29, 2020 Author Share Posted August 29, 2020 Thank you for your thorough response. You have certainly helped to put my mind at ease. Sorry to hear of your separation - I can imagine it was made easier by having the support of good friends & family. My friends and family think we’re bloody mad to be heading back but I guess home really is where the heart is. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 43 minutes ago, Homesick1 said: My friends and family think we’re bloody mad to be heading back but I guess home really is where the heart is. It's a shame, I see too many people staying in Australia because "friends and family think I'd be mad to leave". . In the UK, Australia is still some mythical paradise - they equate sunshine with happiness and can't see past that - so you can't let their uninformed opinion decide what's right for you. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 (edited) 29 minutes ago, Marisawright said: It's a shame, I see too many people staying in Australia because "friends and family think I'd be mad to leave". . In the UK, Australia is still some mythical paradise - they equate sunshine with happiness and can't see past that - so you can't let their uninformed opinion decide what's right for you. They equate sunshine with happiness because of their 2 weeks holiday in the sun in Spain, without a care in the world for 2 weeks. Quite frankly anyone who is swayed from making a life changing decision based friends or family’s opinions doesn’t really want to move. Different circumstances My daughter who is now 40, had to chop and change schools, obviously senior school age 11 from primary school, then age 13, then again age 15, followed by a 1 year course before university. She was on her own in UK as we were overseas, only joining us for holidays. It wasn’t easy at times, but she made friends each time, including all the other ex pat children on school holidays. she lost contact with many but also kept in touch with others.Loads of children have to adjust to new schools and countries. Children are more resilient than we realise, Edited August 29, 2020 by ramot 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKC Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 11 hours ago, ramot said: They equate sunshine with happiness because of their 2 weeks holiday in the sun in Spain, without a care in the world for 2 weeks. This with bells on! My mum once said to me 'It's alright for you. You live in a holiday place', because she'd assumed that living in Sydney meant that we spent every minute at the beach, in the pool or having barbecues in the sunshine, while she was living a life of every day drudgery back in the grey old UK. That might be true for some people, but for the vast majority, the phrase 'same sh*t, shinier bucket' comes to mind. You still have to go to work, take the kids to school, mow the lawn, do the housework, the shopping and the cooking, and the thousand other banal tasks that everyday life throws up. For me, it wasn't even a shinier bucket in the end. I've lost count of the number of people who've told me we were mad to move back to the UK, both before and since our move. However, unless you've lived it and experienced those feelings for yourself, it isn't really possible to understand them. Life here is immeasurably better than it was in Aus, and I don't regret moving to Scotland one tiny bit! 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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