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Sudden pull to move back to UK after 8 years in Aus

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6 minutes ago, bug family said:

Sorry Paul, How would I know what the suburb is like if I am from the other side of the world, and secondly this suburb virtually did not exist it was a patch of sand, how do I judge what it is going to be like if it wasn't built yet? 😏

I think he was speaking in general - though personally, I would avoid a suburb that hadn't been developed yet, as they normally lack infrastructure and are soulless.  However, I do understand that sometimes, it's the only affordable option at the time. 

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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21 minutes ago, bug family said:

because I am not a selfish person and this is not all about me Toots but thanks for your understanding 😦

Surely your partner/wife knows how miserable you are in the suburb you detest.  I understand that you can't leave your children but surely she could make life a bit more bearable for you by moving to a place somewhere in Perth where you would be happier and not so fed up.  It wouldn't be the UK but a place with a bit more life about it might help your mental health. 

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9 minutes ago, Toots said:

might help your mental health.  

Thanks Toots, but mentally I am fine 🤪 ...I have always been lucky like that I have never really suffered with depression, everyone gets down now and again me included and I am aware of this, I find this site helps with this, I can come on and read like minded posts, which helps in that it makes you realise you are not alone in your feelings you just belong to this 'homesick club'......me, as we are all aware by now 🤣 I miss home ...and somedays more than others especially with how Covid is affecting those back home, ...today must be one of those bad days 😉

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We had a wonderful trip back to the uk this time last year and we said our ‘goodbyes’ knowing it is just too far to travel for us now. I will always miss the history and things like pubs, little villages, Herdwick  sheep and strange things like that but our life has been here mostly since we were young parents and we knew when we emigrated that that was that and we would never return to live. Everyone was the same then and I suspect that is how it will be again for postCovid migrants. It helps, it really does, not to have a choice and not to look back. 

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2 hours ago, bug family said:

Unfortunately Cal the cost to me would not be a financial one, if it was that easy i would have gone home ages ago....i can't exactly sell up my children, therefore I am stuck 🙄

Oh i dont know, ive debated selling my kids a few times! lol. Only joking...

I do hope things work out for you, keep your chin up.

  Cal x

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If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place...

If you get a chance,take it, If it changes your life,let it. Nobody said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it...

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19 hours ago, Toots said:

It was a real eye opener for me I can tell you.  The people I knew who couldn't settle - usually after having babies - went back "home" and that was that.  I didn't know of anyone who was trapped but reading some of the posts on PIO from unhappy, homesick people who feel trapped was disturbing as I'd never really thought about it before.  Terrible situation to be in.

I am one of those who has made the decision to return to the Uk. I will be returning on my own. Partner of 12 years is staying in Oz. Tried for 11 years but the birth of my grandson 5 years ago was the biggest pull to return. I do have the big house, acreage & a well paid job, but the ache inside to go home has grown stronger. It’s so hard to explain. I know when I return in December, I will need to be prepared for the big question ‘why would you leave Australia, the big house etc’ to come back to live in the UK? 

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4 minutes ago, Senfield said:

I am one of those who has made the decision to return to the Uk. I will be returning on my own. Partner of 12 years is staying in Oz. Tried for 11 years but the birth of my grandson 5 years ago was the biggest pull to return. I do have the big house, acreage & a well paid job, but the ache inside to go home has grown stronger. It’s so hard to explain. I know when I return in December, I will need to be prepared for the big question ‘why would you leave Australia, the big house etc’ to come back to live in the UK? 

All the very best on your return to the UK Senfield.  😀  Please keep in touch and let us know how you settle in once you are back.

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2 hours ago, Senfield said:

I am one of those who has made the decision to return to the Uk. I will be returning on my own. Partner of 12 years is staying in Oz. Tried for 11 years but the birth of my grandson 5 years ago was the biggest pull to return. I do have the big house, acreage & a well paid job, but the ache inside to go home has grown stronger. It’s so hard to explain. I know when I return in December, I will need to be prepared for the big question ‘why would you leave Australia, the big house etc’ to come back to live in the UK? 

You'll be fine!  Just have a quick one liner to reply - like "yes thank God I escaped" or "have you ever actually lived in Australia??" or "been watching a lot of Home and Away have you?"  I found that most people did a bit of a double take once they've asked the usual inane question and not got the response they anticipated.

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19 hours ago, bug family said:

Thanks Toots, but mentally I am fine 🤪 ...I have always been lucky like that I have never really suffered with depression, everyone gets down now and again me included and I am aware of this, I find this site helps with this, I can come on and read like minded posts, which helps in that it makes you realise you are not alone in your feelings you just belong to this 'homesick club'......me, as we are all aware by now 🤣 I miss home ...and somedays more than others especially with how Covid is affecting those back home, ...today must be one of those bad days 😉

I thought that mentally I was fine until I wasnt depressed any more and realised just how mentally un-fine I actually was.  I was using all the mental health tricks in my toolbox to make it through every day as a matter of course.  I agree though, one of the lightbulb moments for me was knowing that I wasnt Robinson Crusoe and it was OK to talk about it.  All the best to you, hope it gets better!

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On 24/10/2020 at 12:33, bug family said:

Sorry Paul, How would I know what the suburb is like if I am from the other side of the world, and secondly this suburb virtually did not exist it was a patch of sand, how do I judge what it is going to be like if it wasn't built yet? 😏

Didn't you have a look round and rent first?

You moved, as you say, to the other side of the world and just jumped in to a suburb that didn't exist? If you were moving somewhere in the UK you would do more research than that.

It's pretty easy to rent for a while and have a good look round. We did exactly that, looked North, South, knew we wanted to be near the ocean, found somewhere that suited us and we've loved it ever since.

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On 23/10/2020 at 13:46, s713 said:

Probably finance. The suburbs in the far North and South are like that, and people move there because they're affordable. You can get a house like that, near the coast, for $500k. BUT, you're stuck in suburbia, it's crap. If you want the hills, or the western suburbs, the price is hiked. We lived in Joondalup and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I'd always advise anyone to get a smaller pad in Mt Lawley, Freo, Applecross etc. than get a McMansion in one of those suburban areas.

Joondalup is fine. Some of the others you mention are really expensive, near the river not the Ocean. We have friends in Applecross. Lovely suburb but too far from the beach for us.

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On 25/10/2020 at 22:49, Paul1Perth said:

Joondalup is fine. Some of the others you mention are really expensive, near the river not the Ocean. We have friends in Applecross. Lovely suburb but too far from the beach for us.

Joondalup is fine if you've moved from Chernobyl. That's about it. Those other suburbs are expensive, there's a reason for that, that's why I'd rather have a small place there than a mansion in Joondalup or Burns Beach or similar.

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15 minutes ago, s713 said:

Joondalup is fine if you've moved from Chernobyl. That's about it. Those other suburbs are expensive, there's a reason for that, that's why I'd rather have a small place there than a mansion in Joondalup or Burns Beach or similar.

Don't know what you want mate. Joondalup has a good university with great parkland, lake and parklands right next to the city, outdoor cinema, massive shopping centre if you like shopping, cafes, restaurants, pubs, not even too bad traffic, golf courses, swimming pools, leisure centre. Chernobyl😆

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That's brochure talk Paul, the reality is much different. To call it a City is a stretch in the extreme, it's about a 400 yard length of Salvos and chippys. The pubs and restaurants are crap, the leisure centre is OK bit outdated now, I don't play golf, I don't go to Uni. We moved there as it was advertised as a Perth satellite (before we knew what Perth was like) but it was a ghost town. Absolutely dead of a weekend apart from the shopping centre. And if the best thing in your life is a shopping centre, time to re-evaluate.

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42 minutes ago, s713 said:

Joondalup is fine if you've moved from Chernobyl. That's about it. Those other suburbs are expensive, there's a reason for that, that's why I'd rather have a small place there than a mansion in Joondalup or Burns Beach or similar.

Is Burns Beach now a suburb of Perth?  It was in the boonies when we lived there.  Ocean Reef was the last suburb to pass through on the way to Yanchep.

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8 minutes ago, Toots said:

Is Burns Beach now a suburb of Perth?  It was in the boonies when we lived there.  Ocean Reef was the last suburb to pass through on the way to Yanchep.

Goes further than that now, up to Yanchep or so. I think the 'dream' is that one day, the Metro will extend to Jurien Bay 😁

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12 hours ago, s713 said:

That's brochure talk Paul, the reality is much different. To call it a City is a stretch in the extreme, it's about a 400 yard length of Salvos and chippys. The pubs and restaurants are crap, the leisure centre is OK bit outdated now, I don't play golf, I don't go to Uni. We moved there as it was advertised as a Perth satellite (before we knew what Perth was like) but it was a ghost town. Absolutely dead of a weekend apart from the shopping centre. And if the best thing in your life is a shopping centre, time to re-evaluate.

I'll agree with the shopping centre, hardly been, I don't much like shopping myself but all the other stuff is there.

The pubs and restaurants aren't crap, they are mostly filled with ex-pats too, it's like a night out in Manchester or Liverpool. Try the two fat indians curry place. One of the best we've had anywhere and Culture can't be beaten for value, even their beer is cheap.

What do you do for enjoyment mate, certainly not sport as there's heaps going on.

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12 hours ago, Toots said:

Is Burns Beach now a suburb of Perth?  It was in the boonies when we lived there.  Ocean Reef was the last suburb to pass through on the way to Yanchep.

You wouldn't recognise it now Toots. Marmion Ave is a really busy dual carriageway that goes all the way to Yanchep. Suburbs galore all the way up. Not only up and down the coast but inland too. We had to go to Wanneroo yesterday and came back down Ocean Reef road. There's a flyover over Wanneroo rd that goes out to Ellenbrook. Now there is a place that, to me, has nothing going for it. Way too far from the beach, have to get in the car to go anywhere, really hot in summer. We have friends who live there and we went to his 60th not long ago. They have a really big place that backs on to the Vines golf course, can't see the house from the electric gate, massive yard, big pool. They love it and they moved from a semi in Manchester about 15 years ago, so they think it's splendid.

I think most poms that moved from any rundown town in the UK and settled in Joondalup would think they'd been transported to utopia. Our nearest "town" was Hyde, Stockport fairly close too. Both of them really run  down and drab. My wife works at Joondalup Hospital which is massive now. Used to be the old Wanneroo hospital. We took our son there when we'd not been here long, he had an asthma attack in the middle of the night. We couldn't find the hospital then, it was up a dirt track and just had a few buildings. Joondalup was really strange then, about 93 it was. All the roads, dual carriageways mostly, were in with lights but no buildings. It was surreal.

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5 minutes ago, Paul1Perth said:

You wouldn't recognise it now Toots. Marmion Ave is a really busy dual carriageway that goes all the way to Yanchep. Suburbs galore all the way up. Not only up and down the coast but inland too. We had to go to Wanneroo yesterday and came back down Ocean Reef road. There's a flyover over Wanneroo rd that goes out to Ellenbrook. Now there is a place that, to me, has nothing going for it. Way too far from the beach, have to get in the car to go anywhere, really hot in summer. We have friends who live there and we went to his 60th not long ago. They have a really big place that backs on to the Vines golf course, can't see the house from the electric gate, massive yard, big pool. They love it and they moved from a semi in Manchester about 15 years ago, so they think it's splendid.

I think most poms that moved from any rundown town in the UK and settled in Joondalup would think they'd been transported to utopia. Our nearest "town" was Hyde, Stockport fairly close too. Both of them really run  down and drab. My wife works at Joondalup Hospital which is massive now. Used to be the old Wanneroo hospital. We took our son there when we'd not been here long, he had an asthma attack in the middle of the night. We couldn't find the hospital then, it was up a dirt track and just had a few buildings. Joondalup was really strange then, about 93 it was. All the roads, dual carriageways mostly, were in with lights but no buildings. It was surreal.

Big changes since we left Paul.  I used to go to Perth a couple of times a year for my job when I worked in Sydney but only got as far as Perth CBD.    

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On 13/07/2020 at 07:02, RosieH11 said:

Yes honestly i think Covid situation whether is affects us directly or not is the main reason for major anxiety for millions of people right now, i have been fortunate to be working throughout it all all so have somewhat kept my mind busy, however i still feel like what am i working for? We earn money for what end if we cannot enjoy life? Nothing to look forward to? then i went down a really dark hole of feeling guilty as their are people in terrible situation in countries where there is no hope for freedoms even way before Covid. i know this sounds very dramatic but honestly i started just feeling like working all hour god sends is pointless. But then i felt i had to tell someone how i felt and i mentioned this to some of my work mates and friends and they all said they felt the same way! Its defiantly having our freedoms restricted has caused this.Lets just hope it only temporary x

 

My long term relationship broke down, we had just got our PR a month before, we were i though on cloud 9 and then i caught him cheating on me and that was it, over, I kicked him out! it was  truely awful time. A few months went by and i realised i was just so depressed and I just needed to get away, i went on holiday to Thailand on my own and decided i was going to travel for a while and i just never went back. I spent 5 months travelling then came back to the UK to visit family... fully intended to go back to Aus and start life again but then I met a boy in the UK,  fell in love and got stuck for now 3 years ...  🙂  this boy was an old school friend from 15 years ago! its funny how life turns out ! Still i never really felt settled in the UK and i miss the beach! There some nice beaches in UK but they are so packed all the time... i miss big empty beaches of Queensland! We want to return together but its proving quite difficult in the current climate. One piece of advice il give you is if you don't yet have Aussie citizenship, and your in the position to get it and soon then please get it before you leave! At least then you can always come back if you do decide to leave, I didn't get mine and i regret it now as returning for me will get a lot harder very soon 

I feel for you 😞 Its a tough decision to make, you have to follow your gut, sometimes its just a phase we go through and right now its a high stress time so keep that in mind also. I to had a pet cat with my Ex, broke my heart to leave him behind, that cat got me through some of the darkest days of my break-up. My ex has him now and actually i think it turned out well as it gave him something to take responsibility for and we still keep in touch (mainly because of the cat!) 🙂  

Yes, sound advice to get that Aussie citizenship before you leave because however much you might think you hate it in Australia, when you get back to UK you might change your mind. I'd give the same advice to any Aussie who migrated to the UK by the way - get UK citizenship if you can.

I don't hate either country and circumstances rather than desire led me to return to the UK for 12 years.

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On 28/10/2020 at 22:46, Paul1Perth said:

The pubs and restaurants aren't crap, they are mostly filled with ex-pats too, it's like a night out in Manchester or Liverpool.

Absolute nonsense. Comparing a night out in Joondalup to Liverpool or Manchester is insane. Try it this weekend Paul, there'll be about half a dozen people in that Irish bar and a few eating burgers in what used to be the Old Bailey. Proper ghost town.

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17 hours ago, s713 said:

Absolute nonsense. Comparing a night out in Joondalup to Liverpool or Manchester is insane. Try it this weekend Paul, there'll be about half a dozen people in that Irish bar and a few eating burgers in what used to be the Old Bailey. Proper ghost town.

Yeh, the vibes not the same but the accents are. My son went a couple of times with some mates, he said it was full of UK people wanting to fight about football. 

Perth is a lot bettet. Joondalup is still a very new place though so it will get better.

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Covid definitely stuffed me up, or at least the lockdown did when all the things I used to do were taken away - beach, cafe, restaurant, pub - and I was 'incarcerated' in solitary confinement. That's when you miss having a family around you. So, when the border opened briefly into Queensland, I came up to stay with my brother, just in case there is another lockdown.

Perhaps if I'd had family still in the UK I would have tried to get back there. Now, with things looking bleak in the UK and, so far, life as normal in Qld I don't want to go anywhere else.

 

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27 minutes ago, MARYROSE02 said:

Covid definitely stuffed me up, or at least the lockdown did when all the things I used to do were taken away - beach, cafe, restaurant, pub - and I was 'incarcerated' in solitary confinement. That's when you miss having a family around you. So, when the border opened briefly into Queensland, I came up to stay with my brother, just in case there is another lockdown.

Perhaps if I'd had family still in the UK I would have tried to get back there. Now, with things looking bleak in the UK and, so far, life as normal in Qld I don't want to go anywhere else.

 

We’ll make a Queenslander out of you xM 

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6 hours ago, ramot said:

We’ll make a Queenslander out of you xM 

Go Anna, keep those infected cockroaches from Sydney and Melbourne out of Queenstraliia!

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