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Sudden pull to move back to UK after 8 years in Aus

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14 minutes ago, bug family said:

I am stuck in one of them suburbs and absolutely agree with this ^^^^^..............just having a look out the window at a colour bond fence, next to a house like a box, next to a colour bond fence, next to a house like a box, next to a colour bond fence...you get the idea, mind numbing....oh hold on a minute....yep, there appears to be a middle aged couple taking a stroll..... I need a lie down 🤪🤪

Sell up and move to a different suburb.  Why did you choose to live in the suburb you have described in the first place?  I'm assuming nobody is forcing you to stay there.

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22 minutes ago, Toots said:

Sell up and move to a different suburb.  Why did you choose to live in the suburb you have described in the first place?  I'm assuming nobody is forcing you to stay there.

I was just thinking that, it sounds horrible. Each to their own i guess, but leaving an estate in the UK full of semi detached after semi detached on top of each other we said we were definately not living somewhere like that here. Thank god we didn't, i know a few areas in QLD that sound a bit like what the OP describes and it blows my mind how many poms flock to these areas.

 Cal x

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If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place...

If you get a chance,take it, If it changes your life,let it. Nobody said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it...

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There are suburbs like that in most countries.  I hate them too. Didn’t live in one in Uk don’t live in one here.  

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So many wineries ......so little time :yes:

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1 hour ago, Toots said:

Sell up and move to a different suburb.  Why did you choose to live in the suburb you have described in the first place?  I'm assuming nobody is forcing you to stay there.

Yep. Beats me why people move to the other side of the world and go and pick a suburb that they know they aren't going to like?

Do they not have a look round before they buy?

 

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Probably finance. The suburbs in the far North and South are like that, and people move there because they're affordable. You can get a house like that, near the coast, for $500k. BUT, you're stuck in suburbia, it's crap. If you want the hills, or the western suburbs, the price is hiked. We lived in Joondalup and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I'd always advise anyone to get a smaller pad in Mt Lawley, Freo, Applecross etc. than get a McMansion in one of those suburban areas.

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56 minutes ago, s713 said:

Probably finance. The suburbs in the far North and South are like that, and people move there because they're affordable. You can get a house like that, near the coast, for $500k. BUT, you're stuck in suburbia, it's crap. If you want the hills, or the western suburbs, the price is hiked. We lived in Joondalup and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I'd always advise anyone to get a smaller pad in Mt Lawley, Freo, Applecross etc. than get a McMansion in one of those suburban areas.

If we hadn''t had a couple of babies whilst in Perth, Mt Lawley and Applecross would have been lovely suburbs to live in.  We did rent a one bedroom flat in Mt Lawley when my husband was building our house as well as working.  This was prior to having children.  Easy to get on with things when there are no babies.

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I honestly don't know how some of you can afford to 'ping' and 'pong' yourselves all over this planet. Move here,  move back; move here again, move back again; here again, back again. 

Are some of you so flush with cash that you can throw it around moving yourselves globally so many times?!?! Life in the UK must have afforded you the ability to have such luxuries most of us from the peasant colonies could only dream of! 

Doesn't sound like such a bad place to be after all 😀

Edited by Canada2Australia

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There can be lots of reasons why people stay in a home or area where they are unhappy. Sometimes even when a move is possible in a practical sense other pressures mean that upping sticks and relocating more than a short distance is not possible, as it simply replaces one set of problems for another. When we feel trapped the most trivial of negatives can feel a huge and heavy weight. Not necessarily saying any of that applies to anyone on this thread, but that's the point really, we know very little about other people's lives or what they are dealing with. T x 

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22 minutes ago, Canada2Australia said:

I honestly don't know how some of you can afford to 'ping' and 'pong' yourselves all over this planet. Move here,  move back; move here again, move back again; here again, back again. 

Are some of you so flush with cash that you can throw it around moving yourselves globally so many times?!?! Life in the UK must have afforded you the ability to have such luxuries most of us from the peasant colonies could only dream of! 

Doesn't sound like such a bad place to be after all 😀

To be fair ,if i was unhappy i would move back no matter the cost, even if it meant selling every item i own to do it ,that's what i would do. I learnt long ago money doesn't buy happiness, so enjoy life whilst we are healthy enough to do it.

 Cal x

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If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place...

If you get a chance,take it, If it changes your life,let it. Nobody said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it...

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3 minutes ago, calNgary said:

To be fair ,if i was unhappy i would move back no matter the cost, even if it meant selling every item i own to do it ,that's what i would do. I learnt long ago money doesn't buy happiness, so enjoy life whilst we are healthy enough to do it.

 Cal x

So would I, but I don't classify that as "ping ponging".   Ping ponging is when you try a new country, don't like it, move back to your homeland, then decide "Oh, it wasn't that bad after all" and migrate again.  I, too, am surprised some people can afford it. 


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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8 hours ago, Marisawright said:

So would I, but I don't classify that as "ping ponging".   Ping ponging is when you try a new country, don't like it, move back to your homeland, then decide "Oh, it wasn't that bad after all" and migrate again.  I, too, am surprised some people can afford it. 

Having just sort of done it, I can attest to the expense although we didnt do the whole move everything and then move everything back.  The cost of the basic moving has been chilling enough and to think if we had had to sell a house in Aus, move all our stuff then do the reverse would have been eyewatering.  Just moving us and a move cube back has been expensive enough and we havent had to buy a new house (just finish renovating the one we already owned and had part renovated before we left!)

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17 hours ago, bug family said:

I am stuck in one of them suburbs and absolutely agree with this ^^^^^..............just having a look out the window at a colour bond fence, next to a house like a box, next to a colour bond fence, next to a house like a box, next to a colour bond fence...you get the idea, mind numbing....oh hold on a minute....yep, there appears to be a middle aged couple taking a stroll..... I need a lie down 🤪🤪

After 11 years, I’m looking forward to going home. Fly on 2 December. Once the decision was made, things fell into place. Down side, relationship had to end (partner didn’t want to return) & leaving my dogs behind. As painful as it is it’s still the decision 😊

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My comment was made tongue in cheek geared not at the personal situations, but rather the financial implications of those that move globally multiple times in their lives. I know that for myself,  I literally cannot afford to be indecisive in that context more than twice in a lifetime. I've moved once globally already. If I decide to move again,  it will be the final time, no matter how much I may pine over a beach or palm tree. That's it.

Besides,  I can get beaches in spades back home (ocean AND freshwater!),  and a few places even grow palm trees now too 🙂

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7 minutes ago, Canada2Australia said:

My comment was made tongue in cheek geared not at the personal situations, but rather the financial implications of those that move globally multiple times in their lives. I know that for myself,  I literally cannot afford to be indecisive in that context more than twice in a lifetime. I've moved once globally already. If I decide to move again,  it will be the final time, no matter how much I may pine over a beach or palm tree. That's it.

Besides,  I can get beaches in spades back home (ocean AND freshwater!),  and a few places even grow palm trees now too 🙂

I personally don't know of many ping pongers.  I do know of quite a few people who moved back to their country of origin but happily put down roots there for good.  Many years ago we did know one couple in Sydney who ping ponged about 4 times.  The wife was the one who couldn't seem to settle and the husband went along with it until on their last move to the UK he put his foot down and said enough was enough.  That was over 30 years ago and she is still on about coming back to Australia.  Too late for all that now though.  They are too old and weren't here long enough to take out citizenship.  She is most definitely one of those grass is greener people.  I never really understood her as she was forever whinging about things here in Australia when she was here but then she was just as whingy about the UK.  Her husband has the patience of a saint. 😎

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In the 17 years I have been here, only one young person I know returned to the UK. He was very happy here, but decided to go back to be in UK for a while. He is equally happy there, and now has a partner and child. They came for a visit a couple of years ago, so she could experience where he had lived, catch up with friends. He told me that if she would move here he would love to come back, but knew he could be equally happy in UK. 
Several people who were here on the self funded retirement visa have returned, because after at least 15 years here it became to expensive to stay as they weren’t entitled to any help, but were very sad to leave. 
I know plenty of immigrants locally, both in my age group, and younger ones who are my sons age, plus my family from Africa who have no intention as yet to return. So on a very small straw poll, more happy here than unhappy.

This is in no way a criticism of people who are unhappy here, 

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1 hour ago, ramot said:

In the 17 years I have been here, only one young person I know returned to the UK. He was very happy here, but decided to go back to be in UK for a while. He is equally happy there, and now has a partner and child. They came for a visit a couple of years ago, so she could experience where he had lived, catch up with friends. He told me that if she would move here he would love to come back, but knew he could be equally happy in UK. 
Several people who were here on the self funded retirement visa have returned, because after at least 15 years here it became to expensive to stay as they weren’t entitled to any help, but were very sad to leave. 
I know plenty of immigrants locally, both in my age group, and younger ones who are my sons age, plus my family from Africa who have no intention as yet to return. So on a very small straw poll, more happy here than unhappy.

This is in no way a criticism of people who are unhappy here, 

I think this could be said regarding all immigrant magnet countries. Vast majority stay in Canada as well. 

Edited by Canada2Australia
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1 hour ago, ramot said:

In the 17 years I have been here, only one young person I know returned to the UK. ...
I know plenty of immigrants locally, both in my age group, and younger ones who are my sons age, plus my family from Africa who have no intention as yet to return. So on a very small straw poll, more happy here than unhappy.

This is in no way a criticism of people who are unhappy here, 

You are right, most of the immigrants living here are happy - that's only logical.  Most of the unhappy ones go home pretty quickly, so you're not going to meet them!   It's only the ones who can't afford the move, or those who are stuck due to family, who would hang around for long.

However I suspect you've met a few that you didn't know were unhappy.  Just look at the number of people you've met on these forums, quietly putting on a brave face because their partner won't leave Australia. Unless you know that person well, you'd have no idea if they're unhappy or not.  For instance, I wonder if you met @Quoll at a social occasion (as a stranger), would she let you know her true feelings about Australia?  I suspect she'd need to know you fairly well before she'd open up about it. 

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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1 minute ago, Marisawright said:

You are right, most of the immigrants living here are happy - that's only logical.  Most of the unhappy ones go home pretty quickly, so you're not going to meet them!   It's only the ones who can't afford the move, or those who are stuck due to family, who would hang around for long.

However I suspect you've met a few that you didn't know were unhappy.  Just look at the number of people you've met on these forums, quietly putting on a brave face because their partner won't leave Australia. Unless you know that person well, you'd have no idea if they're unhappy or not.  For instance, I wonder if you met @Quoll at a social occasion (as a stranger), would she let you know her true feelings about Australia?  I suspect she'd need to know you fairly well before she'd open up about it. 

This. Spot on. 

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36 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

You are right, most of the immigrants living here are happy - that's only logical.  Most of the unhappy ones go home pretty quickly, so you're not going to meet them!   It's only the ones who can't afford the move, or those who are stuck due to family, who would hang around for long.

However I suspect you've met a few that you didn't know were unhappy.  Just look at the number of people you've met on these forums, quietly putting on a brave face because their partner won't leave Australia. Unless you know that person well, you'd have no idea if they're unhappy or not.  For instance, I wonder if you met @Quoll at a social occasion (as a stranger), would she let you know her true feelings about Australia?  I suspect she'd need to know you fairly well before she'd open up about it. 

It was a real eye opener for me I can tell you.  The people I knew who couldn't settle - usually after having babies - went back "home" and that was that.  I didn't know of anyone who was trapped but reading some of the posts on PIO from unhappy, homesick people who feel trapped was disturbing as I'd never really thought about it before.  Terrible situation to be in.

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1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

You are right, most of the immigrants living here are happy - that's only logical.  Most of the unhappy ones go home pretty quickly, so you're not going to meet them!   It's only the ones who can't afford the move, or those who are stuck due to family, who would hang around for long.

However I suspect you've met a few that you didn't know were unhappy.  Just look at the number of people you've met on these forums, quietly putting on a brave face because their partner won't leave Australia. Unless you know that person well, you'd have no idea if they're unhappy or not.  For instance, I wonder if you met @Quoll at a social occasion (as a stranger), would she let you know her true feelings about Australia?  I suspect she'd need to know you fairly well before she'd open up about it. 

I said it was a straw poll of people I know and probably most of us have all struggled at times, but overall prefer to stay, I wasn’t talking about analysing strangers, or a nationwide survey,. Emigrating is tough, and as Marisa has previously said some people are nomads and probably cope better, and others can’t settle as they miss their families or just can’t call a new country home, and I respect that and sympathise. I certainly understand as I have had to keep a brave face in my time as an expatriate with all my teenage children on the other side of the world.

Edited by ramot
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18 hours ago, calNgary said:

To be fair ,if i was unhappy i would move back no matter the cost, even if it meant selling every item i own to do it

Unfortunately Cal the cost to me would not be a financial one, if it was that easy i would have gone home ages ago....i can't exactly sell up my children, therefore I am stuck 🙄

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On 23/10/2020 at 11:31, Toots said:

Sell up and move to a different suburb.  Why did you choose to live in the suburb you have described in the first place?  I'm assuming nobody is forcing you to stay there

because I am not a selfish person and this is not all about me Toots but thanks for your understanding 😦

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8 hours ago, Senfield said:

After 11 years, I’m looking forward to going home. Fly on 2 December. Once the decision was made, things fell into place

wish you the best of luck Senfield 🤗

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23 hours ago, Paul1Perth said:

Yep. Beats me why people move to the other side of the world and go and pick a suburb that they know they aren't going to like?

Sorry Paul, How would I know what the suburb is like if I am from the other side of the world, and secondly this suburb virtually did not exist it was a patch of sand, how do I judge what it is going to be like if it wasn't built yet? 😏

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18 hours ago, tea4too said:

we know very little about other people's lives or what they are dealing with. T x 

Exactly, well said tea4too 😉

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