Impossible decision

[Barnyrubble]

2 hours ago, Marisawright said:

I know this is a long shot but have you looked into your residency status for Australia? Is there any way you can revive your original permanent residency (assuming that's what you had?)  The rules changed so many times over the years.  

We have discussed that with the visa agent and normally if you have been away from Australia for more than 5 years it is generally not possible however because the circumstances that took us home and kept us there were more or less beyond our control they think we might have slight chance but we would have to put in for the 804 or 864 first

[Marisawright]

1 minute ago, Barnyrubble said:

We have discussed that with the visa agent and normally if you have been away from Australia for more than 5 years it is generally not possible however because the circumstances that took us home and kept us there were more or less beyond our control they think we might have slight chance but we would have to put in for the 804 or 864 first

So is he talking about applying for a RRV?  (resident return visa)?   I have no idea whether that's possible after such a long absence, but you could certainly argue that you have strong ties if your children and grandchildren are all citizens.   I can't understand why you'd need to apply for the 804 or 864 first, (unless it's just to enable you to stay legally in Australia while the RRV application is considered - I suggest asking him that question, you are entitled to do so).  

[Barnyrubble]

On 27/07/2020 at 13:41, Marisawright said:

That's why it's such an important question.  Human beings are much better at dealing with the short-term than the long-term.   Faced with the enormity of starting again, the natural temptation is to put it off.    My job pays well, I'll stay just 2 more years...2 more years...5 more years...and before you know it, time has flown and it's too late.

I'm not speaking from experience, because I'm very happy in Australia.  However, there are some people who have a deep connection to their homeland and they will never be truly happy abroad, even if they have the most fantastic life on paper.  You sound like one of those, so don't let material comforts blind you to what you truly need.  I wouldn't put it off, either.  You don't want to be moving home in ten years time and thinking, "If I'd done this at 40, I would've been able to spend time with my parents - now it's too late".  

 This is from my wife.

How strange.  I am happier thinking long term than short.  Long term I would live here. Short term I am so confused and distraught I want my home but we would lose the opportunity to then live here. But working out the costs to actually make the move is crippling too .  It comes to over $300,000 just to pay stamp duty, shipping, agents, estate agents  firb, private medical, tablets etc etc. Tgats a lot of our capital gone! 

I too wish someone would knock me out and wake me up in the right place all done and dusted.

[Barnyrubble]

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

So is he talking about applying for a RRV?  (resident return visa)?   I have no idea whether that's possible after such a long absence, but you could certainly argue that you have strong ties if your children and grandchildren are all citizens.   I can't understand why you'd need to apply for the 804 or 864 first, (unless it's just to enable you to stay legally in Australia while the RRV application is considered - I suggest asking him that question, you are entitled to do so).  

He says if we applied for that one first and it was refused it would prevent us from being able to apply for the 804 for which is why he suggests we do the 804 first and might even prevent us from coming here on an annual basis to be with our children as once you have had a visa refusal they can continue to refuse you

[Marisawright]

49 minutes ago, Barnyrubble said:

He says if we applied for that one first and it was refused it would prevent us from being able to apply for the 804 for which is why he suggests we do the 804 first and might even prevent us from coming here on an annual basis to be with our children as once you have had a visa refusal they can continue to refuse you

Sounds dodgy to me. Which agent are you using?

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, Barnyrubble said:

 This is from my wife.

How strange.  I am happier thinking long term than short.  Long term I would live here. Short term I am so confused and distraught I want my home but we would lose the opportunity to then live here. But working out the costs to actually make the move is crippling too .  It comes to over $300,000 just to pay stamp duty, shipping, agents, estate agents  firb, private medical, tablets etc etc. Tgats a lot of our capital gone! 

I too wish someone would knock me out and wake me up in the right place all done and dusted.

The post you’re replying to was addressed to someone who is already settled in Australia and unhappy. Totally opposite to your situation so not surprised the reaction is different 

[Amber Snowball]

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

Sounds dodgy to me. Which agent are you using?

I agree. Sounds weird.

@Barnyrubble  I would urge you to have a chat with @Alan Collett. Alan devotes a lot of free advice to the parents visa forum and many of the members of that forum have used his services successfully. Alan is also a tax agent in both systems.  An in-depth analysis will probably cost a small fee but money well spent if it means you can sleep at night with a definite answer as to what path you take.
It is so hard especially with Covid changing the landscape as well.

I wish you luck!  

[Marisawright]

3 hours ago, Barnyrubble said:

 working out the costs to actually make the move is crippling too .  It comes to over $300,000 just to pay stamp duty, shipping, agents, estate agents  firb, private medical, tablets etc etc. Tgats a lot of our capital gone! 

Moving countries is always expensive.   When advising skilled migrants, we tell them to allow £30,000 - £50,000 to cover costs (visas, air fares, buying and selling property, shipping, and getting set up in Australia).  And they don't have FIRB, extra stamp duty or medical costs to contend with! 

My friend Jane (referred to in another post) made the decision to downsize to an apartment, to leave more capital available to live on.  It's worth noting that the average apartment doesn't have any land tax liability, because the land component of the property is under the threshold.    A cheaper property means less stamp duty, too.   I know it's a challenge to shift to apartment living, but realistically as we approach old age (I'm in my 60's) it's a sensible move anyway.  

If you were a UK resident immediately before arriving in Australia, you do not need private medical insurance - all your essential medical treatments will covered by Medicare. That has nothing to do with the type of visa, it is simply the fact that the UK and Australia have a reciprocal medical agreement for their residents.  Strictly speaking, elective surgeries should not be covered - but in practice, hospitals seem to be slack about enforcing that.   However, prescriptions can be expensive, even for Australians.  As an example, I have an asthma puffer that costs $30 for one month's supply.  Now I'm old enough to get the pensioner subsidy, it only costs me $5 - but you wouldn't be eligible for that.  So it would be worth looking at your regular  medications and working out how much they would cost you annually.  Your local pharmacist should be able to advise the normal cost under Medicare.

Edited August 2, 2020 by Marisawright

[Barnyrubble]

4 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Sounds dodgy to me. Which agent are you using?

Mira agent in Robina Troy Migration.  recomended.

[Barnyrubble]

2 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Moving countries is always expensive.   When advising skilled migrants, we tell them to allow £30,000 - £50,000 to cover costs (visas, air fares, buying and selling property, shipping, and getting set up in Australia).  And they don't have FIRB, extra stamp duty or medical costs to contend with! 

My friend Jane (referred to in another post) made the decision to downsize to an apartment, to leave more capital available to live on.  It's worth noting that the average apartment doesn't have any land tax liability, because the land component of the property is under the threshold.    A cheaper property means less stamp duty, too.   I know it's a challenge to shift to apartment living, but realistically as we approach old age (I'm in my 60's) it's a sensible move anyway.  

If you were a UK resident immediately before arriving in Australia, you do not need private medical insurance - all your essential medical treatments will covered by Medicare. That has nothing to do with the type of visa, it is simply the fact that the UK and Australia have a reciprocal medical agreement for their residents.  Strictly speaking, elective surgeries should not be covered - but in practice, hospitals seem to be slack about enforcing that.   However, prescriptions can be expensive, even for Australians.  As an example, I have an asthma puffer that costs $30 for one month's supply.  Now I'm old enough to get the pensioner subsidy, it only costs me $5 - but you wouldn't be eligible for that.  So it would be worth looking at your regular  medications and working out how much they would cost you annually.  Your local pharmacist should be able to advise the normal cost under Medicare.

My present prescription would be $70 a month at the moment but it all adds up over the years.

Apartments are ok but the body Corp here is $15000 upwards a year if they have facilities and if they donf they are old and tiny with no outdoor space unfortunately. 

Edited August 2, 2020 by Barnyrubble
Typographical

[Barnyrubble]

3 hours ago, Amber Snowball said:

I agree. Sounds weird.

@Barnyrubble  I would urge you to have a chat with @Alan Collett. Alan devotes a lot of free advice to the parents visa forum and many of the members of that forum have used his services successfully. Alan is also a tax agent in both systems.  An in-depth analysis will probably cost a small fee but money well spent if it means you can sleep at night with a definite answer as to what path you take.
It is so hard especially with Covid changing the landscape as well.

I wish you luck!  

I have contacted him via the forum but as yet no response that I can see. 

[Barnyrubble]

6 hours ago, Barnyrubble said:

We have discussed that with the visa agent and normally if you have been away from Australia for more than 5 years it is generally not possible however because the circumstances that took us home and kept us there were more or less beyond our control they think we might have slight chance but we would have to put in for the 804 or 864 first

I even phoned the relevant office to see if our residency was still live as we had medicare cards. They told us if we didnt have Australian passports because they would have insisted on that, they didnt at the time, then we are not.  Shame.  

[Marisawright]

10 minutes ago, Barnyrubble said:

My present prescription would be $70 a month at the moment but it all adds up over the years.

Apartments are ok but the body Corp here is $15000 upwards a year if they have facilities and if they donf they are old and tiny with no outdoor space unfortunately. 

Please stop worrying about whether you're covered by Medicare or not. You are, because of the reciprocal agreement, no matter what visa you are on.  All you have to consider is the fact that Medicare doesn't cover everything - you'll have gap payments to pay, and prescriptions costs as noted above.  But every Australian has those.  

Bear in mind that when you own a house, you don't keep track of the amount of money you spend on maintaining the exterior of your property - clearing gutters, repainting, replacing windows, maintaining the garden, fences etc.   All of those costs are covered by your body corporate fees.   Even some internal fixtures, such as shower screens, are included.  

[Marisawright]

17 minutes ago, Barnyrubble said:

I have contacted him via the forum but as yet no response that I can see. 

Give him a call. 03 9935 2929

[ramot]

2 hours ago, Barnyrubble said:

I have contacted him via the forum but as yet no response that I can see. 

You might find it’s unethical to ask another agent for advice if you are already registered with an agent?

I think you need to slow down a bit if possible, depending how much time you have left here on your visa.

You are asking lots of the same questions on different treads, but appear  to be confused. 

Write down all your concerns, quietly read through what posters have tried to help you with, and consolidate everything onto one thread. 

there has been some very good and helpful advice given, we can’t help you decide what to do, only you can decide if the cost

of any of the different the parent visas is affordable. 

All of us who have applied for a parent visa sympathise and understand, but all we can do is try to help, as everyone’s circumstances are different.

 

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, ramot said:

You might find it’s unethical to ask another agent for advice if you are already registered with an agent?

The OP posted that they had a paid consultation with an agent previously, but they would have to pay again if they wanted more advice from him.  That sounds as though they did not actually hire the agent to handle their application and therefore they are free to go elsewhere if they are not satisfied or would prefer to use someone recommended. 

[Ballaratburd]

On 01/08/2020 at 18:29, Amber Snowball said:

It never occurred to me that I would be unwell. I have the most vanilla health history ever. Maybe I just suppressed that worry! 
It certainly puts the level of debt I would have had in Australia into perspective. It would have been mortgage debt not anything frivolous. 
Anyhoo, good luck with your move. What sort of nursing do you do? I’m a Health Visitor. Clinical commissioning and the obsession with KPIs is killing the role but there we go.

I work with some lovely people though and that makes all the difference.
I’m in the north west of England now and the amount of rain is an eye opener! Originally from near Heathrow.

I lived for a number of years in Geelong so know Ballarat. 
 

I have a crit care/trauma background and for the past three years I’ve been a bed manager and after hours coordinator initially at the Alfred then latterly at Ballarat, however believe it or not I am keen to retrain as a health visitor I looked into doing it here but of course needed my midwifery which I don’t have. KPI obsession is something I’m obviously very familiar with but overall do you still enjoy your role? 

[Amber Snowball]

2 hours ago, Ballaratburd said:

I have a crit care/trauma background and for the past three years I’ve been a bed manager and after hours coordinator initially at the Alfred then latterly at Ballarat, however believe it or not I am keen to retrain as a health visitor I looked into doing it here but of course needed my midwifery which I don’t have. KPI obsession is something I’m obviously very familiar with but overall do you still enjoy your role? 

Errrmmm. It has its moments.

When I look at the district nurses and what they do then by comparison I think HV is ‘better’. It will give you a 9-5 mon-fri role. Although some areas are starting to offer evening and weekend services. The key is not to think you have to get everything done, every day,  otherwise it will consume you. The thing with being the caseload holder you feel responsible and you are responsible so prioritising is the key! Those families are yours for 5 (sometimes very long) years! No handover to someone else unless they move.
Some people seem to think we are pseudo social workers as well so it’s about being clear what we do and again not being dragged into covering other roles!

There are worse ways to earn a living that’s for sure!
The profession would be happy to have you! 
 

 

[Ballaratburd]

14 hours ago, Amber Snowball said:

Errrmmm. It has its moments.

When I look at the district nurses and what they do then by comparison I think HV is ‘better’. It will give you a 9-5 mon-fri role. Although some areas are starting to offer evening and weekend services. The key is not to think you have to get everything done, every day,  otherwise it will consume you. The thing with being the caseload holder you feel responsible and you are responsible so prioritising is the key! Those families are yours for 5 (sometimes very long) years! No handover to someone else unless they move.
Some people seem to think we are pseudo social workers as well so it’s about being clear what we do and again not being dragged into covering other roles!

There are worse ways to earn a living that’s for sure!
The profession would be happy to have you! 
 

 

I’m sure it will have massive challenges, the area I’m from in Scotland is quite deprived so i know that will be even more challenging however I’ve been feeling over the past few years that it’s definitely something I would like to do. I’ve basically had 2 under 2 with a husband who works 60 hours per week, zero family support and not much in the way of friends around either, it’s completely changed my way of thinking and what I want out of my career (previously I had aspirations of going higher up in hospital administration) but since having my boys I’ve realised I would really like to work with other mums, particularly those who don’t have great support. I’ve been quite involved with the breastfeeding association here and I considering applying for midwifery but now we are going gone I’m eligible to apply for a traineeship so we shall see how things go. 
 

How many years were you in Australia? Do you feel confident that you have made the right decision? I’m 100% sure that this is the right decision for my family but I’m sad to leave Australia, I really did think I would live here forever. 

[Amber Snowball]

2 hours ago, Ballaratburd said:

I’m sure it will have massive challenges, the area I’m from in Scotland is quite deprived so i know that will be even more challenging however I’ve been feeling over the past few years that it’s definitely something I would like to do. I’ve basically had 2 under 2 with a husband who works 60 hours per week, zero family support and not much in the way of friends around either, it’s completely changed my way of thinking and what I want out of my career (previously I had aspirations of going higher up in hospital administration) but since having my boys I’ve realised I would really like to work with other mums, particularly those who don’t have great support. I’ve been quite involved with the breastfeeding association here and I considering applying for midwifery but now we are going gone I’m eligible to apply for a traineeship so we shall see how things go. 
 

How many years were you in Australia? Do you feel confident that you have made the right decision? I’m 100% sure that this is the right decision for my family but I’m sad to leave Australia, I really did think I would live here forever. 

Go for it. You might find that the size of your caseload means that you can’t do as much of the ‘good’ work that you would like but there are times of real reward when parents flourish with your support.

Scotland pays a band 7 as well I think, so bonus!,

Yes, I think this was the right move and I too thought I’d be in Australia for ever but something changed, don’t really know what. Just felt I was done with it.
I was there 13 years, moved my nhs Pension over there and everything, no intention of returning. I was good for around 10 years then a switch was flicked.

My now adult son is still in Australia and is likely to remain there but at the end of the day he could move anywhere and has his own life to lead, so I need to be where I need to be.

I still have days when I think did I do the right thing but I know I have. Australia was very good to me and I have a passport so could return.

Have you looked into returning to the NMC register yet? That was a complete ball ache. Took ages as I had to find someone who knows me who is a nurse and health visitor to declare I was ok to practice! I’d been gone for years! Luckily an old colleague did it but it was a pain. Took months!

You can only do what you feel is right at the time so I wish you the best!

[Ballaratburd]

44 minutes ago, Amber Snowball said:

Go for it. You might find that the size of your caseload means that you can’t do as much of the ‘good’ work that you would like but there are times of real reward when parents flourish with your support.

Scotland pays a band 7 as well I think, so bonus!,

Yes, I think this was the right move and I too thought I’d be in Australia for ever but something changed, don’t really know what. Just felt I was done with it.
I was there 13 years, moved my nhs Pension over there and everything, no intention of returning. I was good for around 10 years then a switch was flicked.

My now adult son is still in Australia and is likely to remain there but at the end of the day he could move anywhere and has his own life to lead, so I need to be where I need to be.

I still have days when I think did I do the right thing but I know I have. Australia was very good to me and I have a passport so could return.

Have you looked into returning to the NMC register yet? That was a complete ball ache. Took ages as I had to find someone who knows me who is a nurse and health visitor to declare I was ok to practice! I’d been gone for years! Luckily an old colleague did it but it was a pain. Took months!

You can only do what you feel is right at the time so I wish you the best!

I've only been here for 7 years and still in contact with a few friends from my old ward so luckily that part wasn't too bad. Currently still waiting fo Ahpra to do their bit and its asking for a supporting declaration and not sure what that is as a police officer friend at home and my manager here have both completed their sections. I applied for nurse bank and they got back to me and said they wouldn't consider my application until i was in the country (not that i was surprised, even after 7 years they are still as uptight an organisation as ever) I will also most likely be going back to a grad nurse pay as a band 5 despite being a band 7 here but again if our jobs were the only consideration we wouldnt be leaving Australia in the first place!

I also feel like I am done with Australia as does my husband, ive been advised by plenty that this is just a difficult period in my life (which it is of course with 2 children under 2) and that it will be fine once they go to kinder/school etc but ultimately i dont want my kids to grow up here for a multitude of reasons and whilst we loved Melbourne as a younger childless couple as I said previously my priorities in life have changed and I dont have the same view of the UK and Scotland as i had previously. Amazing how some time away (and no doubt an increase in maturity) can change your perspective on things.

What age is your son? Is there no chance of him joining you at any point?

[Amber Snowball]

1 hour ago, Ballaratburd said:

I've only been here for 7 years and still in contact with a few friends from my old ward so luckily that part wasn't too bad. Currently still waiting fo Ahpra to do their bit and its asking for a supporting declaration and not sure what that is as a police officer friend at home and my manager here have both completed their sections. I applied for nurse bank and they got back to me and said they wouldn't consider my application until i was in the country (not that i was surprised, even after 7 years they are still as uptight an organisation as ever) I will also most likely be going back to a grad nurse pay as a band 5 despite being a band 7 here but again if our jobs were the only consideration we wouldnt be leaving Australia in the first place!

I also feel like I am done with Australia as does my husband, ive been advised by plenty that this is just a difficult period in my life (which it is of course with 2 children under 2) and that it will be fine once they go to kinder/school etc but ultimately i dont want my kids to grow up here for a multitude of reasons and whilst we loved Melbourne as a younger childless couple as I said previously my priorities in life have changed and I dont have the same view of the UK and Scotland as i had previously. Amazing how some time away (and no doubt an increase in maturity) can change your perspective on things.

What age is your son? Is there no chance of him joining you at any point?

That’s appalling putting you back to a bottom band 5! I returned on a middle 6 and tbh wish I’d dug in for a top 6! Just dumped me in with a full caseload.

My son is 26 and his girlfriend is Aussie so doubt he’ll return here. He’s now spent more of his life in Australia than the UK so...but you never know what’s around the corner though so if I’ve learnt anything it’s never say never! 
I think time away, maturity but also different life stages plays a part as well as to what and where suits your needs at any given time. 
I am from the south east originally so up here in the north west is like a new adventure for me. Wouldn’t have returned to my original area. No amount of time away would make that look enticing!
You know you best and have to trust that instinct. You can move again in the uk if needed or return to Australia. It’s expensive but not impossible. Pensions etc have to be considered as you get older and making sure you’re putting into a system so you are entitled to money somewhere in the world, but again we all have different situations. People do get trapped in a country purely because they can’t afford to leave once they retire. That was my fear. 
You sound like you are all systems go so I hope it all works out for you.
 

 

[Fisher1]

On 02/08/2020 at 11:42, ramot said:

It’s a hard decision to decide whether to stay where you are or move to be nearer your children, there are both for and against thoughts.

We are different to most parents as we moved to Australia to retire after living in Asia for work, so apart from a few friends in our old village where we hadn’t lived for 10 years, most of our friends are scattered as we have moved around,  All our 3 children were in UK, but that was our choice then, so many people say you don’t move for your children, and we moved to do what we wanted to do. 

Fast forward 17 years, we are older, still hopefully fairly fit, but glad that 2 of ours followed us here, I have to admit it’s reassuring to have them fairly close. We were in our 60’s when we moved to Australia, madd a fresh start but it has worked out well. We really enjoy our lives here and have great friends. However if all 3 of our children had stayed in UK, I do wonder if we might now in our mid to late 70’s either regret being so far away and accept it or start to consider moving back to be closer to them. I don’t have the answer but it must be thought about when making the hard decision about where to live.

I’ve often thought that it makes a difference if you have moved round a lot throughout your life? The longest we have lived in the same house is eight years and the longest time in one country is fifteen years. I think this made a big difference to our expectations when we moved to Australia. We didn’t feel we needed to be really close to our family - two hours is fine, once a week is fine - we have our own lives to lead and want to be around our daughter and grandchildren but don’t need to be sitting on their doorstep. 

[Toots]

9 hours ago, Fisher1 said:

I’ve often thought that it makes a difference if you have moved round a lot throughout your life? The longest we have lived in the same house is eight years and the longest time in one country is fifteen years. I think this made a big difference to our expectations when we moved to Australia. We didn’t feel we needed to be really close to our family - two hours is fine, once a week is fine - we have our own lives to lead and want to be around our daughter and grandchildren but don’t need to be sitting on their doorstep. 

I think it does too.  I had two very good friends when we lived in Perth WA who went back to Scotland after they had babies.  They were very close to their families and had never really left the area where they grew up prior to migrating so found it very hard going.  Funnily enough their daughters who grew up in Scotland are now back in Australia.  Both with good jobs in Sydney.  Both my friends (their Mums) died from cancer a few years ago.  I had lived all over the place since leaving home at 16 so coped without help from family - no problem.  Even when Mum used to come out for 4 months every 2nd year I didn't use her as a babysitter.  I don't have grandchildren yet but chances are, when they arrive they will be in another country or mainland Australia  .......  we are in Tassie.

[Fisher1]

On 30/07/2020 at 18:40, bunbury61 said:

I came back in 94 for a few years - or so I thought

And iam still here - we just have our mom here now 

92 years old - 4 major falls ,this year alone .

Hospital visits - shopping - 8 phone calls a day .

Thank god , I married the woman that I did .

Beautiful - patient - caring 

She is currently drying my moms hair and making her a cup of tea .

People say - that you have to live your own life ...etc etc .

But the million dollar question is- there is a job to do and someone has to do it 

She's 92 - lives on her own - unsteady on her feet - can't do her own banking or shopping or make doctors appointments 

Thank god my wife was sent to me , so that we could carry out this undertaking 

Iam a very lucky man 

 

We all have our own lives to live but for many people that goes out of the window when our elderly parents need us.It’s a very difficult time if your oldie needs a lot of care, but I couldn’t not help my mum - she was always there for me when I needed her. Well done you and your wife for stepping up, wishing you many happy times with your mum. A small tip about those hospital visits - I used to keep a ‘hospital bag’ in my wardrobe, ready to grab at any time. In the bag were: a gripping paperback, change for the drinks machine. a small cushion (for low backed chairs at two in the morning) a packet of mints, toothbrush and toothpaste, face wipes, deodorant, tissues, a clean tee shirt.

Edited August 5, 2020 by Fisher1