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belter

When did you talk to the children about moving?

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Just wondering, if you have a few years. Did you talk about it with the children as soon as you knew you were going to go or when you have say six months left?

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Depends how old they are.  Our daughter was 10 when she overheard us talking (we'd not applied for a visa at that stage), she burst into tears and told us we were going to make her leave her whole life behind (which we were).

We told her that we would keep her informed of what was happening - e.g. that the visa was applied for, when medicals came around etc.  One of the biggest things that she was upset about was that she was in the last year of primary school and our school had a leavers service at church and it had been something she'd been really looking forward to.  We made sure we didn't leave until after this (still one of her best memories now she's 25).

I guess - you know your children - whether they need time to digest the information and would have some worries about it, or would be largely unconcerned.  Our visa (it's 13 years ago) was granted within 7 months.

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I just want PIO to be a happy place where people are nice to each other and unicorns poop rainbows

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My first reaction was to wait until closer to the time, because after all, nothing is guaranteed in life.  Something might go wrong, or your circumstances might change, and it won't happen - so why worry the children unnecessarily?  Wait until it's all set in stone.

However, Ali makes a very good point. You and your partner are talking about it now, so there's a chance they will overhear - and that would be more upsetting than being told upfront.  So perhaps it's best to be upfront about it.

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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My oldest daughter is going to be 11_12 when we leave we're doing it before High school so there are no romantic involvement to worry about. My youngest will be 9-10. They know we used to live there so I don't think it will be much of a shock and their dad (my husband) is a kiwi so they know his origins are far away. Thank you for your advice. 

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I just told mine the minute we started applying.

My eldest was 8 at the time so heard us talking anyway, and my youngest was 3 so she hasn't got a clue what it really means anyway.

Both where really excited by it, and even if they weren't they didn't have a choice anyway haha

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