Marisawright Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 22 hours ago, LouDYorkie said: I can say first hand how difficult things can be when one party is not fully on board. .... We have been here 6 years now and it is only in the last few months or so that anything and everything that has ‘gone wrong’ (no matter how small) has led to my OH telling me I dragged them kicking and screaming onto the plane, leaving everyone and everything they enjoyed behind At no point did I get this impression before we left. Yes there were minor reservations but I wasn’t told how they really felt ‘for fear of ruining my dream’. So what's the plan now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucie1 Posted November 13, 2019 Author Share Posted November 13, 2019 Honestly marisawright......it seems staying in the UK is the best answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 On 10/11/2019 at 16:32, Lucie1 said: Here goes...... I’ve wanted to emigrate for about 10 years and have spoken about it continuously. We have just come back from our second holiday to north of Perth and am still totally thrown whether to go. Home here I have a very good job in being a nurse manager and my husband is in the fire service. I have two younger and two older children. My older children are unsure of whether they want to move just yet and given their age (22) they would need to apply for their own skilled visa. His concern is he would struggle to get in the fire service in Oz, but would like for any job if we made the move. My biggest worry right now is in the UK we live very comfortably from a financial position. I know it’s not all about the money and that’s why we think Oz could offer a better life for our children but could we really have that life if at nearly 40 we have to start again. I would love to hear how other families may have decided to love or return and the reason around that. All I know is right now the decision is driving me and, I think of nothing else each day. Thinking having a better life in Australia for your kids in Australia is a Myth,We brought 4 out with us, and there is one left in Australia and she is divorced.One is dead One is living back in Britain and the other one is Divorced living in NZ, This Place in the 35 years we have been here has gone from bad to worse. It's Rip Off City. The Banks are still ripping us off and now the Government is Ripping everyone off THe ATO, Australian Tax office has the Power to take money from your bank if they say you owe them money,There's a class action going on against the government. The Tax office is Screwing people wherever they can.And you have to prove they are wrong. If you are financial secure at home. You would be mad to move out here, in this prolific heat .Our Town in Qld. is not far way from running out of Water ,And The Council has announced it's building yet another park. For $3 Million a 4 'klm stretch of road for $20 million..And there Towns people are screaming for them to sink some Bores And Build Reservoirs . 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 On 13/11/2019 at 16:15, Lucie1 said: Honestly marisawright......it seems staying in the UK is the best answer. Actually I was asking @LouDYorkie what she planned to do, as it sounds as though her husband isn't happy in Australia and is blaming her at every turn. To be honest, I'm glad to hear you're going to stay in the UK. I know you've harboured the "Aussie dream" for a long time but LouDYorkie's tale is far from unusual. It becomes a case of which is more important to you, Australia or your marriage. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouDYorkie Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 Actually I was asking [mention=232746]LouDYorkie[/mention] what she planned to do, as it sounds as though her husband isn't happy in Australia and is blaming her at every turn. To be honest, I'm glad to hear you're going to stay in the UK. I know you've harboured the "Aussie dream" for a long time but LouDYorkie's tale is far from unusual. It becomes a case of which is more important to you, Australia or your marriage. We have had some big (and brutally honest) discussions of late which culminated in my OH choosing to put their U.K. house on the market and they have genuinely seemed much happier (and no recent blame directed my way for moving here). I wish some of the conversations we have had lately had happened before we moved, it would have saved a lot of heartache, resentment, anxiety, anger, mistrust etc. But we both had to be in the same place mentally and able to approach the topic on an equal footing, which for many reasons we just weren’t before. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, LouDYorkie said: We have had some big (and brutally honest) discussions of late which culminated in my OH choosing to put their U.K. house on the market and they have genuinely seemed much happier (and no recent blame directed my way for moving here). I wish some of the conversations we have had lately had happened before we moved, it would have saved a lot of heartache, resentment, anxiety, anger, mistrust etc. But we both had to be in the same place mentally and able to approach the topic on an equal footing, which for many reasons we just weren’t before. I’m so glad you’ve been able to work it out together Edited November 29, 2019 by Marisawright 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunKissedDreamer Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 Put it away as a dream that could easily turn into a nightmare or regret. The move to Australia…….or anywhere else in the world, can easily become an obsession that some people just have to overcome one way or another. There are only two ways to satisfy that obsession. Move or don’t move. Nobody else can answer that conundrum for you. We are all very different. Our current lives are very different. Our family circumstances are very different. Our income ranges are very different. Our ages are very different. We are all at different stages in life. People feel isolated. The beach becomes boring. The sausages don’t taste the same. The food is more expensive. It gets extremely hot. None of that matters if your family members are not 100% with you throughout your process and once you are there. Your own family members are individuals with their own opinions too. These can be the most difficult to overcome on both sides of the world……..and they come. We all under estimate how those things play out and how they become the real deciding factors, which is often when we have already given up our jobs, spent a small fortune and upended a happy family. There simply is no common ground other than the obsession that keeps us awake at night like a bad itch. You need to decide one way or the other based on your personal circumstances………and how it is likely to affect those who are going with you or those being left behind. The pull and push isn’t nice if people are not committed or are left behind. A married couple with very young children (who don’t yet have an opinion) are in a very different situation than a married couple with children of multiple ages, particularly older children with a life and an opinion that quickly changes. Don’t get drawn too deeply into basing your decision on ‘the dream’ because the ‘dream’ works in both directions. Many Australians ‘dream’ of leaving OZ and living in the UK or elsewhere for many of the same reasons you have for leaving the UK. The grass is not greener, either way. (Well the real grass is certainly greener in the UK but the ‘dreamy’ expectations are not). The UK has far more to offer than we give it credit for if you have lived your life here and the same can be said if you have lived your life in OZ and are dreaming of the UK. You won’t realise this until you are sat in your nice comfy neighbourhood in OZ and you start to miss family and daily life back home. What do you do when that happens to you? What do you do when that happens to the person sat next to you? What do you do when your child comes home a wants to pack a bag and get on the next flight back to the UK? If, ‘IF’ your older children get their own visa, one day they will realise that they are missing their friends and family and their known life back home in the UK and they perhaps decide to leave OZ and go back home to live with grandma. What do you do then? If you can uplift your family and afford to move and cover your costs with no income until you are settled then perhaps try it out for 12 months or so but if there is the slightest chance that it may not work…….then save yourself the heartache and focus on improving on the reasons you are leaving in the first place. It has to be 100% what others want to do or there will be a nagging need to get back home and it only takes one person to have that feeling and it affects that rest of you, which isn’t a great situation to be in half way around the world and nothing to return too and no money left to start again. I sense that you have too much too lose here in the UK and that OZ will drain what you already have, including the family ties. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 @SunKissedDreamer, I wish I could give you a double "like". Obviously a heartfelt post with a sad story behind it. ((((((((Hugs))))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKC Posted November 30, 2019 Share Posted November 30, 2019 One thing that I'd like to add, is that moving to Australia (and subsequently moving back) put a massive strain on what I thought was a very strong marriage. We've been back in the UK for just over two years, and ex and I separated just over a year ago. Moving to Australia (or moving back) wasn't the reason for the split, but the stress involved, physical, mental, emotional and financial, certainly added fuel to the fire. I would imagine that this would be magnified if both partners aren't 100% committed to it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jul2019 Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 It's not easy I know. When I first came to Perth in 2008 I hated it, then the next 3 times I went I loved it. Now coming here again I absolutely hate it just like I did the first time. The weather is great but that's about all I like. Supermarkets in England are far better than the ones here. More choice and cheaper. I get the feeling Brits are looked upon as taking over some areas going by posts I've read online so some Australians have a negative view of us. Also Australians are very unhygenic. In the UK no one would allowed to walk barefoot in supermarkets but over here it's normal and no one seems to complain. Lazy, rude, uneducated and unhygenic is how I would describe Australians. Graffiti is another problem. I wasn't expecting to see so much of it in areas that have only recently been built. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 47 minutes ago, jul2019 said: It's not easy I know. When I first came to Perth in 2008 I hated it, then the next 3 times I went I loved it. Now coming here again I absolutely hate it just like I did the first time. The weather is great but that's about all I like. Supermarkets in England are far better than the ones here. More choice and cheaper. I get the feeling Brits are looked upon as taking over some areas going by posts I've read online so some Australians have a negative view of us. Also Australians are very unhygenic. In the UK no one would allowed to walk barefoot in supermarkets but over here it's normal and no one seems to complain. Lazy, rude, uneducated and unhygenic is how I would describe Australians. Graffiti is another problem. I wasn't expecting to see so much of it in areas that have only recently been built. If it's so bad you can always go back to your home country. Nobody says you have to put up with life here ................ or are you just a troll on the lookout for young girls ...... as you have hinted at in other posts. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jul2019 Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 You seem to be ageist. I'm not. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Thought I'd replied to this but no. I had the same dream as the OP. Luckily my wife was on the same page as she'd lived in Canada so knew there was a different option to the UK. We had a 2 year old, never been before, gave up good jobs to come but for us it's been everything we hoped for. The beach lifestyle has never become boring, we love it just as much now as when we first arrived, we love the weather, where we live, Perth city has improved over the years. Never felt isolated as some people say. We never really went far in the UK and most people don't. If you want a holiday in the sun you get on a plane. If you want a change same here. Not hanging out for that though, the sun is plentiful right where we live and the beaches are among the best in the world, right on the doorstep. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.