Scratching your homesickness itch

[Vickie78]

5 minutes ago, Toots said:

I lived in Perth for a few years and Sydney for a lot more than a few years.  Sure there are materialistic people in both those places but my friends aren't like that and neither am I.  In reality there are materialistic people in every country.  I just laugh at them and also feel a wee bit sorry for them.  Don't find many people like that here in Tassie.  Bound to be a few of them around but they are easily avoided.  

Exactly, good luck to them. hehe

[bunbury61]

On 15/08/2019 at 14:44, BacktoDemocracy said:

I would just say, talk to people who are here in the UK, getting old here  is no picnic, govts everywhere are making cuts and the cuts are affecting the old and incapacitated very badly, especially for those with limited resources and few family.

The Nhs is underfunded and from referral to action is supposedly 36 weeks, in reality it is more likely 40 weeks plus,  and to get to see a GP is a three week wait now at my surgery.

Tend to agree with the longer waiting lists - is that underfunding or over population to the urban areas .

Getting old here doesn't frighten me one bit .

Where iam in solihull has everything - doctors , trains , buses , great days out , airport 15 mins away , and straight train line to london - loads of gyms and golf courses.

Only thing we cant guarantee is the weather - but my wife loves the pommie winter anyway , which is a worry

[bunbury61]

On 16/08/2019 at 13:53, bunbury61 said:

In relation to getting old or ill

Here in the u.k .

My sister in law has just died of cancer , but the level of service was absolutely first rate , both in the QE hospital , and at home where she wanted to be in the last days .

Prescriptions delivered to the door- at the end ,these were on an industrial scale , and £8 a time 

McMillan and district nurses there at the end - unbelievable service at 2.30 in the morning 

The polar opposite , a relatives partner has just returned to canada , and had to wait 3 months for any healthcare to kick in ,as they are a Canadian citizen 

In the meantime , a long term kidney issue , developed into an issue bordering on kidney failure .

This has to date cost them 200,000 dollars - plus ongoing dialysis , and medication at 1000 dollars a month- it is wiping them out .

It could have been worse , they have just left Dubai,  which is even more expensive 

Yes the nhs is under funded , over utilised and abused , but from my recent experiences it takes some beating .

Growing old here , is the least of my worries 

Croyde bay north Devon

Tonight 

[nikci]

It's been years since I posted on here and there are few names I see from the old days before we moved to Australia - (Quoll); we have been here just over 10 years now. It was me who was the driving force behind the move my every living moment revolved around getting here - our family of 5 have settled to a certain extent - my children wouldn't return permanently to the UK albeit they do suffer with homesickness, my husband definitely wouldn't return - me well I suffer terribly with homesickness but I think this is because as an only child and having my mum and stepdad still in the UK who are getting older now I have come to realise that the distance is greater than you appreciate. I am lucky as I return for Christmas and New Year every two years with all the family and once a year on my own - sometimes I think this might be counter productive. My only advice to anyone heading here is to make sure you are really really sure of what you are doing, travel is harder and way more expensive from here, cost of living is extremely high and having recently watched "Wanted Down Under" I can tell you that that is not a true reflection of the cost of living here. My middle son has developed serious health issues since we arrived in Australia and the medical bills pile up and when you add this to the cost of every day living it's hard! Don't get me wrong we have a lovely home and love being here. We both work but I can honestly say that we work harder here than we did in the UK. I suppose what I am trying to say is homesickness is a real thing for me and the only way I can get past it  - is to head down to the beach on a beautiful sunny day watch the whales/dolphins swim by and sip on my coffee!! 

 

 

[bug family]

11 minutes ago, nikci said:

homesickness is a real thing for me and the only way I can get past it  - is to head down to the beach on a beautiful sunny day

Hi Nikci,

Thanks for your post, I am actually the opposite way round to your situation in that my wife loves it here and it is me who gets homesick, I suppose you have to find what works for you when the 'sickness' hits, for me going the beach on a sunny day would make me feel more homesick lol as it would remind me that I am a long, long way from home.

We came here some 8 years ago and I have never really settled, I am going back for the first time this year in December and am really looking forward to it, although with a tinge of sadness as I would love to take my two children, but simply cannot afford to (maybe one day)...you are so very right in what you say to potential migrants, in that they need to be so very sure this is what they want, as it becomes very hard to leave once life events such as children come along, it is also as you say way more expensive to live here and we have so much less 'quality time ' than what we did in the Uk (in my opinion).....anyhooo just watching a program about the London underground....got a really bad itch to scratch at the moment

 

[bug family]

17 hours ago, bunbury61 said:

Croyde bay north Devon

wow looks beautiful Bunbury61

[AliQ]

2 hours ago, nikci said:

cost of living is extremely high

 

1 hour ago, bug family said:

way more expensive to live here

Interesting to see these comments. As recent arrivals back to the UK, we currently find the opposite.

Our Council Tax here is nearly double compared to our Council Rates in Perth, petrol is very expensive, cars are ridiculously expensive, and as for gas & electric - don't start me on that !!!

But chocolate is so cheap here, never seen such big bars / packets at such a low price - and it's always on "special" too. 

[Marisawright]

8 hours ago, AliQ said:

 

Interesting to see these comments. As recent arrivals back to the UK, we currently find the opposite.

Our Council Tax here is nearly double compared to our Council Rates in Perth, petrol is very expensive, cars are ridiculously expensive, and as for gas & electric - don't start me on that !!!

But chocolate is so cheap here, never seen such big bars / packets at such a low price - and it's always on "special" too. 

You've got to remember that the exchange rate has a lot to do with how expensive things seem.  The pound is depressed right now but so is the Aussie dollar.

The other thing is that you're often not as aware of how prices increasing when you're at home - things cost what they cost.   But when you move countries and start having to convert amounts in your head, you suddenly become aware of what prices really are.  

Also, as you point out, some things are cheaper and some things are more expensive, but we tend to get fixated on the stuff that's more expensive.

Edited September 9, 2019 by Marisawright

[bug family]

18 hours ago, AliQ said:

But chocolate is so cheap here, never seen such big bars / packets at such a low price - and it's always on "special" too. 

And right there is a good enough reason to move back

[bug family]

18 hours ago, AliQ said:

Our Council Tax here is nearly double compared to our Council Rates in Perth, petrol is very expensive, cars are ridiculously expensive

Interesting...can you give approximate examples of how much for each on average, as I have been away for some 8 years I expected there to be an increase, but in general as I remembered the UK always was cheaper, apart from the fuel I think, but even that is expensive here in Australia now

[AliQ]

4 hours ago, bug family said:

Interesting...can you give approximate examples of how much for each on average, as I have been away for some 8 years I expected there to be an increase, but in general as I remembered the UK always was cheaper, apart from the fuel I think, but even that is expensive here in Australia now

Hi, where we are currently renting, our council tax is £1,590.00 a year, today I saw petrol (unleaded) at £1.29 a litre ,and what we paid in £ for our new car (Ford Fiesta, base model) was similar in price to what we paid for a VW Tiguan, good spec, just one year ago in Perth.

[AliQ]

4 hours ago, bug family said:

And right there is a good enough reason to move back

A pack of 12 Milky Way's is just £2.50 !!!!

[bunbury61]

On 09/09/2019 at 13:02, bug family said:

wow looks beautiful Bunbury61

It is - but dont tell anyone

[bug family]

22 hours ago, AliQ said:

our council tax is £1,590.00 a year

wow...that is a fair old wedge of income just on council tax, are you down south by any chance? ..the fuel price seems to be around what I figured it would be though

[bug family]

I am looking forward to many things when I go home for three weeks in December, but especially looking forward to........

Mac Donald's banana milkshake and curry dip sauce (not together you understand)..... I would never have come if I realised beforehand that you cannot get banana milkshake here in Australia, what's that all about

Oh, and a decent pub

don't judge me....

I can feel my itch subsiding already

[AliQ]

2 hours ago, bug family said:

wow...that is a fair old wedge of income just on council tax, are you down south by any chance? ..the fuel price seems to be around what I figured it would be though

Hi, no we're not down south. In Derbyshire. There are eight council tax bands where we are (A to H) and we are band C, so lots of folk will be paying much more than us.

[bug family]

On 11/09/2019 at 21:48, AliQ said:

In Derbyshire

Lovely area ....on another note....... I read recently that a gold toilet has been stolen from Blenheim Palace which is one of the places I am visiting on my trip home in December....was looking forward to sitting on a golden throne  

[Quoll]

On 09/09/2019 at 12:38, nikci said:

It's been years since I posted on here and there are few names I see from the old days before we moved to Australia - (Quoll); we have been here just over 10 years now. It was me who was the driving force behind the move my every living moment revolved around getting here - our family of 5 have settled to a certain extent - my children wouldn't return permanently to the UK albeit they do suffer with homesickness, my husband definitely wouldn't return - me well I suffer terribly with homesickness but I think this is because as an only child and having my mum and stepdad still in the UK who are getting older now I have come to realise that the distance is greater than you appreciate. I am lucky as I return for Christmas and New Year every two years with all the family and once a year on my own - sometimes I think this might be counter productive. My only advice to anyone heading here is to make sure you are really really sure of what you are doing, travel is harder and way more expensive from here, cost of living is extremely high and having recently watched "Wanted Down Under" I can tell you that that is not a true reflection of the cost of living here. My middle son has developed serious health issues since we arrived in Australia and the medical bills pile up and when you add this to the cost of every day living it's hard! Don't get me wrong we have a lovely home and love being here. We both work but I can honestly say that we work harder here than we did in the UK. I suppose what I am trying to say is homesickness is a real thing for me and the only way I can get past it  - is to head down to the beach on a beautiful sunny day watch the whales/dolphins swim by and sip on my coffee!! 

 

 

It's been a while!!!!  I can relate to the only child-ness - sucks, doesnt it?!  We came to UK on holiday 8 years ago and didn't return because of the "only child thing" and a pair of parents galloping towards their 90s with the wheels falling off.  Now, 8 years later, mum has died, dad has recently decided that he is better cared for in a Care Home (we agree, by the way) and we are in the process of selling up his life, belongings and home (to support him in the care home) and we will be returning to Australia, probably by the end of the year.  All I can say is that these past 8 years have been bloody fantastic.  I have loved being "home". I've lost a lot of weight, am considerably fitter and have an amazing group of new friends.  If you can persuade the rest of the family to come to some sort of compromise where you get at least a few more years of belonging, I'd say go for it!  My DH hated hated hated the thought of living in UK but he's had a ball, he's seen and done so much in the time although we have been hamstrung more recently with 24/7 care of a 95 year old! I would give my eye teeth to stay here but I promised the DH that we would return and, honestly, we couldn't afford to live here, we are past the point of no return unfortunately.

Good luck living with your homesickness, I reckon the only child guilt factor probably plays a significant part and I am hoping that the knowledge that my dad is well cared for (and the communication with the home seems excellent at this point) will in some way reduce that for me when I have to return and I can view it all with the "whoopee it's a new adventure" frame of mind.  However with one kid there with 2 grandkids and one kid here with one grandchild (he came for a year's holiday 17 years ago!!!!) I am always going to be batting around from one side of the world to the other and you will never know where your kids decide to end up. 

[Toots]

10 hours ago, bug family said:

Lovely area ....on another note....... I read recently that a gold toilet has been stolen from Blenheim Palace which is one of the places I am visiting on my trip home in December....was looking forward to sitting on a golden throne  

Somebody has been arrested for pinching the toilet but I don't know if they have recovered the it yet.    It might be back in place in time for your visit in December.  

[Paul1Perth]

On 09/09/2019 at 19:38, nikci said:

It's been years since I posted on here and there are few names I see from the old days before we moved to Australia - (Quoll); we have been here just over 10 years now. It was me who was the driving force behind the move my every living moment revolved around getting here - our family of 5 have settled to a certain extent - my children wouldn't return permanently to the UK albeit they do suffer with homesickness, my husband definitely wouldn't return - me well I suffer terribly with homesickness but I think this is because as an only child and having my mum and stepdad still in the UK who are getting older now I have come to realise that the distance is greater than you appreciate. I am lucky as I return for Christmas and New Year every two years with all the family and once a year on my own - sometimes I think this might be counter productive. My only advice to anyone heading here is to make sure you are really really sure of what you are doing, travel is harder and way more expensive from here, cost of living is extremely high and having recently watched "Wanted Down Under" I can tell you that that is not a true reflection of the cost of living here. My middle son has developed serious health issues since we arrived in Australia and the medical bills pile up and when you add this to the cost of every day living it's hard! Don't get me wrong we have a lovely home and love being here. We both work but I can honestly say that we work harder here than we did in the UK. I suppose what I am trying to say is homesickness is a real thing for me and the only way I can get past it  - is to head down to the beach on a beautiful sunny day watch the whales/dolphins swim by and sip on my coffee!! 

 

 

I think your trips back are counter productive as well as using up your holidays and being really expensive.

We didn't go back for 13 years, simply couldn't afford it and we were both working full time. if people wanted to see us they had to come out on holiday. Luckily all the families did at different times. We live near a great beach, walking distance, and luckily they all loved it here.

Another thing is you never get to experience the fantastic holidays you can have in Aus in another part of the country if your leave is used up. We love going down South in WA. 3 hour car trip and it's so different.

Bali is close and cheap too. Best hotels I've ever stayed anywhere.

Home sickness disappeared pretty quick for us.

[bug family]

1 minute ago, Paul1Perth said:

I think your trips back are counter productive

In what way Paul?....you obviously love it here, good for you, but others do not and going home is the fix they need, and sometimes its for good

6 minutes ago, Paul1Perth said:

going down South in WA. 3 hour car trip and it's so different.

its nice, but it gets a bit boring after the umpteenth time, same as the beaches been on one been on them all lol

8 minutes ago, Paul1Perth said:

Home sickness disappeared pretty quick for us.

Lucky you

[bug family]

13 hours ago, Quoll said:

All I can say is that these past 8 years have been bloody fantastic.  I have loved being "home"

leaving and coming back to Australia is going to be so very hard Quoll, I wish you well and good luck 

[Marisawright]

37 minutes ago, bug family said:

In what way Paul?....you obviously love it here, good for you, but others do not and going home is the fix they need, and sometimes its for good

For some people, going back for frequent holidays can be counter-productive because it keeps reminding you of your old life.  

Sometimes I think refugees have it easier, because they know they can never go back. So there's no point in thinking about things they loved about their old country. They just have to close the door on their old life, throw away the key and commit themselveswholeheartedly to their new home.

I liken it to having a marriage breakup, where you're still in love with your partner.   If you keep photos of her around the house, think about her all the time, and constantly visit your old neighbourhood, you'll never get over her.  New relationships won't work because you'll always be thinking of how she doesn't live up to your previous partner.  But eventually, though it breaks your heart to do it, you have to put away the photos and let your previous partner go - then you've got a chance of finding happiness with someone new.

 

[bug family]

27 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

For some people, going back for frequent holidays can be counter-productive because it keeps reminding you of your old life.  

Sometimes I think refugees have it easier, because they know they can never go back. So there's no point in thinking about things they loved about their old country. They just have to close the door on their old life, throw away the key and commit themselveswholeheartedly to their new home.

I liken it to having a marriage breakup, where you're still in love with your partner.   If you keep photos of her around the house, think about her all the time, and constantly visit your old neighbourhood, you'll never get over her.  New relationships won't work because you'll always be thinking of how she doesn't live up to your previous partner.  But eventually, though it breaks your heart to do it, you have to put away the photos and let your previous partner go - then you've got a chance of finding happiness with someone new.

 

Good Analogy Marisa, But....there is always a but lol.....for some going back is the fix they need, confirming that in doing so it reminds them that the life they have now, may not be the one they want forever, then that also points to a problem that they have with where they are currently in their life, which in turn helps them make a change...bit like Brexit in reverse knowing what you do want, helps with what you don't.

As for the marriage breakup...yes...but...some forgive their original partner for their errors (if any) and after a period of exile makeup with them and live happily ever after THE END.

 

[AliQ]

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

For some people, going back for frequent holidays can be counter-productive because it keeps reminding you of your old life.  

VERY strongly agree. Also returning for holidays is NOTHING like living in the UK.

We're about four months into our nine month " another trial of living in the UK" and finding life here VERY frustrating to say the least. Trying to communicate with utilities and communication companies is shocking.

However, we are enjoying our time here and it's always what you make of it yourself anyway. But, if we had to work then no way would we consider re settling in the UK, just could not face the traffic & crowds during the bad winter weather trying to get for work for 07.00 in a morning (in the medical profession which involves shift work)