Suddenly feeling homesick

[Jade1991]

Hi Poms,

I’ve had a sudden urge to go back to the UK for the first time since I’ve left 2 years ago. Being on holiday and flying back to Australia instead of home is filling me with dread. Does anyone else feel like this?

My partner and I are in our twenties and have been in Australia for over 2 years and have both got our PR. I was pretty certain I wanted to stay in Australia forever but now find myself thinking of what I miss from home- from travelling Europe to sitting watching tele with a Chinese takeaway. I’ve been winding myself up and think I want to move home.   

Just wondering if this feeling will pass or once your get homesick it sticks around?

Thanks

 

 

 

 

[Toots]

If you read through the UK Chat part of the forum you will find many people who feel the same as you.  A fair few of them return to the UK and happily get on with their lives and Australia becomes a distant memory.  No use sticking around if homesickness turns into depression.  I used to feel homesick after a holiday back to Scotland but I got over it within a few days but some people never get over it.  

[Garym85]

Hey, I know how you feel. I go through phases, as does my partner. We are early 30's, about to have our PR granted and I often have a period of wanting to go back to UK. Missing friends and family, seeing family get older, missing key milestones in the closest people to our lives- its all hard! Missing chinese takeaway seems like the icing on the cake sometimes! 

We went back to UK last year for a friends wedding, and doing the same again in a few months. Everyone has grand plans but found that you need to make all the effort. we looked forward to 'coming home' to Australia after three weeks in UK. 

As you have PR you are in a better position than most, I know a few people who've been in our position then gone home- the weather is rubbbish, everyone is moaning, brexit is on the horizon and the uncertainty about many things as a result. Sometimes it's difficult to build a network of friends here to turn to- it is in Sydney, although I do work with some of the best people, its still not the same.

What I'd say is- Have no regrets. The UK isnt the worst place but you came here for a reason, some days are hard, some are great....stick it out for a while longer and see if it passes. 

[Gbye grey sky]

38 minutes ago, Jade1991 said:

Hi Poms,

I’ve had a sudden urge to go back to the UK for the first time since I’ve left 2 years ago. Being on holiday and flying back to Australia instead of home is filling me with dread. Does anyone else feel like this?

My partner and I are in our twenties and have been in Australia for over 2 years and have both got our PR. I was pretty certain I wanted to stay in Australia forever but now find myself thinking of what I miss from home- from travelling Europe to sitting watching tele with a Chinese takeaway. I’ve been winding myself up and think I want to move home.   

Just wondering if this feeling will pass or once your get homesick it sticks around?

Thanks

 

 

 

 

What were your reasons for the move in the first place?  Evaluate those objectively and you may find the answer you are seeking.

[bunbury61]

On 25/04/2019 at 10:17, Jade1991 said:

Hi Poms,

I’ve had a sudden urge to go back to the UK for the first time since I’ve left 2 years ago. Being on holiday and flying back to Australia instead of home is filling me with dread. Does anyone else feel like this?

My partner and I are in our twenties and have been in Australia for over 2 years and have both got our PR. I was pretty certain I wanted to stay in Australia forever but now find myself thinking of what I miss from home- from travelling Europe to sitting watching tele with a Chinese takeaway. I’ve been winding myself up and think I want to move home.   

Just wondering if this feeling will pass or once your get homesick it sticks around?

Thanks

 

 

 

 

All your feelings are quite natural. 

[Quoll]

Quite normal. You'll either get over it or you won't. Early on I never minded returning to Australia, it was still an adventure but after a while I hated to have to return and on several occasions actually threw up when I had to leave and bawled all the way in the train to the airport. We should have left Aus earlier (but the DH wouldn't) and now, apart from the need to be in UK to care for elderly dad, it isn't financially viable for us to live there permanently - we drifted past the point of no return. Don't be fooled into thinking you HAVE to stay in Australia because so many people think it's the best thing since sliced bread - its your life to do with as you want and there's little to choose between two first world countries.  I'm in Australia on holidays now and I still don't feel I belong after 40 years. On the plane over I had a chat with a woman much my age who had lived here almost as long as I had and she was still quite distressed at having to return to Australia after her annual sanity hit in UK - she was on the point of announcing to her family that she was going to move permanently (like me, split kids, some here some there) and was fearing ructions from one of her Australian kids (I hope she weathered the storm).

Whatever you do, don't let yourself drift past that point of no return, make active decisions at regular intervals because there's nothing worse than finding yourself trapped at some point. 

[AliQ]

Hi Jade, I know EXACTLY how you feel and it’s not a nice position to be in, been there done that and there is no right or wrong answer.

We came to Australia way back in 1990, stayed 28 years and throughout those 28 years I had many many episodes of wanting to go home. We left Australia last year, long story, and spent six months in the UK and LOVED every single minute, despite the weather !

I wanted to stay in the UK, husband did not, so back we came to Australia. But, now we’re back we’re both having second thoughts and are thinking of going back to the UK. Like you, there is a lot we like about life in the UK.

If I could turn back the clock, I would have returned to the UK many years ago,  we got caught up with work and a house, and time just went by really, that’s why 28 years just passed by. I missed family and regret not being there for my parents when they needed help ( do have other family members in UK) and due to the cost and getting time off from work, I could not afford to fly back that often at all.

I do like Australia, I do, it’s just not for me anymore. As Quoll says, Australia is not for everyone and don’t feel bad because it’s not for you. I certainly don’t, we can’t all like the same things in life, gosh that would be very boring !!!

i wish you well x

 

[Perthbum]

9 minutes ago, AliQ said:

Hi Jade, I know EXACTLY how you feel and it’s not a nice position to be in, been there done that and there is no right or wrong answer.

We came to Australia way back in 1990, stayed 28 years and throughout those 28 years I had many many episodes of wanting to go home. We left Australia last year, long story, and spent six months in the UK and LOVED every single minute, despite the weather !

I wanted to stay in the UK, husband did not, so back we came to Australia. But, now we’re back we’re both having second thoughts and are thinking of going back to the UK. Like you, there is a lot we like about life in the UK.

If I could turn back the clock, I would have returned to the UK many years ago,  we got caught up with work and a house, and time just went by really, that’s why 28 years just passed by. I missed family and regret not being there for my parents when they needed help ( do have other family members in UK) and due to the cost and getting time off from work, I could not afford to fly back that often at all.

I do like Australia, I do, it’s just not for me anymore. As Quoll says, Australia is not for everyone and don’t feel bad because it’s not for you. I certainly don’t, we can’t all like the same things in life, gosh that would be very boring !!!

i wish you well x

 

brilliant post

[Perthbum]

i honestly blame programs like warned down under, they paint such a false impression of life in oz, I watch it and laugh 

[AliQ]

Perthbum what you say is so true.

Wanted Down Under never discuss’s the nitty gritty of life - all they discuss is a weekly shopping list and the price of Yorkshire Tea !!!

[ali]

41 minutes ago, Perthbum said:

i honestly blame programs like warned down under, they paint such a false impression of life in oz, I watch it and laugh 

What exactly do you blame it for? 

[Toots]

39 minutes ago, AliQ said:

Perthbum what you say is so true.

Wanted Down Under never discuss’s the nitty gritty of life - all they discuss is a weekly shopping list and the price of Yorkshire Tea !!!

Surely people aren't daft enough to believe what happens on a TV show.  They must be savvy enough to realise that their ordinary everyday life would happen just the same except they would 10,000 miles from their birth country.  On the other hand some people have no idea and live in dream land.  Many of them will be in for a real shock.

[Marisawright]

6 minutes ago, Toots said:

Surely people aren't daft enough to believe what happens on a TV show.  They must be savvy enough to realise that their ordinary everyday life would happen just the same except they would 10,000 miles from their birth country.  

I think you give people too much credit.   People DO believe reality shows all the time.  I am constantly amazed by it.   

[ali]

11 minutes ago, Toots said:

Surely people aren't daft enough to believe what happens on a TV show.  They must be savvy enough to realise that their ordinary everyday life would happen just the same except they would 10,000 miles from their birth country.  On the other hand some people have no idea and live in dream land.  Many of them will be in for a real shock.

I agree with you - none of the migrants that I know personally have all done their homework - even if they have watched the shows.  Our very own Cal was in the pilot episode (and a revisited one) and has always said how it is edited.

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, ali said:

"none of the migrants that I know personally have ...done their homework"

Is that what you meant to say?   

I thought we'd had this conversation before and you felt that people DID do their homework.   

I can understand if the people you know well HAD done their homework.  After all, you know them either from PomsinOz (which is part of that homework), or they are migrants who are fairly happily settled wherever you live.    Let's face it, where would you get the chance to meet and become friends with people who didn't do their homework?  They've gone home with their tails between their legs, or they're posting bitter and twisted opinions of Australia on forums.

We've all heard the tales of people who get off the plane in Australia and are ready to jump back on it.  And I've seen plenty of people on these forums who have arrived and were clearly unprepared - they thought they'd walk into a job, or the price of housing caught them by surprise, or they hated the heat or the food or the lack of pubs.   A lot of people either don't do their research - or sometimes they do, but they resolutely close their minds to any facts that don't gel with their dream.

Edited April 28, 2019 by Marisawright

[ali]

51 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

Is that what you meant to say?   

I thought we'd had this conversation before and you felt that people DID do their homework.   

I can understand if the people you know well HAD done their homework.  After all, you know them either from PomsinOz (which is part of that homework), or they are migrants who are fairly happily settled wherever you live.    Let's face it, where would you get the chance to meet and become friends with people who didn't do their homework?  They've gone home with their tails between their legs, or they're posting bitter and twisted opinions of Australia on forums.

We've all heard the tales of people who get off the plane in Australia and are ready to jump back on it.  And I've seen plenty of people on these forums who have arrived and were clearly unprepared - they thought they'd walk into a job, or the price of housing caught them by surprise, or they hated the heat or the food or the lack of pubs.   A lot of people either don't do their research - or sometimes they do, but they resolutely close their minds to any facts that don't gel with their dream.

Thanks for pointing that out Marissa.  No, I meant to say that they hadn't moved without having done some homework.

Not all the migrants I know have been happy here, some have had awful dilemma's and some have gone back, but  they didn't move back to their countries of origin because they hadn't done their homework in the first place.  The knew what they were doing, were realistic but for one reason or another it just didn't work out.

Of course there are people who are like the examples you've given, for me, I feel that a lot will have done some research before uprooting their families and the people we come across on the forums are a minority.

 

[Toots]

3 hours ago, Marisawright said:

I think you give people too much credit.   People DO believe reality shows all the time.  I am constantly amazed by it.   

It's a worry isn't it?  

[Toots]

9 hours ago, Quoll said:

Quite normal. You'll either get over it or you won't. Early on I never minded returning to Australia, it was still an adventure but after a while I hated to have to return and on several occasions actually threw up when I had to leave and bawled all the way in the train to the airport. We should have left Aus earlier (but the DH wouldn't) and now, apart from the need to be in UK to care for elderly dad, it isn't financially viable for us to live there permanently - we drifted past the point of no return. Don't be fooled into thinking you HAVE to stay in Australia because so many people think it's the best thing since sliced bread - its your life to do with as you want and there's little to choose between two first world countries.  I'm in Australia on holidays now and I still don't feel I belong after 40 years. On the plane over I had a chat with a woman much my age who had lived here almost as long as I had and she was still quite distressed at having to return to Australia after her annual sanity hit in UK - she was on the point of announcing to her family that she was going to move permanently (like me, split kids, some here some there) and was fearing ructions from one of her Australian kids (I hope she weathered the storm).

Whatever you do, don't let yourself drift past that point of no return, make active decisions at regular intervals because there's nothing worse than finding yourself trapped at some point. 

I know you are a coper Quoll but when you do come back to live I hope you will be happier.  Will that involve frequent visits to your son and grandchild in the UK?  

[Amber Snowball]

Just to add some “balance”. If your life is miserable, you work long hours, multiple jobs just to make the ends not quite meet, you feel trapped in your life, going nowhere. Then tbh you can’t blame people for clinging to a dream that a sunny, bright vision on the tellie will make their lives better. It doesn’t matter what a bunch of strangers on an Internet forum say, if someone really believes Australia is the answer then any warnings to the contrary will fall on stony ground, as evidenced on here quite a lot recently, people don’t want to hear it.

Having been that ground down, exhausted nurse in the NHS going nowhere fast in an armpit part of London,  I can’t say I blame them. I never saw this website prior to my move but it wouldn’t have made any difference if I had I would still have moved. You honestly believe that it can’t be worse than what you are doing now. 

If I was to flag that Scotland have just employed 100 Aussie nursing grads to plug their workforce and that those 100 nurses couldn’t find work in Australia so were happy to go, would any nurses clammering to get into Australia want to know about it? Probably not. They’ll rationalise it by saying “ oh, they have no experience, so I’ll be fine as I have x amount of years, they’ll snap me up “ or any other number of reasons why it’ll be fine.

It’s human nature. People generally don’t want to live with “what if” so they go regardless.

 

[Marisawright]

34 minutes ago, Amber Snowball said:

Just to add some “balance”. If your life is miserable, you work long hours, multiple jobs just to make the ends not quite meet, you feel trapped in your life, going nowhere. Then tbh you can’t blame people for clinging to a dream that a sunny, bright vision on the tellie will make their lives better. It doesn’t matter what a bunch of strangers on an Internet forum say, if someone really believes Australia is the answer then any warnings to the contrary will fall on stony ground, as evidenced on here quite a lot recently, people don’t want to hear it.

Having been that ground down, exhausted nurse in the NHS going nowhere fast in an armpit part of London,  I can’t say I blame them. I never saw this website prior to my move but it wouldn’t have made any difference if I had I would still have moved. You honestly believe that it can’t be worse than what you are doing now. 

If I was to flag that Scotland have just employed 100 Aussie nursing grads to plug their workforce and that those 100 nurses couldn’t find work in Australia so were happy to go, would any nurses clammering to get into Australia want to know about it? Probably not. They’ll rationalise it by saying “ oh, they have no experience, so I’ll be fine as I have x amount of years, they’ll snap me up “ or any other number of reasons why it’ll be fine.

It’s human nature. People generally don’t want to live with “what if” so they go regardless.

 

You’ve got it in a nutshell.

[Perthbum]

10 hours ago, ali said:

What exactly do you blame it for? 

Always film when sun is shining and we know its not true, always show the best bits of every location and not the worse, always show immaculate houses at unrealistic prices,  they never factor in the cost of schooling rents etc etc.unrealistic wages, unrealistic work hours, it just does not show a true reflection of life in Oz in my opinion

[Skani]

4 hours ago, Amber Snowball said:

If I was to flag that Scotland have just employed 100 Aussie nursing grads to plug their workforce and that those 100 nurses couldn’t find work in Australia

That's interesting.   A year ago the Tasmanian government had a very expensive recruitment drive for nurses in the UK - including offering  relocation costs - to fill positions they can't fill with Australian nurses.

[Amber Snowball]

7 minutes ago, Skani said:

That's interesting.   A year ago the Tasmanian government had a very expensive recruitment drive for nurses in the UK - including offering  relocation costs - to fill positions they can't fill with Australian nurses.

Yeah. Didn’t read the whole article tbh and then couldn’t find it in my emails. I’ll look again. It was more to illustrate a point!

The fact is nursing isn’t as short as it once was. I think people think everywhere is as short as the NHS but it isn’t. With nursing it is area specific as well but even Ali on here says mental health isn’t as short as it used to be and that has always been a difficult area to recruit to.

[Amber Snowball]

Look at that, went into my inbox and found it straight away....... Only this bit as I don’t pay for the whole article. It was in the nursing times.

More than 100 Australian nurses are due to come and work in the North East of Scotland, as part of an initiative to help staff deemed surplus “Down Under” into employment and to help tackle nurse shortages in the Grampian region.

[Quoll]

13 hours ago, Toots said:

I know you are a coper Quoll but when you do come back to live I hope you will be happier.  Will that involve frequent visits to your son and grandchild in the UK?  

Yup. I’ve decided that being a grandparent on the other side of the world sucks! Said goodbye to the girls yesterday - stalwart on the outside on both sides but tears on my inside. And I’m not even an enmeshed grandparent!!!!  Last year I met a little girl with her baby sibling and we got chatting she was so excited to be going to see her grandparents and I teared up when all I wanted to say was “and I’m sure your nana will love to see you too!”. Most of the time you cope because you have to, but it’s the little things!!!