Ema Posted April 3, 2019 Author Share Posted April 3, 2019 Thank you. I’m sure I’ll get there. In Australia I had a full life with a job and lots of friends. Here I have no job and few friends so it’s very different at the moment. I know that’ll all come with time and I know I have to be proactive in building a life again. It’s just dealing with the present is harder than what I imagined it would be. I keep looking back at how good I had it in Melbs and then find it hard to believe that a future here would be half as good which sends me spiralling into depression. My mind is the enemy right now and I need to figure out a way to attach good thoughts and feelings to my new home. Like I keep saying time will help I’m sure. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacGyver Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 7 hours ago, Ema said: I envy people who think Liverpool is the best city in the world. That’s what I used to think and I was quite happy. I left because I was curious about the world but I didn’t expect to fall in love with another place so much. I’m trying to explore, find places I’ll enjoy and meet new people through netball and Mother’s groups but (obviously) it’s going to take time. I just miss Melbourne so much. My heart feels like it’s torn in two. It’s pretty crap to say the least and I’m fed up of feeling down about it. I’ve stopped talking about it to family and friends to try and focus on the positive things and to try not bore people to death with my moaning. I’m going to give it a couple of years. If I still feel like this in 2 years I may have to think about going back although I honestly don’t want to. Time will tell I guess. One of the challenges of your situation is that probably nobody in Melbourne will be able to understand what it's like for you in the UK and nobody in the UK will be able to understand your sadness after returning. It leaves you in the difficult position of having what sounds like lots of close friends across the globe but nobody that can really understand how you're feeling. That can be a very lonely feeling when you have so much swirling around your head, but it's absolutely not your fault and nothing you have done wrong. I hope that doesn't sound patronising it's just that I've wrestled with my own mind in the past and it took me a lot longer to recognise it for what it was and accept support to move past it. Don't be scared to go to your GP or self refer to local supports even just to find a completely safe, unbiased and impartial space to explore those feelings and have a chat. It's ok not to be ok, and it can be for no obvious or logical reason at all never mind the culture shock of moving across the world. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 On 19/03/2019 at 03:13, can1983 said: Of course it would be hard to leave a world city for the north of England. It would be just as hard to leave London and move to Ballarat.... The only thing better in Liverpool than Melbs is the standard of football Oh and the medical treatment for headbutts and other GBH injuries is far superior in Scouse land due to the experience the local health professionals have in dealing with this sort of injury. Chester isn't a bad option if you are looking to get a part in Hollyoaks??? You have been away a while haven't you It has moved on a fair degree from headbutts now Pick your weapon of choice . I have said many times on here There are 2 englands Urban , which in certain places ,can be bloody dangerous ,with such little value for human life Rural and semi rural - in some cases ,nothing much has changed ,and they have a safe and peaceful life . 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unzippy Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 On 04/04/2019 at 08:45, Ema said: Thank you. I’m sure I’ll get there. In Australia I had a full life with a job and lots of friends. Here I have no job and few friends so it’s very different at the moment. I know that’ll all come with time and I know I have to be proactive in building a life again. It’s just dealing with the present is harder than what I imagined it would be. I keep looking back at how good I had it in Melbs and then find it hard to believe that a future here would be half as good which sends me spiralling into depression. My mind is the enemy right now and I need to figure out a way to attach good thoughts and feelings to my new home. Like I keep saying time will help I’m sure. Maybe it would be more fair to compare life now, with when you first landed in Melb, not when you left Melb? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Given the discussion about the merits of Melbourne vs Liverpool and the difficulties of settling into a new place, can I go off topic here and ask if anyone remembers a tv series with Tim Healey back in the eighties called “Boys from the Bush”? It dealt with Aussie/UK differences in a very funny way and I would love to watch some of it again now that I have ended up in Australia, but unlike many other series I’ve never seen or heard of it again. Just curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 29 minutes ago, Fisher1 said: Given the discussion about the merits of Melbourne vs Liverpool and the difficulties of settling into a new place, can I go off topic here and ask if anyone remembers a tv series with Tim Healey back in the eighties called “Boys from the Bush”? It dealt with Aussie/UK differences in a very funny way and I would love to watch some of it again now that I have ended up in Australia, but unlike many other series I’ve never seen or heard of it again. Just curious. I remember that series Fisher. Must have been over 20 years ago and we used to have it on DVD too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 5 hours ago, Toots said: I remember that series Fisher. Must have been over 20 years ago and we used to have it on DVD too. When I saw it I would have bet money on never even visiting Australia, let alone moving here to live - funny how things turn out sometimes. I’d love to see it again from this angle 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 26 minutes ago, Fisher1 said: When I saw it I would have bet money on never even visiting Australia, let alone moving here to live - funny how things turn out sometimes. I’d love to see it again from this angle Haha found a bit on you tube... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Rose Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 I’ve skimmed through this thread so apologies if I’ve missed the obvious, but to the OP: Why did you leave Melbourne and return to the UK if your life in Melbourne was so perfect? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trinny Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 (edited) Hi there I completely agree with macguyvers comments and I am also going through something similar. I came back to the UK on my own in November after a divorce and 21 years away (11 in NZ and 10 in Australia) and am finding it quite challenging to adjust to life back here after so long away. I choose to move to Edinburgh rather than Glasgow (where I originally left) for somewhere different and new and also work opportunities. What I would say is that, whilst I expected to have to create a new life for myself moving back after so long, I have found that after lots of “catch ups” with old friends, subsequent suggestions (from me) to meet for lunch or another time have fallen on deaf ears and none of them are really very interested in what I’ve been up to over 20 years (even the person who was my best friend before I left and former bridesmaid). Initially I found this a bit surprising and hurtful, however have now realised it’s not personal, their lives have moved on and - like many others say on here - I need to treat being back here like moving afresh to a new country. so my new philosophy in April was to get out there and to join 5 meetup groups of things I am interested in and go to them regularly to get to know people. Regardless of whether the event is something I’m dead into or not, I go along to the same groups regularly (usually at least one meetup event a week) as I think this is the only way to get to know people & make new friends. One of the better type events one of my meetups runs are pub quizzes which are great as you are focussed on the activity rather than only trying to make polite small talk with strangers. I’ve also found that volunteers are sometimes needed to Marshall or help at specific events and I’m just about to start my training for volunteering at the Edinburgh festival in August. i think regardless of whether you move somewhere new or not, you will really need to put yourself out there - join a gym class and go regularly; join a mother’s group, look at meetup groups in your area (also try citysocialiser etc) - if you want to make new friends. Also put some things in the calendar to look forward to - mini break with hubby and get extended family to babysit, schedule some calls with your old friends etc i am expecting the process of re-settling to take me at least a year before I feel less lonely and more in a routine, so I think you need to give yourself a bit more time to adjust. It is really hard - in amongst day to day living to force yourself out to events at times - but think it is the only way to go. Go easy on yourself Edited June 26, 2019 by Trinny 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ema Posted June 26, 2019 Author Share Posted June 26, 2019 (edited) Thanks Trinny, it’s great when you feel understood. Since being back I’ve joined a netball team and go to a regular yoga class. I’ve signed up to start a masters degree in September so I’m moving forward and feeling better about my new life here. It’s been a difficult 8 months but I’m getting there. Thanks again. I’ll look at joining some other clubs. It’s hard as hubby works away and I have two young girls but I’ll figure it out. Thanks again xxx Edited June 26, 2019 by Ema 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jemvin Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 On 26/06/2019 at 15:53, Ema said: Thanks Trinny, it’s great when you feel understood. Since being back I’ve joined a netball team and go to a regular yoga class. I’ve signed up to start a masters degree in September so I’m moving forward and feeling better about my new life here. It’s been a difficult 8 months but I’m getting there. Thanks again. I’ll look at joining some other clubs. It’s hard as hubby works away and I have two young girls but I’ll figure it out. Thanks again xxx How are you getting on Emma? I feel a little in the same boat as you but more so my hubby but I know it’s normal to feel this way. Have things improved? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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