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leaving a family member


Hamfam

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HI, We are new to this forum and looking for some advice, we have submitted out EOI and currently awaiting an invite (fingers crossed)

Our questions is has anyone emigrated without a child? when I say child I should perhaps state that our daughter is 23 and is independent from us, she is in full support of us emigrating,  however, I keep having overwhelming episodes of anxiety about being thousands of miles away should she need us and fill my mind with every scenario possible. 

has anyone else been in this situation? how did it work out?

 

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Works out fine. You're choosing to be on the other side of the world, you can call her if you're worried and vice versa. Make sure you've got enough space on the credit card to go back should you need to in an emergency. As long as you've done a good job as a parent and raised a resourceful independent adult she will be fine and so will you. Out of sight, out of mind is a good survival strategy.

One of mine accidentally emigrated to UK at that age and then when we accidentally emigrated back we left one in Australia. Grandparenting sucks via Skype but you get used to it.

Edited by Quoll
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We are in a similar position to you. We have applied for a visa (waiting for contact or grant). Oldest daughter is staying in Canada she is 21. She has a good head on her shoulders and she lives on the other side of the country to us. We video message a few times a week and are in touch daily. The experience of her living away (3300km) has allowed me to feel a bit more comfortable with her being on the other side of the world. I have planned to leave an emergency fund in my bank account just in case and we do have relatives she can reach out to if it's an emergency.

 

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I’ve returned to the Uk leaving a 24 yo in Australia.We email. He has an emergency number for an old work colleague of mine in Melbourne if needed. I have emergency money in my Australian bank account and emergency money here as well. It’s working ok. He is there finishing university. You do worry but they are adults, if you’ve done the parenting leg work when they were growing up there’s not much more you can do. 

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There is no right or wrong and no one knows how it will pan out. For me personally, no I wouldn’t do it. Not because they wouldn’t be ok but because no where on this planet would be good enough for me to choose over seeing my kids maybe once a year if that. My kids have made the move and I’m ok with that as it’s their lives and I’ve raised them to be independent and happy. For me that’s a world apart from me choosing to leave. That is in no way a dig at anyone who is ok with it, it’s honestly ok if if suits you. 

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I moved when my son was 18 and had just moved into temporary residence at university.  He'd always been fairly independent and when I told him I had the opportunity to move to Australia, he was happy for me and said no point in me hanging around Canada to be near him since there was always the possibility he'd end up moving overseas at some point.  You do what's right for you and hopefully your children will also be comfortable to do what's right for them.

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